Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 098

This was a good place. It had taken her a couple of years to admit it, but she felt safer within these walls of wood than she ever had beneath a mountain of stone. Down the hallway was Yuki's room. She lifted her hand to knock on the door.

"Come in." The door opened by itself, revealing Yuki's bedroom. Several easels had been set along one wall where natural light from a circular picture window could fall on them. The kitsune stood out on the balcony, her hands on the stone railing and her tails swishing behind her. Sometimes her five tails would pass through each other as if they were illusory, but each one was very real.

Ratu stepped out to join Yuki. She put her hands on the railing, her fingers sliding into tiny grooves that had been carved there by unknown artisans.

"So they're planning to betray us." Ratu leaned forward, her hair drifting on the breeze. "Cyrus revealed that they're hoping to break in while Mike's away."

"Shit." Yuki turned around and sat on the railing. "Guess that means I'm definitely staying here."

"Looks that way." It was something the two of them had discussed earlier. They were the most powerful magic users of the house, meaning it would be a bad idea for both of them to be gone at the same time. "Besides, your skillset wouldn't be as effective in a tropical location."

"Why? Because it would take way more energy to do this?" Yuki summoned a snowball into her hand and threw it at an angle along the roof. It arced through the air and exploded into powder on Abella's crouched form.

"Rude." Abella shifted only to give Yuki the finger.

The kitsune giggled, which got a sly grin from Abella. Ratu laughed as well. The gargoyle had lightened up significantly since her early days in the house. She remembered a stoic defender who rarely interacted with others, but now Abella could be seen chatting up any number of people. On more than one occasion, Grace had spent the evening on the roof while Abella read stories from her tablet to the little arachne.

Happiness had become the lifeblood of the home, and there was no doubt in Ratu's mind that Mike was at the heart of it. He had grown exponentially since their first encounter when she had tried to snare him in an enchantment to protect herself. As he grew in power, she had seen him shy away from the corruption that had gobbled up Emily.

"We each have our strengths," Ratu replied, tilting her head back to allow the sun to shine on her chest. Where Yuki's magic was almost solely in the domain of ice, her own foundations were in fire and earth. Sunbathing wasn't just a comfortable pastime for Ratu, it also empowered her magic. "Besides, I definitely don't need to be around Cyrus any longer than I have to."

"Why not?" Yuki leaned forward, her ears twitching with curiosity.

"We've met before." Ratu frowned. "Many, many years ago. He was part of a squad that came hunting for me."

"And he didn't recognize you?"

"No. I wore a much different face back then. I doubt he would ever realize we've met, but I tend to act out of an abundance of caution." Ratu sighed as old memories dredged themselves up from the mud to reveal their sharp edges. "It was back when I was a river god in what is now Indonesia. I had fled my ancestral home in India and established myself as a local deity. That was mostly accidental, as the locals had discovered that their good fortunes were timed around my arrival. I had changed my face once already in an attempt to blend in with nagas indigenous to the area."

"Why were they hunting you?"

Ratu stared at her hands, then picked off a couple of scales. She wasn't entirely certain where to begin. No matter how deep she pushed the past, it still hurt to examine it.

"They weren't technically hunting me. A rogue naga had arrived in the area, stirring up trouble. This one was particularly duplicitous, because he would manifest and rain terrible magic down on the mortals, but only in his serpentine form. Eventually rumors spread and the Order arrived. What I could not predict was that he would poison their ears, convincing them that he had information about who was causing trouble."

"Wait, so you're saying he stirred the pot and then blamed you for it? Why?" Yuki's tails swished behind her, making a sound like silk across stone.

"Because he couldn't find me on his own." Ratu lifted her eyes to meet Yuki's gaze head on. "He had no influence in the area, so brought in people to assist him in his search. With the Order's help, they were able to track me. You see, I had made a critical mistake during my divine reign. In my attempts to avoid scrutiny, I had created a small paradise for the people who survived on my river. If nothing bad ever happened, certainly there should never be a reason to come investigate. But this became the means by which I was discovered."

"Damn. What happened then?"

