His Guiding Light

"For $100, can you do it right now? I need to know the medical info and prognosis on the guy brought in from the gas explosion near here last night."

"Give me fifteen minutes." The orderly stood up and walked into the hospital. Fifteen minutes later he was back. "The guy is in bad shape but expected to make it, mostly. The concussion from the explosion damaged his eardrums, but he should recover most of his hearing. The damage to his spine will mean a lot of therapy just so that he can use a walker one day. Everything else is just a few broken bones and gashes which they fixed up. The heat from the explosion singed him fairly good, but nothing worse than some small second-degree burns. They're keeping him sedated for a few days to see if his spine stabilizes any. What's he to you?"

"I'm a concerned neighbor." Then Zach stood up, leaving two $50 bills on the bench, and walked into the hospital, found the number for Gerald's ICU room and proceeded to the visitor's area, where he called his brother, who called Mindy for him. Mindy was to call Lisa saying that she just saw the news report about Gerald.

Then Zach waited.

Not ten minutes later, while sitting in the visitors' area, Zach saw someone rushing down the hall. No need to guess who that was. He found a nurse, paid her $100 for a favor and followed her to the door of Gerald's room where he could hear his wife's sniffling.

There was plenty to sniff about. Even though she didn't have the full diagnosis, she could see bandages covering most of his body and a cast on his right arm and leg. He had a full neck collar from his chin to his chest to keep his head from moving.

The nurse entered the room, saw Lisa by his bedside, and began looking at Gerald's chart. She then walked to the other side of the bed so that Lisa was facing her, not the door, and asked, "Are you his wife?"

Lisa shook her head no.

"Girlfriend?"

Lisa nodded, not even realizing that she was affirming the question while wearing her wedding rings.

"Have you two been together long?"

Lisa nodded again, "About ten years."

"Wow, that's a long time. Does your husband know?"

Lisa's reaction was to move her left hand behind her to hide her wedding ring. Then from behind her, she heard, "He does now."

Shock overcame Lisa's face. She was mortified to see her husband standing there.

The nurse quickly left the room, but not before saying, "If I hear one raised voice, I'm throwing you both out."

They both nodded in agreement.

She asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I came over to see if I could entice my wife into taking an early lunch. Your boyfriend of ten years doesn't look too good."

Lisa winced at that comment, but she didn't say anything.

"What? Cat got your tongue? At least you're smart enough not to try and deny it, which is what I expected."

"It hasn't hurt you."

He scoffed, "You have no idea how badly I'm hurt. My entire world, our marriage, just imploded, and you tell me I'm not hurt. You're going to have to do better than that."

She said, "I've never neglected you. You always came first. I just spent time with Gerald while you were gone."

"And soon, you would have spent time with him in Austin while I was here? I'll bet you somehow arranged it so that you could spend more time in Austin since he's moving there."

The look on her face told him he was correct and that she was surprised he knew.

He said, "Maybe I know more than you think I do. Think about that. What I really, really want to know though is why. Did I mistreat you? No. Did our life together suck? No. Was I lazy about anything related to us or our life? No, again. I guess our marriage simply wasn't enough for you?"

"That's not true."

"Then tell me why?"

"I don't know. I just couldn't ever let him go, and your being gone made it easy."

He said, "Well, I'm about to make it a lot easier for you. I don't know how badly he wants you in his life, but I'm told he's going to need a lot of therapy. So, he's going to NEED you, or someone. I no longer need nor want you in my life. So, you may as well stay with him. As of right now, we're finished. I'll have my lawyer contact you."

As he turned to leave, she grabbed his wrist and said, "Wait. I'll never see him again. Please! I do need you. Don't you see? I still want and need you."

"But I no longer need you, Lisa." She was hurt by that statement. He continued, "I thought we were a team. My mistake. Being married meant we took on the world together, me and you, together, nobody else. If I had known that the two of us were a threesome, me, you, and shithead, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me. Wait! More than that. I wouldn't have even bothered dating you. What a waste of four years."

"That's not true. We've had four very good years. You must admit that. We can have more."

