Holding Nothing Back

Eric always believed they were as close as they were in spite of their differences due to having grown up without a mother. Their mom had died when the girls were just three years old and they had become unbelievably close with each other and with their father who doted on them to no end. Eric attributed a large part of Bradley's willingness to please to her strong desire to make her daddy happy no matter what. Yes, Amanda was rebellious, but she still loved her dad very much. Although she didn't go visit him as often as Bradley did, she still did her best to be there for him. Yet no matter how close Bradley might be with her dad, this was a topic she obviously could never discuss with him. He was still a little surprised she hadn't at least mentioned it to Amanda.

That was her fantasy and he'd be happy to go along, but today was his birthday and he was going to share his last and only secret with his beautiful wife tonight at dinner.

Bradley always tried to wear the kinds of things Eric liked but that was especially true on his birthday. She was taking him to a nice restaurant downtown and had saved up for the evening out and for a new outfit she knew he'd like.

"So what do you think?" she asked him as she came out of the bathroom after putting on her makeup.

"Damn! You look amazing!" And she did. She was wearing a very thin, light blue colored sweater that showed off her gorgeous sweater puppets in in black, lacy bra in a very seductive way. She was also wearing his favorite short, black skirt and a pair of black heels. She also wore the string of pearls that once belonged to her late mother along with a set of matching earrings.

"Jesus! Can I just fuck you now?" he said only half joking.

"Well...you could but you'd ruin my makeup and we'd miss our reservations, but if you'd rather do me now, that can be arranged," she told him coyly as she smiled her perfect smile at him.

"That's a very tempting offer, but as long as I can have you for desert, I guess I can wait. You really do look gorgeous, honey," he told her honestly.

Bradley never heard those kinds of things from her ex, and she loved hearing them from Eric. In fact, she craved them. She even lived for them. With Eric, she could give and give and give while knowing full well she would get and get and get without having to ask. He was not only free with his words, he did all of the little things she'd wanted all of her life. The flowers, the love notes, the poems, the surprise gift they couldn't afford. He was truly everything she'd ever wanted and more and that made her all the more willing to be that for him, as well.

"Thank you," she said. "I love it when you say nice things." She moved closer and put her arms around him and said, "I love you with all my heart, Eric Phillips. I know it's cliche but...you complete me."

The scent of her perfume mingled with her shampoo was intoxicating. The thought of it mixed with something else sent him over the edge. "Don't get your hopes up too high," he told himself.

Then he said to Bradley, "You know I feel the same way about you, right?"

At dinner, she sat very close to him so she could keep her left hand on his crotch during the entire time. It was very subtle but very nice. After dinner, they were having a celebratory glass of champagne when Bradley said, "So what are we toasting to and what is your special request this year?"

"To a lifetime of happiness," he suggested.

"I'll drink to that!" she said as they touched glasses and took a sip. She sat the flute down and pressed down harder on his semi-hard cock. "So...what will I be doing for you this year, my love?" she teased as she stroked him over the material of his pants.

"Well," he began. He was going to play the 'you didn't tell me something, either card' right then and there. "Remember when you told me about your deepest secret?"

Bradly squeezed gently and smiled. "Yes. Of course I remember. I can't believe how hard it was to tell you that. Is that your request by any chance? To...you know...let me do that?"

"Damn it! Why did she say that?" he asked himself.

He looked at her and said, "Will you be disappointed if it's something else?"

"Of course not! You can ask me anything. Just the thought of doing it—whatever 'it' is— for you is very exciting. So...tell me, okay?"

He could see from her eyes she meant it when she said she wasn't disappointed. That gave him some encouragement.

"Okay, well, here's the thing."

She stroked him harder and said, "Yes...the thing is...."

"I've never told you about this, either, and like you, I'm a little concerned about how you might react. So if you say 'no' then I promise you I won't be upset."

"I'm not going to say 'no', honey. I'm going to say 'yes' no matter what it is," she whispered in his ear as she played with his now rock-hard cock.

"Well, we'll see about that when I tell you." He cleared his throat and said, "For as long as I can remember, I've had this huge thing for...I mean, it really turns me on when an attractive woman...."

