High School Sweetheart Problems Ch. 03

*Author's note- Hey! This is Sarah. If you are coming from the other two chapters I can't thank you enough for the support on this project. I feel like I need to clarify something going forward. This is an erotic story, and sex will be feature prominently, but I am trying to hold a long form narrative here. For me the focus is the relationship between Liam, Sara, and Elizabeth. I thank you for keeping with me, and I hope you do enjoy the story I am trying to create!*

*****

"So, what are we doing today? I still need that study session," Elizabeth was speaking while collecting her clothing from my floor.

I was sitting crisscross on my bed in some jeans. I watched her with the same rapt attention someone might watch a meteor shower. To me, having her in my room was a cosmic event.

Not that I had never had her in my room. In the years we had been friends she had come into my room many times. Especially that last Summer when I was sick as a dog. This was different. She was in her panties and that loose under shirt. She was comfortable with it. Comfortable being close to me. She didn't seem to want to be anywhere else. Elizabeth was the same bubbly girl I had grown so close, but now with a face that had a permanent radiant smile.

I was glad she felt so comfortable. I was still getting fidgety with just my shirt removed. Even after being all over each other minutes before I was still so self conscious. I even had trouble keeping my eyes on her. I felt pitiful.

"You listening to me Liam?" she turned back to me tossing her jeans over her shoulder.

"Oh, Yeah, sorry Liz. Just thinking about stuff. Yeah I can tutor you today. Why, do you want to do something?"

She gave me that safe, warm, smile, and sat on the bed next to me. It was an alien feeling having someone else's weight on my mattress; especially so close. She placed her hand gently on my knee. Her touch was full of safety, but at the same time full of vulnerability. I had to keep myself vulnerable and open to receive that safety.

Looking into those shiny brown eyes I saw my every fear. Fears I didn't know I had. I was so used to what I had with Sara that, for as sick as it was, I found a familiar comfort. Like someone accustomed to the chaos, I was almost afraid of the calm.

"You're blanking out again babe. Are you doing OK?" she asked gently stroking my knee.

I halfheartedly nodded. She seemed to catch onto something however.

"Who texted you when we got up?"

The answer was Sara. She was asking about how I liked the night before, and if we could meet again since it was Saturday. It was funny how a text from Sara had my mental state completely flipped on its head. I could have lied, but the first thing on my mind was my promise I made to Elizabeth.

"It was Sara. She was asking about last night, and wanted to meet today."

Elizabeth frowned with a raised eyebrow. Her hand stopped on my leg making me tense up at the anticipation. The air went frosty around us at Sara's name. Elizabeth didn't like Sara before she found out about her and me behind Leon's back.

"What did you say?"

"I said I couldn't see her."

Elizabeth reached up running a tender hand through my bangs pushing them back. Her palm stayed on my forehead for a moment.

"You feel kinda hot. This stuff is getting to you huh?"

"What do you mean?" I asked edging back away from her touch slightly.

"Liam, I've known you for a long time. I've seen how stress can get to you. I was there when you had a panic attack once, remember?"

That memory was a bad one. Back at school a little after our first year had begun I completely lost it in public. Over the Summer before classes I was fooling around with Sara, and I had gotten use to our toxic arrangement. I still hadn't seen Leon yet as he went out of town to a different college.

I saw Leon in public with Sara not long after our first week. I was already hanging out with Elizabeth, and thankfully she was there. I stuttered my way through an introduction for her before I felt all the air leave me. No matter what I tried I just couldn't keep it in. My whole body locked up, and it felt like a fire started in my chest.

I wasn't a stranger to panic attacks before then. That was one of the worst ones. I had to quickly excuse myself with a poor excuse before they all noticed. Elizabeth followed, and talked me through it.

--

"Liam what was that back there? Are you OK?"

She cornered me in the little empty space behind the cafeteria, and a concrete pillar. The late Summer air felt so hot and thin. Like each breath was useless as the air wasn't thick enough to help. It mortified me when Elizabeth turned the corner after me.

"Oh my God Liam! Are you OK?"

It was kind of a dumb question. I was smashed against the wall holding my chest and breathing like I just failed out of a marathon. She probably figured that, and stepped in front of me to check me out.