"I was attacked. The Order and the naga were formidable, but it became clear during our confrontation that he had been using them. You see, the Order wanted to take me in. They had questions and needed answers. But my pursuer was not interested in their questions. Once he saw me, he attacked the Order, and it was through my intervention alone that they survived." Ratu could hear their screams across the decades, men and women caught up in a storm of earth.

"What was this asshole's deal? Sounds like a real piece of shit."

Ratu chuckled. "Indeed. He was very angry with me because I humiliated him in front of our entire tribe, ruined his reputation and destroyed his status. I became his obsession, his sole reason for existing. And despite not seeing him for centuries, that look of sheer delight and anger when we met once more..." She shivered, picturing those cruel, mud-flecked eyes.

"Who was he?" Yuki was leaning forward so far that it looked like she could tip at any moment.

"My betrothed," Ratu replied, closing the door on her feelings. This was a story that had remained untold since Emily had found her running from the Order. "We grew up together and were always close. It was a long engagement and neither of us were in a hurry. But as the wedding drew closer, he changed. We went from being equals to...I'm not entirely sure. His kind words became sharp, and his actions rough. He became jealous of others who spent time with me, and I eventually realized that the man I was about to marry had been wearing a mask my whole life."

"And so you left him?"

Ratu nodded, staring at the ground. "I did. The night before our wedding, he came to my room and asked to talk. He used sweet words to convince me that the stress of the wedding had caused these outbursts, and that he couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. We were planning to move into a mountain range to the north and start a tribe of our own. During this talk, I forgave him, and that's when his mask slipped one more time.

"You see, our engagement had been long, and we had been lovers for some time. But for weeks before the wedding, I had stopped having sex with him as a form of protest. Upon being forgiven, he demanded that I make up this lost time and spend the night with him. When I told him no, he struck me in anger. That was when I understood that he would never be worthy of my love, and it hurt. He knew how to act around others, how to sweeten the air with honeyed words and elevate his own status. And so I fled in the middle of the night." Ratu hugged herself. It suddenly felt so cold.

"And he came after you?"

"Not quite. I used an enchantment to create a simulacrum, an illusory double made of clay, and left it in my stead. During the ceremony, it openly accused him of his transgressions. He didn't realize that he was dealing with my clone, and so struck it down in front of everyone. This single act divided the tribe, and he was sent into exile by his own family. Still, I couldn't trust anyone with the secret of my location, and--"

There was the gentle click of stone on stone, and Abella was there, embracing the naga from behind.

"I know this pain," she whispered. "And I am sorry to hear that you do, too."

Surprised, Ratu was about to say something else when Yuki hugged her also. Both women clung to Ratu like she was about to disappear. It was actually kind of silly. In fact, she would have told them how silly it was if the dam inside her hadn't broken open just then, soaking all three of them in tears.

It was almost dinner time when Mike stepped into his backyard. He had spent the better part of the afternoon packing and making plans with everyone else regarding the home's defenses while they were gone. After a visit to the Library, Eulalie was now ramping up her digital infiltration. If the Order ever found out that a good chunk of her hacking was just magical rats who could plug in a USB drive, they would be both angry and embarrassed.

What used to be a handful of steps to Naia's fountain now involved two flights of stone stairs and navigating beautiful topiary shaped like magical creatures. This was partially the work of the centaurs, but most of the job was done by Amymone. Though the dryad was locked to her tree, she could influence all of the plants on the property as long as the roots of her tree could reach them.

At the bottom of the stairs, he smiled at the sight of Callisto and Grace sitting on the edge of Naia's fountain. Next to them, Death was busy telling a story, his bony hands waving around dramatically. He had pulled his hood back and now wore sunglasses and a baseball cap with a Punisher skull on it. Naia sat behind all three of them, her chin in her hands as she listened in on the story. When Death pantomimed swinging a bat, Mike chuckled to himself.

"And that is how I helped Santa Claus save Christmas yet again," Death declared, then looked up at Mike. "Though I suppose your father has already told you that story."

"He hasn't! Why didn't you tell us you saved Santa again?" Callisto's tone was accusatory.

"That's a good question. Death, are you filling my children's heads with nonsense?"