"Dresses like this?" she said trying to anticipate what he might say.

"Well, that's true. That really is my favorite look and it's sexy as hell...."

"But...?" she asked knowing a 'but' was coming.

"But...there's more. What I like, what I fantasize about, what I want to ask for is...."

"Just ask me, sweetheart. I'll do it. I promise."

Eric took a deep breath, looked right at her again and said, "I am hugely turned on...immensely turned on by attractive women who...smoke."

Bradley stopped rubbing and stroking and said, "Cigarettes?"

Eric felt crestfallen as he said, "Yes, cigarettes."

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that," she said. She pulled her hand back to her own lap and said, "I've never heard of anyone ever say that smoking was a sexual turn on. Maybe I'm just naive, but is this some kind of big deal I've just never heard of?"

"I can't say how big it is or isn't compared to other fetishes like wearing leather or latex or even bondage, but there are plenty of sites on the net devoted to it. There are thousands of videos of pretty girls smoking and all kinds of stories about girls and women who smoke. So I can't say how big it is relative to other fetishes, but I can assure you I'm not the only guy who thinks it's sexy."

"I had no idea. Honestly, I don't know if that's something I can do or not, honey. I've never once even tried it before. Not even when Amanda started smoking in high school."

"It's no big deal," Eric forced himself to say. He was pretty sure this would be her response and he couldn't blame her. It was a fantasy but unlike anal sex with your spouse, this one had real implications for her health. He felt guilty for even asking.

"Hey, let's pretend I didn't even mention this, okay? There are a lot of other things I want to do and I'll suggest something else."

"No, wait. I'm not saying 'no' I just need to make sure I understand what you want me to do. Are you asking me to actually start smoking and smoke every day or what? Because I think I could light one and smoke it if I don't have to inhale."

"First of all, I would never ask you to start smoking. I just hoped maybe it might be something you could do on special occasions. You know, like this."

"So occasions—plural? Not just one time?"

"Um...well...that's what I was hoping for but it's okay. Really. You can just forget about it. It was pretty selfish of me to even ask."

"Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you the one who told me that everything we ask for is, at some level, selfish? We don't need sex to survive so anything we want is unnecessary. But that doesn't mean it still isn't important. I can't imagine living without sex and I want us to keep doing the things we do...and expanding on them where we can. So you of all people should know that asking for what you want—at least with me—is not selfish. I think that's probably something I could do as long as I don't have to inhale."

She could tell by the way the corner of his mouth turned up, that wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Talk to me, Eric. Tell me what you're thinking."

"It's just that well, the turn on comes from watching a girl inhale and it's really obvious when she doesn't. It looks phony and it's not the same. So now I feel pretty silly for bringing this up and I'm going to drop it. I'm not upset, either. It's just best we move on."

"Well, okay, if that's what you want. Just know you can talk to me about this anytime you want. We can even role play during sex. You know, I can pretend to be doing exactly what you want. I know that isn't fulfilling your wish, but it might be fun. Can we try that sometime?"

Eric put on his best face and said, "Sure! That would be great. That sounds like a perfect compromise!"

He thought he had her fooled but Bradley knew. He was hurt. He'd opened himself up to her like she'd done to him and she'd shot him down while he'd been totally and immediately supportive. But there was no way she was going to start smoking. The last thing she thought of before they finished their champagne and headed home was, "I wonder how difficult it would be to learn to be able to smoke just one cigarette for him a few times a year. It couldn't be that bad, could it?" The thought made her shudder and not in a good way so she shelved it for the time being knowing she'd have to address it sooner rather than later.

Neither of them mentioned his special request for a full month. One evening Bradley finally said, "Eric? This is killing me. Can't we at least talk about it?"

"Talk about what, sweetie?" he asked genuinely unsure what she meant.

"You know, your birthday request. You said you'd come up with something else but you haven't said a word about it and I feel terrible. The whole thing was my idea and yet you still haven't had your special wish."

Eric was studying, as usual, when she brought this up. He closed the textbook and said, "It's really not a big deal. But there is something I want to talk to you about."

Bradley snuggled up next to him and said, "Okay. I'm listening."

