Hey Joe

Hey Joe

Fictional story, fictional everything that's in it. I can't play guitar like Jimi Hendrix and have nothing to do with AI. I've never been to Fantasy Fest, done body-painting, or been body-painted. My thanks to Mormon Jack for reviewing the story and his kind comments. Responsibility for errors, typos, etc. belongs to me. If you didn't like my previous stories, don't bother with this one.

"Hi, honey. Is everything okay?" Tina rarely called me during office hours, so I picked up as soon as I saw she was calling.

"Yes and no. I'm fine."

"So?" I was in the middle of reviewing an important contract and wanted to get back to it.

"Remember your old friend Matthew?"

"My old friend Matthew... Yeah; our old friend. How long is it since we've seen or spoken with him? At least thirty years."

"Something like that. I just ran into him near the Salvation Army shelter."

"That's interesting." This conversation was lasting too long; I had to get back to the document. "Tell me about it when we get home."

"Joe, he's homeless. He lives at the shelter. Sometimes there's no room for him and he sleeps on the street."

"Whoa, that's terrible. Let's talk tonight if there's any way we can help him out."

"Joe, he's emaciated, dressed in rags, and hasn't washed in a long time."

"I told you, we'll work out a way to help him get back on his feet. That's what friends do. What happened to his wife, what's her name... Amal?"

"I didn't ask him about that yet."

"Okay, when we get home. I have a contra—"

"Joe, you're an AI project manager at a major IT company. We've got a nice secure roof over our heads. Your former best friend is sleeping on the street. I want to bring him home with me."

I wasn't excited by that idea. Not all our memories together were good. I didn't have time to argue, so I joked. "Do we have to talk to him with that cheesy— I mean hip lingo we used to use?"

She laughed. "Keep on truckin', honey. See you later."

Matthew had been a friend in high school, university, and for a couple of years following. We spent a lot of time together, going camping, clubbing, or just hanging out. We didn't make it to Woodstock but grooved at a bunch of folk festivals. Together with Tina, Matthew and I had perfected the art of being weekend hippies. We smoked weed from time to time, and peddled a bit of hash, smoking away our profit. I never dropped acid. The one time I took mescaline, I couldn't get it up for a week afterward. Tina concluded we shouldn't use drugs anymore. Whenever Matthew would be preoccupied with a new girlfriend, he would lose touch with Tina and me, coming back to us when they split up. When he started with Amal, it quickly changed from being "preoccupied" to being oblivious about anyone else in his life. Tina and I pretty much forgot him, despite the adventures we had shared. Now he was back.

********************************

"Left! Now! Paddle left!"

"Watch out for that rock, Matthew!"

"Come on Joe, j-stroke. Help me here."

"Tina, push us away from that tree sticking out of the water. Keep us pointing downstream... Don't push so hard; you'll tip the canoe."

"You're going to kill me, Joe. You said this was an easy set of rapids."

"It is, sweetie. Relatively speaking."

"Fuck you and your relatively— ahh! Matthew, watch out!"

Matthew turned and grinned at Tina. "I got it."

"Fuck you, Matthew," I yelled. "Turn around and keep your eyes on where we're going. You almost... shit— Take the channel to the left of the rock, not the right."

Matthew had to paddle hard to get there. Tina had to push off to keep the side of our canoe from slamming into the boulder. The sighs of relief were audible as the class III rapids gave way to fast-moving but calmer water.

Tina was in the center of the canoe. I was at the stern, Matthew in the bow. She looked back at me. "I hope this was the worst of it. I don't know if my pants are wet from being splashed, or whether I peed myself in fright."

I leered at her. "I can check that out if you take them off."

"Joe, Matthew is here." I could hear, rather than see the frown on her face.

I started paddling. "Matthew, paddle hard on your right. Tina, you too."

"We're going to hit shore."

"We'd better." I pointed at a small clearing, which was silly, because I was behind both of them. They couldn't see me. "Land the canoe there."

"Why? The water is relaxing here. Let's go with the flow."

"See the sign?"

Matthew shook his head. "No."

"I see it," Tina said. "Portage."

We were in a wilderness park that had few amenities. I planned our route before we started the trip. The portage took us around a small waterfall that expert canoeists might be able to handle, but I was the only one of our group who was more than a novice. I winced as the bow of our boat slid onto the soil between two trees; Matthew jumped out and pulled us farther onto the ground. Tina turned around and looked at me. I nodded; she clambered off the front of the canoe. Both of them went to sit on a fallen-over tree trunk. We were in an old part of the boreal forest, surrounded by tall spruce trees, broad pines and the occasional birch. The trees were densely spaced; it was possible to walk between them, but it wouldn't be easy. Fortunately, the start of the portage was clearly marked.

