Hit'n Those Notes Ch. 11

The author retains all rights to this original work of fiction.

Thursday, March 29th, 5:06 PM

Mom, Bill, Charles, and Kaley were all in my room from about 4:00 PM until just a few minutes ago. I kept saying I was going to be late, and they all know it is a major pet peeve of mine! I hate, hate, hate being late! I got them out of the room by leaving myself. Plenty of hugs and well wishes - which I love and appreciate from them - but I was late!

When I entered the stage area, I got several looks from those running the show. Karen Cole even came up to me and asked if I was okay. I told her I was fine, but got stuck with my family trying to wish me luck over the past hour. I assured her I was good to go.

I wondered if I sounded surer of that than I felt inside. Then it struck me: did everyone know about my confrontation with Jennifer? Is that why I'm getting the stink eye for being a couple minutes late? I hoped the world wasn't aware of what happened this afternoon. Augh! If they did, there was nothing I could do about it. Refocus, breathe...

Karen handed me the order for tonight's performances; I was up second. I looked the list over; Dana was leading off, I was next, then Lisa, Michelle, Carlie, and Wyatt ended the show. I looked at the order, thinking whoever put it together might have done so purposefully; Wyatt at any other position than last would blow everyone else's chance at even being considered, that is, if he was on like he was last night.

Then I wondered if this order the reverse of the how we placed last night? Sure, Wyatt won the night hands down. Carlie and Michelle--it could easily be a tossup for which of those two came in second and third. Lisa? Did she outperform Dana? Or me?

Okay, maybe this wasn't a reverse-order thing from last night. It still didn't change the fact that Wyatt performing in any other slot than last would hose the rest of us; be happy you're not following him. Grrr! Focus! It doesn't matter who's performing in what order! I've got one shot at this...

"There's an open chair in makeup with your name on it, Breanna," Karen said, taking the list she'd handed me back and interrupting my trying to read more into her list than was probably relevant.

"Oh, okay... Yeah, I'm performing second tonight. Cool. I'll get in there... Thank you, Karen..." I replied more nervously than I expected.

Augh! Reset! Try breathing, you goofball!

Thursday, March 29th, 6:44 p.m.

Getting through makeup and hair, then dressed, was much easier tonight than it had been last night. Maybe the unknown made it harder last night. Or maybe nerves played a bigger part of it last night? Tonight, getting ready was a breeze. Did it get easier for professionals performing nightly or on the road? This certainly was nothing like the amateur night performances I'd been doing over the past year. Nothing like those! Especially in the nerve department.

Was tonight easier because I knew what was coming? I'm seriously nervous, but somewhat okay with that. Why? What is my subconscious hiding or protecting me from? AUGH! Let it go! Concentrate on something else! Like, we're about to perform to a sold-out, seven hundred-plus crowd, and three of the six of us were going to get some serious accolades, and three of us would get a nice pat on the back for our efforts. Augh... Great pep talk Brea... Black plague much? Want a measles popsicle? Whoa! I am NOT focused AT ALL!

I hated the sitting around waiting and the idle chitchat going on in the green room with the other contestants. My mind was doing some serious wondering - from worry to senseless thoughts. Measles popsicle? Where the hell did that come from? Go over the lyrics; stage presence will be key; do some warm-up vocal exercises... Concentrate!

I looked across the room at Dana and Wyatt talking quietly - what about those two? Both had been sitting here the longest. Why didn't they look nervous? What did it take for them to get ready? Probably less than thirty minutes. They just needed some light makeup so as not to look pale on stage, a quick comb-out, and then to get dressed. Heck, Wyatt didn't even need hair - he was wearing a damn cowboy hat!

They certainly coasted through getting ready for tonight. Men! Of course they likely knew what it was like for us women. I couldn't help but feel like I overdid it and over thought what I was wearing for my performance tonight. Why did I think copying Linda Perry's look from her video for 'What's Up?' was a good idea?

I had it all: the distressed Doc Martin boots in black, not brown (my own pair), the white tube socks peeking out from above them, the heart-patterned white boxers, a black t-shirt, a gaudy light house coat over it all, a nose ring and assorted jewelry, extremely red neon lipstick, a ratty dreadlocks wig, and of course that signature steampunk grunge-like leather hat with goggles, made popular at the time by the video. This look would amp up the vibe from the song and I hoped it was going to work, be well received. Would people be wondering if this was a costume contest? Grrr!!!

