Hero Worship Pt. 05

My panties ended up on the floor in short order, and My Lady's mouth descended on my most intimate place, sending waves of joy echoing and rebounding through my body. I didn't ask to come. My Lady had given me an order and I intended to follow it if I possibly could. Inside five minutes I had the sheets in a death grip as I shook under her ministrations.

"Oh, My Lady!" My voice quavered, begging and pleading, and she let up, kissing back up until her face was level with mine.

"You did really well, baby. I'm going to give you your reward now." The devilish glint in her eye told me my reward was going to be to service her, but I was completely okay with that, as my suddenly watering mouth would attest.

I watched as she stood by the bed and stripped off her jeans and underwear. She climbed back onto the mattress, walking on her knees until she straddled my face. She didn't have to say anything. I breathed in her aroma as she positioned herself over me, and I wrapped my arms around her thighs as she lowered herself, eyes closing while my lips enveloped her.

I licked and suckled, holding her to me as I took her higher and higher. She pulled her fingers through my hair, and I looked up the length of her body, her gentle, loving gaze shining down. That familiar warmth of adoration and worship filled me, and I redoubled my efforts, and soon enough I was rewarded with My Lady's powerful orgasm as she ground herself against my face.

I was more than ready to keep going, as I almost never was satisfied with giving her only one, but she pulled away.

"Mmm, that was wonderful, baby. I want you to keep going, but we're going to change it up a little." She caressed my cheek. "And I'm lifting your restrictions on orgasms. I want you to come as much as you can. Okay?"

I nodded.

"And I expect it to be a lot, understood?"

"Yes, My Lady."

"Good." She swung her leg back over my head, but this time she was facing the other direction. Given the view, I definitely preferred the other way. "Oh!" Then again this way has its advantages, as My Lady leaned forward and pushed two fingers deep inside me. Her tongue flicked across my clit and I jumped and moaned.

"Baby." Her voice carried a hint of remonstrance, and I realized I wasn't keeping up my end of the bargain, so to speak. I lifted my face and continued to work on her, which took all of my concentration, as the sensations from what she was doing made me almost insane with pleasure.

My Lady pulled my clit into her mouth, and it was a very good thing I didn't need to ask for permission, because the orgasm crashing into me was an unstoppable force.

For the next two hours Taylor made love to me, and I gave myself over to her. Any way she wanted me, for as long as she wished, and the more I surrendered, the better everything felt. It was like I was floating, completely at the whim of My Lady, where I was safe and loved. It was a stunning paradox, one I still didn't understand completely, but there was no question, the more Taylor used me for her pleasure, the more pleasure I received, and the stronger my accompanying orgasms were. And I kept my word, I couldn't tell you how many times she had me screaming out into the evening.

Finally she pulled me up into her arms and settled the covers around us. I was exhausted, but relentlessly and blissfully happy as she cuddled me. It'd been so intense that it was several minutes before I could even speak.

"I had a really nice time, today, Taylor."

"Me too, baby."

"I love being here with you, y'know."

She smiled at me, but it wasn't quite her real smile. "I do, too."

"That's good, cause you're never getting rid of me."

That pushed a button, as a momentary spasm of pain crossed Taylor's handsome features. I don't think anyone else would have even noticed, but I did. She was having those thoughts again, like I was going to leave her. What the hell did she and my dad talk about? The thought crossed my mind that this could have something to do with my screw up at the fair, but we'd talked about that. That's a lot of what today was all about, after all.

I leaned back against Taylor, and she pulled me tighter to her. She'd finally started to relax as we'd made love, and pushing her as to what was wrong would be a bad move. I'd definitely been right in what I'd said to Sadie. This was going to require a call to my dad.

***

I'd managed to pile two huge things on my plate, on top of my senior project and trying to graduate and find a job.

"Baby? Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Of course I am. Why?"

"You seem tense. Didn't I relax you enough?"

I giggled as she pulled me tight and kissed my neck. "No, you were wonderful, My Lady." I sighed. "It's stuff about school, and life."

"Are you worried about, um ..."

"About us?" I turned in Taylor's arms, and I could immediately see the uncertainty in her face. I kissed her neck and snuggled into her embrace. "No sweetheart, not at all. You are the one thing in this world I'm absolutely sure about."