"Let's unload."

Tina clasped her hands above her head and stretched. "Why? We did one set of rapids; let's do the next."

"We're doing the portage. I like adventure, not suicide."

Matthew looked at her chest as she stretched. "Are you sure you don't want Joe to check out your wet pants, or maybe your damp blouse?"

I wasn't sure whether to slug Matthew or laugh. At least he didn't ask to check her out himself. Since he broke up with his latest sweetheart, he spent a lot of time with Tina and me. This was the summer break before our senior year of college.

"Come on. We've got to get our canoe out of the way in case someone else comes along." I pointed to the ground near the bow. "See the fresh tracks in the mud? Someone else has come through lately. I don't want anyone to end up in the waterfall because we didn't give them place to pull in."

It didn't take long to get the canoe out of the way. It was hard work, and with the humidity we were soon bathed in sweat. Matthew pulled his shirt off trying to cool down, and Tina whistled.

Matthew wasn't an athlete or gym rat, but was in good shape. "Why don't we all take our threads off," he suggested.

"We're going to carry our canoe through a forest. There are branches, there are bugs that would have a good time with our skin. Tuck your pants into your boots, put your shirt on, roll down your sleeves and button up as best you can. Maybe there will be a spot where we can cool off at the end of the portage. In the meantime, I'll dig out the insect repellant."

Tina followed my instructions, but Matthew insisted on going shirtless. He lathered himself with repellant, asking Tina to do his back and shoulders. "You're going to be scratched and bitten by the time we reach the end," I said.

He turned to face Tina. "Want to do my front? I may have missed a spot or two."

Tina shook her head. "Next time you'll do your own back, asshole."

His smirk faded. "Whoa! Downer... sorry." He turned from Tina to me and repeated himself. "Sorry, man."

I lined my friends up alongside the canoe, putting Matthew in front. He was stronger than me, and the portage went downhill. Tina took the middle, and I took the stern.

"Tina, you want the center yoke resting on your shoulders. Matthew, try to align the bow seat with your head, so if your arms are too sore, you can shift some of the weight. We're going to be blind behind you, so give us a running commentary of what we're walking into, and what we have to watch out for."

"What about the backpacks," Tina asked. "Are you leaving your guitar here?"

"Anyone who comes ashore where we did is going to have to come this way, unless they want to go over the waterfall, which would destroy the guitar anyways. We'll see them."

"How long is the portage?"

"We'll bring the canoe, rest a few minutes to catch our breath, then come back for them. I think it's about two hundred feet, but I don't know how rough it is."

It was rugged: steep and narrow, with uneven footing. As we approached the end I could hear the waterfall, and spotted what looked like a makeshift rack to put the canoe on. We were all sweating, Matthew especially. His skin glistened from all the effort.

"You should clean the scrape on your elbow, and wash off the repellant," Tina told him. "We'll get water from the river."

"The first aid kit is in your backpack. Let's rest a few minutes and then go back for our stuff."

Tina lifted and examined his elbow. "It's bleeding. Let's go now. You need an antiseptic."

"Let me rest."

"I'll touch your handsome chest if we go now."

Matthew stood straight. "Let's go, then." He took her hand.

She shook him off and tweaked each of his nipples. "Eww, you're so sweaty." She wiped her palm on the side of his jeans, and looked to see if I was upset with her touching him.

I smirked. "Let's get our stuff." She grinned.

We put our backpacks on a large, dry rock, and Tina looked for the first aid kit. I rummaged in mine, looking for the bar of soap. "We should wash first."

Matthew pointed at a clump of bushes. "That looks like a trail. I'll check it out." He returned two minutes later, accompanied by two men about our age. Both were naked, except for towels over their shoulders. He pointed to the first. "Neil," and the second, "Boris." He then introduced me to his new friends. "This beautiful young lady is Tina." Neil and Boris immediately sprouted erections.

"Uh, why are you guys naked?" I glanced at my girlfriend, who was staring at the new guys.

"We showered under the waterfall. We're drying off in the sun, relaxing. The bugs aren't too bad here," Boris said.

