All Comments on 'Home, Finally Home'

It started out really good but somewhere on in the middle it lost steam and was more "Meh"

Fun. What about revenge on the three guys that raped Jill? Or is that the next adventure?

This is by far one of the best stories I have ever read...and anonymous can go suck on a pickle....the depth of character and the portrait of the feelings and emotions are fantastic...if any story deserves six stars this one definitely does !!!

It started out so well but I felt that you lost focus half way through and it started to drag. Also the way you tied up the issues in Dallas with the partner was too cute and didn’t add anything to the story. It could have been a 5...

The theme and plot line are quite good. The writing at the start was excellent - obviously it had been reviewed more times than the tail end, and was decently polished. The tail end - not so much. The build-up of the relationship between the two main characters was also very good. The persona of all characters was excellent.

Keep at it. I'm going to be liking your stories.

One of the best ever. The tense did get confusing. Just a little break with the current character name in bold would be great. Looking forward to the rest of your work

It lost some focus and the ending was not as good as the first half, but I really liked the characters.

Would like to see the bad guys punished. Maybe a second chapter?

Okay, well.. you have a great premise here but you need someone to help you write convincing female characters. This is a new account and I am known for laying into people who use rape and sexual violence as a means to white knight, damsel or otherwise develop characters. I won't because you are new. It was obvious that your intent was to develop a very strong and self assured female character that would compliment the MC. You were successful in presenting her as strong but as a believable character that could exist (verisimilitude), not so much. The dialogue between Jill and Teddy didn't feel organic, it felt forced. She just wasn't believable unfortunately.

That being said, the story has a very interesting plot and I found myself drawn in at the start. You clearly have talent. Just get a little help with female perspective and also dialogue. Keep it up!

Very good story that could have been great. Solid start and great characters, plenty of drama. But it just finished way too quickly, all wrapped up in a nice bow. What did happen to his ex wife? Was she completely evil or just easily lead? What happened to the men who attacked Jill? Did she get her revenge? Look forward to your next story.

Good story!

5

I liked more the first part. The ending fast too fast.

I also consider that the FBI landing a copter just to tell him that his former colleague is dead is overkill. It's not like her brother could have just called her to give him the news. Cheaper, also.

Not a bad story at all but I think could have used a second chapter to flesh things out. It ended pretty abruptly. Still a definite 5 star story.

As others have said great beginning. The second half not so much I have read many stories from new authors and many the same problem. Keep writing well worth reading. AFAW29

Excellent story! Try to avoid beginning so many successive sentence with 'I + verb'. Find an editor and this will be a top-notch story!!! Very enjoyable.

Looking forward to reading more from you!!!

You write fairly well. You tell a great story. Just unfortunate you switch characters with 1st POV. At least warn when you do it in the story. Most polite writers indicate when you change protagonists and who it will be.

Shame, because I was really enjoying it.

I enjoyed it, and appreciate the Texas travelogue. Been to all those places, including the plantation tours along the Mississippi. Hope you had the buffet at Homa House; especially the gumbo and bread pudding.

One very minor detail: an arroyo between Junction and San Antonio would run into El Rio Guadalupe, not El Rio Grande.

Fun second read.

This was a very interesting story. Very entertaining. All of the so called experts in English/French literature should encourage you instead of being genuine assholes. You have a great imagination and this was a great read !

First time reading you, I think. May be the best story I ever read.

Second time. Love it even more. Thank you for your work and please write more

Nicely done. Found myself wanting more. Chapter 2, Boys to boss around?

Repeat read. Great feel good romance.

Loved it the first time, still love it. Wish it was longer or there was a sequel or something. The characters are great and I want to spend more time with them.

Story is good but you say Jill or the other persons name every sentence. Very ann

Great story added to my favorites,, just need a few more chapters to finish this all off ,,,, the parents showing up and the wedding along with the little brother or a sister also for his daughter

What "they" all said, great story!

The story line was fine. Going from first person to third person without any type of segue was not so adroit.

2nd time round. great story 5 stars again

Fourth time reading this and it still is a 5⭐️ story and it’s still in my favorites. I keep coming back to it every so often to see if it has another chapter, for the parents showing up, wedding and a baby brother or sister for his daughter. Along with the money status that he had stuffed away in hiding

I immensely enjoyed the wonderful Romance!