I felt Taylor relax, which made me smile. I still had a hard time falling asleep, but, safe in her arms, eventually I managed it.

Taylor

"I'm not good enough for her. It was very clear."

Jen sighed and set down her coffee mug. "Do you think Aly agrees with that?"

"Maybe not. Or not yet. But eventually she will."

"Why?"

I didn't say anything. I took a sip of my coffee. I wish Aly were here. Damn, that's a weird thought. This whole thing was because of her, but still, when she was here, close, it all seemed easier. Even though she was going to leave.

"Because she actually loves and admires her father. And because he's probably right."

Jen gave me a stern look. "That's crap and you know it."

"Is it? Just look at it from his perspective."

"Taylor..."

"No, seriously. I make crap money at a dead end job. A college drop out who couldn't possibly afford to go back. I was getting a useless degree anyway. I'm nothing to him. And I don't even think it's about me being a woman."

"Taylor, you're twenty-five years old. You don't have to have everything figured out yet."

"Aly does. She knows exactly what she wants to do, who she wants to be."

"And who she wants to be with."

"She doesn't see it yet. But she will. I worry about her. She's really naive. Very trusting."

"Have you talked to her about this?"

"She knows."

"And what does she say?"

"She doesn't see the issue. She doesn't care. For now."

Jen sat back. "Does Aly lie often?"

My brow crinkled. "No, not at all. She tends to be brutally honest, usually."

"Then why do you think she's lying now?"

"Well, I don't, really."

"She's just young and naïve, right." Jen was smirking at me now, after trapping me in my own words.

I started to open my mouth, but she cut me off.

"Taylor, this is in your head, and it's only as real as you make it. Look, when I got hurt and had to retire from volleyball I was devastated. I went from being a popular, marketable athlete to a spectacular nobody. And then when Vickie's modeling career took off, I almost broke up with her."

I was confused. "Why?"

"To keep her from doing it to me. I wasn't sure I could handle that." Jen's gaze was far away. "How could this gorgeous, exotic model want to be with a washed up loser of a girlfriend? I was terrified, and really depressed. I wouldn't have blamed her for leaving. Finally, one day she came home from a meeting with her agent extremely upset. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I knew. She was leaving me. We made love that night like it was the last time, and I was sure it was. But she didn't leave. And I decided to be better for us. Got a job, worked hard. And it wasn't really for her. She'd proven herself so many times, if I'd just paid attention. I needed to prove to myself I was worthy of her."

Jen chuckled and shook her head. "Do you have any idea how much more money Vicky makes in a year than I do? It's not a small amount, I promise. But it doesn't matter. The work I do matters, both to you and your coworkers, and to the girls I coach. I'm proud of my life. And I trust my partner. Vicky does a lot to try to put me at ease regarding that. Little things, like holding my hand at the fancy parties I go to with her. She doesn't think I know she does them on purpose, but I do. They mean a lot, but it doesn't matter. I love her, and she loves me. That's all that matters.

"So there's only one question. Are you worthy of her? But the salient thing is, her father doesn't get to answer that question. Only you and Aly do. And we already know what her answer is. So it's up to you. Are you worthy of her?"

That question rang through my head as I rode out to the warehouse, and as I worked it became clear. This was my passion. Maybe it would never be more than a side-hustle, but I was proud of what I made, the things I did. And I was a good lifeguard. A life spent protecting people was no waste. Maybe I wouldn't be doing it forever, but it was fine for now. Assuming Mr. Beville was true to his word, I had the show coming up. I'd work hard for that, maybe it could be a stepping off point for something. But even if it didn't, I'd keep going. I'd do it for Aly, so I could be the woman, the partner, she deserved.

I thought about last night, how intense it had been for me. I'd always assumed dominant/submissive relationships were for the benefit of the dom, and that felt selfish, at least to me. But last night I'd had a revelation. Aly had gone to some other place, so given over to the experience of our lovemaking that she'd stopped speaking. And in that moment, holding her in my arms, I knew that I'd been completely wrong. It wasn't about me at all. It was about her. She'd willingly placed herself in my hands, and it was up to me to bring her as much pleasure as I possibly could, to care for her as she reached new heights of bliss. It was my job to keep her safe, and to be a loving place for her to come back to Earth.

