All Comments on 'Home for the Holidays'

A nice little story. I think I missed the first part but this one was okay. Before you get another one out please get an EDITOR. Don’t mess up you stories by distracting your readers from your tale.

"Let's eat, Grandma!"

"Let's eat Granma!"

Commas save lives. Learn how to use them, and basically all punctuation, as well as how to avoid useless phrases that add nothing, how to proof read for obvious spelling errors, etc.

It would probably be better just to tell you how to write.

And editor would be useful, if you could find one willing to put in the immense effort required to resuscitate your writing.

I know I wouldn't do it. Not for free.

Might be cheaper to just hire a ghost writer.

2 stars. Better mechanics would raise it to 3, but never higher because the storyline is so mundane.

I loved it but it did need an editor? For example, who is Sam? Still fucking hot, though! Five stars and a favorite point!

Punctuation, Missing words, misspelled words. These were all distracting.