Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 069

Hi all!

So first thing's first, a big apology from me. You see, I promised you a big sex scene this chapter, but you are now about to learn a terrible Annabelle fact:

I suck at organization and am often easily confused. Between editing, writing and some other "life" stuff, I got my chapters wrong and made a huge goof. I even remember double-checking, but I thought I was posting this chapter, and...ugh.

Regardless, I am super sorry and will do better (please don't hate me).

The big sex scene is actually next chapter (I triple-checked!). It is a group scene, and I really hope you like it. This chapter focuses a little bit on our new character in the tub, where Reggie and Jenny have run off to, and Mike's ultimate fate after being poisoned.

Oh, and a bit of a huge revelation.

New readers, welcome! If you didn't understand any of the above, you should back up about 68 chapters or so. Don't worry, we'll wait for you.

Returning readers, welcome back! I'm working hard to keep putting these stories out as long as you keep reading them. Thanks for all your support thus far, and make sure you tell all your family and friends that you love them. You never know when the Jersey Devil may fuck up your day.

Despite my huge goof, I hope you all enjoy what happens next, cause we're living life

On The Edge

When Beth opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Lily sitting at the foot of Mike's bed. The succubus was staring at the opening to the bathroom. Lily was also unnaturally still, which was unnerving.

"Shit, what time is it?" Beth reached for her cellphone. When she turned it on, it revealed that she had thirty-eight hours remaining until the angel came back with the other horsemen. "I didn't mean to sleep so long."

"You didn't mean to pass out is far more accurate." Lily leaned back and looked over her shoulder. "But I don't blame you, being a new mom and all."

"New mom?" Beth closed her eyes, the events of the previous night rushing through her head. Lily was obviously referring to the living ooze in Mike's bathtub. Shortly after greeting her clone, she had gotten light-headed and asked for some water. The details were fuzzy after that. "Did you carry me to bed?"

"I did. That thing out there sealed your wound, but you had already lost way too much blood to be considered healthy."

"I see." She tried to sit up, the effort making her head pound. "What did I miss?"

"Death and your demon semen had a little chat. Very adorable, by the way. She speaks using ooze noises, bubbles, and snot sounds. Apparently, Death understands her." Lily sat forward, her eyes still on the bathroom. "As far as answers, we don't have many. Your spawn--"

"Can we please call her something else?" She didn't like the constant reminder of her ordeal with Oliver. "Something nicer, maybe?"

"Princess Jellyfish in there doesn't know a whole lot about herself. She has some of your memories, but they're fragmented. Told Death all about her best friend in middle school and a bunch of stuff from your parents' house. Her first real memories seem to be waking up in the tub and seeing you leaning over her."

Beth felt her breath hitch in her throat. "So she's a copy of me?"

"No. Even she admits that much. Apparently, the logical part of you she inherited is smart enough to realize she isn't you. That, and being made out of primordial ooze."

"So nobody knows what she is?"

"Gee, if only I could go to the Library and look it up." Lily rolled her eyes dramatically. "But no. She's an anomaly, which is saying something coming from me. I've seen a bunch of weird shit in my time with Amir and the Society. The stuff in that vial was essentially pure, concentrated essence of demon."

"Demon?" Beth's mouth was suddenly dry.

"Sort of. That windmill motherfucker who showed up and I are both made of the same material. Hard to believe, right?" Lily put her hands under her breasts and jiggled them. "Not only are these tits perfect, but they're nigh indestructible."

Beth pointed at Lily's wounded arm. "I beg to differ."

"Ah. Let's clarify." Lily held up her damaged arm, still sealed beneath Eulalie's webs. "That magic goop of yours is kind of like human stem cells. It can be made into pretty much anything that can potentially exist. I'm a succubus, a lesser demon. I have to follow certain rules. Despite the fact that I am made of the same substance as the Annoyer of Worlds, I have a certain vulnerability to divinity. He outranks me in the hierarchy, ergo he can hurt me."

"So you're only injured...because your cells are programmed that way?"

"Bingo. So when I say he can vaporize my ass into nothingness, I mean it." She shook her head. "Now if I was Oliver, it would be a different story. He was a high-ranking angel back before the Fall. If not for being weakened and trapped inside of mirror land, I suspect he could have bitch-slapped Mecha-Hymen out there all the way back to Daddy's love hut in the sky. Would be quite the spectacle."

