Hope's Life Pt. 03

"You're fucking with me."

Silence. She looks serious.

"I can tell when you're... No. Just no. It can't be. I mean we only... Ugh, is that enough? Why? Why did you...?" I stopped. I turned the other way and clenched my fists. "When did you...?"

"I found out a few days after I left. I tried calling you. I didn't know. I thought you ghosted me."

"I gave you a key. Why would I...?"

"Locks can be changed. You didn't pick up. It makes sense now, but can you even imagine what was going through my head as I failed to reach you?"

Now I was silent. There was nothing to say. It was a complicated situation. I turned to her and asked in a calm way.

"You are aborting that, right? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to be a parent. You can kinda assume from the past few hours that I'm a dumbass that can't be trusted with a newborn."

She laughed.

"This is no laughing matter. Do you even know what you're getting into? Labor pains, moodiness, nausea... And that's until the baby is born. You have to feed it, clean it, care for it. You can say goodbye to a good night sleep. You'll be forever tired. Until it goes to college I guess."

She was smiling.

"See? You're not a dumbass. You are overthinking things way too much. It will be fine."

"If we have a kid, people will be asking "Why aren't you married yet?" And I haven't even met your parents. What would they say? I can imagine your dad going "You knocked-up my baby girl and you won't even marry her? Let me show you what we do to punks like you back home."

She kept laughing harder.

"Yeah, yeah, keep laughing. I just... Oh, man. I'll pay for the abortion, I have money now. Could we not do this?"

She stopped laughing but kept smiling.

"Why are you so against this?"

"Look, if we... Let's say we keep dating, alright? If by some chance we are still together in, say 2 years, that sounds about right, let's get married and then have a kid. I don't hate kids, I'm just not ready to be a dad. It has nothing to do with you, I just want to enjoy my freedom for as long as I can. And I believe you do too."

"You make a valid point. But still... ok. I can leave the decision up to you."

I felt relief. I fell on my bed and just let it all out.

"Good God, that was... Wow."

"Hey, if you are game, wanna do it?"

I blinked at her like "WHAT".

"Escuse me?"

"I'm already pregnant. It's not like we can screw this up even further."

"Alright. But after that we go straight to the clinic."

She began undressing and I followed up. Then I remembered my... shrunk dick problem.

"Wait! Hold on!"

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"I just... I don't feel like doing it right now."

She stopped and began to dress up.

"We can do it when you feel like it."

She is so understanding. I really don't deserve her.

The following day, we went to the hospital. Kat entered a doctor's office to talk about how to exercise the abortion. Doing nothing I decided to go and ask a gynecologist about... my problem. We talked for a while, he examined me. About 40 minutes later I walked out. I went to see Kat but she was alrerady gone. I pulled my phone to call her and saw 3 missed calls from her. I called her, she was waiting outside. We got together and she told me we can do the abortion this week.

"Where's the rush?"

"Excuse me?" She sounded confused.

"Why are you so into this? I thought you wanted to keep the baby."

"What are you saying, Steve? You said you wanted the abortion."

"Well, I was thinking... Maybe, just maybe, I really do want a kid in my life."

"Where is that coming from? Are you drunk?"

"Listen, life is unpredictable. You never know what could happen to either of us. If I could leave anything behind before I die-"

"DON'T! Do not speak like that!"

"But it's true. You never know what the future may bring."

"Seriously, what's this about?"

I took a short pause. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. It would be pretty embarrassing to be seen like this. Don't know why.

"Kat, honey..." I dropped on one knee and took her hand. "Will you do me the honor-"

She dropped on her knees and hugged me tightly.

"YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!" She was crying but lucky for me nobody was around to notice.

"Hold on, let me finish!"

She let go off me and wiped her tears.

"Go on, sweety!"

"I was going to say: "Will you do me the honor of dating me but also letting me stick it in other girls too?"

She punched my shoulder playfully and chuckled.

"But, seriously though, will you? I know I have to meet your parents now and all that. Or we can run off and marry somewhere-"

"Oh, Steve!" She was still wiping her tears.

"Ok, ok. I know. I want to... ugh this is hard for me as a guy to say, but... I want to meet your hot mom."

She chuckled again.

"You have the worst timing ever. If you said this yesterday... They went on a vacation. They won't be back for months."

"Seriously? I mean, ok. That's cool. How about my parents then? I can arrange for us to meet."

"Wow, slow down, Steve."

I fliped my phone and tried to call my moms. While I was ringing I remembered to correct Kat about my situation.

"Uh, by the way, my name is not Steve. It's Hope. Yea, yea, I know. I've heard it already a million times. It just is. Huh? I can't reach my mom. Oh well, I'll try caling later. Oh, and don't tell them I have a house here. They don't know about it. In fact they think I am studying. Just don't ask or talk about it. I don't want them finding out I've been lying to them."