Once I'd realized that, everything had changed. The hesitation and shame I'd felt in my dominant role had evaporated, and I'd been filled with, well, I guess, a sense of purpose. It's funny, but I think it's always been there, somewhere. The girls I'd been with before, so many curious little femmes, even in my anger and hurt I'd wanted to take care of them too, but I didn't know how, or they never let me. Or more likely a combination of both. They weren't Aly. Aly was special, the way she gave of herself, the absolute trust in her eyes when made love. And that is exactly what it was, for both of us.

What I'd felt just a few nights before was still valid, I was terrified of what might happen if Aly broke up with me, how her next partner might take advantage of her, especially now that she was realizing what she wanted.

I looked down at what I was sketching. There was Aly, laughing in the ocean spray. I knew what was happening off the page. I was splashing her, a wide smile on my face as we played in the water, laughing like children. I gently touched her face on the page. She'd given me my innocence back, in a way, and I'd protect hers with everything I had. God, maybe I was worthy of her, or at least maybe I could be.

Aly

"Is there any new business?"

My heart was thumping in my chest, but I raised my hand. Evelyn looked at me, her expression confused.

"Aly?"

"I have something, madam president." That really got people looking at me. We only kept things semi-formal at these things, and almost never called each other by our titles. It was a calculated move that had been Sadie's idea. Apparently, and as usual, she'd been right, as suddenly every eye was on me.

"I was looking through our by-laws and I saw something that disturbed me. It says that we do not discriminate by religion, race, or disability. I don't think that's a very exhaustive list for today."

"What would you recommend adding?"

I glanced at Sadie, who nodded in support. I pulled in a deep breath and pulled the trigger. "Socio-economic status and sexual orientation."

The second one brought a murmur from the seven women around the table. It was quiet, but noticeable. I pressed on.

"We're supposed to be an inclusive sisterhood, and in some ways we do a good job. But when was the last time we had someone from, let's say, humble origins in a pledge class? I've heard the women here laughing after someone leaves who was wearing less than designer clothes. Were any one of you not asked about your parents' occupations when you were rushing? I know I was.

"And secondly, how many sisters do we have active right now?"

Evelyn had that number memorized, just like I knew she would. "Fifty-three, including the pledges."

"How many of them identify as lesbian, bisexual, or something else besides straight? Openly, that is?"

I looked around the table, trying to make eye contact with each member in turn. A couple wouldn't look at me. Macie was staring me down a bit. I hadn't really been counting on her support, given what happened on the beach a few months ago.

"This is 2020, and we need to be better than that."

Kirsten, the Junior class representative chimed in. "I'm game, it should be more inclusive. I don't think we need the first one, but I'm not opposed to it, and we should definitely have sexual orientation on that list."

"No, we shouldn't." Macie closed her eyes and took an exasperated breath. "Look, there's a reason we don't have that on there."

Sadie piped in. "Yeah, because it was written in 1975."

"No. Look, we don't want lesbians in our sorority. I wouldn't let one in, and it's not because I hate them, or anything like that. Yeah, we all have a good time, but the reason we all joined this sorority is to make connections, to give us opportunities when we leave school. We become known as a lesbian friendly sorority, and we all get painted with that brush. Those opportunities will dry up fast. And whether or not you know that, the Alumnae Council certainly does, and they won't allow it. All we can do is make recommendations about the bylaws anyway, and if we send this to them we will be shunned. It won't be obvious, but it'll happen."

She was staring at me now, so I held her gaze. "So we discriminate, do the wrong thing to maybe make our lives easier sometime down the road?"

"You're damn right we do." Macie sat forward in her chair. "Look, you're going to be an architect, Evelyn a Lawyer, Sadie a doctor, Leah an engineer, you all have solid careers. I'm studying journalism, which is a vanishing profession, and I am going to need every connection I can get. I can't afford to play social justice warrior."

"Ok, stop." Evelyn sat forward and raised her voice slightly. "I, personally, am with Aly on this. It's time we added this. It needs to be normalized, and I would prefer to be on the right side of history." Macie opened her mouth, but Evelyn held up her hand. "However, I understand Macie's misgivings. I move that we table this discussion, and revisit it next month. I will reach out to Heather and see what she has to say. Second?"

