House of Voyeur

As much as I tried to behave, I couldn't help but to study her pleasant form every time I saw her. There never seemed to be a stray poking nipple, believe me I kept a close eye out. That told me she was faithful to her bra. While I suspected that she had some shape to her body I sure couldn't tell under her loose-fitting clothes. Even while bending over, I couldn't tell if there was any shape to her ass. This girl was certainly not an exhibitionist. Damn

During the long evenings of our COVID confinement, we would sit in front of the TV and talk. Since I continued to attend virtual work meetings, I dressed for work each day (shirt and tie) and would change into shorts and T-shirt at the end of the day.

Jayne's attire never seemed to change, which led me to believe that she didn't have to attend any virtual meetings. Never a dress, never any makeup, just plain Jayne.

We got to know a lot about each other since we were both confined to the house. Jayne was from a very conservative religious family and had very limited experience with boys. She described a couple of make out and petting sessions but was adamant that no boy ever touched her "private parts." She confided that she was a virgin, mostly by choice, but also because she was very shy and self-conscious. She alluded to a traumatic event in her past that made it impossible for her to undress in front of anyone but wasn't willing to share. I didn't push.

Having a similar conservative upbringing, I fully understood the impact of parental and religious guilt and shame. While I wasn't a virgin, my experience with women was certainly limited.

We often found ourselves talking about the human anatomy and the differences between men and women. Jayne seemed particularly interested in the different sexual motivators, men being very visual and women more feelings and brain centered. While watching TV, she would often ask if I found a particular scene to be erotic.

We found ourselves binge-watching just about every series we could stream to pass the time caused by the COVID lockdown. Many of the streaming series have sexual content that spurred many interesting conversations. We were certainly getting comfortable around each other.

One evening, for the first time since she moved in, Jane came out of her room wearing a pair of sweatpants and a heavy sweatshirt. She was coiled up at her end of the sofa in the fetal position, gently rocking. "What does it feel like to have a penis?" Jayne surprised me.

"Wow," I responded, "That sounds like a loaded question."

"I know what a vagina feels and looks like, but sometimes I wish I didn't have one." she quietly shared. "It is dirty and messy. I wish I could pee standing up, and I hate having periods."

"Let me guess, your period started," I replied.

"Yes," she responded. "I shouldn't be talking to you about this, but this stupid COVID has us locked in this house together. I am feeling really sad and need to talk to someone."

"It's okay." I assured her. "I don't mind. I have had girlfriends and have seen it all. Messy pads and tampons in the garbage and days of moodiness. I also remember that they got very horny about the time their period started."

Jayne laughed, "You have no idea. I think that makes me hate my vagina even more. The constant feeling that I should touch myself. How sensitive everything gets; I just want to rub everything when I am on my period."

"So do it then," I responded. "I can give you all the privacy you need in the shower. The mess will wash down the drain. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, even when you are bleeding,"

Jayne looked over at me, blushed as she said, "I know you have seen me touching myself behind the shower curtain. I don't put things in my vagina, just rub on the outside and touch my nipples." She continued, "I feel bad when I do it. I keep thinking about what my mom told me. Only nasty girls touch themselves. If you want to be a slut, you will never find a good man to marry. You will end up alone and miserable for the rest of your life."

"I do the same thing Jayne", I confessed. "I started masturbating to the image of you peeing. I am so sorry; I know it's wrong, I just get so horny. When I finish, I always feel guilty. I feel like I invaded your privacy."

Jayne laughed, rolled toward me on the sofa, laid her head on my thigh and said, "I know you do. It actually makes me feel better. At least I know that I am not the only pervert in this house."

As Jayne settled her head into my thigh, I asked, "What happened to you? I know you had a strict upbringing, but something happened that makes you uncomfortable in your own skin."

Chapter 5 - The Confession

Jayne readjusted on the sofa. She slid closer, lay on her back and settled her head in my lap. She looked up and asked, "Is this okay? I don't want to squish your..."

"All good," I interrupted.

Jayne closed her eyes and said, "This is hard for me. I never thought I would say these words out loud, but you are such a good listener. Heck, I am so comfortable with you that I can touch myself with you in the same room." She pulled my hand to hers and pressed it into her stomach. "It feels good to put pressure on my stomach; the cramps you know."

