tagHumor & SatireHooligans Harbor Episode 01

Hooligans Harbor Episode 01



Hooligan -- Horny Goofball shipmate

Captain Johan Grumpy -- Captain of the S.S. Phallic

Lovely & Thirsty Powell -- Multi Millionaires -- money comes from Adult Toy & Video Sales

Sara Caldwell -"Doctor" - Nerdy sex psychologist/ with a minor in bugs. Has a dark desire

MaryEllen Springs- sweet not so innocent likes to explore

Saffron - Porn Star


Opening scene:

The midday sun was warm on their skin as they patiently waited for the Captain and his shipmate Holligan to prepare the boat for the short tour around the islands. The guests, five in all, were killing time before they could eventually check in at their hotels.

The Captain looked over his manifest of passengers. Saffron, Dr. Sara Caldwell, MaryEllen Springs.

Then there was Mr. & Mrs. Powell. Lovely and Thirsty. Unusual name thought the Captain as he looked over the list once more.

Lovely was a good word to describe Mrs. Powell he thought. Older, yet attractive. Long black hair, full lips, nice figure, nothing to big or too small. Thirsty Powell looked like a man who was accustomed to getting what he wants. Well dressed, Rolex watch, Bentley Platinum Sunglasses, and designer shorts and shirt.

Dr. Sara Caldwell. He wondered what she was a doctor of. She was tall for a woman, nearly six-foot. Large breasts, nice ass, and legs that could wrap around a sailor and squeeze. She had long sandy blonde hair and wore dark rimmed glasses. She looked smart.

MaryEllen Springs was a bubbly twenty-one year old. Short, only five two, small breasts, hair barely past her neck and wearing pigtails. Always smiling and flirting. Short shorts and tube top over her bikini.

Finally, he looked at Saffron. Red hair, gorgeous face, large breasts, thin waist, curvy hips, wearing high heals, short shorts, bikini top and large brimmed hat. Clearly trying to disguise her good looks, or maybe to hide the fact she was hung over.

It appeared that none personally knew the other, although Hooligan thought he recognized Saffron from one of her recent movies, 'Horny Hilo Helicopter Ride III'. He took everyone's luggage and put it on the boat and told the Captain he was all set.

"Hello folks, welcome aboard the S.S. Phallic. I'm your Captain, Johan Grumpy. Just call me Captain. This is a great little boat and we'll shove off in just a minute. Please make yourselves comfortable, Hooligan will bring you beverages in a minute."

"Hooligan!" shouted the Captain, "Shove off!"

Hooligan removed the moorings and threw the ropes to the dock, along with the anchor. He realized too late and sheepishly looked back to the Captain, but he had his back to Hooligan and didn't notice.

The mighty little sailing ship motored through the marina and Hooligan began his task of handing out the tropical punch to each person.

"Egad! This is awful. I can't taste any alcohol!" gasped Thirsty Powell.

"Boy! Get my luggage and I'll show you how to make a Martini."

"Yes sir, Mr. Powell. Which suitcase?" Hooligan asked.

"Any of them my boy! There's a bottle in each. Ha!"

Hooligan did as asked and brought out a small carry on bag.

"Not THAT one!" Mr. Powell shouted and grabbed it from Hooligans arms.

"That's Mrs. Powell's special bag of goodies. Grab another one. The trunk is full of bottles."

Hooligan went below deck and lugged up the trunk that Mr. Powell was talking about.The Captain came down from his drivers perch to talk with his guests just as Hooligan dropped Mr. Powell's trunk down, landing right on the Captains foot.

"Ooh!" yelled the Captain as he hopped around the boat in pain.

"Hooligan!" he shouted as he removed his Captains hat and hit Hooligan over the head with it.

"Sorry folks. As I was about to say, we're going to sail around the islands for a few hours, There's plenty of room up front if you want to lay out and relax. Back here on the stern or if you want to get out of the sun, you can go below deck and lie down. So just enjoy yourself and let Hooligan or I know if we can do anything for you."

Snorkel gear was available for anyone who wanted to try. The Captain informed them of a couple of spots that were good although they were a little out-of-the-way. He had set the autopilot to head due west while he and Hooligan attended to the passengers.

A larger wave struck the ship and Hooligan bumped the autopilot switching it off and the ship began to sail off course. He carried a large bowl of the tropical punch in his arms when the ship hit another wave causing him to lose his balance. Try as he might to save the punch, he spilled it on the Captain.

