All Comments on 'Holly's Heart'

awesome job telling it from the husbands point of view, will look forward to reading more from you

More please

Excellent story line. Makes you feel like you are there. Give us more, please.

Thanks for a great story . Well developed and well written . Looking forward to more from you . 5 Stars

Please keep writing. This is great story and I would love to continue reading more stories from you in the future.

loved the story, great build up.

Why can't holly have children?

Another chapter would be nice please.

great writing hope you write more you have a great style of writing keep it up

Really enjoyed the story and your style. Could do with a little more attention to grammar etc and the slight repetitiveness of the sex scenes with the protagonist repeatedly taking women who are sensitive and asking him to stop.

This is surely one intense story but a beautiful message when Rick and Holly finally marry each other, as they have been soul mates all their lives. Yes, another chapter would be great !! Thank you.

PS: Got to include some new Hot Sex too :)

OK, so the story needs a little cleaning up to go from good to excellent.

The beginning doesn't tie in. The boss knows of the marital problems and Rick is a wreck but when we get to this point again in the narrative, the very day he discovers the problem with wifey Holly enters in and saves his heart, he is happy and proposing. This does not jive with the opening.

Rick seems to only have "one game" in the bedroom and all women respond to it EXACTLY the same way. Your love scenes seem almost copy and paste. That kills the readers mood and emotional investment in your tale instantly as the writer appears to have grown bored with their own creation and lazy to offer variety in the description.

The diatribe of useless information about the specks and gas mileage of Ricks cars in forced tangents that add nothing to the story needs to go. (see what I mean?) I would suggest more about Holly, or their link, or basically anything character building.

The ending seemed too rushed for the amount of detail and background you provided. Background should not be the majority of Holly's Heart, yet it is. Flesh out the cousins' story and commitment. It is unnaturally fast and "wrapped up", again like you got bored with the story, and if the writer comes off bored with it, the reader will be too.

It has the potential to be great, but needs more love and attention from you. Do you read your stories aloud before you post? It helps you catch this stuff.

cousins IS NOT INCEST! First cousins CAN legally marry!!!

just to vote. I marvel at authors that call cousins incest, it's NOT or come up with one not able to have kids so there will be no freak babies. IF brother and sis fuck get preggers the chance of anomallies is just slightly above the national average <2%. IF there are no genetic maladies they can fuck for generations and NEVER produce a freak!!! do a little bit of fucking research dumb asses....

re:

cousins IS NOT INCEST! First cousins CAN legally marry!!!

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Only in some states, in others it is incest.

But true about the risk of birth defects.

It isn't really any worse than the risk when 40 year old woman has a child, and they haven't made that illegal.

I look forward to more stories from you.

One of my favorite. Thank you!

Well I did enjoy it , so thanks for hoping I would ! Now , returning the favor , here is my hope for you , I hope you keep writing erotic stories on this site , as you’re quite good at it ! Your story keep me enthralled and thoroughly entertained ! 5stars from me (wish I could vote more than 5,you’d be the overstocked recipient!)

Well just found this story and loved it. It is a shame that this is the only story this author has written as was excellent. 5/5