"I'm finishing up my second year of college and in two years I'm gonna have to find a job. But I'm majoring in psychology. There aren't any jobs for people with a BA in that field."

"Well, I have faith in you, honey. I'm sure you'll find something. And I can keep working, too, you know."

"But I want you to be able to paint again, baby. You put all that on hold for me and I love for it, but that was your dream."

She put her arm in his and said, "You're my dream. Painting will always be there. Someday maybe I'll get back to it. For now, all I want to do is be with you."

He put his arm around her shoulder and said, "Well, I've been thinking. How would you feel about me going back in the Army? As an officer, I mean."

She looked up at him and said, "Scared. That's how I'd feel. Is this something you think you really want to do?"

"Maybe. Looking back, I have to say I really enjoyed being around the guys. Fighting wars wasn't a lot of fun but the guys were great. And I'd never looked to see how much commissioned officers make but I'd be starting out at around $4,000 a month plus either free housing on post of a generous allowance to live off post. Plus money for food plus free medical and dental and other stuff."

"Are you serious? I thought guys in the Army lived on food stamps."

"Some of the junior enlisted guys do if they're married and have kids but new officers make more money than enlisted guys with 10-15 years in and after ten years we'd be making over $6,000 a month plus all the other stuff. In 20 years it's be over ten grand a month."

"Jeez. I had no idea. But you'd be gone all the time," she said.

"Not all the time. Not even most of the time. In fact, unless there is another war, I'd be home most of the time. Sure, there are deployments and stuff, but we mostly worked from 7:30am until 4:30pm Monday through Friday when we were in garrison—not at war or deployed."

They discussed the pros and cons the rest of the night and Bradley found herself warming to the idea. She had an uncle who told her dad several times how much he regretted not staying in for 20 years.

Bradley wasn't all about money, but short of Eric becoming a doctor or some skilled professional, he really wouldn't have a marketable skill at 27 when he finished college. This would ensure them a very comfortable future. The one short-term downside would be he would have to go to something called Advanced Camp for six weeks this summer at Fort Lewis, which was down by Olympia.

As much as she hated the idea of her husband being gone that long, she realized it might just give her the opportunity she needed to make good on her promise. Around 10pm, she told him she would support him if that's what he wanted to do.

The next day he say the Army ROTC commander on campus and signed up. Because he had four years of active-duty service, skipping the first two years of ROTC classes was a moot point. He had a little over a month before his ROTC class would leave for training and that worked out perfectly with school and Bradley's part-time job.

___________________________________

"I'm gonna miss you so much, honey," she told him as they kissed goodbye. She'd never seen him in his uniform before and she had to admit he looked very handsome.

"I'm gonna miss you too, baby. I'll write you every day and call as often as they let me, okay? And it's just six weeks. I'll be back in August and we can take a week and go on a small vacation."

They kissed goodbye again as Eric got on the bus with the other underclassmen/cadets and waved goodbye to one another. Once Bradley had had a good cry, she picked up her cell phone and punched in the number. It rang twice before her sister picked up. "Hey Brad! What's the haps?" Amanda said in her typically perky voice.

"I need your assistance," she told her. "I made a promise to Eric and I need some help with it. Can we get together tomorrow?"

The next day Amanda spent the evening with her younger sister. Well, younger by a whole seven minutes. They didn't get together much since she and Eric got married and Bradley forgot what it was like to have a best friend around other than Eric.

Amanda was skeptical at first, but once she was sure this is something Bradley really wanted to do, she was more than happy to help out. For the next six weeks, they got together as often as they possibly could and Bradley found herself no longer dreading her sister's help but almost looking forward to it.

"So...Eric's coming home tomorrow. Are you excited?" Amanda asked knowing it was almost rhetorical.

"Oh, my God! I haven't been sleeping well this last week and last night I barely slept at all. I am SO excited!"

"And do you think you're ready?" Bradley didn't need to ask, "With what?" Both of them knew exactly what she meant.

"I think so. It hasn't been easy, but I know I'm at a point where I can at least do this for him once in a while. And, Manda? I could never have done this without you. Thank you for being understanding with my crazy request, but it is for Eric."