While the Captain went below to change his shirt, Hooligan got a mop to clean up the punch. The ship hit another large wave and Hooligan fell against the controls, breaking the radio antenna and the compass. He didn't tell the Captain.

The ship continued to motor on and turned ever so slightly from the originally intended direction. Meanwhile, Saffron and MaryEllen moved to the front of the ship and laid in the sun to tan themselves.

Mr. & Mrs. Powell continued to drink and the Doctor continued to read her book. The front cover read 'The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell, but she stapled that over the real stories she was reading. Erotica. Short Stories, by Kinkynkazoo. An author of some repute who wrote personal stories for and about others fantasies. His other pen name, Newkinkstories were also included.

"Whatever are you reading dear?" Lovely Powell asked the Doctor.

"What? Oh! Just getting ideas." she truthfully told the elder woman.

"Well, I'm no psychologist, but I noticed you twirling your hair, biting your lower lip and your breathing has quickened."

The Doctor, sat up, straightened her shirt and put her book in her backpack, before replying.

"Studying one's mind does tend to fascinate me. I'm Doctor Sara Caldwell." she said extending her hand.

Lovely took the offered hand, but instead of shaking it, she placed it on her breast.

"I'm very pleased to meet you Doctor. I'm Lovely. Lovely Powell."

"Yes, you are. Um, Yes, nice to meet you too." replied the Doctor.

Must be something in the punch she thought to herself, or was she that transparent. She didn't know, nor did she know just how much she was going to enjoy this little cruise. She stood up carefully and climbed up the ladder to the top of the ship where the Captain and Hooligan were.

The Captain was trying to get a weather report but couldn't understand why there was no radio signal. He checked the radio and it was able to receive, just not transmit. Before he could say anything to Hooligan, the ship's engine quit. He looked at the gas gauge. Empty.


The Captain asked in a fatherly voice.

"Did you fill up the gas tank before we left port like I asked you too?"

"Gas tank? What gas tank?" Hooligan replied.

In a sudden realization, he followed up with,


"Um, Captain? I kinda forgot. With all the passengers and all their luggage, it slipped my mind."

Hooligan smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"So, how are we supposed to get back?" asked the Captain rhetorically.

"Paddle?" said Hooligan.

"The radio won't transmit and there's nothing on radar either. That's odd."

The Captain knew that given the amount of time they were heading west they should only be about 20 nautical miles out. What he didn't know was that they were 20 degrees further south than he thought. Completely out of he shipping lanes.

If that wasn't bad enough, a squall was heading their way. He gathered all the passengers and told them to sit tight, he and Hooligan were going to try to get the radio to work to send word they ran out of gas. This information was met with annoyance. Mr. Powell demanded a refund, Mrs. Powell at her husband's side, the other passengers expressing concern.

Try as he might, the Captain couldn't get the radio to transmit. He returned to the small cabin and grabbed rain gear for he and Hooligan and saw Mr. Powell had a bottle of moonshine he was about to open. The Captain told Mr. Powell he could use the moonshine as fuel and confiscated the bottle.

Just as he finished, the storm hit. He started the engine and tried to outrun the storm, but the choppy seas were preventing the small craft from making any headway. He knew he couldn't out run the storm and the engine would probably seize if he pushed too hard. So he decided to use the oceans swells in hopes of maneuvering away from the storm.

"Hooligan. Let the passengers know we're in for a bumpy ride."

Said the Captain in an authoritative voice.

Hooligan did as told, then returned to the bridge with the Captain.

"Hooligan, we're not going to outrun this storm. We'll have to batten down the hatches."

"What hatches?"

"Not literally! Figuratively."

"I don't get it Captain."

"We're in for a rough ride. Keep an eye out for land and reefs."

"Aye-aye Captain."

The tiny ship motored through the rough seas until the Captain saw land. While the passengers stayed in the cabin, the Captain and Hooligan did their best to keep their little ship afloat and ride out the storm. Hours dragged by until finally the engine ran out of gas. There was nothing more they could do.

"Land! Hooligan, look, there's an island. Throw out the anchor so we don't hit the rocks."

Hooligan threw the anchor overboard and watched as the rope it was tied to went with it. His eyes got big and wide. He knew he had to tell the Captain.

"Um Captain?"

"Not now Hooligan. I've got to concentrate on keeping us afloat"

"But Captain."

