Honeymoon Manor Ch. 02

Note: This whole story is a chapter-tradeoff collaboration with Carol J. This chapter serves as companion to Carol J's own branched-off story following Ricard. That said, I beg, no, implore you to go read Carol_J's work--it's breathtaking stuff!

Not a ton of sex in this chapter, but lots of mind games! :)

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I really hope Ricard is having an easier time of this than I am, Felix thought as he ascended the steep staircase. He was still sucking off his fingers, savoring the sweetness of the cupcake the Keyhole Maiden had rewarded him with (it was a bit too sweet by most measures, but to Felix, that was a sign that somebody out there knew how important sugar was to any culinary delight). If he's had to climb half this many stairs, he'll be a mess!

Not that Ricard was necessarily weak, of course. But in Felix's measurement, the fellow was really only in shape for one reason, and it was not to climb stairs.

Felix had begun this climb taking it three steps at a time, a spring in his step, eager to advance onward. He was certainly over that phase now. He was drenched, his clothes stinking of perspiration and general exertion. His heart was beating fast, and his footfalls were slow and heavy. Surely, even by the pace of his current size, he had to be coming close to the attic at this point!

And as he thought that, Felix came around the corner and found a rather abrupt end to the endless steps.

He had reached the top of the shaft. The stairs cut off to a deadly drop, and across the gap stood an archway carved in stone. Felix's eyes widened in delight, even as he eyed the drop. It's really, really good I'm not scared of heights.

Of course, the gangly locksmith barely had to hop to make it to the other side, and he did so with utter glee. He was so eager to be rid of the cursed stairs, he almost didn't notice the inscription above the archway.

Almost.

Felix, he chided himself, hopping back onto the final step, you mustn't be so hasty! It's not a race! Stop and smell the roses once in a while!

He turned to face the subtle scratchings.

The dancer of the dizzy-ditzy-daze-dazzled maze

Takes a spin on one foot, and he sways, in a haze

Takes in a deep breath, and he gives 'em a bow

Then he falls to the floor--and he's all ours now!

Behind every boy is a head full of flowers now.

Felix hummed under his breath. "Takes a spin on one foot," he mumbled, trying to find the rhythm. "No, no, it's completely nonsensical. What a mess. Fey might be fun in a party, but I don't know what kind of meter this is supposed to follow at all. Maybe everyone's just too drunk to notice."

He reached up and traced the inscription. Surely this was some sort of riddle, but he couldn't find any trick to it. Maybe it would make sense in the next room. Or maybe it was just a silly song meant to make him nervous about what was to come.

Disappointed, he pouted and hopped back over, passing under the archway and into a long, dark tunnel. This dungeon really was a bit of a disappointment in the puzzle room department so far.

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As Felix continued onward, he sniffed the air curiously. This surprisingly long tunnel was starting to smell rather interesting. The staircase had been a dank, musty affair--as one might expect traveling through what probably served as a ventilation shaft. But this tunnel smelled almost...

Floral?

He studied the walls curiously. Was the smell being carried from elsewhere in the house? Then why did it smell so fresh? Reaching forward, he ran a hand over the wall before him. It was curiously smooth. Bumpy. Was it some sort of tiling? Perhaps... a mosaic?

In a flash, Felix had whipped out a candle, and before it even occurred to him that creating a light might alert others to his presence, he'd set the match to the wick.

The walls exploded in color as light bloomed around him. Felix realized he was surrounded by lovely tile mosaics of men and women prancing through meadows of flowers, fruits, pumpkins and amber fields of wheat. Here and there danced merry green women and men as well, as well as numerous hopping rabbits.

It was quite a pretty design, really, though the art was extremely simplistic. Each tile was about the size of a fingernail, and even so, it was hard to get very detailed with such a vast image. He noticed one man taking a bow who was particularly simplified--his head was just represented by a single diamond-shaped brown tile.

Felix blinked. "Oh... oh!"

Mosaic puzzles were easy, but so, so satisfying. Giggling with delight, Felix hopped about, eagerly seeking out every man whose head was single-tiled. Sure enough, there were a number of them in the distant background.

Not the most intuitive puzzle for a rookie, but you only had to deal with two or three such riddle rooms to notice the clichés in dungeon design. Clearly, Felix noted, fey were no different.