Carlie was the only one who knew what I was singing just by looking at me when I entered the green room. The others had heard of the song after I told them, but being as young as they were, they had no idea what the video for the song looked like. Hell, I was as young as most of these people, but I had seen plenty of videos for classic songs like 'What's Up?'. Geesh! Do these people appreciate all music or just their little corner of it?

Carlie, being the senior in the group, explained how she knew what I was trying to accomplish and that she liked my song choice. I think she was being earnest, but a few others who commented made me wonder - was singing this song a mistake? This song was popular before I was born; was that going to matter? Why did any other song seem like a better choice right now? God, help me...

Vibes? Song vibes, people vibes... Why was I so nervous? The vibe between Wyatt and I is totally good. Not awkward at all - at least that's how I felt. We exchanged some small talk, and he told me he was singing Tom Petty's 'Free Fallin', and true to form, it would have country roots laid on it. He was even going to play guitar! The rest of us were so screwed... If the band was on and he did half as good a job singing Petty as he did last night singing the Eagles, you might as well make out that check to him right now.

He acted interested in my "classic" (his words) song choice. I was pretty sure his song was released years before mine, and I made sure to point that out. The banter was a good stress-relieving moment, and we got a good laugh out of ribbing each other about whose song would be lost on a younger audience.

Could I date him? No, he was serious 'friend' material, not a love interest. Friends did grow into lovers, though. No, there's no way I'd move to Nashville. I wondered what it would be like to sing a duet with him. We'd probably kill!

Dana? Short of 'Hi, how are you?' - we barely spoke. Tense? No, but is there something strange going on? Yup! I had more sidebar conversations with Lisa, Carlie, and Michelle - with fifty times more content and genuine feelings and interest - than I had with Dana. Was it me, or was it Dana? Was I putting out vibes toward him that said, 'Stay away...'? Had he talked to Tyler? Fuck, I don't care! Not going there... Refoc...

"Dana, Breanna... You two are up. Let's get you mic'd up," a stagehand said from the green room entrance. He walked over to the TV and flipped it on; everyone stopped talking and was watching him. I just wanted to get this over with and throw my nervous energy toward performing anything, not sitting here aimlessly thinking about stupid shit!

It's time to do this! I stood, as did everyone else who was sitting, and Dana and I got hugs and well wishes from everyone. Dana even wished me luck. I returned the sentiment, but inside I was hoping I could beat him! I can beat you! I WILL beat you! Breathe...

Thursday, March 29th, 7:01 p.m.

When Leza Howell took the stage, the applause was thunderous and would not stop! Even with the IEM's in my ears, I couldn't hear anything but the roar. It was energizing and frightening at the same time.

From where I was standing off-stage, I could see her waving, bowing, and raising her hands to quiet the audience. Was she nervous at all? Did being front and center give her any anxiety at all? I couldn't emcee an event like this. I'm not even sure how I could sing in front of a crowd, and it didn't tip me over. Singing was different, right?

Eventually the applause died down, and Leza jumped into a speech extolling the event as validation for all, especially those who were Trans. I got serious chills and goose bumps when she exclaimed, "We are valid, and we will not be erased! Our rights won't be taken without a fight!"

The audience went crazy again, and after sixty seconds, they calmed down enough for her to continue. She explained the competition, including the twenty-thousand dollar first place prize, ten thousand dollars for second, and five thousand for third, named all of us in the finale, and ended her announcement by announcing the first finalist, Dana Warnick. The applause was insane again, and I watched Dana walk center stage full of confidence.

I can beat you, and I will beat you tonight...

When the music began playing, it took me a couple seconds to fully recognize what he was going to be singing: - Justin Bieber', 'What Do You Mean?'. When Dana started singing, my heart sank.

Thursday, March 29th, 7:08 p.m.

The audience's reaction to his performance was no less spirited than that given to Wyatt after his performance last night. Dana could have put a mannequin of Bieber on stage and sang from behind a curtain, and the audience would have thought Bieber was doing an impromptu concert for this Transgender Day of Visibility event.