"Why of course, Mike Radley. What better use does nonsense serve than to stuff it into a child's head and grow their imagination? It's like fertilizer." Death knelt down to look at both children. "Though I admit I may have embellished some parts."

"Uncle Deaaaath." Callisto rolled his eyes in a way that only a child could, then looked at Mike. "Mom is looking for you."

Mike scratched the back of his head and winced. "How mad is she?" he asked.

Callisto shrugged. "She's referring to you today as 'that bastard.'"

"That's an improvement from yesterday, then." He held out his arms and Grace scrambled his way, only to climb up his back and cling to his head and shoulders. "That's not what I had in mind," he muttered.

Grace hissed and started chewing on his hair.

"Cal, go let your mom know I'm here for whatever she needs. I have to speak with Aunt Naia." Mike looked at the nymph and realized his son was still standing there. "About grown up stuff."

"Aw, man." Callisto trotted off toward the greenhouse. Death declared that it was tea time and left them alone.

"Hello, lover." Naia smiled, her eyes flicking up to where Grace clung to him. "I don't know what you need from me, but you've still got a pair of little ears."

"It's not you I need to speak with." He raised an eyebrow. "If you catch my drift."

Naia pouted. "And here I thought you were going to spend some time with me before ditching us all for an island paradise."

"No place on Earth could compare to being by your side." He reached up and poked his daughter's belly. "Hey. I don't care if you chew, but no pulling."

Grace hissed in agreement, content to munch on his hair. He probably shouldn't let her do that, but he had already committed to the idea that there were worse ways to screw up his magical half-breed children.

Naia closed her eyes for a moment, the fountain swirling into intricate shapes behind her. The runes on her body glowed, and when the nymph opened her eyes, the pupils had changed from blue to gold.

"Greetings, Caretaker."

"Hestia." Mike bowed his head in respect, causing his daughter to tilt forward and almost fall. "Thank you for meeting with me."

"Of course. We have much to discuss." The nymph, now possessed by the goddess Hestia, reached out and patted Grace on the head. "She is growing so quickly."

"Yes, she is." Though Hestia was privy to events that occurred inside the home, he treated her like a visiting relative and talked about his family. He had learned shortly after his first meeting with the goddess that she enjoyed hearing accounts first hand from him. She also didn't always manifest when requested. Mike hadn't met many gods, but had learned they all had their quirks.

"I wanted to speak with you about the Order and Hawaii." Mike sat on a chair by the fountain's edge, which caused Grace to shift to his chest and start chewing on the collar of his shirt.

"What would you like to know?" Hestia asked.

"Is there anything about Hawaii you can tell me? Quetzalli thinks there might be a dragon there."

"Interesting." Hestia closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm afraid there isn't much I know, the secrets of the island were never mine to possess. It was one of the first properties acquired by a Caretaker, but not in the traditional sense."

"Oh?" There were numerous properties across the planet like his own, each one host to a god and part of some big event called the Great Game. Typically, these properties only changed hands when the mortal in charge of them died. If that person was killed by another player in the Great Game, the property became part of the winner's collection and was passed on. It was how Mike owned a cabin in Oregon and a castle in Ireland, as well as the land in Hawaii. He had no part in acquiring them, but they were now his. If the owner died of other causes, however, the magic of the property would seek out someone qualified to take over.

Hestia nodded and opened her eyes. "Instead of someone being defeated, the land was given to a prior Caretaker by its owner. Whoever was caring for the land decided it would be in better hands this way. I don't know what circumstances prompted this, but I vaguely recall it had something to do with its guardian."

The guardian of a property was a mythical being in charge of selecting a new player. In Mike's case, the guardian had been Naia. During the selection process, she could have simply drowned him if he was unfit to take care of the home. In a lot of ways, he was still uncertain why she had chosen him in the first place. He had moved into the home as a damaged, emotional mess, and there was really no reason for her to have let him survive their encounter.

Yet here he was, the man in charge of a home full of monsters who all got along and helped raise his children. In his case, Naia had chosen correctly. The journey had been fraught with peril and the temptation of power, but he had yet to succumb as his predecessor Emily had.