"Not Now! Can't you see I'm busy?"

After several minutes, the Captain became more concerned as his little ship charged towards the rocky shore. Unable to steer, he figured the anchor would at least catch on the sea floor and hold them in place.

"I don't get it. Why are we still moving forward? Hooligan, pull the anchor up and lets see if we can latch on a coral reef."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. It's gone."

"What's gone?"

"The anchor. It's lost."

"Lost!? How?"

Before he could say anything, the ship lurched and a hole was ripped into the frame of the ship. It began to take on water as it continued with the waves unto the rocky shore, piercing the hull fatally.


The passengers were all making the best of the situation, oblivious of the danger they were in. Mr. and Mrs. Powell brought out bottle after bottle of champagne and everyone, including the Doctor were drinking heavily and having a good time.

The bubbly MaryEllen was getting drunk and feeling frisky. She took off her top and danced around the cabin, laughing and singing before falling into Mr. Powell's lap. She looked at Mrs. Powell who gave an approving look to Thirsty, who proceeded to fondle MaryEllen's breasts.

MaryEllen turned around and kissed Thirsty long and hard. Lovely reached over and touched the small of her back before running her hands up her spine and through her hair. She maneuvered herself so that she was standing behind Mary Ellen before removing the straps off her bathing suit off her own shoulders, exposing her own spectacular breasts as she reached around to touch MaryEllen's.

The Doctor sat and stared as the trio frolicked. Saffron took out her phone and took video of the tryst. She planned on using it to further her career. She didn't know they were off course and about to run aground on the reef.

This ship began to take on water and the Captain and Hooligan were quick to take action. They retrieved the inflatable dingy, making sure each passenger had a life vest. Mrs. Powell, Saffron and even the Doctor had difficulty getting the life jackets over their buxom chests.

With everyone properly outfitted, the Captain and Hooligan helped each aboard the dingy before leaving the small ship sitting on the rocks. They didn't have to go far to reach land. A small uninhabited island for sure, but at least it was dry ground.

It was nearly dusk, before they had unloaded all the equipment they could scavenge off the SS Phallic. The little ship kept them alive long enough to get ashore and to remove as much as possible before the waves finished her off, smashing her again and again against the rocks in the little harbor of safety. It went down as all good ships must, with an eruption of liquid shooting high in the air as a final release.

The storm raged on for several hours and the crew and passengers were able to find shelter from the storm in a small cave. Each lost in their own thoughts of survival and loss. The Powell's would serve as host and hostess until a rescue ship came for them.

The Doctor had already begun thinking of survival techniques before being distracted by a small creature crawling on the rock next to her. Hemidactylus garnotii, commonly known as the Indo-Pacific gecko, Garnot's house gecko or the Sikkim, she told herself.

Saffron was on her phone trying to make a call, but there was no cell service. Little did she know, or any of them for that matter, that this little island paradise was going to be their home for some time.

And this island was so remote, only very few eyes have ever seen it and only those that are looking down on earth from the multitude of satellites would even know it existed.

They spent the night crowded in the cave while Hooligan and the Captain took turns to stand watch. As the night wore on and the stormy skies gave way to a warm breeze, Hooligan began to doze off, just as the others hand done.

In his dream state, Hooligan was on the beach, fishing pole in hand waiting for a bite. While he waited, Saffron came close and whispered in his ear.

"Hooligan. That's a silly name. I'll call you my Big, Strong, Man."

She rubbed up against him.

"Oh, um, Hello Saffron. Nice day huh?" he stammered back.

"Uh, huh," she purred as she put her hands on his chest and moved them up and down his slender frame while she pressed her flesh against his side and back.

"I need my Big! Strong! Man to do something for me." she asked having emphasized the words, Big Strong and Man.

"Sure, Saffron. Anything for you." he said sheepishly.

She removed her top and cupped her breasts before letting them fall back into place. They were firm, large and oh so suckable. Her areola, pink, her nipples large, begging for attention. She knew she could control him.


"Yes Saffron?"

"Will you build me a hut?"

"Um, sure. One great big giant hut for you and MaryEllen."

"No, Hooligan, I want one of my own", she said, once again running her hands over her breasts while licking her lips seductively.

"Well, the Captain said we should build one big community hut." he began to say as he dropped his pants to the ground.

"Hooligan!" he heard, but paid no attention.