Combine his obvious singing ability with his ability to work the stage, his dancing (the man could dance), and his actually sitting on the edge of the stage and singing to the front row full of women, who went bat shit crazy, and he absolutely put himself in the top three with that performance.

My nerves, anxiety, and even some dread were trying their best to come up from my stomach. Breathe...

I tried humming warm-up exercises, shaking my hands at my side, and bending at the waist a couple of times for good measure - all in an attempt to re-center myself. The applause went on and on - very distracting.

Leza Howell was on stage saying something, then I heard in my EIMs someone saying something. I looked around and caught a wave from Brian at the sound board.

"You good?"

I nodded and gave Brian two-thumbs up.

"You got this... Go rock them," he said, smiling from across the stage.

There was no way he could hear me, so I again gave him a thumbs up and a smile. I heard my name being announced by Leza and felt a pat on my back from the stagehand standing next to me, letting me know I was on. I started the long walk towards my condenser microphone, and the applause was like walking into gale-force winds. This is insane! Like nothing I could even capture in words. The rush, the energy... Breathe...

When I got to the microphone and held it, the applause began to wane, and I heard Brian count down from three, two,... The music began, and the applause faded. The song's intro is pretty distinct and long - twenty-eight seconds long, to be exact. Distinctive, like my outfit. It was too late to switch songs. Would they know this song? I looked around the theaters and smiled. I can do this! Breathe...

Two, eight, dozens, then hundreds of flash lights on cell phones lit up the crowd and began swaying left and right during the intro. OMG! They feel it! They know... Go!

"Twenty-five years and my life is still Trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination..."

When I got to the part of the verse, 'What's going on?!', the audience was fully engaged and singing with me, not so quietly either. It totally lifted me, and I could feel my heart swell with joy. They sang the chorus with me and quieted down for me to nail the, "Ooo... Ooo, Ooo, Ooooo...", before the next verse, which required power and punch, "And I try, oh, my God, do I try... I try all the time... In this institution... And I pray, oh, my God, do I pray... I pray every single day... For revolution!" The growl and rasp were pitch perfect, and I knew I was in the zone!

The audience was right there still, singing along, lights from phones swaying in a sea of seats in the darkness of the theater. By the time I hit the second chorus, I went for it, walking with the microphone to the edge of the stage and holding it out for the audience, and they did not disappoint. It was DEAFENING - they were singing along! I let them get one leg of the final chorus in before pulling the microphone back and hitting the right tone, notes, and power to bring the song to a close.

It all ended so quickly, "Twenty-five years and my life is still... Trying to get up that great big hill... Of hope for a destination..." softly, but no one heard it due to the applause.

That row of women swooning over Dana at stage side rushed the stage, and since I was standing right there, I walked the line of them, exchanging high-fives! When I finished, Leza Howell was saying something about me, and the applause and chants brought on those chills and goose bumps again. I bowed deep, waved, and headed off stage.

"Jesus! That was fucking amazing!" It was Brian in my IEM's.

I smiled towards Brian at the sound booth, waved, and made my way through the backstage maze to the green room. I was congratulated by everyone, getting hugs and pats on the back as soon as I entered the room. The talk revolved around the crowd, how the song moved them, and how the volume rose when I held the microphone out for them to sing.

Lisa told me I would certainly make it in the top three. Wyatt said I was the one to beat, and that microphone move was cheating. He was kidding, of course, and we laughed about it. Even with the laughter, I'm pretty sure his competitive nature was bristling a little; maybe he was a little worried now. I smiled a huge smile at no one in particular. I don't think I've ever felt like this! No doubts, no questioning; I never wanted this feeling to go away.

Thursday, March 29th, 7:51 p.m.

I was anxious for this competition to be over. I'm pretty sure everyone else was feeling the same way. The tension had taken over the room, even after the stress of performing was past all of us. It was hard to tell who was leading this thing - so many on-point performances! Everyone was still polite and supportive, but we were pretty much done - put a fork in us already!

The PBS people and with their cameras in our faces - SO OVER THAT SHIT! Leza Howell did her best between performances to get a couple softball questions thrown at each of us and not be annoying, but she was annoying. We all knew this was part of this show, but it didn't make it any easier trying not to look annoyed while coming down from the high we had just moments after performing and getting the PBS inquisition.