"Where's your canoe?" He pointed up the trail but looked at Tina, who was staring at him. "See something you like?" He covered his crotch with his hands, and turned sideways.

"What is that?"

"What's what?"

"Under your hands. Turn back towards me."

"Uh, that's my penis."

She pointed again. "On top of it."

I took her hand. "Tina, what are you doing?" She shook me off.

"It's the top of my penis," Boris said.

"No, why does it look so strange. Your friend's is normal. Joe's is normal, like Matthew's."

"You remember my penis. That's touching," Matthew smirked. "Want to touch it?"

"Oh, uh..." she turned slightly red.

I cleared my throat.

"Uh, if Joe agrees, of course," Matthew said.

Boris grabbed his foreskin and gave it a little tug. "You're wondering about this?"

"Yea, that. What is it?"

"It's my foreskin. I'm not circumcised. You're looking at my original, uncut sex organ. You can touch it." He gave it another tug. "Go with the flow."

"No, that's okay. Can I take a closer look?"

"Tina..." I was pleased she didn't touch him, but not happy that she wanted a closer look. Boris was well endowed.

"Sure, sunshine. How do you want to do this?"

She walked over, stood inches from him and looked down. "I've never seen one that isn't circumcised." She stared, pursed her lips, took a breath and blew on it. Boris' dick wavered a bit.

"Come on, you're not being fair teasing me like this. Touch me, blow, me, do something. Don't leave me blue-balled."

Tina looked at me. I didn't want her touching this stranger's dick, but he was right. Her teasing wasn't fair. "Maybe it's time we took our shower," I said. "How's the water?"

Boris scowled at the change of subject. "Cold, but tolerable. You get wet, step out of the water, wash, step back under the water, then dry."

Tina blinked. "Are we all taking a shower together?"

Boris' scowl turned to a leer. The answer was 'yes,' but I didn't know how I felt about it. I gave her my usual cop-out reply by shrugging. I unbuttoned my shirt. Matthew looked at me, looked at Tina, and unbuckled his pants.

"Just so everyone understands, I am not getting undressed for sex. It's for a shower. That's all. So don't get any wrong ideas. And don't stare."

"I'm going to get the wrong idea if you keep staring at my dick."

Tina reddened, removed her pants and hung them over a branch. "Maybe I'll keep my undies on, and put on a fresh pair after." The four men around her were soon naked. The four men around her were erect. She took off her blouse. "Okay, let's get clean."

Matthew stood in front of her on the trail, his arms folded on his chest. "You know you're a cute little heartbreaker. Are we up to your standards?"

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

Matthew put his hands on his hips. "You said this isn't about sex, after spending a few minutes staring at Boris's cock."

"I wasn't—"

"Let your freak flag fly, Tina. His cock is big; bigger than mine, than Joe's or Neil's. You looked like you wanted to swallow it, foreskin and all."

"Well, yeah, I suppose I like it."

He put his hands on his hips. "You're the one who made this sexual, and after getting us all hard, you're teasing us by not getting undressed. If you're going to shower with us, wear the same outfit as us."

Tina looked at me for direction. This time I didn't even shrug. She did, before taking off her bra and panties, asking "Happy?"

Matthew grinned and shook his organ. "Does this answer your question, foxy lady? Your bod is totally rad."

She stuck her tongue out at him, then laughed. "This is weird, but cool."

Matthew stepped closer to her. "Can I get a hug?"

"No," I interjected. "We're here to shower. Let's get to it."

Neil led us single file along a narrow path. The entrance to the shower area under the falls required squeezing through some narrow rocks. Tina tried to minimize her exposure as she bent down to get under some branches. Matthew stumbled a bit; she grabbed his arm to steady him. A wall of water guarded the entrance, and Neil insisted that we hold hands for safety. We got through, but everyone was drenched and shivering.

"Let's do this quickly," Tina said. "Give me the soap, Joe."

"Oh, shit... I have to go get it."

"Make it quick. I'm naked and cold. I don't like that."

"Want to come with me?"

"Are you crazy? And while you're there, I have a small container of shampoo in one of the pockets of my backpack. Get it please."

"Are you sure you want the shampoo? It might take a few minutes to find."

"Look quickly," she frowned. "Go."

I walked through the wall of water again, thinking about my naked girlfriend being alone with three other naked guys. Two of them were strangers, and one of them was well endowed. To make it worse, she found the large, uncut penis interesting. I may have made a bit of a mess in the backpack, but I quickly found the soap and shampoo. I shivered in anticipation of what I would find when I returned. "Keep cool," I reminded myself. "She's not your possession, love is something to be shared..." I recited all the free love platitudes of the generation to myself, and picked a few wildflowers to present to her along with the damned shampoo. Maybe she'd put some in her hair.

