All Comments on 'Holiday'

You jump rapidly (and apparently 'randomly') from third person narration to first person (PoV) narration. It's distracting. Even more distracting is that your Point of View jumps around from person to person. I get a strong impression that you wrote, edited, re-wrote and re-edited, re-re-wrote and re-re-edited this story, changing the narrative each time, to the point that you ended up with this monster. Clean it up. Keep it simple. And learn from constructive criticism to avoid repeating mistakes.