Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 038

They had chosen to work away from Ratu's den. With the large amount of dangerous magical items stored there, Reggie and Asterion had felt it would be safer to open portals somewhere else, just in case something was waiting on the other side.

After a long, largely sleepless night for all of them, Reggie had finally announced that the first portals were nearly ready for Tink to inspect. All morning long, they had moved from portal to portal, with zero luck.

Tink hustled over to the next hole, and Beth watched her repeat the process. The ground shook beneath them, and the rats all paused to wait for several of the holes to be plugged back up before another was opened. Reggie had explained that once a hole was closed, it couldn't be used to chew a portal to somewhere else, which meant they were using one of the longer tunnels near the center of the Labyrinth. Asterion had disabled the traps, and the fairies circled overhead. All three of them were together once more, and they flitted in and out of the holes the rats made with the understanding that if they wandered off, they would get abandoned.

"Nope." Tink patted one of the rats on the head. "Good try, no husband."

"We've been at this for awhile now." Reggie rubbed his cheeks and sighed. "Are we sure she can find him this way?"

"Well... I'm going to say yes." Hope was all they had at this point. She was fairly certain that the deadline for turning the dial had passed, and she knew the Society would be eager to try and break in once again.

"Hmm." Reggie examined a globe that he had stolen from a school they had tunneled into. "It would seem that we are no closer to locating him than we were before." He had marked off portal openings using a marker. The whole globe was dotted with markings now. "if he's anywhere to be found, it certainly isn't on Earth proper."

"That's not a comforting thought." Beth picked up a rock and tossed it through one of the openings nearby. It had taken the rats several minutes to open the portals, and just as many to close them. "Any ideas on where to look?"

"It would have to be a place that was cut off from everywhere else. Folded up in on itself." Reggie made a ball with his hands. "Those are extremely difficult to find."

"Like the ones you built the tunnels through?"

"One and the same." His whiskers twitched and he turned to face one of the portals. "You've given me an idea." He gestured for a few rats to approach. They huddled around him, ears forward as he spoke.

"We've opened many portals to other realms in our time here. Speak with the others and reopen them right away." They nodded at him and bowed, then ran off.

"You think that will help?" Beth asked.

"Perhaps." He turned to face her. "This woman came through a wardrobe that had been locked by Emily's hand. If this is the case, then I imagine she couldn't have come to the house using conventional means. She must have been trapped in one of those pocket dimensions."

"That's right, I hadn't even thought of that!" She frowned. "But why would opening old portals do any good?"

"I have a theory." He paced down the hall, his eyes on his subjects. "This woman who came here was familiar with the house. Many eyes watched as she walked the halls. She was before our time, this I know. But," he held up a finger, "I remember Emily demanding that we open the portals for her. She would travel to the Library and come back with her research. Pictures, scriptures, poetry, anything that could help us find the locations she was looking for. All but one time."

"What happened then?"

"She described a tower overlooking a valley as if from memory. If she could go there, then why not simply go? We closed that portal quite some time ago, but our teeth remember. If we can open up those old portals, we should be able to find that place once more."

"Reggie, you're a genius." She knelt down and kissed the rat on his forehead. It was the best idea they had heard so far, and she hoped he was right.

"You are too kind, Lady Beth." He threw his shoulders back, suddenly looking very regal. "It is my pleasure to serve."

The ground rumbled beneath their feet, more powerfully than before, and Reggie ran off, stopping on occasion to sniff the air. Beth followed behind him, wondering what had happened. They ran down the long corridor followed by a small cluster of rats that had broken away from their projects. She felt like the pied piper, leading her army of rats to an unknown destination.

"There!" Reggie pointed at a section of the ground.

Beth stopped to rub her eyes, unsure of what she was seeing. Part of the stone floor had gone blurry, which didn't make any sense. It shrank and grew every few seconds, the air between them rippling.

Nearby, a group of portals had just been opened. The rats that came with them helped close up the holes, rapidly shrinking them down to little dots of light that finally blipped out of existence a few minutes later.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Instability. We spaced the holes just right, but the tunnel curves. We didn't account for that, and now must leave this part untouched unless we want to accidentally create our own pocket dimension. Or get shoved into a dimension-less void."

