by TarnishedPenny
Fucking awesome writing, I have just discovered you as an author, and I love it!
This was a sexual dance, yet I prefer one voice, mostly.
Still very enjoyable. thank you!
Not only did this allow me to understand and appreciate the simultaneous nature of the action, it also let me (a guy) know what she was doing to me as I tried to stimulate her.
A narrative of 5 actions by one followed by a narrative of 5 actions by the other would not have worked as well, in my opinion.
Personally, my fantasies include mutual stimulation and orgasm denial/postponement to enhance the eventual outcome (especially liked 1st 2 chapters!).
For me, this manner of portrayal better allows me to experience this as a fantasy in which I am actively participating, rather than a story I can read after the fact.
Thank you for the experiment!
I appreciate your thoughts. It was an experiment, but on the whole I think you are right. Cheers.
Gah! All the switching backwards and forwards so rapidly in the narrative from his thoughts/actions to her thoughts/actions is making me dizzy, at times it’s difficult to read.