All Comments on 'Honeymoon'

I thought it was pretty entertaining for a MC story. Bit of a rough/sudden start, though.

Very good story. You make a switch from first person to third and back mid story which is a tad distracting (I to "she") but otherwise well done.

Nicely done

Sorry you didn't enjoy it. I left the actual mind control out of scene because I wanted it to be about her figuring out what had happened. I guess it didn't work for you though.

I realized after seeing some of the comments that as originally written the story is written in third person with the main character's thoughts in italics. Unfortunately I submitted the story via text and the formatting was lost. My apologies, I'm a new author and still learning the site's quirks. I hope it doesn't make it too difficult to read.

Thank you for the explanation.

It actually showed some growth on the ladies part. Not sure about the male, but whatever.

Glad you wrote it. I looked into your other stories and decided not to read them. Not into BSDM.

Fix the point of view, explain - maybe in another chapter - how this came to be. maybe a little more to the world, the cattiness was good; but interesting idea and different from a lot of stuff on this section.

enjoyed reading

Gotta love Karma