"Yeah, I don't feel like getting lost in the multiverse or whatever." She let out a sigh. "I'm glad you got it fixed."

"I'm just glad nobody was hurt." Reggie patted one of his subjects on the head appreciatively. "These were portals dedicated to Earth destinations anyway. Please check in with your team leader for new assignments."

The nearby rats saluted and dispersed.

"They seem to respect you."

"I like to think so. Our previous king ruled from the throne. I prefer to rule from amongst my people." He turned to face her, his long tail dragging through the dirt. "If you will excuse me, Lady Beth, I must attend to other matters."

"Thank you, King Reggie." She watched him leave, counting her blessings that they had managed to befriend such a powerful ally. How many other creatures like the rats roamed the world, just waiting for a fair shot at survival? Would Mike try and find them, then bring them to the house?

"Big earth shake," Tink said from behind her, causing her to jump. "Rats no find husband, but try real hard."

"Yeah, well... it's definitely going to take some time." Opening her mouth to say something else, she lost her train of thought when Asterion suddenly appeared, a dark look on his face.

"She is at the gate." He gazed at the wall, his eyes looking past it. "And now the gate has opened."

"She's here? But why?"

"To stop Tink from finding husband." Tink made a fist and punched her other hand. "Tink make pelt, wear in winter."

"You mustn't fight her. Your job is to find Mike and get him back here to turn the dial." Though, with a fox demon assaulting them from within, she hoped he had some more tricks up his sleeve.

Blinking away her exhaustion, she watched as the rats opened numerous portals that went to strange places. A jungle where the sky was somehow an upside down city, the tower in the sky that Mike had been to, and even the inside of a submarine that had taken on some water. Each portal was a glimpse into a world that had been forgotten, and some of them immediately faded from Beth's memory once the rats shut the portal down. Dozens of them were opened simultaneously, and Tink paced the corridors, dragging her club behind her.

"There!" Tink nearly knocked over a group of rats that had opened a hole barely a few inches wide. "Husband is in there, Tink can tell!"

Silence rippled across the rats for a few seconds, and then they swarmed. Pending portals were shut down, and rats squeezed in to help open the new portal as soon as there was room. They swarmed to the other side, the sound of their teeth on stone filling the air and sending chills down Beth's spine.

"She is close now." Asterion shouldered his axe. "She will be here soon."

"Go go go!" Reggie shouted. The rats chewed frantically, and Tink was practically hopping up and down in front of the hole. Another squad of rats slipped through the gap to help from the other side.

Once the portal was large enough, Tink tossed her club through and fought to squirm into it. Her hips got stuck and she began frantically kicking her feet, her skirt lifting up to reveal her bare booty.

"Tink stuck!" Her voice sounded both muffled and far away. The rats nearby went to push her through but balked when her foot connected with one of them, knocking him over.

"Out of the way!" Beth placed a foot on Tink's butt and gave her a good shove. The goblin slid forward several inches, then stopped again. Letting out a sigh, she placed a hand on each of Tink's buttcheeks and pushed as hard as she could, musing over Tink's inability to wear panties.

Tink popped through to the other side, falling sideways onto a stone floor. An azure sky with floating clouds could be seen through a window overlooking a mountain range.

"Close it," Beth said.

"Wait!" Tink's face popped into view. "Beth come, too!"

"There's no time. Find Mike, tell him what happened here." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Bring him back. You can do it."

"Lady Beth." Reggie's nose twitched and he ruffled his hands nervously over his fur. "I will stay and help."

"No. Make sure the portals all get closed and then hide. Your people need you, and we will need you once this is over. The last thing we need is a change in the monarchy."

"I will do my best." Reggie turned toward the portal. "I need some volunteers to go with Lady Tink to retrieve Sir Mike."

Several rats raised their hands, and they ran through to the other side to help close it. The Labyrinth was full of chewing noises as the rats quickly shut down the portals all around them. Asterion looked nervous, his gaze turning along the far wall.

"Hmm. She is fast." The minotaur frowned. "It is as if she knows this place."

"Great," Beth muttered. Reggie had the rats opening a small portal into their tunnels, and as each hole closed, the rats would either migrate to help close another or run for the safety of their den. The air temperature was cooling and Asterion took her hand.