"No. I can't. All this time I thought it was just us. I thought it was me and you making decisions about our life together. I can see from the Austin travel that he was involved, too. I cannot have someone else in our marriage. I'm just not wired that way. Maybe you can find another sucker who can." He looked down at her hand and then back up at her face. He growled, "Let go of my arm, NOW."

She pleaded, "Zach, please stay. We're not done."

"Lisa, I've never laid a hand on a woman in my life, but if you don't let go of my arm right now, I swear to God, I'll break every one of your fingers so severely you'll never hold a violin again, much less play it."

She yanked her hand back as if she had just been burned. She never imagined he could say something like that to her. Of course, she had never seen him this angry either.

Zach turned to leave, and again she pleaded, "Please stay, Zach. I love you."

She heard his reply, "Apparently, not enough," as he walked out the hospital room. Lisa collapsed into the nearest chair and cried.

He didn't plan on having that confrontation until after a funeral in a few days, but now things were all screwed up. He went back to their apartment and grabbed two big suitcases, into which he quickly packed the things he needed.

On his way out the door, he left his wedding ring in the middle of the empty kitchen table to ensure that she would see it. He would have stayed with his brother or his parents, but he didn't want Lisa to harass them even more than he expected her to.

"Hmph," he scoffed. "Who's to say she's going to miss me at all."

He could check into a hotel, but then what. He decided to call Miriam, and she said for him to come, which meant he was heading to Austin for a few days. On the road, he called Sam, who was in a meeting and would call him back, which gave him a few minutes to think. What now?

He'd call his lawyer and have the papers delivered tomorrow. He needed to call his family to let them know where things stood. Mainly? He wanted to get away -- really away, like out-of-Texas away. Maybe a vacation, though it is hard to enjoy much of anything when your heart is full of anguish. Speaking of anguish, if he was going on a vacation, there was one thing he needed to do before he left Houston for a while.

When Sam called him back, they talked about his getting away for a while, and Sam agreed to make it happen.

He sent Mindy a text that he and Lisa talked, and she might want to have that conversation with Robert, soon.

Gabriella called and told him that he could stay with them. He thanked her for the generous offer but declined.

Surprisingly, or not, Lisa didn't call until the next day after she had been served. He didn't answer the phone. On his voicemail she said she was sorry and pleaded for him to come back and give her another chance. Ha. That wasn't happening.

His sister's family did their best to raise his spirits, and at times he almost felt human instead of numb and hollow on the inside. The time spent there was well used, in that it had allowed him to figure out his next steps.

Thankfully, the Houston fire inspection team ruled that the explosion was due to an old stove, connected to an old gas line in an old home. The owner should have had the line inspected before he started working on his house.

A few days later, he made the trip back to Houston to do that one last thing before he left town. At the same time as the other morning, he found the same orderly, smoking while taking his break. $100 later, they had an agreement, and Zach went inside.

When he saw the orderly come out of the room, he went in. Gerald was awake. Zach went to stand at the foot of the bed so he could be seen.

Zach asked, "Can you hear me, or do I need to write on this board?" He had brought a small dry-erase board with him just in case he needed one.

Gerald replied, "My ears are still ringing, but I can hear you."

Zach asked, "Do you know who I am?"

"I do."

Zach made a demonstration of turning off his phone, and said, "I'm not recording this. This is just between us. I'll take off my shirt to prove it if you need me to."

Gerald said, "That isn't necessary. It doesn't matter that much anyway."

Zach said, "I won't take much of your time. First, why? Why Lisa even after she was married?"

Zach watched him try to laugh but saw Gerald wince in pain as he did it. Good.

"Why? You've got to be kidding me. The 'why' is easy, which is because she's gorgeous and a great fuck, but I'm sure you know that. If her being married didn't bother her, it didn't bother me."

It was going to take every ounce of strength Zach had not to break his neck with his bare hands.

Zach asked, "Do you love her?"

"Hmph. No. I care for her, but we don't mean anything to each other. Not really."

One last question, "Why did you take her music away? She plays beautifully."