"Panic..." was all I could manage through gasps.

She reached out and grabbed my shoulders holding them tight. Her typical bubbly attitude was gone now fully serious.

"Just breath Liam. Take it slow. It's just you and me out here you can relax."

After a minute of her coaching and reassurance I made it back down. I figured after that she would stop talking to me so much, but after that it seemed like she was near me more. She would insist on grabbing lunch with me, pushed me to take her tutoring in math, and begged for me to tutor her in English.

--

"I'm not blind babe. I get it this whole thing is crazy for you. It's kinda crazy for me too," she covered her mouth muffling an anxious laugh.

"I've never fallen into a relationship this quick. Never been in bed that quick with someone either," she continued glancing down at the sheets with a sheepish laugh.

"The way Sara treated you, that is abuse. She used you when she wanted you, and strained your relationship with Leon. I understand there is more here than just me and you. I don't expect one night to fix all of that."

Elizabeth leaned in close and kissed my forehead. I almost jumped back. Afraid of her touch. Like I might accidentally transmit to her through contact how horrible a person I really was.

"Don't be so tense..."

She ran a soft hand down my back running off all of the tension with it. I melted for lack of a better word.

"Elizabeth I'm not good for you."

She quietly giggled into my forehead. She leaned back dragging her hand down my arm and curling her fingers around my hand when she got to it.

"Why not? Because of these?" She asked reaching out and brushing her fingers across my belly.

I had a mess of stretch marks there. Her fingers brushed, and lightly traced each one. It made me squirm bringing direct attention to them. I use to be fairly overweight, but a combination of self hate, and loathing pushed me to get rid of it. I thought it was ugly.

"That's not gross babe. It means you work hard. It means when you recognize something bad you can work to change it."

I averted my eyes from her as the blush crept in. She paused for a moment with her hand sliding down to my wrist. My heart stopped as she tightened her grip and turned my hand over.

"Are you ashamed of these?"

Her hand stayed tight over my wrist. She moved throwing a leg over my lap and settling into a comfy position leaning against me. Her thumb danced up and down my wrist pausing at each little subtle bump from the scars there.

Each one was faded, and dull. Almost invisible against my pale skin. Each brush took my breath away. Just like that she flipped that switch in me.

"These don't define you either. We all do bad things sometimes; especially when we are hurting," She whispered into my hair.

Her free hand wrapped around my shoulder and pushed me back onto the bed. I just let her. It scared me to give her so much control. To let her touch me in the places she was touching me. I always went to lengths to hide my stomach and wrists. They reminded me of how much of a fuck up I tended to be.

In her hands however, I felt safe. She could make me feel secure, but only if I let her in enough. I had to keep up that trust, and it terrified me to the core.

Elizabeth grabbed my other wrist every so delicately. Like she was picking up a damaged flower from a broken bouquet. She put both my hands above my head and held them there.

"We have been friends for years now Liam. You have told me a lot. I know what i'm getting into. Just try it out before you give up on yourself babe."

Two sides of my brain existed. One that refused to believe this could be good for her, and another side that said if I didn't at least try I would die anyways. The fact that I was slowly drinking myself into an early grave and letting Sara rip my brain appart was secondary to the possibility I might hurt Elizabeth.

In that moment I was selfish. I had been through it before. You can't love someone back to life. I already knew that. I went through it with Sara. We were both broken people. What made this worse was Elizabeth was just fine without me, but I was about to drag her through the mud.

Her eyes peered back into mine. A strong will hid there. Behind the warm brown eyes, and loving demeanor a fiery passion hid. Elizabeth was strong, and just fine without me. Still, she made me feel happy. Someone who really wanted me was here now making an effort to see past my flaws. So, I told myself the biggest lie.

I can change for her.

"I can do it. But, I'm sorry in advance..." she cut me off with a brisk kiss on the lips.

"No sorrys in advance. Just say yes."

I fidgeted under her struggling to say it. I had a problem with hedging my bets with language. Saying things like "Sorry if I fuck it up," to keep myself from building myself up. I also had to ignore the odd heat building up in my wrists where she was holding me. It was starting to feel good in the same way it did when she held my face.