"No problem, Brad. I'm glad to help out. Just be careful. If you practice too much you'll find yourself hooked on them like me."

"No worries there. I don't hate it anymore but it's definitely not something I'm going to do more than occasionally."

"Okay. Well, good luck then and I have to tell you that as opposed as I am to ever getting married, if I were to tie the knot, I'd be looking for a guy just like Eric. You really hit the jackpot, Brad."

"Yes, I did," she said wistfully. "I most definitely did."

That night she masturbated hoping it would help her fall asleep but it only made her want him more. She diddled herself two more times and somewhere around 3am finally drifted off to sleep. When she woke up, it was after 10am and Eric was due home at one.

She got up, showered, got dressed in her sexiest skirt and sweater, and poured herself a cup of coffee. At noon, she headed over to the ROTC building on campus and waited. At exactly 1pm (or 1300 as she'd learned), the big silver bus came rolling up to the curb. Moments later, the cadets who'd graduated filed off the bus and fell into military formation. The ROTC commander congratulated all them and welcomed them back before giving them the command, "Dismissed!"

When he did, the men and women in formation cheered loudly and threw their hats into the air. It took her several moments, but Bradley finally spotted Eric amid the sea of green camouflage. "Eric! Over here!"

He grabbed his duffel bag and threw it over his shoulder as he ran toward her. He dropped it next to her and threw his arms around her. "I am SO glad to see you! I missed you so much," he told her. He stroked her long, dark hair which looked amazing.

"I missed you, too, Eric. My God, I love you SO much. Come on, let's get your things and go home. I have a surprise for you."

Eric had to take care of some paperwork and turn in some gear so Bradley had to learn what "hurry up and wait" meant as she sat waiting for him for the next two hours. By the time they got home it was after 4 o'clock.

"I know it's early, but are hungry?" she asked.

"I'm starving!" he told her. "What's for dinner?"

"Roasted chicken and potatoes with fresh vegetables. And I have a nice bottle of white wine to go with it."

"Perfect!" he told her. "You look so beautiful, honey," he said as he put his arms around her while she got things ready.

"Don't start, okay? If you do, I won't be able to stop until I've had a nice, long fucking and I have something special to show you after dinner. Then you can fuck me," she said with that bright smile of hers.

"Okay, fine. If I have to wait, then I have to wait. But this better be good. I haven't seen you in six weeks and I think I'm seeing white out my eyeballs."

"I don't have any of that to build up inside of me, but I can assure you I am as desperate for your fat cock as you are for my wet pussy."

He loved when she talked like that and he told her so. "Well, I'm hoping you'll like something even more after dinner."

"Not even a hint?" he said as he slid his hands up her body and squeezed her soft tits gently.

Bradley moaned loudly and warned, "Don't you dare do that again." She pulled away from him then gave him a look that told him she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

An hour later, dinner was ready. He told her story after story about the things that went on at Advanced Camp and she alternated between laughing and wincing. "I'm glad you're the soldier. I don't think I would do very well there," she told him.

After dinner she said, "So how about we go out onto the patio and have a glass of wine. It's nice and warm outside but not hot."

"I'd rather go to the bedroom," he said as he pulled her close and kissed her.

"Give me fifteen minutes first. Then you can take me to bed. I promise."

Eric looked down at his watch and said, "Okay, fifteen minutes. Time starts now."

Bradley picked up her wine glass and her purse and stepped outside. Eric helped her with her chair and sat down himself.

"So what's the big surprise?" he asked her.

"First a toast," she said. She raised her glass and said, "To fulfilling promises."

Eric looked confused but agreed to the toast and repeated it.

"So...while you were away I spent a lot of time with Amanda."

Eric smiled and said, "Let me guess. She introduced you to some girl and she's going to be the one to fulfill your dream of being with another woman."

Bradley furrowed her brow and said, "No, silly. This is about fulfilling your fantasy. Close your eyes, okay?"

Eric gave her a quizzical look but said, "Okay. I'll play along."

Bradley opened her purse and removed the half-empty pack of Virginia Slims menthol lights and the lighter Amanda had given her then said, "So while you were gone, I asked Amanda to teach me something so that I could do what I promised on your last birthday. Are you ready?"