Beth giggled. "You're better at nicknames than Tink is."

"Oh, please, that girl is a fucking artist." Lily tapped her horns. "We only get to hear the scrambled shit that comes out of her mouth. After things go back to normal, I might hang around in her head and see if she can teach me a thing or two."

"You can't be serious."

Lily shrugged. "I've discovered that I'm more open to improvement these days. Anyway, back to Oliver. Your loogie love child--"

"No."

"Booger-skinned baby?"

"No."

"Goo-girl?"

Beth sighed and waved her hand. She had a feeling Lily could do this all day if she chose. "Whatever. Please continue."

"Even though she's made of raw material, Oliver was the origin. I worry that somehow this is one of his tricks, and I have no way to tell." Lily crossed her arms. "Death seems to think she's great, but I can't exactly throw in with someone who tried to talk us out of the Apocalypse by discussing his tactics for finding Waldo. We also clearly have an internal affairs issue, and it's so convenient that she appeared when she did."

"Internal affairs?"

"Damn, apparently, some of your brain cells died off, too." Lily moved toward Beth, her eyes still on the bathroom. "Remember that whole 'Tink is under a magic spell and something broke out of the Vault' thing we just went through? Something is loose in the house and I have no idea what."

Beth had actually forgotten about that part. Nearly dying had that effect on her, apparently. "Where are the others?"

"Kisa is watching Tink. Tick Tock is hiding under the bed as a backpack. Cecilia is watching the front yard with Death, apparently they're becoming quite chummy. As for His Highness, I haven't seen him. Or Jenny for that matter." She paused for a second, as if lost in thought. "Or any of the fairies."

"Shit." She moved to get out of bed and groaned, barely managing to sit upright. Her joints hurt, but her head was a mess. It was as though a massive hangover had activated once she moved. "Aspirin first, Reggie and Jenny next."

"I'll get it." Lily walked into the bathroom and Beth heard some cabinets bang. When Lily returned, she was holding pills in one hand and a cup of water in the other. "Your new friend would like to speak to you."

"She would?"

"I assume so. She's been a pool of motionless slime for a couple of hours now, so the fact that she's up must mean she heard you."

"Great." Disgruntled, Beth took the aspirin and swallowed them with the water. What the hell was she supposed to say to a slime version of herself?

When she walked into the bathroom, her clone was waiting. She felt a little relieved to see that it had changed its features slightly. It still had her face, but its hair now dangled in thick, fat drops that indeed made her think of a jellyfish.

"Hey. Lily said you wanted to talk to me?"

Yes. The ooze moved its hands with purpose, but the words were tough to decipher. Beth didn't know how much of this was an inability to remember the right signs and how much was that pieces of the ooze fell off if she moved too quickly. We need to prep for mediation.

"Mediation? Oh, right. With the horsemen."

The slime nodded. This is weird for you, but it's also weird for me. I keep thinking that I should be you, and that you've somehow stolen my life from me.

Beth nodded. It made sense. If she had woken up in the bathtub as a sentient ooze, she would have assumed the same thing. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

The slime shook her head, casting sticky blue droplets onto the cold tile. No. The horsemen are coming back soon, and you need to have an answer for them.

"I get that, but I have other problems to deal with as well. Someone put Tink under a spell and opened the Vault."

I see. That sounds familiar, but my memory is blurry. Slime-Beth slumped over, and Beth half expected her to collapse back into the tub. I'm afraid that I can't help with any of that. I haven't figured out how to make legs yet.

"You're stuck in there?"

Not unless you bring a really big bucket. A thin smile appeared on Slime-Beth's face. I'm still new at this.

"Welcome to the story of my life here. Or our life, however you want to phrase it."

I was going to suggest we put our heads together to figure out how to handle the horsemen. It's stressing me out so much that I've got a case of the ripples. As if to illustrate her point, ripples spread throughout slime-Beth's body.

That is really convenient, Beth thought as she looked at the floor, pretending to consider her clone's idea. Was Slime-Beth part of some insidious plot? To what end? For all she knew, the slime had been sentient since Oliver had been filtered out of her soul.

And why was there so much of it? Did it replicate over time? There were too many questions, and the only person who might have answers was in a magical Labyrinth back on Earth. Or under it. She really had no idea how any of that worked.

