How Did It Ever Come To This

My head spun wickedly and I felt myself become unsteady. I had to grasp the desk for support.

Ryan noticed, he dropped the papers on the desk and reached for my hand. Using his hand for support I turned and rested my bum on the edge of the desk as I gathered my senses. "Divorce, what in heavens name is he doing? Has he gone mad?"

Ryan gave a little grimace. "Come on, Erin, you must have known this was coming. You can't have an affair and expect him to just suck it up."

"Affair, what the hell are you talking about? Who said I was having an affair?"

"James..."

"Oh my god, he has gone mad. I have never so much as kissed another man."

"I know this must be difficult, but James is convinced you and your boss are having an affair. He said that you went out on a date with him the night James walked out."

"Date... The bloody idiot, I did go to dinner with Graeme, and his wife Amanda, and I did invite Graeme to come along. God, what a dummy."

Ryan looked confused. "You're saying that he was there with his wife?"

"For god's sake, Ryan. Graeme and Mandy are here. Go and ask them yourself."

"Buggeration, Erin, you need to talk to James; he really believes you were doing the dirty with Graeme."

"That's because he's an idiot. He has had his knickers in a twist ever since I went back to work. He works sixteen hour days, and then thinks I'm having an affair. Tell him to go to hell. If he wants a damn divorce he can bloody well have one."

"Erin, if you didn't have an affair, maybe you should go and talk to him, try and convince him, say sorry."

"Ryan, weren't you listening? Why the hell should I go running after him. I have done nothing to apologise for. He's the one who should be chasing me, and begging my forgiveness. Bloody hell, affair! Do you think if I wanted an affair I couldn't do better than Graeme? For Pete's sake, Mandy is my best friend."

"For what it's worth, Erin, I think you should talk to him, he might change his stance."

"You know what Ryan, fuck him. If he has that little trust in me, he can go suck eggs."

With a casual shrug, he said. "I suggest you get a solicitor to go over those papers with you. I think they're fair, but don't take my word for it."

As he walked out, Mandy came scurrying in. "Are you all right, honey? What was all the yelling about?"

I picked up the envelope and waved it angrily in the air. "Bloody James wants a divorce. He accused me of having an affair with Graeme."

Mandy just about fainted. "Oh my god, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Mandy; the man's an idiot. Ever since I started work he has been so insecure. We fight all the time, he loses his shit when I work weekends. Jesus, he works weekends and thinks it's fine, but oh no. When I work weekends it's all woe is me, you're ignoring me."

Mandy decided discretion was the better part of valour and ran out faster than she ran in. Sitting at my desk, I pulled the papers out of the envelope, and Ryan was right. They looked fair. What James was offering was a fifty-fifty split. He listed his business assets, his super scheme, life insurance, the whole ball of wax.

I did have a few solicitors who I worked with for property conveyancing, I could get one of them to recommend somebody who specialises in family law.

It was a long dark night as I sat in the lounge with a glass of wine, okay, a few glasses of my favourite sweet moscato.

I suppose everybody does it; I went back over our lives together. We had great years. When we first married, times were tough and we got through them by leaning on each other. James, though, was a worker: he struggled, worked long hours with no respite. Weekends, all with no complaining or bitterness.

No, the bitterness didn't come until I went back into the workforce, and suddenly, I was enemy number one. I went over everything in my head, separating out each detail. What did I do that was so wrong?

Why did my working scare him so much?

As the weeks of separation drifted by, things got more confusing.

Izzy, our daughter, came home for a friend's birthday. She was devastated when she saw James wasn't around. "Where's Dad?" she asked.

It was the hardest conversation of my life. "Honey, he moved out. We're in the process of getting a divorce."

"What... No, that can't be right. Not you and Dad. Why did he move out? What happened?"

With a shrug, I replied, "I don't know sweetheart. He got all upset and then walked out. I haven't spoken to him since."

She looked shocked, and dug a little deeper. "Come on, Mum, Dad wouldn't just up and walk out. He's not like that."

She didn't believe me when I said, "That's how it happened."

She jumped up and ran to her bedroom. I heard her on the phone, obviously talking to James. It took about half an hour but then she came storming out.

"An affair, Oh my god, Mother. What have you done. No wonder he walked out. How could you?"

She stood with her hands on her hips screaming at me, like she was the parent, and I was some naughty child.

I stood up and walked towards her, inches apart we faced off. "Izzy, you have always been a Daddy's girl, and I know you love him very much, but I promise you one thing. I did not have an affair."

"Then why did he walk out? Dad would never do that."

"Sweetheart, I don't know why he left. He did accuse me of having an affair, but he's wrong. I have never cheated on your father."

She glared at me. "I don't believe you, Mother. I don't think Dad would just walk out without good reason."