I gently pressed and rocked my hand as she continued.

"My mother never really had "the talk" with me, she began. She got a call from the school principal to come pick me up one day. I met her in the parking lot with my jacket wrapped around my waist. My period started. I was 14 and had friends that it happened to, but for some reason I was surprised when it happened to me. In the car, I started to cry, expecting a little comfort from my mother. What she told me will stay with me forever."

"Young lady, you are now old enough to get pregnant. You had better keep that little thing in your pants. If you or anyone else puts anything inside that dirty little hole you will get pregnant. The devil will tempt you to touch yourself down there. Don't ever do it. A girl bleeds every month as a reminder that it is dirty and disgusting."

Jayne continued, "My mother reached behind the seat and pulled out a box of junior feminine pads. These go in your underwear. The instructions are on the box". When I interrupted and told her that my friends use tampons, "Never," she yelled, "Never put anything inside you. If you do, the devil will tempt you, you will want a boy to put his thing in there. You will end up pregnant, homeless, and eventually you will go to hell."

"Holy shit," I interjected. "What a cuntless bitch."

Jayne laughed. "Unfortunately, she was right." She continued, "My horny little vagina made me do something so disgusting, so terribly wrong, I don't think I will ever be able to have a normal sex life."

A sudden burst of emotion overcame Jayne, tears rolled down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and wept uncontrollably. I remained silent, gently pressing and massaging her abdomen.

After a couple of minutes, Jayne looked up at me and said, "If I tell you something, will you promise never to tell another living soul?"

"Of course," I reassured her.

"You are going to think I am totally disgusting. I have only told this story to one other person, and that was my therapist. You are just so easy to talk to. You make me feel so comfortable."

Jayne took a deep breath and began. "I was really shy when I was younger and didn't like attention from boys. My friends would all talk about kissing and other stuff, so I was curious, but never hung around boys."

"By the time I turned 18," she continued. "I was still babysitting and hadn't kissed or touched a boy. I was so naïve, but oh so curious. I started reading erotic stories online, I was 18 after all, and should probably start to understand this sexual stuff. Most of the stories were gross, but some gave me a tingling feeling."

"Okay," I said, "Sounds pretty normal to me."

"Well, my problem was that I kind of made one of those stories it a reality," Jayne continued. "I got a call from Mrs. Jensen, a lady I had babysat for a couple of times. She and her husband were in their early thirties and seemed like great parents. When I got there, they said they would be out late, and I could take a nap in the spare bedroom after the baby was down for the night. They would wake me when they got in.

"Everything was going well until I got bored. I was feeling a little horny because my period was about to start. After I checked on the baby, I pulled up the sex story site on my iPad and looked for a juicy story. I was able to find my favorite babysitting story and settled into the couch for an erotic read. By the time I got to the part about the 18-year-old girl finding a vibrator, I was feeling very aroused. I couldn't tell if the wetness in my undies was from the story or my period, so I went to the bathroom to check. The fluids leaking from me were thick and slightly milky looking, kind of slimy feeling. I guessed that was a sign that I was aroused, I think the story I was reading referred to it as pussy juice, or something gross like that. It had never happened to me before."

"Instead of pulling my pants back up, I grabbed a towel from the bathroom cabinet and went into the spare bedroom, pants and undies in hand. I spread the towel out on the bed and laid down with my butt over it. As I continued to read about the girl and her newfound vibrator, my index finger became that vibrator. It slowly traced around my hard little clit before pushing inside my delicate virgin hole; it was following along carefully with the story. This was the first time any foreign object had been in there. While it felt good, it didn't feel quite as good as the author let on. Must be because it was a finger and not a smooth vibrator I reasoned. I dropped the iPad and concentrated on the actions of my finger. Fully pressing it in, the fluid from inside me squished out. It was definitely getting wet down there, just like the girl in the story. A little faster, in and out, than a trip up and around my clit with the slick finger. It really started to feel good, a strange new sensation developed deep within me, my breath quickened, my whole body tingled. I was losing control of my senses."

