Holly and Snowflakes Pt. 01

She reached up and tucked her hair behind her pointed elf ear as she got closer to him. He had taken off his jacket and baseball cap and was sucking on a candy cane, the hooked end sticking out of his mouth, his hair mussed from having ran his fingers through it, giving him a completely relaxed looked. But that wasn't what made her almost fall over her own feet; it was combination of seeing the bulk of his body without his jacket, the broadness of his shoulders even when weighed down by the necessary burden of his vest, the size of his biceps in his long-sleeved shirt that had to be tailored to fit him, the narrowness if his hips and the way that the material of his duty trousers was pulled taut over his groin from shoving his hands in his pockets.

Nevertheless, she had to wonder why he was still single, even though she wasn't looking to get into another relationship herself, things happened, and she was so glad that he was. But how could anyone be a part of his life when he was still holding onto pieces from the past? Would he ever be able to move on, let someone else into his life? She wasn't going to let it discourage her because, even though she had only known him for not even two hours, she felt her heart slam against her ribcage whenever he looked her direction. When she finally managed to stop in front of him and tip her head back, gazing up into his eyes, she felt her stomach twist up into a knot. There was just something about him. "I always feel like this afterwards," she said. "I wondered if you were coming back. I can't thank you enough for driving me here."

Gabe looked down at her. She was just so filled with joy, and it was a happiness that he wanted to feel again, needed to feel again, but he would never be able to until he faced the pain that held him back. "Sorry, I couldn't go back with you. Here, in a hospital, I have a hard time—" He looked off in the distance trying to find the courage to tell her what he had never told another living soul but when he looked back down at her, into her bright green eyes, he knew that he could tell her anything and she wouldn't think any less of him. "I know what it's like to lose a child on Christmas Eve. How much it just tears you apart inside, how hard it is to move on with your life when—" He never got a chance to finish his heartfelt explanation because she flung herself towards him, knocking him off balance and back against the wall and he had to wrap one strong arm around her and brace the other one against the edge of the station to keep them from tumbling to the floor.

Holly gasped. When his words struck her, they hit her hard. If she had known... Without even thinking, without any provocation, she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around the bulk of his torso, heedless to everything attached to his vest that was pressing into her chest and breasts. She tried to hold back the tears, but one slipped from the corner of her eye anyway. "I'm so sorry, Gabe. Had I known, I-" She wrapped her arms around him tighter, hugging him as tightly as she could, completely understanding why he had been so distant on the drive to the hospital, fully understanding why he had left the city, what had torn his marriage apart.

She wanted to hold him tight, ease the anguish that he was feeling inside and at least try to alleviate the pain that he carried around with him every day for the past five years, but she knew there was nothing she could do other than be there for him. And she had a feeling that he was one to suffer alone. She lifted her head and looked up at him, up into his eyes that were clouded over with pain; pain that she had brought up again, a grief that she hoped would start to heal inside him. She stood on tip toe, her mouth a scant inch from his, feeling his breath upon her lips, almost tasting the mint that lingered, and breathing in the faint woodsy scent of his aftershave. Just. One. Kiss. Even if it was just to comfort him. "Gabe-"

He clasped her slender shoulders in both of his hands, nudging her back just a few inches, and looked down at her, into her eyes, and lower still to her full, bright red painted lips just begging to be kissed. He could feel her breath on his lips, a soft whisper against his skin. She was so fragile, yet so strong whereas he was just the opposite and he needed her strength, needed her but he doubted that she remotely even felt the same. Or did she? He would never know unless he kissed her. And he wanted to kiss her, right here, right now but he couldn't, he didn't dare, because with all the whirlwinds of emotions twisted up inside him at this very moment, he wouldn't be able to stop at just one kiss. Because God knows he needed to feel the touch of a woman again, feel that emotional connection once again, to feel love and to be loved. He swallowed, feeling his Adam's apple bob in his throat and, with every bit of willpower he could muster, he pushed her away. "We need to leave. The storm is getting worse."