"You think we should divide the work?"

Slime-Beth nodded. The angel is highly likely to consider whatever the other horsemen bring to the table. We need to find a way to counter in a way that isn't obvious.

"Agreed." If the slime was part of the plot, she wasn't really telling Beth anything she didn't already know. "I'll come up with some ideas and we can talk later?"

Slime-Beth nodded. You know where to find me. Can I have a pen and paper?

"You've got it." Beth walked out of the room and saw Lily waiting on the bed.

"And?" Lily asked.

"Apparently, she's going to brainstorm ideas to outwit the horsemen while we try to figure out what's up with the Vault."

"That's really--"

Beth put her hand over Lily's mouth. "Nice of her. C'mon, I need to get her something to write with." She didn't need the succubus voicing any more suspicions out loud and tipping off her slimy double.

Lily licked Beth's palm, then smirked when she yanked her hand away. "Lead the way."

Beth went to her room to retrieve a pen and paper. She also managed to find a couple of pencils, figuring that the pen might quit working if it got slimed. She gave everything to Slime-Beth, who thanked her and started making notes to herself.

Once out in the hallway, Lily closed the door.

"We assume she's just gonna stay in the tub and not go down the drain or anything." The succubus lifted an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"I think I hate this. Hold on." She opened the front door and walked outside. Death and Cecilia were sitting on the porch swing, deep in conversation.

"Ahem." Beth cleared her throat to get their attention, then turned toward Cecilia. "A word, if I may?"

Cecilia nodded and floated from her seated position through the chains of the swing. "Do you need something?" she asked.

"I do. Can you be invisible for a bit and keep an eye on our bathtub buddy? I just want to make sure nothing happens to her." It wasn't that she distrusted Cecilia, but what if the ooze could read her mind? Or maybe she would be able to see the banshee and the two of them would hit it off?

"I can." Cecilia waved to Death, who waved back, and then went inside. Beth followed her in, then watched Cecilia ascend the stairs, slowly vanishing with every step.

"Let's check on Kisa and Tink." Beth led the way to Kisa's bedroom on the second floor. The room itself was sparse of decoration. One of the walls was mirrored with a ballet barre and the floor consisted of polished hardwood. Kisa had a bed, a wardrobe, and a record player, and that was it.

Lying on Kisa's bed was Tink. At the foot of the bed was a large lump that opened brilliant, emerald eyes. They reflected the dim light that came in from the nearby window, and Kisa's tail twitched nervously behind her. If Beth hadn't been looking specifically for her, she doubted she would have seen her there.

"How is she?" asked Beth.

"Still out." When Kisa sat up, it almost looked like a magic trick. She could become very small when she wanted. "She keeps grinning in her sleep, so I guess that's a good sign."

"That's my doing." Lily crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Her dreams were a solid jumble. A bunch of dark corridors and angry voices. Shit ton of goblins. They sound like they're speaking German."

"Could you go in there and ask what she saw?"

Lily frowned. "I can try. Being in there isn't like other heads I've been in. It's both very abstract and intensely detailed, and she's...distracted. "

Tink giggled, then let out a gasp. She clutched the blankets tight against her body and groaned.

"Tink best wife," she muttered in her sleep, then sighed contentedly.

"Well, no time like the present." Lily sat next to Tink. "Maybe her post-nut clarity will give me some answers. Take Kisa, see if she can help you sniff out your pet rat."

"I don't track by smell." Kisa slid out of bed and stretched. Her mouth opened wide, revealing all of her teeth. "Also, I have to tell you something. I haven't been feeling the best since last night. My whole body aches like I have the flu."

"You're sick?"

"I think I had a fever for a bit, but not anymore. Felt like the flu. Seems to be fading, but..." she yawned again. "I think Tink had something similar. May have just been a bug, or whatever. She kept wincing like she was in pain. Just thought you should know. Anyway, let's go."

The two of them did a quick search of the second floor. All of the rooms that the rats used were either empty or had a few of them about. Beth questioned them about Reggie's whereabouts, but none of them gave any indication that they understood what she was asking.

The study with large viewing windows that usually looked over an unexplored mountain-range now looked directly into the insulated walls of the house. It was most likely another world like the greenhouse, but there hadn't been a safe way to explore it. Now it just looked like the symptoms of a mad architect.