Gerald said, "Of course, she does. She has a real gift, but she relies too much on what others think of her music. If she isn't committed to playing regardless of what others think, then she shouldn't be playing. At least those I criticize still return to the stage and play. Lisa fell off her horse and didn't bother to get back on. If she's so easily swayed by others, she shouldn't bother."

Zach was stunned. "But you know what it means to her, and you didn't encourage her?"

"Look, I don't encourage anyone. If she wanted to quit, that was her prerogative."

"So even though she could have been great, to you she was just another fuck."

"Just another fuck?' Oh, no. As you may or may not know, she was a tremendous fuck, which is why I wanted to keep seeing her." The slimy bastard had the audacity to smirk at Zach.

Zach had the last laugh though when he said, "Enjoy your life in a wheelchair you bastard. I hope your dick never works again."

Zach could see the smirk leave Gerald's face as he began to wonder if that might be true.

It was Zach's turn to smirk, as he walked out the door. He had gotten what he wanted. Upon entering the visitors' lounge, he sat, and a few minutes later the orderly came in and handed him the small recorder. Zach verified that it picked up the conversation and left the hospital.

He had dinner with Sam and Gabriella, at their home. It was a very modest home, considering they owned a highly successful business that employed almost two hundred mostly technical people. When they could have both been driving Mercedes, they drove Toyotas instead.

They wanted to know how he was doing. He said it was nice not to be in jail and not to have needed his alibi. Otherwise, he felt empty.

Sam said, "your brother and sister-in-law must love you very much for him to take the risk of impersonating you while going through immigration."

Zach nodded, "They do. I'm lucky to have the family that I have." Then he looked at Gabriella and said, "including both of you."

They enjoyed their time together, but it was a melancholy mood since Zach would be leaving Houston, and no one knew for how long.

Before he left, he hugged Gabriella and said, "I love you, Mrs. Ortiz. Thank you both for everything."

"I love you too, Zachariah. Don't stay gone too long"

As he was leaving their house, Cassandra was arriving. They greeted each other pleasantly since they bumped into each other some at work. Her father was holding her mother, and she could see her mother struggling to hold back her emotions as Zach drove away.

Before he left, Zach also received a call from Robert. Mindy had told him everything. Robert apologized for Mindy's involvement and thanked Zach for encouraging, demanding actually, Mindy to tell him the truth. It would be hard for a while, but they were committed to correcting that mistake and improving their marriage.

He spent his last night in Houston at his parent's house. Daniel, Gina and their two kids joined them. As they were leaving for the evening, Daniel said, "Zach, I know you need to get away for a while, and I understand that, but you need to come back, brother. All of us are going to have a hard time with you gone, so promise me that you are coming back. Okay?"

"I promise. I'll be back. I just need a little time."

Zach hugged them, and they left.

______________

The next day would begin quite the adventure for Zach. He was to set up in Munich, Germany where the company that was to manufacture the new transducers was located. He would be able to be more hands-on as the testing and refinement of the two transducers progressed and the manufacturing capability developed. He would also be the Euro-based MRI engineer, and part-time sales, for MCDI. There was no shortage of maintenance work he could do on MRIs across Europe; Germany, especially, has a high concentration.

He spent the first week in a hotel while he looked for a short-term rental. He found a nice two-bedroom apartment near the town center, which allowed him to lose himself on many evenings amongst the crowds of businesspeople and tourists. It was mid-August and there were plenty of tourists around.

Once he settled in, he did take off for a few days and explored Munich and the greater Bavarian area. After a few weeks in his apartment, he had to wonder if he had made a mistake. He felt terribly, terribly alone. At times he would tell himself, that whether he stayed in Houston or wherever he was, he would have felt alone no matter what. Coupled with the loneliness was a heaping, helping of pain and hurt. He knew, or was told that it would eventually go away, but he wondered how people coped until then.

He would facetime his family back in Houston, but it was hard. They kept encouraging him to get out more. He did some but never really felt right. Something was missing. The people at the tech center where the transducer work was being performed were friendly enough, and a few invited him out with them from time to time. There was even a cute girl that worked there that went with them, but he just couldn't get up the courage to ask her out. Also, with that kind of indecision, he didn't want to be a dud of a date. At least his German was improving.