Holly quickly stepped away from him just as fast as she had flung herself at him, turning away. She'd never felt more embarrassed in her life. How could she just throw herself at him like that? How could she even think that he would want someone now, when he was still living in the past, still grieving, still trying to heal inside. And then trying to kiss him? Could she feel any more like a fool? She was pretty much dressed like one. She fought back the wave of emotions, fought back the tears.

She walked around the nurse's station where she had stashed all her belongings and pulled off one elf shoe and then the other, bracing her hip on the edge of the counter as she pulled on first one boot and then the other one, zipping them up. She kept her back to him so he couldn't see the sadness that had replaced the joy on her face. She couldn't hate herself more now; subjecting him to all these sick children while he was obviously trying to still cope with losing his own child. She pulled on her parka, zipped it up and gathered up the rest of her belongings, hurrying down the hall towards the elevator, the heels of her boots clicking on the floor, giving him the choice to follow or not.

Shit, Gabe swore to himself. He really did it now. He should've just kissed her, that was clearly what she wanted, but instead he pushed her away, even farther than he intended to. He grabbed his jacket and baseball cap and walked, or rather ran, behind her down the hall, his long strides quickly closing the distance between them. She was almost to the elevator when he caught up to her. "Holly, wait," he pleaded, slowing his gait to a walk as she stopped at the doors, frantically pushing the down arrow, keeping her attention to the LED display above the doors, watching as they clicked up. The doors to the elevator slid open and she stepped inside, and before she had a chance to close the doors on him, he planted his large hand on one door as it started to close and stepped into the elevator with her, letting the doors slide close behind them.

He leaned against the rail in the car and gazed at her across the narrow expanse. She had her arms crossed over her chest and her attention was focused on the toes of her boots, but he could clearly see the sadness that had replaced the joy on her face, and he knew that it had everything to do with him. Or was it something else entirely? "It's been five-" he stopped mid-sentence as the elevator stopped on the next floor to let someone on and he looked up at the doctor that joined them in the car, neither of them saying another word to each other as the three of them rode down to the bottom floor, he just watched her across the confines of the elevator as she avoided him as much as humanly possible.

They were silent as they walked through the hospital the same way that they had come in and when the automatic doors slid open, the biting air hit them in the face as a sudden gust of wind blew the falling snow under the protection of the cover. Gabe unlocked the Explorer and opened the passenger side door for her, shutting it when she settled in the seat. He walked around the front and climbed in behind the wheel, shifting his bulk into a comfortable position and starting up the heavy engine. He let the SUV idle for several minutes before he turned on the heater, quickly taking off the chill inside the vehicle, shifting it into gear and driving out from under the protection of the covered entrance, the three inches of snow that covered the asphalt crunching under the tires.

He didn't say anything to her until he had merged onto the deserted interstate and had the vehicle at a manageable speed. "It was Christmas Eve, five years ago when my life went to hell," Gabe said, softly, his gaze focused on the road as the words caught in his throat. He told her everything that had happened that night and in the days that had followed, how he tried desperately to salvage his marriage and how she still pushed him out of her life, why he had moved away and taken a job in a small town far away from the city. He let out a long breath. "It still hurts and not a day goes by that I don't think about Abby, but this time of year— When everything got taken away from me. I just—"

Holly listened to his words, hearing the sadness in his voice as he poured his emotions out to her. She felt her heart constrict in her chest as she fought back the tears that were starting to well up inside her. When he said he had lost a child, she assumed it was from an illness, not an act of violence, and there was nothing that could have prepared her for the harshness of his brutal honestly, to hear that his ex-wife blamed him for their daughter's death, for her getting shot, that he was the one that selfishly ruined all of their lives, leaving him alone to live with that burden every single day. He had been carrying around so much pain for such a long time and she could tell by the way that he started to freeze up when he was talking that it was the first time that he had told anyone about that day.

