All Comments on 'Home For Her Birthday (750 Words)'

And the EP version...?

This isn’t BDSM, it’s not power, it’s just abuse.

It’s like you wrote a story about a black football player beating the shit out of his wife: breaking her jaw, her arm, a couple of ribs and turning her into a toilet and telling her he loves her with every punch, every kick, every concussion, every break.

Still think it’s erotic? You think if they had children, she would restrain herself or would they be collateral damage, learning to scream internally, silently,.

Still think it’s erotic?

"She twisted savagely. Fresh blood welled up".

I'm not into BDSM or S&M and don't know a whole lot about it. I could be dead wrong, but I'm fairly sure this torture - of a type that might shock the SS - is not it. This may be your idea of sexy and erotic, but it made me queasy. But each to his own!

Yeah, it's clear this one didn't work. Here's what I was trying to convey:

They had a mutually enjoyable femdom dynamic throughout their decades of marriage. Then in the twilight of their years, with their jobs and their parents and their kids out of the way, he really wanted to try something more extreme.

It's more than she would ideally want, but she's willing to support him in this long-held dream of his. In particular, she doesn't want him to come back for her sake. He's been giving up his own dreams his whole life in order to do what others needed of him.

But when he decides he's gotten what he wanted, she's happy to have her husband back. And now that the end is in sight, she finds she can enjoy their dynamic again.

Hmm, that explanation was 129 words. Maybe this was too much story to pack into 750 words. Live and learn.