I was mad at myself for leaving her alone with three naked guys. I was mad at myself for being mad at myself; it defiled our generation's free love mantra. I was especially mad at myself for being so turned on, having a painful erection at what was potentially going on with my girl. I walked back, chilling myself, but not reducing my hard-on in the slightest.

Tina was tightly sandwiched between Neil and Boris, facing the latter. Matthew stood a couple of yards away, taking photos with a cheap-looking camera. My jealousy and my membership in the free love generation were on a collision course. "Get into the picture. I wish I had my sketch pad," Matthew said. I looked at him like he was crazy. "Your girlfriend looks happy."

Tina gave a laughing shriek, and broke away from her companions. "I'll kill you if you draw me naked. I was cold; they warmed me up."

"You look pretty hot to me."

She rubbed her stomach. "Boris especially." She wiped her hand between her breasts, smearing his goo. "He's not blue-balled anymore."

"Okay, switch sides," Matthew said. Nobody moved. "Neil, you hug her from the front, Boris, the back. Joe, how do you want to fit in?"

I shook my head, trying not to look upset. Trying not to object as Boris positioned his dick in Tina's ass crack while Neil rubbed himself up and down on her belly. I wasn't impressed, but hey, it was the seventies. There was a zeitgeist to respect. It didn't take long for Neil's dick to pay its respects to Tina as he shuddered, adding his goo to the mix. I felt like an imposter for being upset and an idiot for not interfering.

Matthew tried to position Tina for his turn. I touched Tina's and Matthew's arms. "I think we have to do our stuff and get moving, guys. Our campsite is a couple of hours away."

Tina pouted. "I was getting warmed up."

Neil looked disappointed. "You're taking the east route around the shoreline? I'd like to spend more uh, time grooving together."

"I think you've had enough time grooving with Tina. You and Boris going the west route?"

"Yeah. Don't be a downer, man. Come with us. Our landing place is only an hour or so away, traveling straight across."

"True, but the next day you've probably got a full day of traveling, including some heavy rapids." I turned to Tina. "Let's wash quickly, get dressed and get going."

Matthew looked disappointed. "I want—"

"We'll talk about it as we're paddling."

Tina looked at me. "Can we—"

I looked at my watch. "I don't want to set up camp in the dark." I handed her the shampoo, quickly washed myself with the soap, then traded with her. Both of us handed off to Matthew. Neil and Boris played with their erections as they watched.

"What's going on, Joe? Everything was cool. Now you're acting like... I don't know." Tina caressed my chest, then grabbed my butt. "Are you upset about Neil, Boris and me? They didn't cum in me; just on me. It was fun. Get with it."

"I'm not upset," I lied. "Just antsy. I didn't expect to stop here so long. Let's go." I gave her hand a little tug. "Good luck on those rapids, guys. Keep on truckin'."

Boris gnawed on his lip. "Uh, groovy. Thanks."

We all exited the falls. Tina and I each had a towel; Matthew had to use one that was already wet. He put on underpants and shorts, then proclaimed himself ready. Tina glanced at him, then put her t-shirt in her backpack. "Ready."

I wasn't going to be the only one with a covered chest. "Tina, there's a problem with you exposing your tits. We need Matthew to keep his eyes to the front. He'll have a hard time... literally, knowing those things are right behind him."

"I'll even show you how hard—"

"Shut up, Matthew." I had to smile through my ire; I understood his dilemma. Tina's breasts were spectacular.

"So what is it? Do you want me to cover up while you two sexists go bare-chested?"

Matthew walked up behind Tina and wrapped his arms around her, tweaking her nipples. She took a deep breath as he turned her around and kissed them. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or hit him on the head with a rock when he squeezed her ass. Tina's breathing got louder.

Boris and Neil came through the trail and stopped in their tracks. Tina noticed them; it seemed to heighten her excitement. I started looking for a suitable stone when Matthew pulled his hands off and stepped away from Tina. Her face was red; she was practically gasping as she tried to recover from her near orgasm. Boris and Neil were also breathing heavily.

"That was outta sight, Tina. Let me give your boobs a kiss goodbye, and then I'll to concentrate on what's in front of me, rather than what's behind."