"Yes," I breathed it out with visible effort.

"Good," Elizabeth pecked my lips, and hopped off me.

She left the room almost bouncing with all the energy in her steps. I took in a few long breaths before checking my phone. Another text in from Sara.

"Leon just came back into town actually. I'll be out with him. Dont text me, I'll text you first."

And as soon as Leon is back I'm a background character. It hit like a gut punch. I flopped back onto the bed laughing to myself quietly like I had a psychotic break.

"What's so funny babe?" Liz asked from the kitchen. I could hear her rummaging in the fridge.

I didn't answer for a few seconds. I leaned over the bed scooping up the bottle of Jack I kept hidden. The shot glass on my side table wasn't for decoration either. I put two down quick before answering.

"This whole morning LIz. I think we should grab lunch later. I'll buy, but you gotta drive."

"Sounds like a deal!"

So, after a nice breakfast of eggs and toast made by Liz, and a late morning of cuddling on the couch we took off. We both vowed that the English cram session would definitely happen when we got back from lunch, but I got the feeling now that Elizabeth was trying to procrastinate as hard as me too.

I never liked being in public. Being around a lot of people made me edgy. I didn't like to be seen. I'd rather have just been invisible. Goes along with every other identity problem I had I suppose. I always put on long sleeves and layers to keep people from noticing my body as much as possible. Stupid, considering no one every cares about other people as much as they think they do. Couldn't tell my neurotic brain that though.

With Elizabeth at my side I felt more at ease. Being in the crowds at the local mall affected me less. The problem wasn't gone, but her presence was calming. Just seeing her bubbly and giggly personality mix and mingle with all the strangers she met with. She would stop to just chat with any person over the most mundane things.

Everyone of these little conversations she came away with a smile, or a laugh, or some parting piece of information, and she did the same to whomever she spoke with. Her existence brightened more than just my life, but others she came into contact with. I watched almost in awe trying to learn something. Like I could pick up on how to be a social butterfly by just watching her.

In her black leather jacket, and the white button up she picked up from home on the way she stood out easily. The prettiest girl in the room. She didn't need to dress crazy and flaunt it. Her personality magnified the beauty that was already there.

We passed a massive fountain situated in the center of our mall. It was a pretty centerpiece with streams that reached all the way to the second story. They shimmered and danced in the sky against the sunlight above. The Light scattered through the water creating little diamonds of light that rained back down into the rippling pool below. It was beautiful. I had seen it a hundred times, but this time I really noticed it.

"You're spacing out on me Liam," Liz chirped up next to me as cheery as ever.

"Sorry, I just noticed the fountain."

She half laughed half snorted putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Just noticed? It's been here ever since we moved here for college. It was even here before we ever got here."

"Yeah I know I just... Well I just noticed how pretty it is."

She gave me a cock eyed look with an amused smile.

"Ok, well you keep looking at the pretty fountain. I'll grab us some pretzels from the stand over there," she patted my shoulder before skipping off.

I reached for my back looking for my backpack, but found nothing. I pulled myself back into the present realizing that I didn't have my bag, and by extension my writing book. I use to carry it on my daily, but with how bad I was getting between Sara, and drinking I had stopped even wanting to write. Sad, given that I was chasing an English degree because I loved to write.

Turning my attention back to the fountain I jumped taking a step back. Through the warbling effect of the sheets of running water. I spotted a familiar silhouette. Charcoal black hair, and striking blue eyes distorted by the cascading water. Her usual gray jacket sat around her shoulders over a black tank top.

When she saw me we locked eyes across the fountain. She knew it was me, but chose to ignore me. When Sara registered that it was me she immediately turned and began walking.

She locked arms with someone in a nice suit jacket starting to pull, but he resisted. Now I looked up to see who she was tugging on. A head of short, wild, blonde hair, and a pair of aviators I had seen before. He stopped pulling the glasses off and a smile cracked across his chiseled jawline.

Leon ignored where Sara wanted to go. He started rounding the fountain broad smile, and arms outstretched.

"Liam! Buddy it's been a while," he spoke with a booming voice. He seemed genuine. He usually was. As far as Leon knew we were still best friends.