The first floor was empty as well. The office and the parlor were empty, and both were so cold that Beth shivered. This led to her and Kisa stopping in Beth's room so that she could put on a sweater.

The other rooms on the third floor were also empty. The Observatory no longer looked on eerie star fields but misty skies.

She and Kisa wandered out into the hallway. Beth leaned against the railing, her eyes on the first floor. From here, she could see part of the living room and the front door. Maybe even the door of the office if she leaned forward far enough.

"Where could they be?" asked Beth. She really hoped nothing had happened to Reggie or Jenny. It was starting to feel like everything that happened was part of some overarching plot, but she also wondered how much of that was just her imagination.

"I'm out of ideas," Kisa admitted. "I can't think of anywhere else to look for them. They didn't go into the Vault, did they?"

Beth shivered. "If so, then they're stuck there until someone who actually knows how to use magic can go back in." She wondered if the Grimoire would have a spell for locating someone.

"Beth?" Kisa was looking up at the ceiling.

When Beth looked up, she saw the small string dangling from the cord that released the spring activated door to the attic. She had noticed it a handful of times, but had never once considered what might be up there.

"Worth a look," she said. "But let me get reinforcements."

By reinforcements, she meant Tick Tock. When she walked into Mike's room, she could hear sloshing sounds from the tub. Once at the bed, she laid on her belly and slid underneath to grab the mimic and pull him out. Hopefully she wouldn't need his assistance, but he also had the Grimoire.

Back in the hall, she put her hands together over her knee to give Kisa a boost. The catgirl was very light and easily leapt into the air to grab the dangling cord. The door creaked and tilted, allowing a wooden ladder to slide free. Both Beth and Kisa leapt out of the way as it smacked into the floor, chipping the wood.

"Tink's gonna be pissed," Beth muttered.

"Then don't be around when she sees it." Kisa stared up into the darkness of the attic. "Guess you want me to go first?"

"Semi-invisible, phenomenal eyesight...I could go first, but if there are any surprises, I may fall on you."

"And squish me with your big ass..." Kisa immediately covered her mouth with both hands, her ears curling down. "Oh God, I'm sorry. That's how Tink has started referring to you."

"As big ass?" Beth frowned. She didn't think her ass was that big.

"Don't think of it as an insult, it isn't about weight. To her, everyone has a bigger ass. And it really is a step up from horny lawyer. You don't really practice law anymore, and...you know what? I'll just pop up and look around." Kisa went around Beth and scrambled up the ladder. She disappeared into the darkness without a sound.

A few moments later, Kisa reappeared and held a finger to her lips, and then waved Beth up.

Strange. Beth climbed the ladder.

The attic was very dark, but there was a soft glow emanating from a corner of the attic. Kisa took Beth's hands and led her in a circuitous route around large objects that Beth couldn't quite make out. She debated using the light on her phone, but the batteries were already running low.

As her vision acclimated, she realized that the light seemed to be seeping in from below the edges of the walls. Kisa crouched down in front of her and moved her fingers along the wall. Every few moments, she thought she heard a voice. It might have been Reggie's, but it was too faint to be sure.

"I don't see a door," Beth whispered. The two of them searched, though Beth wasn't very helpful. There was enough light to make out very large objects, but that was it.

The wooden slats of the wall were relatively smooth. She ran her hands along it carefully, worried about getting a nasty splinter. What was even up here? Dark shadows loomed over her, and they were all covered in protective blankets.

Nearly on the opposite side of the light source, she found an odd seam in the wood and felt around it. It was a square shape not much bigger than a dog door. When she pressed on the middle, she heard a soft click.

The wall sprang open, and she found herself looking into a dark tunnel. A similar light illuminated the opposite end.

"Good job," whispered Kisa, which nearly made Beth scream in fright. "I'll go first."

Kisa fit easily down the tunnel, but Beth did not. Her hips smacked against the edges of the tunnel, and she had to crawl on her belly to get through. She tried to get on her hands and knees, but it made her butt bump against the ceiling.

Big ass, indeed. She scowled and continued forward. Her knees ached from contact on the hard floor, and she banged her knee more than once. The tunnel took a ninety-degree turn, and she found herself staring into what looked like a child's playroom.