I wasn't going to miss PBS, and I hoped they didn't edit any of us in a bad light. Yeah, we were so done with this competition - no doubt about it...

Lisa, Michelle, and Carlie all nailed their performances, and by my scorecard, I was second behind Carlie. Who was third? I didn't care; Michelle sang Ariana Grande's 'No Tears Left to Cry', and it was perfect for her. Did she beat Dana? My bias right now said, 'Yup!'.

So if Wyatt won this thing, that means we all slid one place down - I could possibly pull off third. I doubted I did better than Carlie... I was sure I beat Dana, though.

The green room quieted down as Wyatt began strumming his guitar on the TV. The audience on cue exploded again, and that caused Wyatt to look over his shoulder toward the band and nod, meaning he wanted to cruise through the intro a second time. Smart, because the first couple lines of the song would have been drowned out by the applause. Did the audience know what was coming?

Yup, that was evidenced by the tiny lights shining from cell phones in the audience swaying back and forth. Dana didn't get that treatment, but everyone else did. I know I beat him; I know it!

When Wyatt did begin singing, the whole room sighed. Not in a mean way or even anything audible or perceptible, but you could feel it. We all pretty much knew that whatever position we thought we were in, add one to that because Wyatt just knocked us all down a notch.

Good for Wyatt; this was a singing competition, and everyone did their best to win it; he was just a little bit better than the rest of us. I wasn't upset that he was likely going to win this thing; I just wished I could sing as well as he was right now. I could be happy with third place and the five grand prize.

I smiled, enjoying the rest of Wyatt's performance. I even caught myself humming along.

Thursday, March 29th, 8:02 p.m.

When Wyatt returned to the green room, he was mobbed. It was actually pretty heartwarming, like we were all part of a super close-knit family. He was modest about his performance and the assumption by everyone that he'd just won the entire thing. Everyone's attitudes lifted a little, likely because we were finally DONE! The only thing left was to see where we all placed in it.

Besides Wyatt's voice obviously being the deciding factor, his rearrangement of each of the songs to fit his country persona made him the only one of us to play an instrument while performing. That had to weigh in his favor, even though it was a singing competition. He walked the stage, singing into a wireless microphone, playing that guitar, and looking very Garth Brooks-like. I could barely play the piano; there was no way I would have attempted to sing some song while trying to single-finger bang out the right keys. I wouldn't have made the first cut!

"Okay, let's go..." a stagehand called from the doorway.

Everyone fell silent, and there were a few quick hugs between those waiting to hear their fate. I hugged Wyatt and whispered in his ear, "You totally deserve this."

"You do too, Brea," he replied, squeezing me a little tighter.

I was happy there wasn't any awkwardness between us.

"Okay, let's go soak up some applause...," I said and kissed his cheek.

Thursday, March 29th, 8:14 p.m.

"Who won," Leza Howell prodded the audience playfully.

Names were shouted, and they all melted into one long jumble of screams and howls. The six of us standing anxiously on stage could only stare out into the dark and smile. I could feel Wyatt squeeze my hand a few times. I looked towards him and shouted, "You nervous?"

He laughed, shaking his head, 'Yes'.

"I have... Yes, I know I love them too," Leza played with the crowd. "I have the official results right here! Let's get to it."

Applause rang out, as did chants for Wyatt and Carlie, and I might have even heard my name. I was having serious heart palpitations, and I could feel the sweat under my dreadlocks wig. We watched as Leza opened the envelope handed to her by Karen Cole.

"In third place... Dan Warnick!"

The audience went ballistic, cheering, clapping, and whistling; it was ear-shatteringly LOUD! The front-row women who'd swooned over Dana rushed the stage as he took center stage after accepting an envelope, which likely contained his check. He bowed and waved, clapping back to his front-row admirers clamoring to get his attention.

My heart sank after hearing his name, and a small lump formed in my throat. I was sure I had outperformed him; I sang better, and I know I did. Sure, he danced and moved all over the stage, but this was a vocal competition!

I felt Wyatt squeeze my hand, but I didn't look at him. I didn't want to cry, but it was taking everything I could to hold back the tears.