The tiles sank into the walls with satisfying clicks. He noticed a man doing a merry jig atop a stage, and pressed his head in with a grin. Next, he found a man being spun around by a group of giggling green women, then a drunk one swaying, then one stumbling through a foggy pollen field, led by a rabbit on a leash.

There were eight boys in total as Felix skipped forward, searching with bright eyes for every last button. At last, he spotted the eighth sitting within an old gazebo, immersed in a mass of poppies as fluffy bunnies crawled all over him. The gazebo looked almost cage-like in the simple mosaic, and it took Felix a while to notice its occupants.

As the last tile sank in, the world around him gave off a curious shimmer. The walls began to glow. Felix was forced to cover his eyes as the glow became almost radiant, and a wind rushed by from up the tunnel, quickly extinguishing his candle.

"Oh, goodness gracious! Took you long enough, didn't it?"

Felix did a spin, swayed, then straightened, blinking away the glare as the lights faded. His surroundings had totally changed.

The walls were gone. The tunnel was gone. Instead, he was now in some sort of vast crawlspace at least fifty feet across.

And brilliantly glowing flowers were everywhere.

Up ahead, wooden walls were broken by a single wide archway leading into darkness. Sitting in a rocking chair, grinning mischievously at him, was a woman who struck Felix as... well, pardoning the vague descriptor, just a little bit odd.

In strictest terms, she most closely resembled a woman, with bouncy blonde curls, milky skin that was just a little too pale to look healthy or conventionally attractive, and a colorful violet dress and green leather coat. The clothes were a little bit odd, of course. The dress was lovely--a summer dress, and more than a little reminiscent of a nightgown in how revealing it was--but it certainly did not match that coat.

In less strict terms, she rather resembled a rabbit. A hare, to be precise--or perhaps a bunny. Felix wasn't great at zoology. Two floppy rabbit ears bobbed from atop her head, and from the way she sat, he rather suspected she had a bushy little white tail to match. Her nose was very small, and just slightly reminiscent of a muzzle, though not quite enough to trigger an Uncanny Valley effect like her skin tone did.

She was a little bit plump, and quite short, adding to his 'bunny' suspicions (Felix once again noted to himself that he was not actually really certain of how rabbit species were classified, but he knew hares were quite long and thin, because he never seemed to be able to catch one). With her jacket open and her revealing dress, he could see that her hips were quite wide, but by contrast, her breasts were just the size of rather large apples, or rather small cantaloupes--albeit quite clearly perky and filled out.

He also noticed that she wasn't looking directly at him as she approached. And as he drew nearer, openly staring at the curious woman, he noticed the pink hue of her eyes was not some natural fey effect.

The bunny was blind.

But her ears twitched as he took one last step, and she continued to follow his movements loosely as he advanced. So, very good hearing--and possibly very good smell, judging by how her nose was twitching--but very poor vision, assuming she wasn't completely sightless.

Felix bowed. "Good morning, Miss Rabbit!"

"Oh, come on, then." The bunny wrinkled her nose. "'Miss Rabbit'? Okay, Mister Human, good morning to you, too!" She rapped her fingernails irritably on the red box she held, and Felix simultaneously noticed how long and sharp her nails were and that she was holding a large box of what appeared to be chocolates. "My name is Cocoa, for your edification. Miss Cocoa, if you please, but if you're in a hurry, 'Miss' or 'Cocoa' do fine. And you're in quite a hurry, oh, yes, a dreadful rush indeed, seeing as you're already running late." Her nails continued to rap on the box as she spoke. Put-a-prup. Put-a-prup. Put-a-prup. "Or you can go with no name, of course, but then where are we, Mister Human? We're absolutely nowhere, that's where, and nameless, to boot! No, it won't do. Very absurd of you to suggest it. Extremely silly. Why don't I call you 'Silly', and you call me 'Cocoa', and we put this silliness behind us?"

Felix blinked.

Well, that wasn't very subtle at...

Put-a-prup. Put-a-prup. The sound made his head tingle pleasantly. It was very rhythmic. He imagined it would make very effective hypnosis for someone who could be affected by magic.

"I, ah... might I ask what you have there?" He gestured to the chocolates.

"What I have where?" Put-a-prup. "Are you pointing? Here's a tip for you: Just tell me what you need, Silly, and I'll try to help you. Sound good?" Put-a-prup.

"I suppose so." Felix withdrew his hand and rubbed it guiltily. "What's the, um, chocolates?"