"I knew I was close to that special orgasm everyone keeps talking about. Close but not there. It had to be the vibrator, I reasoned. Not fully in my right mind, I made a dash to the master bedroom just down the hall. Sporting a T-shirt and bra, my undies and shorts stayed on the spare bed. Drawer after drawer, I searched for a hidden pleasure toy. Finally, in the back of the bottom drawer of the nightstand, I spotted a soft pink cloth with something wrapped inside. My hands shaking, I retrieved it, unwrapped it, stared at it. The first vibrator I had ever seen. Without thinking, I pressed it to my nose and took a cautious sniff. Half hoping to smell the scent of the owner, it had obviously been cleaned after its last use."

"My knees were shaking as I leaned against the bed to steady myself. I flipped the switch and heard a humming sound; the vibrator came to life in my hand. I gently touched it to my covered nipple, just like the girl in the story. Wow, it made my already hard little nipple tingle and grow, pushing harder into the soft fabric of my bra. My mind in a complete fog, I could feel myself pulling off the T-shirt and bra. My conscious self looked over at the clock, I had a couple of hours before the Jensen's would return. Instead of heading back to the safety of the spare bedroom, I slid onto the silky white bedspread of the king bed, pushed my knees apart and let the humming little sphere work its way downward."

Jayne took a deep breath and sighed. "When I touched the cool metallic magic wand to my already sensitive clit, I thought I would explode. Too much, too soon. I flipped the switch, turning it off. I pressed it to my sensitive flesh, gently slid it over every part of my vulva, dipped it into the wet spot. It felt so incredible, so smooth, so hard, yet so delicate. I was back on track for my first orgasm. After a few minutes, I switched it back on, set it to low and pressed it to the side of my clit. It sent a jolt through my whole body. A little more pressure and I could feel an intense flood of pleasure filling me, pulsing throughout my limp body, taking control of every muscle. My toes curled, calves stiffened, thighs tightened, my butt lifted off the bed, fluid trickled out of me, down my butt crack, and onto the silky material below. I couldn't stop."

"My free hand found a needy nipple. My eyes watched as the helpless little nub was pulled and stretched, twisted, pinched. That only added to the flood between my legs. The hand, working without input from my brain, pulled the tattered nipple to my mouth, pushed it in. When my teeth clamped down, a whole new sensation pulsed through me. The combination of pain and pleasure was too much. My whole body tensed, the nipple dropped free, the vibrator moved, plunged deep inside of my wet vagina. I came. Over and over, my body spasmed, clenched, relaxed. My mind flooded with pleasure, a pleasure it had never sensed before. A pleasure it would certainly need to feel again."

"A warm soothing sense of peace pushed through my body, replacing the strong contractions. I felt a smile form on my face, I had just experienced my first orgasm. My body now limp, seemingly unable to move, I could feel the vibrator buzzing against the cheek of my butt but could not force myself to retrieve it. I drifted off to sleep to the sound of my own heartbeat."

Jayne paused; her eyes flooded with tears; I could feel her body tense. I tried to comfort her as I gently stroked her arm. "It's okay Jayne," I whispered. "You are safe with me."

She took a couple of deep shaky breaths before continuing. "I was startled by a light shining in my eyes and an angry man's voice yelling, "What the fuck are you doing." It all came crashing back to me, I remembered every intimate detail. Still unable to move, frozen by fear, my legs still spread wide, my wet sticky crotch on full display, vibrator still buzzing against my ass, I burst into tears. My hands covered my face, but I didn't think to cover the rest of my naked disgusting body. A female voice entered the scene and cried, "Oh my god Jayne, what have you done." I could feel the bedspread being wrapped around my nakedness, a gentle hand pressing against my shoulder, a tender, supporting voice in my ear. Mrs. Jensen tried her best to calm me, but I was far too upset for that. "Just lay here and rest for a bit. When you are ready, go ahead and jump in the shower and get cleaned up," she said as she left the room and closed the door."

"For what seemed like hours, I just lay in my own wet sticky mess, curled in the fetal position, rocking, crying. When I finally found the courage to get up, what I saw between my legs was even more horrifying. My period decided to come, and I mean full blown bloody murder scene. The mixture of blood and arousal was everywhere, my crotch, thighs, butt, and all over the white silky bedspread. Wrapped in the sticky material, I made my way to the shower to clean up."