She gazed over at him in the dimly lit interior of the SUV, unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned closer to him, reaching out with her warm palm to touch the left side of his face, her thumb gently caressing his cheek as she softly pressed her lips to his other cheek, resting her forehead against his temple. She felt horrible for throwing herself at him like she had. "I'm so sorry, Gabe," she whispered, closing her eyes against the tears that she couldn't hold in any longer.

Gabe reached up and took hold of her hand, giving it a firm squeeze, and without thinking, pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before releasing it. To finally be able to tell someone was such an emotional relief. He had lived for too many years with the pain, with the weight of his own anguish holding him back from finally being able to move on with his life. And knowing that she could understand at least part of that pain made it much easier for him to open his soul up to her. And the fact that she didn't blame him, understood that he was only doing his job, helped so much more. He briefly glanced over at her, his gaze taking in the beauty of her tear-stained face, tears that she cried for him, for a child that she didn't even know. He was still too racked with emotions to smile at her. "Put your seatbelt back on," he quietly said, turning his attention back to the road.

They were both silent for the rest of the drive. Holly just stared out the side window watching the colorful lights that shone through the swirling flakes as Gabe maneuvered the SUV down the isolated stretch of the interstate, the tires cutting through the blanket of snow. Only when the lights of Oak Hills were visible in the distance did Gabe finally speak. "Your Jeep is not going to get towed tonight in this weather. I have to stop by the department to file my reports for the evening and then I'll give you a ride to wherever you need to go, my truck can handle the snow better than this Explorer."

Holly looked over at him in the dimly lit interior. She didn't have any plans for the rest of the night other than chilling on her couch and watching cheesy Christmas movies. She had to be at her parents' house for dinner tomorrow afternoon but if the storm kept up through the evening and into tomorrow, she wasn't going anywhere. She didn't trust herself to drive in this much snow anyway, and the accumulation was at least an inch or two deeper than when they had left to drive to the hospital, and it didn't look like it was letting up any time soon. "That sounds good. Thank you," she said, catching his gaze across the vehicle before looking out the windshield as the snow splattered against the glass, the headlights barely even able to illuminate the darkness just the tunnel effect of the snow.

Gabe took the quickest and safest route to the police station, staying on the main road through town, the tracks from a few other vehicles already disappearing in the falling snow. There were no other cars on the road, everyone in town was already safely at home, so he slowly rolled through the red light and turned the corner, easing the utility vehicle into the lot behind city hall and nosed it into the empty space between two other interceptors parked at the rear entrance. All the department issued SUVs were in the lot along with the other two officers' personal vehicles, so the two that were scheduled for the swing shift had safely made it into work despite probably wanting to call in sick so they could stay home.

He shut off the engine and slid out of the SUV, the snow crunching under his boots, and walked around the front to open the door for her but she was already gingerly sliding out and he quickly reached out with a gloved hand and grasped her arm, steadying her on the snow-covered asphalt, before she slipped in her ill-equipped boots. "Those are the wrong boots for this kind of weather. You're going to fall on your ass sooner or later," he said as he helped her over to the walkway that was protected by the awning before retrieving his bag from the back seat.

He punched the code into the numeric lock and pushed the door open, stepping aside so she could enter first, the warmth of the building quickly enveloping them. He led her down the hall to the main room of the empty police station, the secretary and records clerk had gone home for the holiday, leaving only the officers coming in and out of the department for the next two days. He gave her a quick tour, pointing her in the directions of anything that she might need. "The bathroom is down the hall on the left on the other side of the kitchen, I'll be in the Sergeants office at the other end of the hall. Help yourself to the goodies on the counter if you want, there should be something to drink in the fridge or teabags in the cupboard. A couple ladies in town bake cookies for the first responders every year. Officers Higgins and Davis are probably in the building somewhere, they're my relief for the night."