Just over two months after he arrived in Munich, was Octoberfest. He tried to get out and enjoy some of the festivals with the people where he worked, but his heart wasn't into it. To add insult to injury, his brother called him to let him know his divorce was final and his old apartment was empty. As instructed in the divorce, everything from the apartment was gone, except she left her violin behind. Lisa didn't fight the divorce or the proposed settlement in any way. From time to time Lisa would call and leave messages on Zach's voice mail that she was sorry, but he never returned her calls.

It seems that after six weeks in the hospital, Gerald was discharged, and he moved to Austin to start his teaching position there. With his damaged hearing, he would never critique another performance. Lisa received a transfer to Austin, also, where she was helping Gerald through his recovery. Zach shook his head at that information.

So, for several months, he simply existed while waiting for the pain to go away. He kept hoping that one day he would finally feel well enough to end his self-imposed exile.

Being in the center of western Europe, he was close enough that when he felt like it, on weekends, he would drive or fly to various European cities to see the sights, by himself. Instead of returning to Houston for Thanksgiving he went to Barcelona. He discouraged his family from coming because of the likelihood of his getting called away to repair an MRI.

He did the same for Christmas. Rather than being hopeful, the idea of being around everyone this year at Christmas was an anathema. Christmas in Munich was frigid in more ways than one. His family, including Sam & Gabriella, called him on Christmas day. Each woman was upset, and worried, when the calls ended. Silently, the men were also.

In January, approaching the five-month mark in Munich, he received a call from Sam. They normally reviewed the progress on the new transducer bi-weekly, but Sam had different plans for this call.

After their usual progress review, Sam started, "Zach, I want you to start lining up interviews for your replacement. It's time for you to come home. While I want you to stay in charge of the manufacturing of the new product, there are some other things I need for you to do back here."

"Sam, I'm not sure that I'm ready to come home."

"Gabriella has been pestering me for months to bring you back, and I've put her off as long as I can. You don't have a choice anymore."

Zach had to laugh at that. "I imagine she can be a rather persuasive woman when she sets her mind to it."

"Son, you have NO idea. You've only seen a small fraction of what she's capable of. I swear, I think I spend half my time trying to keep her focused on the charity that she helps, or else all she would do is meddle in the lives of her children or this company."

"Sam, you wouldn't have it any other way."

"You're right. I wouldn't. She does miss you, though. Seriously, you've helped us grow enough in that region to hire someone there full-time. I'd like for you to find your replacement. If it is going to take you a little longer to get back, then come visit her and your parents. I'm sure they miss you, too."

"You sound just like my brother."

"Great minds, and all that. Why don't you try to line up some in-person interviews for a month from now, and I'll send Frank to help you interview and make the final call on who to hire. If you'd like, I can speak with Demetrius and pull him in for a day."

Demetrius was the CEO of the company that would manufacture the new transducers, where Zach was currently being allowed to work when he wasn't out fixing MRIs or working with them on the plan to manufacture the new transducers.

"I'll make it happen, Sam."

"I know you will. Take care of yourself Zach."

______________

Zach worked with a local recruiting firm to help him line up and test several candidates from across Europe. Then, using Skype, he and Frank screened those that had the highest test scores. MCDI would bring four or five from that screening into Munich for the final interviews.

On Thursday morning, the week before the interviews were scheduled, Zach was working from one of the cubes at the manufacturing company in Munich when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.

"Hello, Zachariah."

Zach was surprised by who was standing there. "Cassie? I didn't know you were coming over. What brings you in?"

"Well, I could give you the official line, which is that I've been told to ask you to drive me to Vienna. I have meetings there early next week with our R&D partner before I come back here middle of next week.

"Of course, you and I both know that's complete bullshit. While my meetings are real, I could have flown into Vienna for a perfectly lovely and quite cold weekend by myself, even though we already have two rooms reserved for us. If you can't, or don't want to come with me to Vienna, I can catch a train, no problem. However....