Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 018

The implication hit Mike in the chest like a truck, and he opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the sound of screeching tires and splintering wood.

-

The stolen car slid sideways on the street, and Beth let out another scream, clutching the door handle for dear life. The ride to Mike's house from Beth's apartment had been an utter nightmare, with Lily dodging through traffic, taking a side street to avoid a cop that Beth never saw, all the while filling Beth in on a tale that was too fantastical to make any sort of sense.

Apparently, monsters were real, and lived among mankind. That much she got, and for whatever reason, Mike's home was full of them. Beth had been inside the home dozens of times over the last year, and had never once spotted any sign of life. Every neuron in her brain told her to run from Lily the first chance she got, to flee the city and seek refuge somewhere where Lily, Mike, or even the Historical Preservation Society could never find her.

However, she had just escaped a mirror world, watched Lily grow a tail to shatter a window, and was currently screaming at the top of her lungs as Lily forced the car to slide sideways through an intersection, traffic narrowly missing them on both sides. One of the side mirrors was gone when Lily straightened the vehicle out, shards of metal and plastic dangling from the car door.

"How?" It was all Beth could say, her heart beating so fast that she had one hand firmly planted on her own sternum. She was riding a rollercoaster of adrenaline, and her brain was officially numb.

"I have supernatural reflexes," Lily answered with a smirk, taking the car onto the sidewalk and through a park. It was early enough that they crossed the large field with no trouble, the tires screeching when they met back up with pavement on the other side. Beth could see the long trail of mud streaked on the road behind them.

They were in the old part of town, steadily climbing the hill to where the Radley house awaited them. She could see its familiar turrets, make out the large stone walls at the end of the street. The neighbors rarely asked questions about the house, and it suddenly occurred to Beth that it was strange that they had never once dropped by, even out of curiosity. She knew she would have.

"Almost there," Lily told her, yanking the wheel and making the car drift. The stone lions on top of the entryway stared stoically at the sky, and Lily pushed the pedal to the metal, the tires of the car screeching as they jumped the curb and climbed the sidewalk.

"There's a driveway!" Beth yelled, suddenly aware of the two figures standing in front of the house. A black woman in a white outfit and Sebastien, the Society's attorney. The black woman turned to look at them, mouth open in surprise. The woman ran across the yard, something long and thick trailing behind her, taking refuge behind some bushes. Sebastien, however, tried to limp out of the way before Lily adjusted the car's trajectory, slamming the car into the man and sending him flying. Patches of dirt and grass flew into the air as the car spun out of control, slamming into the front porch. Beth's face met the airbag that had deployed, and her entire world was suddenly a narrow tunnel of black.

Maybe she was dreaming? The whole world no longer seemed to make sense, not since last week when she had lost a day. She had heard of lucid dreaming before. Was it possible this was all a dream? In the distance, she heard her mother calling her. She was going to be late to school.

"Mom, I'm tired." Beth's words were nothing more than grunts.

"Beth! Get out!" Lily shouted, pulling at Beth. She shook Beth, slapping her across the face. The sting snapped Beth out of her trance, and she opened her eyes.

"You hit that guy..." Beth replied, her words barely coherent. "With the car."

"And if we were lucky, we killed him. Hurry up!" Lily unbuckled Beth, pulling her across the driver's seat. Part of the porch's roof had collapsed on top of the car, shingles sliding out onto the grass. Beth staggered in small circles before a steady hand pushed on her lower back.

"Are those sticks?" Beth asked, staring at the large number of squiggly lines that were coming to the surface of the yard. No, not sticks. These things hissed, and had teeth. Definitely not sticks. Maybe she had fallen back asleep? She was going to be late for school.

"Inside, now!" Lily pushed Beth up what was left of the stairs, the wood cracking beneath them. Together, they pushed open the front door, collapsing into the front entryway together.

Panting on the hardwood floor, Beth heard footsteps coming toward her.