"Okay," Holly said, nodding her head as she unzipped her parka, following him into the main room, looking around. The room was cheerfully decorated for the holidays with a small Christmas tree and stocking hanging on the wall, an assortment of seasonal cards displayed on the back counter. She stopped at the island counter in the middle of the small room, watching as Gabe walked away from her towards his office, her gaze lingering on the tautness of his ass in his duty trousers. She bit her bottom lip, watching as he disappeared into the room at the end of the hall and, as she grabbed a decorated gingerbread man from the tray of half consumed cookies, she had to wonder why the records clerk never mentioned Gabe to her when she came into the salon to get her hair and nails done by one of her co-workers. Probably because she wasn't supposed to talk about the officers or other police business.

She slowly wandered around the station, munching on her cookie, looking at the plaques and pictures that hung on the walls commemorating the past and the present officers that had served from the time the town was incorporated to the present. She was reading the names on the marksmanship plaque, Gabe had the highest-ranking score for five years running, when she heard heavy footsteps behind her. She quickly popped the rest of the cookie into her mouth and turned around, looking at Gabe as he walked towards her.

"I'll just be a few more minutes. I've got to brief the other guys for the night and then I'll get you on your way," Gabe said as he strode past her to the meeting room on the other side of the station.

She nodded her head, her eyes once again taking in his physique the best that she could even with his vest hugging his torso and waist. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he was still single, a strong able-bodied man like him shouldn't have a problem finding a date. Or maybe he just didn't want to be in a relationship again after what his ex-wife put him through. She leaned slightly to get a better view as he stepped into the other room, but her gawking was brought to a halt when he shut the door behind him. Oh, well. It wasn't like she was hoping for anything, she'd had her fair share of failed relationships and wasn't really looking forward to another one.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gabe opened the door to the briefing room and sauntered back into the main room as the other two officers got ready for their shift. He stopped at the doorway, looking over at Holly where she sat in one of the desk chairs, tapping away at her cellphone. She had one slender leg crossed over the other one, her booted foot bobbing and swaying in time with the music that was coming from her earbuds. His gaze traveled higher, lingering a little too long on the ample swell of her breasts over the faux fur edge of her elf costume, a scalloped edge of red lace peeking out, tempting him to tug it a little bit lower, ease the lace down over her breast until... He shook his head, clearing it of its lewd thoughts.

He had no right but he couldn't help himself either, the glitter sparkling on her chest only drew his gaze that much more in the direction of her breasts and the deep cleavage between them. It had been too long since he had touched... He had no choice but to enjoy the view, because he had a feeling that his actions at the hospital and his confession on the drive back, even though she had kissed him on the cheek out of sympathy, had ruined his chances of ever having a shot with her, of ever having a happy life again. "Holly?"

Holly looked up from her phone to see Gabe standing in the doorway and she reached up to take the earbuds out and tucked them and her phone into the pocket of her parka, picking up her purse. She got to her feet and pushed the chair back under the desk. "I was letting my parents know that I probably won't make it out to see them tomorrow. They live several miles out east of town and those roads are always the last to get plowed. I'm lucky if the road crew even makes it out to my apartment complex. They told me to stay inside, keep warm and call them tomorrow."

He knew which roads she was talking about, even though they fell under the county jurisdiction the city still assisted with backup if needed, and the county only had so many snowplows at their disposal and the main roads were priority, leaving people on the outskirts last on the list. And the trucks weren't going out until it quit snowing, which with any luck would be by tomorrow morning. He pulled on his jacket, zipping it up halfway over the bulk of his vest, watching as she zipped up her own parka, concealing her breasts from his gaze.

He had checked the weather report when he was in his office before briefing the other two officers about the conditions and duties that awaited them. The storm front that was supposed to head northeast towards the mountains had shifted, staying over the valley for a few more hours, meaning that they were in for an unexpected amount of snow, the original prediction of three inches turning into eight, possibly ten inches, giving Oak Hills its first white Christmas in over twenty years. His last snow-filled holiday had been that dreaded, fateful day and he felt that overwhelming sadness envelop him again. "We better get going before the snow gets any deeper. It's going to get worse in another hour."