"You're running late already, and you're asking about chocolates?" Put-a-prup. "Silly, have you got candy on the brain? Terribly unhealthy. Very silly to eat chocolates at a time like this."

He frowned. "But you have--"

"Very little time!" chirped the bunny, before he could finish his thought. She rocked back and forth in her rocking chair. Put-a-prup. Put-a-prup. "Yes, Silly, oh, boy, you're running out of time! You're running very late already!"

"Late for what?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't quite catch that." Put-a-prap. "Come closer, Silly." Put-a-prap. "Come and whisper it into my ear."

Felix took a step forward, then stopped himself. That was a bit reckless, even for him. The memory of the Keyhole Maiden's drowning pleasure still hung like a fog over his mind--or a foreboding cloud to remind him just what fey could do to you.

Then again, this wasn't some sort of deadly pleasure elemental. He bit his lip. This was just a bunny girl--perhaps the victim of a curse, or some manner of fey he wasn't familiar with. Still...

"Listen," he said slowly.

"I'm listening, Silly." The bunny giggled. "Have you got anything to say? Well, sweethead? You're taking an awful long time to say it, if so."

"I'm just trying to get out of here," Felix said, choosing his words carefully. He wished Ricard were here--that man could lawyer his way out of Hell's own tithes and convince the Devil to take his place. "Or... meet up with a friend of mine. But I seem to be in some sort of attic, now, and I have no idea if I'm headed the right way. I don't suppose I could persuade you to part with some directions?"

"Directions? What, like north, south, all those?" Put-a-prup. Put-a-prup. "Silly, there are so many of these things. You really need them?'

Felix laughed. "No, I mean, like, to--"

"Or you want a path." Her eyelashes fluttered, and Felix shook himself slightly, realizing he'd been staring at her pale pink sightless eyes. "Is that what you want, Silly? Do you need my help navigating the maze?"

"Maze?" Felix stared blankly at her. He glanced ahead at the archway, mind ticking away. So it was a maze of some sort?

The bunny blinked, observing his puzzlement. She giggled. "Oh, Silly, you seem so confused."

His eyes returned to her. "No, I--"

"Do you not know of the Labyrinth of Gloom?" Her eyebrows arched. "Really, now, Silly, that's quite careless of you."

"The Labyr--"

"Silly, you really must try to finish a full sentence!" She frowned. "If you're able, I mean. It would do you some good to get your own thoughts in order for a change, instead of me having to do it for you."

Felix's face was heating up. "W-Well, you keep--"

"We're wasting so much time on this, Silly." Cocoa sighed. "Do you want a guide or not?"

Felix was starting to lose his temper, but this quickly evaporated into surprise and curiosity when she said this. "A... guide?"

"Yes, Silly," the bunny said patiently, rapping her fingers on the chocolate box. Put-a-prup. "A guide through the maze."

Felix frowned. "Well, I'm..." His first instinct was to thank her and accept--he had no wish to get lost in a maze while Ricard braved the Manor's perils (and loot) alone--but a nagging voice cautioned him. Did he really want some sort of fey or... or monster as his companion? She had to be here for a reason, after all. The odds of her being some sort of friendly third party willing to help travelers out weren't nil, but they weren't exactly above-even, either.

On the other hand, with his immunities to hypnosis and enchantment, getting lost in the maze and starving to death were a little bit more pressing as dangers than getting taken down by a blind bunny shortstack.

Still... she might try to mislead him. Trap him. At least if he was following a set of stated directions, he wouldn't have to worry about her activating anything along the way. He grimaced. This was all very complicated, but his gut was telling him it was best to say 'no' to everything on principle. "I'm very grateful, but what I would actually like is..."

"Is what, Silly?" Cocoa asked, blinking brightly up in his direction.

Gods, she talked so quickly. Her voice was like a whirring pinwheel, bright and colorful and absolutely incessant.

"Um... well, first, I should say that my name is Felix." He frowned at the bunny. "I know you're thinking to play some sort of game there, and I've been told I send mixed signals, so to be very clear, Felix is what I like to be called. And second, I'd really rather get directions."

"Oh, you'll get them, not to fret!" The bunny winked. "I'll show you exactly where to go. I know direction is just what boys like you need, Silly."

Felix grimaced. "I mean, if you could just explain them to me in person?"

"In person?" Cocoa raised her eyebrows. "Oh, that would never work. No, you would run out of thought too quickly!"