"Beth?" Mike knelt down in her field of view, one hand behind his back. His face was full of both hope and doubt, and Beth noticed he was keeping his distance.

"This one's the real deal," Lily said, getting to her feet. Stunned, Mike stared at the intern, his mouth agape. "Hey there Romeo."

"Lily?!?" In an instant, Mike's body language changed. He wrapped his arms around Lily, pulling her into a tight embrace. Beth noticed the hesitation, saw Lily eventually give in and return the affection. "Oh my god, Lily, I'm so glad to see that you're okay!"

"I'm okay too." Beth groaned. Her head felt like it had cracked on the inside, and her brains were starting to flow out her forehead. If enough fell out, she was going to fail her Algebra test. She tried to stand, but the room went dim, and she lost her balance, falling over on her butt. Looking up at Mike and Lily, she noticed movement by her own feet. Looking down, she saw the creepy doll that Mike had given her. The doll gave her a little wave.

"Fuck it," Beth said, letting the darkness in. Falling on her back, she heard Lily and Mike calling out to her.

-

Kali stared at the car that had rammed itself into the front porch of the house. Steam came from the hood of the vehicle, a mist that floated into the air and bounced off the protective spells on the home. She laughed, walking toward the wreckage. Her snake slithered behind her, curious if there would be something to eat.

"Clever boy," she said, kicking at what was left of a pile of sand. Her phone rang, and she pulled it out of her pocket.

"Un-fucking believable!" Sebastien screamed in her ear. "What just fucking happened?"

"You got hit by a car," Kali said, trying to hide the mirth in her voice.

"How? By who?" Kali wondered if Sebastien's mustache was twitching, his face red like a cherry.

"The estate agent. She got pulled out by someone else and they are both inside now. I'm guessing that your homunculus failed?"

"I can't fucking tell from here. It's been so long since I've been in my own body, I'm all disoriented." She heard the clatter of furniture being scattered. "I'll be back as soon as I can get the necessary ingredients together to recompose myself. I need you to scoop as much of the sand back together as you can."

"I'm sure you'll be back soon enough.." Kali kicked lightly at the sand, scattering it even farther across the yard. "I guess I'm curious how you could have gotten so sloppy. You cloned the agent but left her alive?"

"I pushed her into the mirror demon's prison," Sebastien hissed. "There's no way she should have escaped."

"Then I guess Elizabeth was right. Mike Radley does possess the devil's own luck." Kali looked up at the house, suddenly hungry. "I'm going to enjoy taking him apart and finding out how he ticks."

"Don't you do anything without me!" Sebastien hung up. Kali grinned at the sandy mess in front of her, then turned away. She had better things to do then gloat. Cracking her knuckles, she set to work once more on undoing the Geas. Before Sebastien had arrived, she had found a particular flaw in the magic, a giant metaphorical crack that she felt like exploring. Focusing her magical energy, she drove it forward like a wedge, pushing hard against the fabric of reality itself.

In her pocket, her phone rang. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Kali answered it.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Did it work?" Daryl asked. It sounded like he was inside a car. Daryl typically rode in the back of a towncar, his driver a zombie. Where Sebastien was gifted in making life from nothing, Daryl was equally gifted in returning life to dead flesh.

"Of course not."

A soft chuckle over the phone. "Well then, I guess I will move ahead with the delivery girl."

"Do what you must. If you don't mind, I'm busy." Kali hung up the phone, sliding it into her pocket. She had no idea who the delivery girl was, focusing her attention instead on the magical crack once more.

This time, when she struck it, it sounded like thunder.

*****

I have some seriously big things in store for the Radley House. It's the enthusiasm of the Lit community which keeps me going strong, and I want you to know that all of you are so awesome. I super appreciate all your emails, reviews, etc. In honor of this, I will be changing to a job with fewer hours in a month, so I hope to get closer to my original posting schedule!

That being said, keep an eye on my bio for more HFHM news-I always update my bio the same day I click "submit". I will see you all again soon!