"This way," he rumbled, leading her out of the room.

They took a few shortcuts, the gnawing sounds diminishing behind them. Eventually, they entered one of the rooms with the river flowing beneath it. This one had a small drawbridge that Asterion lowered in order for them to cross.

Their feet were thumping on the planks when the kitsune appeared. She had forced her way up onto the wall above them, her face red with effort. Asterion had explained to Beth that the magic of the Labyrinth affected weight and balance once above the wall to prevent flying or climbing, but it seemed that Yuki had been able to surpass these limitations.

"There you are," she growled, nearly falling from the wall. "There used to be a shortcut here, you know." Then she moved toward them.

Beth moved behind Asterion, her hands on his hips, waiting. When he hadn't been turned to stone after a few seconds, she figured it would be safe enough to look. Leaning out to the side, she watched as the fox demon descended from above, sliding down a large ramp of ice she had created for herself. Upon touching the cavern floor, an eerie fog billowed out from the kitsune, causing ice to creep outward from where she stepped.

Her footsteps were quiet, and, behind her, three large tails swished around, defying gravity.

"My name is Yuki. Where is Tink?" the kitsune asked, her voice carrying across the distance between them easily. "I need to talk to her."

"We just want to talk," Beth said, holding her hands out. "We don't want a fight with you."

"What are you all doing down here? I can sense the portals you are opening. Whatever you were attempting, it needs to end now."

"We aren't attempting anything, but we do want to talk."

"I don't have time for games, so let's speed things up." Yuki pulled a glowing white ball out of her pocket and tossed it to Beth, who caught it. "I can use this to find out if you're telling me the truth. Basic trickster magic. As long as you answer my questions, I won't freeze you or your beefy sidekick."

"I have no reason to lie," Beth said. The ball turned red in her hands.

"Actually, you have every reason to lie. It's what I would do. So I ask again: what were you doing?"

Beth looked at the glowing orb in her hand and then back at Yuki. She fought to keep the smile off of her face.

"Tink just wanted to find her husband and go to him." The ball turned green. "And now that she has found him, they're gonna go home."

A look of disbelief crossed Yuki's face, and then she smiled. "Really? She got married? That's wonderful! She deserves it."

"I..." Beth hadn't been expecting that answer. The kitsune's body language suddenly relaxed and some of the ominous mist around her faded away. "You're happy for her?"

"It's a long story, but Tink and I used to know each other. I wouldn't say we were friends, but we did get along." Her face hardened once more. "Now tell me how you were opening the portals."

"The rat king opened a portal for her." The ball immediately turned red and Yuki summoned a glowing green flame in her hand. "Wait! I mean the rat king had a portal opened for her. He didn't do it personally." The ball flipped back over to green. "This thing is sensitive."

"A rat king? Hmm. That's how she did it. Also explains all the rats I've seen." A terrible look crossed Yuki's face, then vanished. "And where is this rat king now?"

"He took his subjects and went home. I don't think any of them are around, but I can't be sure." The ball remained green and Beth let out a sigh.

"Do you have magic? Do you wish me harm?"

"No and yes. I don't want to hurt you, necessarily, but I want you to stop turning my friends to stone, but I don't know how to make that happen." The ball remained green.

"Hmm." Yuki thought for several seconds, her eyes traveling across the room. "Maybe this is a good place for us to start then. I've been dying to talk with someone, but everybody down here seems pretty angry over what I did to Mike."

"What did you do to Mike?" Beth threw the ball to Yuki.

She caught it, and let out a chuckle. "I locked him in the wardrobe. He might be dead or alive, I'm not sure. But I hope he's dead. I deserve to be the Caretaker, not him."

"I see. And you think turning everyone to stone was the best way to become the new Caretaker?" Beth took a couple of steps forward. "If you knew Tink and the others, then what was the point of attacking everybody and turning them to stone?"

Yuki tilted her head, her eye narrowing. "And who are you, exactly?" She tossed the ball back, and Beth caught it.

"My name is Beth. I moved in here not long ago."

"You seem painfully human to be a resident here."