"I don't think I--"

"Oh, yes, Silly," the bunny sang, "you'd run out of thought before I'd even got through the third turn. There's just so many twists and turns, so many tangles and twines." Put-a-prup. "It's enough to make a silly fellow like you, who can't even get a full sentence out, just so awfully confused, don't you think?"

"Um." Felix frowned. "No."

"Well, of course you'd say that." Put-a-prup. "You're already so dreadfully confused and thoughtless, Silly. So confused from all these long thoughts to think..." Her voice took on a husky, mesmerizing quality.

"I, um..." Felix swallowed. "I would rather go alone, if you... don't mind."

Her words couldn't do anything to his mind. Felix was a Witch Hunter, after all. But the way she kept licking her lips, and the sly, sensuous way she spoke, was making Felix more than a little... bothered.

"Oh, very well." The bunny seemed disappointed, but not terribly concerned. "But the Gloom Maze won't allow any magicless lights. So tell me, have you got a magical torch?"

Felix swallowed. Didn't Ricard have one of those? Or... wait, was that the torch that that one salamander spirit ate to power a distant dying sun for another ten thousand years? Oh, it's been so long...

Regardless, Felix had to admit that he had not.

"Oh... that's a shame." The bunny grimaced, gesturing back towards the field of flowers. "You'll need a bouquet, then. Their glow will last when held in the hands of one with a pure soul. A mortal human such as yourself."

"Flowers?"

The bunny gave an uncommonly wide grin. "A handful of daisies, plus three bachelor buttons. That should see you through very well."

Luckily, there was a patch of daisies right by the bunny's rocking chair. That find was easy, and he happily scooped up the curious daisies--all with brilliant yellow petals. As soon as he plucked them, they started to glow. The glow filled his sight, forcing him to blink rapidly to clear his vision. The scent washed over him, calming and sweet.

He took a deep breath and smiled. He hadn't seen flowers like this in months, thanks to the early autumn. Now to find the bachelor buttons.

After a short scan, he located a sprig growing nearby a shimmering little pond--This house's architecture really is something. "Aha!" he exclaimed, stooping to pluck a blossom.

"Don't forget," called Cocoa sweetly, "mustn't breathe too deep of the pollen!"

"Hm?" Without thinking, Felix gave the flower a sniff.

Dizziness washed over him in a rolling wave. He stared, lips parting, as the world seemed to ripple before him. For a moment, he thought he was falling forward into the flowers.

He quickly tucked the blue blossom amid the bouquet, and sure enough, the glow increased--but so did the scents.

Oh. It smelled so... so very...

... nice. He breathed in without even thinking about it, and the dizziness came back--weaker this time, but enough to make him clamp a hand to his mouth and nose.

He still needed two more.

Humming softly in an effort to distract himself, Felix stooped down to pick the other two flowers, But as he did, he had to uncover his mouth and nose, and he found himself inadvertently pressing his own face amid the blossoms.

As he did, the sweet scent of the two blossoms--and the daisies--flooded his mind like a falling cloud. His hums turned into helpless moans as he swayed, struggling to remain upright.

He managed to pull back, blinking blearily as his mind drifted.

"How's it going, Silly?" called Cocoa.

Felix shook himself slightly, trying to clear his head. It didn't work. "Fuzzy," he managed.

"Oh, right. I forgot mortals had trouble with those flowers!" The amused tone of her voice indicated she had not really forgotten. "Well, it sounds like you only need one more bluebottle, so hop to it! No sense in letting your senses be lost to breathing in all those sweet smells, is there?"

"N-no," Felix mumbled, reaching forward, almost in a haze. "There's... no... sense..."

He was so dizzy, so fogged up, it felt like an eternity before his fingers settled around the stem of the flower. His eyelids fluttered.

He felt a soft hand encircle his own and guide him to pick the flower. "There you go," cooed a voice in his ear. "That wasn't so hard, was it, Silly?"

"Nnnno," he said, his lips tripping over the word as he felt Cocoa pulling him back into her arms. "Not... so... hard."

"You're running even later now," the short, plump bunny said, giggling as her arms encircled his torso. "Dreadfully late. No harm in being a bit later, I should think, is there?"

"No... harm..." His eyelids were beginning to drift shut. They were so heavy, and her voice was so soothing...

"No, of course not," she agreed, and he felt her hand running down his body, rubbing in a way that could almost be accidental over his cock. "The ship's really sailed, hasn't it? You might as well enjoy yourself."