"No problem, sweety!"

Ah, what a woman! Calling me "sweety" really makes me happy.

I was living the life with the girl of my dreams. Three months have passed. In these three months nothing of importance have happened. Kat was living with me. I mean not every day. She had to go to her parent's house to clean it from time to time. My moms contacted me that they were on a job... somewhere. I didn't even ask. Again, not because I don't care, but because... Oh, who am I kidding. I actually don't care.

Life was peaceful. The sex life on the other hand... I have not told Kat about my... you know. So I had to make excuses to either, not have sex, or have sex in a way she couldn't see my... Well, it was so shrivelled that she wouldn't see it anyway. Regardless, it was tough. Sometimes she would think I wouldn't sleep with her because I was tired of her. Women! Am I right? But sex was not as enjoyable as you may think. I was very horny. But being horny and not being able to jerk off... Yikes. Whenever Kat was not home, I used magic wands to try and stimulate my... whatever you want to call it. A "clitty" is appropriate since you can barely see it. Ok, now you can say I have a clitty. I had wet dreams, but no erections. I was leaking cum/pre-cum during sex, but I think that was overflowing and had to go somewhere. I had dry orgasms, but not a real anal orgasm. And it was really messing with me. Therefore I was constanly horny.

I guess I have to come clean with you. I might be impotent. I say might, because I don't know for sure. The doctor said my condition could very well be permanent.

And there you have it. I proposed to my girlfriend and I asked her to keep the baby because I thought I will never impregnate another woman ever again. I am very well aware this doesn't make me look in a good way. But I think it was a decision... that was... Oh, God! Did I choose the right path? At the time I had doubts if I did was trully the best thing for me. I didn't think about Kat much. I mean, she was chasing her thirthies. She should be getting pregnant and having kids and getting married. And me? I am throwing my best years of my life to have this? Please excuse my language, but at the time, this was a very difficult choice to make.

One day Kat told me her parents are back and asked me if I would like to meet them. I don't need to tell you how awkward it would be to tell them how I knocked-up their daughter four months ago and want to marry her. I was nervous. I knew I had to do it and still I was shaking. She was very supportive and told me we can go whenever I feel like it. When I heard that I clenched my fist and grabbed her hand.

"We're going! I am ready!"

This was a tough moment of my life but I knew together we can make it work. Just having her next to me was masking me feel relaxed. As we were walking towards her parent's house, we came near my mom's house. I thought about calling them, but I didn't really want to bother them with this. Maybe some time later. Suddenly Kat stopped. I stopped next to her.

"Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?"

I kissed her forehead.

"I'm sure."

I began walking again, thinking what would be my opening line. I noticed Kat wasn't moving.

"What's wrong?" I asked and she pointed to a nearby house.

"It's here. I live here."

I turned to the house and I nearly shat my pants. It was my mom's house.

"Oh, shi... Uhm, Kat? Who are your parents exactly?"

She looked down at the ground and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I actually have a confession to make. I have two moms."

I nearly threw up in my mouth. I thought about running away. But then I thouught to myself: "It's not possible, right? I mean, there is no way she is my sister." But I was fearing that I may have crossed... that WE may have crossed a very taboo line. I started to sweat.

"Kat! I will give you half of my money to have the abortion."

She chuckled somewhat confused.

"What?"

"Not only that, but I don't want to get married to you. At least not for now. Now that I think about it, it would probably be for the best to stop seing eachother. At least for a few days. And I want my key back."

She was begining to look a bit concerned. I can't blame her.

"What are you saying? You don't love me anymore?"

Now I looked like a jerk, but a jerk with a good reason.

"I still love you. Just not in that way. Abortion! Right now!"

"Ah, I think it is too late for that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's too late. It is illegal to abort at this stage."

"I see, I see. How about this? I beat your abdomen with a bat... until the fetus is dead. I know how it sounds but trust me, we can not allow for this kid to be born."

"That... that would be murder. You will go to prison for that."

"So what? It's... I mean... If you think about it masturbation is also murder."

"Well... I don't know about that..."

"Not only that. A blowjob is attempted cannibalism. And if you swallow it's actually... And I don't have to remind you how many of your loads I have eaten."

"I can't produce sperm, dumbass. You only ate... whatever is left, I don't know..."

"Oh, yeah. That's right."

The door to the house opened and my moms were waving at us to go inside.

"Hey kids! Are you just gonna stand there arguing or do you want to get inside where it's warmer?"

It was December and Christmas and my birthday were near. As we were walkingtowards the door it suddenly started snowing. I looked at the sky and I didn't say it then, but I prayed in my head. "Please, God! Don't make this as awkward as I think it would be! Please save me from total embarrassment."