"I'm just a human," she said with a frown. "It's not like it's a disease."

"Then why do you live here? This home is only for others like myself."

"I didn't get a choice." The ball turned red and Beth sighed. "I mean, I did choose to come live here, and am grateful for it, but I felt like I didn't have a choice. There's a group of witches out there who were trying to use me as a way to get in, so it was safest for the house that I move in where the geas could protect me."

"And what are you to Mike?"

The question made her blush, but she didn't know why. "Legally, I'm his lawyer. When Emily died, it all went to her next of kin and that was Mike. It's why he's the Caretaker."

Yuki's face twisted up, and an eerie glow rippled across her arms. "You're wrong. I'm the Caretaker."

"Legally speaking, the house was passed on to Emily's next of kin. The relationship was distant, I admit, but Mike is Emily's great nephew."

Yuki let out a laugh. "That's where you're wrong. Emily was an only child. I can't blame you for thinking that, though. It's how the geas works."

This wasn't something Beth had expected to hear. "Excuse me?" She threw the ball back to Yuki.

"The geas. When a Caretaker dies, the house passes to the next Caretaker. But here's the big secret; none of them have actually been related. The rules are quite clear. The new Caretaker must be an orphan with nobody special in their life. Someone who could fall down a hole and never be missed. Emily was an orphan with no past and no future, a meager little thing who lucked into the most amazing fate." She tauntingly held up the green ball.

"That doesn't make sense. I saw the genealogy, everyone was excited when we discovered a living descendant..."

"Please. You're talking to a magical fox who can turn people to stone and use a glowing ball to discern the truth— and you think magically forging documents is somehow difficult to grasp?" Yuki shook her head. "Caretakers are supposed to help select these people in advance before they pass. I'm guessing Emily didn't do that."

"No. When she passed, she lived alone. Well..." Beth waved her hand at Asterion. "Not with any other humans."

"This Mike has no claim to the house. My claim, however, is legitimate." The ball flickered a few times at this statement, causing Yuki to curse. She took a deep breath, the words suddenly stuck in her throat. "Emily is my... she was my wife. We were promised to one another, and I would argue my claim is far more valid than any other."

Beth fought to hold her composure, her eyes on the soft green glow of the ball. Emily had been married? "Yes, well, legally speaking, this marriage was never on record and wouldn't be recognized in a court of law."

"Fuck your laws. Do you think I care about them? Do you think the people up there on the lawn cared about them? If I worried about human laws, I would never get anything done."

"Wait, what people?"

"You don't have to worry about it. I killed one of them and I suspect the others are in a rush to die as well. Speaking of which, I think it's about time we leave. I don't sense anymore portals down here, the last one just closed." She threw the ball back to Beth. "Unless you think anymore would be opened?"

"If they do, it's not something I have control over." Beth shook her head. "However, you've got it all wrong about the people upstairs. Those people on the lawn are a group of powerful warlocks and witches. They've been dogging Mike since shortly after he moved in. He's been attacked by demons, elementals, and a witch who could control the weather."

"And he hasn't gotten rid of them yet? Pathetic."

"For the record, he's only been living here about a month. I've only been here a week and I've already seen him deal with so much, I have no idea how he does it. But I do know that he's been trying so hard to keep this place safe. I fail to see a parallel between you two."

Yuki's face scrunched up for a second, her eyes on the ball, then snapped back to normal. "My methods are necessary. As long as that man lives, he is the biggest danger to this house."

"How?" Beth took another step forward, tossing the ball back to Yuki. "You don't even know him."

That odd look crossed Yuki's face again, her features briefly going feral. "Let's just say that I've seen the best that humanity had to offer and was woefully disappointed."

"Are you talking about Emily?"

At Emily's name, the ice around Yuki suddenly formed into upward spikes, radiating out around her several feet. A growl came from the kitsune's throat and Asterion placed himself between the women.

Beth pushed around the minotaur. "What did she do to you? I can see it in your face, something happened."

"You wouldn't understand." The ball flickered in Yuki's hands, and she squeezed it until it popped with a bang. "And I don't feel like talking about it anymore. Come. I'd prefer to go back upstairs in case those people show up. Maybe your friend here can help me deal with them."