Leah, a junior and our treasurer, seconded the motion, and it passed quickly. I trusted Evelyn to keep her word. Heather was our alumna advisor. I'd met her a few times and liked her okay, but Evelyn was the one who worked closely with her. I'd started the ball rolling, and I was happy with that for now. And I'd keep at it, as long as it takes.

We dove into the Christmas Ball, and the meeting lasted a good while still. Eventually I made it back to my room, flopping down on the bed.

Sadie slid into the room. "Macie's still in there bitching about you. Evelyn's got your back, though."

"Remind me to thank her."

"Ok." Sadie sat down at her desk. "Hey, Aly?"

"Yeah."

"Thank Evelyn."

"Shut up, Sadie."

We both laughed, and I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!"

Evelyn, Kirsten, and Leah entered. I sat up, and Evelyn sat at the end of my bed.

"Well, that was interesting. Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I told Sadie. I just think it's time."

Leah crossed her arms over her breasts. "Macie's gonna fight it, all the way."

Kirsten nodded. "What is her problem? Like Aly said, it's supposed to be 2020, for God's sake. Her attitude's just..." Kirsten just shook her head.

Evelyn looked at me. "I've known her since we were freshmen. She's not going to give up on this. Is it really worth it?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Okay. Watch yourself."

***

"Hi, dad."

"Hi sweetheart. So what do you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. I'd rehearsed this conversation probably twenty times since I'd called my dad and asked him to meet me for lunch Saturday. But of course, now that it was here, I was totally tongue tied.

Luckily our waitress arrived at that moment, and I took the extra few seconds it took for me to ask for a Diet Coke to gather my nerves. I was supposed to be an adult, right? And adults are capable of talking to their parents like people. I was always worried that some part of Taylor saw me as a silly kid. Well, I was about to graduate college, and I wasn't a kid any more.

"Dad, I need to know what you said to Taylor on Sunday."

My father's eyes narrowed and he looked at me seriously.

"Why, what did she tell you I said to her?"

"She didn't tell me anything. But she's upset about something, or worried at least. So, spill."

"Our conversation was between me and her, Alyssa. Why don't you ask her?"

"Because she's as stubborn as you are. She was intimidated by just the house, and after I finally got what that was about out of her, I'm not going to push too hard."

"Sounds to me like there are already problems, if she won't talk to you."

"She talks to me. But she also loves me, dad, and she won't intentionally drive a wedge between me and my family. She'd put herself through emotional hell first, just to protect me. So, instead, you're going to tell me, so I can fix this, before she does something stupid and leaves me for my own good."

A flash of guilt crossed his face as he took a sip of his iced tea. Oh my God, I finally understood.

"Is that what you want? Is that what you told her to do?"

"No, of course not."

He may not have been lying, but he wasn't telling the absolute truth. What would Sadie do? She wheedled stuff out of me all the time. She'd change tactics, get me to talk about the same subject, only with a different focus.

"Fine. What do you think of her then, dad?"

He shrugged. "She's respectful, well spoken, I liked her fine."

"That's not the whole story. Since when do you lie to me, dad?"

Now it was his turn to look uncomfortable. "Honestly, sweetheart, it's not, god, how do I put this, it's not an even relationship. I want more for you than a lifeguard, no degree, no real future. That worries me, Aly."

I could feel my face hardening as he talked, mostly because I knew exactly how much that would hurt Taylor. "Did you say that to her?"

"I was honest with her, sweetheart."

It took everything I had to keep from crying. That explained everything.

"Look, I know you don't understand this now, and I'm sorry, but you have to look and see from my perspective, sweetheart. She's just not right for you."

"And this doesn't have anything to do with the fact that she's a woman, that I'm a lesbian?"

He winced a little as I said it, which took me back some.

"Daddy, do you have a problem with that?" Part of me was amazed I was talking to him like this. Throughout my life my dad had been a paragon, a man I was proud to call my father. He was generous but strong, firm but loving, but now he just seemed small. It was the first time I'd ever been disappointed in him.

"Honey..."

"No, seriously, dad. I. Am. Gay. I've always been that way, and I always will be. It isn't a phase or a choice. My only 'choice' is whether to be honest about it or hide it."