All Comments on 'Hotel Intervention'

You’re struggling. This one wasn’t cute, Bob’s a hypocrite as well as a cheat. The wives are both cheating bitches, and poor Max is just a sorry cheating asshole with sore balls.

Hahaha

Crisp

Thermonuclear blowtorch, BTB on steroids! 5 stars for: immediate action; acting like a MAN with a verifiable Man Card; not getting a woody thinking about another man fucking his wife; sparing us the ubiquitous LW 40K word back-story; and most of all for..... ORIGINALITY! 5+++++/5!!

stuoid he was no better not wroth reading

Find a scenario, doesn't need to be a story or have a plot, or anything at all to make it interesting. Change the names and place and publish it. It doesn't matter that it's been done a thousand times before, there'll still be twats who will drool and rub their little peckers when they read it.

Thanks. This was fun in a "he's a piece of crap" way.

Maybe Max’s wife was cheating at the same time too.

Now that's funny

Bob is s small wanker

Weird and short.

"Nothing happened." - Except a blow job!

\

Maybe there wasn't enough time, but nothing was said about them Max and Joyce coming out of the hotel.

In a weird way it was enjoyable in its simplicity. Thank you.

Gotta love it!

One of the best flash stories!

I liked it enough to give it a 4 ("Like It"). A little pat the premise, but it's satisfying nevertheless. One may wonder whether Bob and Maryanne had done anything before then. If so, no high ground for Bob. If not, better. Also nice to see demander writing again in first person (as in his best story, "Big Decisions"), and avoiding the tiresome polyamory themes.

OK. What was missing was whether or not the cheated on spouses were doing each other already, or if this was going to be their first time.

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If not….then they are as bad as the other 2. And THAT matters.

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3 ***

The ending STRONGLY implied that he and the wife of the guy he interrupted about to fuck his wife were themselves about to do the same thing across the street….and that the guy had serendipitously saw his wife’s car pull up to the Marriott.

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So what we DON’T know is whether he and the Mrs Boyer were doing the EXACT same thing and catching his wife and Mr Boyer was pure chance. If so…..

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Then his “ outrage” with his wife was pure 100% hypocrisy .. albeit cleverly done given the spur of the moment discovery.

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No heroes here. Both sets of spouses were cheating. Just another day in tne LW Zone…..

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3 ***

Pretty slick story! 4*

Demander is becoming a favorite

Fun! A little hypocrisy and a convenient coincidence can be uplifting.

Gahhh, that was bad. No other way to describe it.

No lovable character. What a despicable cheaters all of them.

Welcome to morality in the 21st century...

Should have explained how hubby and Mrs. Beyer knew about the Marriott.

Nice twist but he lost the high ground

Short and sweet

Pair of cheaters cheating the cheaters. Boring.

he must be a republican...the amount of hypocrisy is off the charts.

Somebody doesn't know what the word 'fidelity' means. That, or a deliberately misleading tag. Score reflects your dishonesty.

Yawwnnn. What a waste of time. No effort put into this story. No plot nor character development at all.

Samson

Not really worth writing home about.

I liked it. All of them arseholes who deserve each other. But an ordinary story from beginning to end. Thanks for your effort at least it wasn’t Cuck shit.

3/5

he must be a democrat...the amount of hypocrisy is off the charts.

Your better writer than this

Its kind of like a father catching a man raping his 11 year old daughter, beating the shit out of him, then proceeding to fuck his 11 year old daughter, like usual. Are we supposed to feel sympathy for the asshole cheater husband? Are we supposed to be indignant with the cheating slut wife? This is when you wish there was a leaking gas line in the basement of the building, and the whole dam bunch goes up in flames. In a perfect world.

Not even ridiculous or gross, just juvenile and petty. Nice punt. Thanks for the effort.

he must be a democrat...the amount of hypocrisy is off the charts.

My mainest quibble is the ending … who is the WE? Seems like it would just be Maryanne using the same lawyer as Hubby Bob!

What an ugly story! Shame on you!

This site is for erotic literature. This is neither.

As another commenter said in one of your stories you run hot and cold. Never know what we're going to get from you. This was a cold. A tale about 4 cheaters.

2* for double cheaters

Finish the story and burn everyone... OK. You did.

Never mind.

LOL. Original which is a refreshing change from unoriginal talentless crowd of puny writers around here.

Poor old Bobs going to get butt raped in prison but at least he had a happy couple of minutes being recorded in a lift.

Although I despise cheating, this is one of the few stories that made me smile.

Story 5

Author energy 4

Flow 5

Overall 5

Yes.

Our man was a cheater too.

No good points for that.

Good point to Anon on lift (elevator) camera.

Our guy will pay for that.

Being a prick himself, he deserves that.

The good points to this story go to a clever idea for a plot.

Very clever.

Sadly the morals were not of the same high standards.

3 out of 5 from me.

Got a chuckle or two.

Good work, good stiory.

Smiling the whole way through

Loved it.

Ed

Too bad he didn't take her ring if she had them on

A pleasant little tale.

Quite uplifting for Max!

This gives "wife swap" a whole new meaning...

Part 2 please... the aftermath...

What did I think of the story? I did not. Actually it was childish.

loved it but too short. She needed some man handling too.

As they say. It started good, but finished worse than a dog turd.

Devilish.

Brilliant.

Intertesting. Ending a little too trite and convenient. Good though.

Cute story, enjoyed the read. Thanks for your writing.

It takes an extreme amount of strength to throw an unconscious man over your shoulder and then walk hand in hand with someone. They had a reason to be afraid.

Nice story but I felt it cut a bit short. Namely, what happened afterwards with everybody. Would be nice if Maryanne & Bob got together. Nothing what happened to the 2 cheaters OR the divorce. 3 stars Bob

Story was marred, at least for me, by some of your writing. Words inappropriately spaced in, almost like the cart before the horse. Then the short- too short- sentences. If it was to be more than 1 page, I'm not sure I would've kept reading this story. There's also nothing about WHY Joyce wanted to have sex with the guy? Also nothing about what the 2 did after hubby left.

Would love a part 2! So many options.

So he was already cheating. Bastard.

The pot calls the kettle black

Four despicable characters do not add up to a good story. Nothing here but lust, sadness, deceit and guile. It is a hell of their own making. Hope they all enjoy the brimstone and fire.

ohhhhhhh bad guy wins and we cheered him lol well done

Good one! Nicely pulled off. You can tell because of the indignant comments.

Finally short and to the point way to go

So he was already cheating with Max's wife. Whatever. All characters were despicable. Big tough guy laying waste to his enemies, except he is also scum. Yaya! Not.

Funny story. Good for a laugh or two, but not to be taken seriously. 4* for a bit of creativity in a wasteland genre.

Five stars

They are all despicable. Why celebrate hypocrisy?

Ending was just sob stupid.

Not a fun story.

Five hot stars

They all fought over the moral low ground.

Whatever

The high and mighty hysband was cheating too. Yet, look how he talked to his wife. Written by a woman-hating SOB. Terrible story.