"After I got dressed, I knew I had to face them. I walked into the kitchen, head low, eyes focused on the ground. "Well young lady, that was quite the show you put on," Mr. Jensen scolded. "I have never seen a more disgusting sight in my life." Mrs. Jensen tried to calm the situation by telling her husband to take a deep breath and lower his voice. She offered a very fake smile and said, "I am sure Jayne is thoroughly embarrassed by her little stunt, there is no sense in making her feel even worse."

"Well, Mrs. Jensen was wrong about one thing, there is no way I could feel worse about myself than I did at that moment. It wasn't until almost a month later that I found out just how much worse I could feel. No one else knew what happened that night. When my next period started, I fell into a deep depression, no one could figure out why. My parents sent me to counseling. It took months before I could share my story with the therapist. She did help me a little, but I had no desire to touch myself ever again, let alone face a man naked and exposed. I had come to the realization that I would never have a sex life, never again feel myself orgasm."

Jayne looked up at me, wiped the tears from her eyes and whispered, "Now do you see just how disgusting I really am? Every time my period starts, I relive that night, I get really depressed."

Jayne rolled in my lap, facing the TV, her knees pulled up tight to her chest, my hand gently gliding over her arm and hip. "Just hold me Jake, I don't want to talk anymore, please just hold me."

The TV came into focus as we remained motionless, silent. "This feels so nice," Jayne finally whispered before drifting off to sleep. Soon after, I must have drifted off as well.

I woke to Jayne stirring in my lap. She had shifted again, onto her back. My hand was cupping her breast as her hand gently pressed my fingers into her soft pillowy tissue. I couldn't help but feel her nipple emerge under my palm. Through her bra and a thick sweatshirt, it still managed to surface. I closed my eyes and drifted off into another hot fantasy.

At some point, Jayne decided to call it a night, gave me a peck on the cheek, thanked me again for being so supportive, and headed up to bed. For some reason she had a towel wrapped around her waist.

It was a hot evening, and my house didn't have air conditioning. When I was sure that Jayne was tucked away safely in her bedroom, I stripped down to my boxers and found a silly titty movie to watch. As I watched some topless bimbos prancing around on TV, I kept thinking about Jayne's recounting of her orgasmic babysitting ordeal.

I thought about my hand on her breast. That sneaky little nipple that emerged. The moment was so innocent, so tender, so sensual.

Before long, my hand found its way inside the leg opening of my boxers and was gently stroking away. The TV was a blur. In the fantasy that was forming in my mind, I was in the master bedroom of Jayne's story, watching as this innocent little virgin discovered her innermost self, experienced her first orgasm.

My mind was so immersed in this fantasy that I didn't hear Jayne come down the stairs and was startled when she walked up behind me and asked what I was watching. My hand jumped out of my boxers, and I responded, "Just some cheesy titty movie."

"Gross," she responded, and proceeded into the kitchen to get a glass of water. It was then that I noticed her attire. She was wearing a thin night shirt with no bra. Her cute nipples were proudly pushing through the thin fabric and with the kitchen light behind her; I swear I could see the dark circles of her areolae. I should note that this was the first time I had seen her out of her room without being conservatively dressed.

It turns out that plain Jayne has a smoking hot body. I would guess C cups, maybe larger, with very prominent nipples. Her cute little ass jiggled as she walked. Cute little panties peeking out from under the shirt. As she bent down in the kitchen, the outline of a feminine pad appeared to tickle her cute little butt. I have never considered a woman's period to be sexy, but this was hot. My eyes were glued to her, soaking in every sultry detail. She was glowing.

When she finished in the kitchen and turned to walk back upstairs, I had to quickly adjust to hide my hard-on. She seemed to take her time and let her beautiful breasts sway freely inside her shirt. I turned to watch her climb the stairs, hoping to get another glimpse of the little girl diaper snuggled tightly against her pussy. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Her shirt just long enough to keep her goodies hidden from view.

I heard her bedroom door close and immediately resumed stroking myself. Lost in my fantasy, I took my time, edging to keep the pleasure up as long as possible. To keep from messing my boxers, I slid them down and stretched out on the sofa. My back was to the stairs.