"Do you remember anything about the guardian?" Mike shifted Grace so that she chewed on the other side of his shirt. Luckily, she wasn't a drooler.

"I don't. Could be the geas, or could be that I never knew." Hestia's eyes shimmered. "Now ask me about the Order. My time is growing short."

"Can the home protect everyone from them in my absence? I have every reason to believe it will, but..."

"You want reassurances." Hestia nodded. "Your family is safer now within my walls than it has ever been. It would require either gross negligence on their part or an unforeseen act of magic to breach this property."

Mike let out a sigh. "Thanks. That's what I was worried about the most. I must admit, I'm hesitant about leaving, but I get the feeling that it's the right thing to do."

Hestia nodded, then reached out for him. Her fingers stroked lightly at his cheeks, sending a cool tingle through his whole body.

"Trust your instincts, my champion." Hestia's eyes fluttered and her eyes changed blue again as the goddess withdrew from Naia's body.

"Oh!" Naia exclaimed, then shivered. "I always feel so warm when she's been here."

"I'm happy to hear that." Mike ran his hands through Naia's hair, then had to pull a strand of it out of Grace's mouth. After Hestia had revealed herself, Mike had made the goddess promise to speak through Naia only with her knowledge and permission. Naia had been more than willing to accommodate the goddess, but Mike felt a lot better knowing that the nymph was a willing participant.

"There you are." Zel came around the side of the house, followed closely by Callisto. The two trotted over in unison, but Callisto stopped at Amymone's tree when the dryad showed him a book with a dragon on the cover. He could already read on his own and had found a kindred soul in the dryad, who was willing to read anything to or with him.

Mike covered Grace's ears. "Okay, I'm ready."

Zel rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to yell at you again. Not yet, anyway. Plenty of time for you to get into trouble."

He nodded. "I'll do my best to avoid it, but it has a habit of finding me."

She groaned and shook her head. "It really does. Which is why I would prefer there be no more field trips with our child."

Mike opened his mouth to argue, but closed it. The last thing he needed was to start an argument with Zel right before leaving. It was something they could talk about after he came back. "So what do you need me for?"

Zel pulled a pouch that had been strapped to her waist and handed it over. "I made some potions for you and Beth."

The handcrafted leather pouch was sealed with a strap wrapped around a button. Mike undid the tie and opened the pouch to reveal a few screw jars with yellow balm inside.

"The yellow stuff is sunscreen. It's completely waterproof and will repel both bugs and sharks."

"Sharks?" He opened a jar and sniffed it. It had a vague vanilla scent. Grace promptly hissed and hopped down to the ground and wandered over to join Callisto and Amymone. "How do you know it repels sharks?"

Zel shrugged. "I don't question the alchemy of ancient centaurs. When they say it repels sharks, I believe them. Not like I have a good way to test it out."

"Good call, and..." Mike laughed and pulled out a slim vial of a glittering red powder. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Mandragora pollen? Yes." She chuckled as her tail swished back and forth. "That's all I was able to collect from some dying pods in the woods. We still haven't located the main plant. I almost wonder if it's underground."

"It could be," said Amymone from her tree. "If it would ever send some roots back up here, I would ask it for you."

"We would love that. The last thing we need is to run afoul of that plant." Zel looked at Mike knowingly. "Especially if it's hungry."

Mike nodded, knowing full well what the plant was capable of. "So do I throw this?"

"You can. This version is water soluble, so you could dilute it." She put her hands on his wrists. "Be very careful with it."

"Yes, ma'am. Anything else?"

"While you're gone, we're going to increase the centaur presence in response to the Order, but only through the greenhouse. The rats are already shutting down shortcuts to prevent unauthorized access. So if you need us, you'll have to come the long way." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "Now promise me you'll come back safe."

"I promise."

"And what will I do if you break that promise?"

"Find me, bring me back, then kill me?"

"Good. We understand each other." She stepped back and held him at arm's length. "Our son needs you. I need you. Don't forget that, you bastard."

The game is officially on! The Order vs the House, who will come out on top?

I'm sure you have so many questions, and I promise they will be answered in the chapters ahead. Who is the Director? What's Mike gonna do with his new sex bomb? Will we get mermaids?!?