All Comments on 'Hobbs Hollow'

You just get better, amaze me more. Another, please. Randi.

Without talking about basic grammar, what the fuck did you do with the dialogue tags? Commas, dude, not periods, when it's a he said/she said situation.

that the author had taken the energy he used, in writing this tale, and devoted it to producing the next chapter of "Lost and Found." You want my reasons? Fine!

First, this story should have been submitted under the Sci-Fi/Fantasy or Erotic Horror genres. Out of five long pages of plodding story, there are only 4 or 5 extremely brief references to the fact that the protagonist (Rinaldo) is schtupping Madison, and that she's his half-sister, to qualify it for submission under Incest/Taboo. The rest of the story is "Cthulhu meets Monty Python," but with none of the expected hilarious gag-lines or the true sense of Lovecraftian horror.

Second, the tale wandered all over the landscape, and wound up feeling much more like a pair of characters (Rinaldo and Madison) in search of a story - with the author looking to see how many extraneous "references" he could shoe-horn into the text, from his 'library" of famous fantasy/horror/sci-fi books and films.

I found it interesting that one of the minor characters used mushrooms to try and poison someone. I couldn't help but wonder what sort of 'shrooms the author was tripping, on, when he came up with the idea for this attempt at a story.

The truly amazing thing, in all of this, was that Randi liked it. I've read her stories, and she's got it over this author, like a roof, in spades!

In my defense, I write for fun and I added the cinematic references as Easter eggs for the reader to see if they could pick them out. I am sorry if it was a little rushed. I began it late and I'll admit i should have started earlier and looked it over more. Thanks for your honesty. LB

I'm not worried about spelling or grammar , fuck those guys, I'm looking for something to grab my attention in the first couple of paragraphs, keep up the good work and the stories cumming

Well done with this one..you are getting better and better, like BlackRandl said

what a great story,,,, I hope tori is ok,,, time to use some holly water on everyone.... I bet they all are possessed and dead..

Yo I liked the story I dont care what any one says. This story is great. To all the naysayers out there you think ur better prove it write a story that's better. Doing that is way more constructive than the shite talking. Anyway lostboy keep up the good work;)

-M_GREY

great story more please