All Comments on 'Hollywood's Fallen Angels: Sandy 01'

Enjoyed it. Well paced, sexy and descriptive tale. Presented in a realistic style that allows one to easily imagine they are listening to Sandy tell her story instead of reading about it. I write this without prejudice despite facts of being born in Wewoka and my first clunker was an Olds Delta 88. Did I imagine a "Get Smart" salute re closing door in last chapter? I'll hold suggestions to avoid influencing this promising storyline unless you specifically request it from readers.

Thank you Anonymous for the kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed the first person perspective. Your first clunker was a Delta 88? Wow, you probably had room for all your friends plus their friends, and that's just in the back seat! Hopefully chapter 2 will be published by the Gods of Literotica shortly. I submitted both chapters at the same time, so stay tuned! Chapter 2 will get to the good stuff. :-)

The storyline is the excellent basis for a series. Vivid descriptions and very good pacing, especially after Sandy reaches Hollywood. There are a few inconsistencies or oversights. In your introduction, she flees from an abusive step-father, but in the story he is an abusive uncle. The implication is that she was sexually abused. Perhaps, a future flashback would clarify. Sandy says she had sex before her bout with Stu. Was it with the uncle/step-father or someone else? Her pre-Stu sexual history would be interesting. As for Stu, he appears initially to be a typical young man in the back of a car hastily exploring his date's body - she teaches him how to play with her breasts. Then, he becomes a highly experienced, patient lover who at the point of his own climax expertly pulls out and ejaculates on her belly. I do wonder if it is physically possible for a woman in the back seat of a spacious car to drab one leg over the back of that seat and the other leg over the back of the front seat. (Did I misread your description?) Minor but discordant points in my mind in an otherwise very, very good story that held my attention. I look forward to reading the next part. I hope you maintain the snappy dialogues. Thank you for starting a promising series. You are a talented writer.

Hi Ma8grets3weaknesses and thank you for your comments, which are very detailed, Love them, keep them coming! Yes, I goofed on the description. Her Uncle and step-father are one in the same. Once Sandy's G-ma died Sandy and her brother were sent to live with her Uncle and Aunt. At that point (at least in my mind) he became a guardian (ie, father figure) and clearly 'step father' does not accurately reflect that relationship. I should have replaced step father with 'guardian' or even better, kept the reference as "Uncle" throughout. I've never tried to edit a published story but if I can I'll try to make that adjustment.

Without giving away a future plot point I will suggest that there's a possibility that her abusive Uncle was the person she had sex with prior to Stu, it may have been someone else, or possibly even multiple people, you'll have to await a future chapter to learn what happened to her while under the 'care' of her Uncle!

As for Stu, he did get around sexually so he was a 'good' lover (using that term somewhat tongue-in-cheek) in the sense that he knew what to do. Sandy showed him how she liked her breasts to be touched, and like a good lover should Stu clued in and followed her lead at least for that part of their encounter.

As to the size of the Delta 88 back seat, it's huge with lots and lots of room. It would be pretty easy for a woman to place one leg or an ankle up on the front seats and the other on the back by the rear window. I won't ('ahem') attempt to explain how I know this - let's just say I'm quite confident there was plenty of room in those huge gas-guzzling cars back in the day for lots of hanky-panky as described.

Thank you again for the very kind words, this is an experiment in a more detailed version of storytelling and I'm not 100% sure how the majority of Literotica fans will react - but I sincerely appreciate your feedback! I think you'll enjoy Chapter 2 quite a bit, hopefully it will be published very soon. Please keep those comments and suggestions coming in! :)

I think this could be a decent series...it has a nice pace!

Enjoyed the good start - looking forward to more

Thank you D_O_Londoner and Anonymous for the kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Thank you for your clarifications. I really think this is a great series. I try to write constructive criticism, as you invited us to do. I hope my comments on the next chapter don't seem too pedantic or negative. I am now an ardent follower.

Thanks Ma8grets3weaknesses I appreciate your constructive criticism and your other comments. Please keep them coming.