He wrapped me up in a big hug. I just took it like a doll. No emotion to reciprocate back. I almost turned into an animatronic when the two of them approached me in public. It was a defensive mechanism.

"How's the degree coming man?" He asked. I felt bad. Scratch that, I felt disgusting. Sara next to him, and a little behind giving me the sharp eye that always meant, "Don't say a fucking thing."

"It's going good. Grades are up," I answered like a robot. All I had were stock answers for him.

"That's good man. What are you doing out today? Just shopping or stretching your legs?"

I hated how happy he was. It made me sick of myself. He and I could still be friends for real if it wasn't for me.

"I'm just stretching my legs I guess."

"Not out with anyone? No girl yet huh?"

He nudged my arm playfully ending the sentence with a laugh. My mask cracked in that moment. I glanced at Sara quickly then back down to my feet.

"No, I'm not with anyone right now," I lied for some reason. I didn't want to say that I was with Elizabeth in front of Sara for some reason.

"Oh well, if you want, you can join us. We are just shopping right now so..."

He was cut off by someone bounding up beside me, and looping her arm with mine. The nostalgic smell of mall pretzels following right after her fresh strawberry breeze.

"Hey Sara! You must be Leon. I think we met once a while ago."

Elizabeth reached out to shake Leon's hand. He was stunned during the shake darting his eyes between Liz and me. It looked like he wanted to say something, but the notion died in his throat in exchange for his usual big, inviting, attitude.

"Yeah I think I remember. Freshman year Liam was tutoring you in English. Damn, that was a while ago."

His built chest bounced up and down with the force of a big laugh.

"Your name is Elizabeth right? Liam mentioned you when we talked on the phone a few times."

She nodded smiling wide as ever. Even in front of Sara, whom I knew she hated obviously, she could keep up that mask. It was scary in a way, but I couldn't help but feel like she just came to my rescue.

The two of them went into cherry small talk, but I had tuned out. It turned to static noise in the background when I saw Sara. Her face said something I didn't like. The way her eyes were analyzing me, and Elizabeth. When our eyes locked she glanced at Liz, and then back to me. She was asking me "What is this?" with her eyes.

I dropped my gaze, and felt my heart rate tick up a couple notches. Elizabeth gave my arm a few reassuring squeezes.

"Yeah we should all hang out soon Leon. How long are you staying in town?" Elizabeth asked leaning into me. Her weight was reassuring, but my breathing wouldn't stay at a steady rate.

Leon sucked in a breath through his teeth checking his phone.

"I actually have to head back today, but I'm taking an extra week off after Thanksgiving break to be here with Sara. You guys will be back in school, but we can hang out after classes."

"Sounds great! We will see you guys around!" Elizabeth swept me away as quickly as she could finish her sentence.

"I cant believe that bitch can sit there and act like nothing is wrong next to him," She grumbled under her breath.

"Leon seems like such a good guy. He doesn't deserve what she is doing."

I nodded to myself still being pulled along like a doll. My whole sense of self wasn't quite back yet.

"He is a good guy. Now you understand why I am so fucking bad."

She stopped abruptly. I kept moving forward getting yanked back by her still holding onto me. Making sure no one was too close by she grabbed my other arm and pulled me close to whisper to me.

"Don't start that. Don't act like what she is doing to you and him isn't sick. Liam listen to me."

I had never seen her so serious. Elizabeth was actually angry. It was clear she had to restrain herself from shouting. It wasn't necessarily anger directed at me, but it still scared me.

"Don't act like she just started being evil either. She was a manipulative bitch when you guys were together. You've told me, and I've seen messages from back then. Every time she did something horrible you would find a way to make it your fault. You have to stop that."

She wasn't angry now. Her tone gradually moved down to something pleading. It was almost a helpless tone. All I could do was take the wave of energy coming from her.

"If she keeps fucking with you then I will step in. I will end it."

"No! No don't do that. Leon doesn't need that right now," I spoke before I really thought about it.

"Here we go again. It's somehow all on you to deal with all of this pain just to spare Leon's feelings? It's all your fault now huh?"

"I didn't say it was my fault!"

"It's implied if you think you should give up your mental health to keep them together."