The shout woke him from his dream. His cock clearly straining inside his sailor pants. He looked around. It was still dark and Saffron was no where in sight.

"Hooligan. How can you keep watch with your eyes closed?" asked the Captain.

"Oh. Hi Captain. I was just dreaming."

"I can see that. Just keep it in your pants. We have to find a way off this island. Help me unload this stuff and lets see if we can make the transmitter work."

The two men began to sort through what they had salvaged off the doomed ship S.S. Phallic. As morning arrived, they had everyone one's luggage in one section, tarps and rope, a few tools and rations.

Fishing poles and the portable radio that could receive broadcasts but no ability to transmit a message, were set aside for the moment. Cell phones were useless on the remote island as there was no signal in this part of the world. Naturally, each person tried to use their phone.

"Oh! It's no use. My phone doesn't have a signal." huffed MaryEllen.

"Mine either!" said Saffron.

"Well, I'm going to put mine to better use for as long as I can." said Lovely Powell as she smiled at Thirsty.

"What? Oh!. Yes Lovely. Great idea!" he said catching her meaning.

"Look folks. I know were all a little tired and scared. But Hooligan and I will do everything possible to make sure everyone is comfortable and satisfied until we're rescued."

"Everything?" cooed Mrs. Powell as she licked her lips.

"Yes. Everything Mrs. Powell"

"Want me to start satisfying them now Captain?" asked the perpetually horny Hooligan as he walked towards her.

"Not Now Hooligan! First get this gear stored. Then we can worry about other things."

The two men worked diligently to chop down palm trees and first build a single hut. It wasn't much but at least it blocked the midday sun and didn't leak much when it rained. Saffron and MaryEllen cooked and the Doctor pitched in with building construction ideas and to forage for food.

Mr. and Mrs. Powell pitched in with back rubs and providing drinks for everyone. Once the first hut was finished, they all celebrated with a party. They all drank and became tipsy. Mr. Powell and the Doctor went into the forest, MaryEllen and Saffron took Hooligan by a hand and went down to the beach, leaving Mrs. Powell and the Captain along.

"Captain. You look exhausted. Come over here and lie down. I'll give you a back rub."

Mrs. Powell ushered the Captain to a hammock and kneeled down and began to rub his shoulders.

"Oh, you big strong man. You're all in knots! I've got just the thing for you."

She straddled his back and began a deep rub on his shoulders.

"Gosh, Mrs. Powell. That feels wonderful, but are you sure Mr. Powell won't mind you sitting on my back?"

"Don't worry about Mr. Powell. I think he's in the forest with the Doctor foraging for fruits and nuts. You just relax and let me do you. Uh, I mean, let me do my thing."

She lowered her body on his and pressed her ample breasts on to his back while grinding her crotch against his hamstring. The Captain was too tired to resist. She whispered in his ear.

"Doesn't that feel better?"


"Would you like me to take my clothes off?"

"Uh-HUH." he replied again, but this time with a little more vigor.

She sat up and removed her Saint Laurent T-shirt and Chantelle Tamaris seamless molded underwire bra. She lifted his shirt over his head and pressed her naked flesh against his muscular back. Up and down she would slide. Her large breasts felt good on his back, and her nipples hardened from the stimulation.

He soon rolled over and put his hands on her breasts. She reached up and held them there while she pressed her crotch on his leg and moved back and forth. She could feel her panties getting wet. With no one around, she moved her hands to his pants and unzipped them. She reached in and pulled out his thick cock.

She moved down and took him into her mouth. She could feel his pulse as she sucked him. Taking one hand and sliding it up and down as she kept it wet with her saliva.

"Oh! Mrs. Powell. That's so good! Mr. Powell sure is a lucky man."

The Captain moaned louder as she continued her expert skills on his swollen cock.

"How long has it been Captain?"

"A long time Ma'am." he replied as she continued to suck and stroke him.

"Would you like to cum on me?"

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Then cum Captain.. Cum!"

With her encouragement, the Captain let loose with a loud "Ooh!" and shot his cum straight up in the air. Mrs. Powell cleaned herself off and said,

"For heaven's sake Captain. Don't just lie there. Build me a hut."

"Yes, Ma'am." the Captain said sheepishly. He then zipped up and went looking for Hooligan.



In the jungle, Mr. Powell and the Doctor were foraging for fruits and nuts. The Doctor noticed Mr. Powell about ready to put a berry into his mouth.

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