"You can believe what you want, Izzy. I am telling you, I didn't do it. I don't know why he thinks it, but it never happened."

She screwed up her face in a bitter snarl, and said, "I'm going to see Dad. Hopefully, he can tell me the truth."

She didn't give me a chance to explain, or say anything. She was gone in a flash, the door rattling from being slammed so hard.

I didn't bother cooking dinner that night. I went to bed early. I did hear Izzy get home late, but she never came into my bedroom.

I left for work in the morning without seeing her. Mandy came in to talk to me during the morning. She brought scones and coffee. Graeme came in a little later and we were talking strategies when Izzy came bursting in, screaming, "So this is the dirty bastard. You should be ashamed of yourself you filthy lowlife."

Mandy stared open mouthed at her. It took her a few seconds to gather her senses, but she let fly. "You foul-mouthed disgusting little urchin. Don't you dare come into our offices and start spreading malicious lies. Graeme is my husband, and your mother is my best friend. I don't know what lies your father has filled your head with. But if you ever step foot in these offices again talking like that. I will be ringing the police."

The wind evaporated from Izzie's sails and she looked lost. It was Graeme who got a seat for her. "Young lady. I promise you, nothing happened between Erin and I. We are friends, and colleagues, but that is it. Your father has been spreading this malicious garbage now for months, and it simply isn't true. On the night your father walked out on, Erin, she was at dinner with, Amanda, and me. We were celebrating her being chosen salesperson of the year. Oh, and by the way, he was invited to attend."

Mandy jumped in before I could say anything. "Honey, I know it's hard when families break up, but your father is wrong, and the next time you talk to him, you might warn him. If he doesn't stop spreading rumours and malicious gossip, he will be facing a judge in court, because, quite frankly, we are sick of his infantile behaviour."

Izzy started bawling her eyes out with her head in her hands. I got some tissues for her and after drying her eyes, she said, "What's going on, Mum? Dad wouldn't lie."

"Izzy, your father has some issues. I don't know why he's saying these things. He got really angry when I started working. For some reason, he hated it. I can't explain why, but we were unhappy for the last couple of months before he walked out. He may have a lover himself. I don't know, because he refuses to talk to me."

Mandy went and got coffee for Izzy, and she and Graeme left us to talk. She didn't understand, and I'm not sure she believed me. We finished on a reasonable note, she was off to her friend's party, and probably wouldn't be home. Driving home, that night I received a nasty call from my son. Izzy had apparently spoken to him before our talk. He yelled and chastised, accused and criticised.

No matter how hard, I couldn't convince him that what his father told him wasn't true. I had started to consider that divorce was inevitable, now I think I wanted it. James was trying to turn my children and family against me. For those close to me, it was easy, I could talk to them. Graeme and Mandy supported me if there was a requirement of proof, as with my father. My son however, miles away at University there was no convincing him. He was livid and blamed me for the whole thing.

My resolve hardened with every passing day. The love I once felt eroded with every nasty comment, every accusation just drove another nail into the closing lid of the coffin that was our marriage.

When I first read the divorce papers, I didn't care. James could take whatever he wanted. What he suggested was fair, but now, now, I was angry, and decided to hurt him as much as he hurt me. I was going to take his company, or at least my fifty percent, and then I was going to make life hard, so damn hard for him.

I instructed my solicitor to contest, I wanted my fifty percent of the company. I wanted half of the house, our investments, the cars. I wanted half of everything.

It didn't take long for a counter offer to emerge. James offered to let me keep the house, he would gift it to me, if I pulled back on the company.

I stood fast, no way was I letting him off the hook. What ensued was a horrendous few days of abusive phone calls from firstly my son, then my daughter and James' parents. It was all a little unsavoury. My son was particularly vicious. He called me several obscene unrepeatable names. In his eyes, I was in the wrong, firstly for having an affair, and then trying to defraud his beloved father out of his company.

James desire to engage the family on his behalf really got to me. Sleepless nights became the norm as I tried to work through his desire to beat me down. All it did was make me even more determined.

Back and forth the legal teams went, offer, refusal, counter offer, refusal. I denied them all. Sticking to my guns, I was going to hurt him, and what hurt more than anything was his refusal to even talk to me.

I demanded a meeting. My solicitor proposed we use a mediator, rather than go through the family court system.

So there we were. In a meeting room staring across the wide expansive of walnut desk. James, and his solicitor, me, my solicitor, the mediator and an assistant to take notes.

James, gave me the worst possible evil glare. I sucked in a deep breath before saying. "Hello, James, nice to see you're still alive."

He nodded, nothing more.

His solicitor got us started after the Mediator finished the introductions. "My client is prepared to offer the house, all of the furniture, and half of the monies held in the joint account and half of the investment portfolio. All he is asking is that Mrs. Collhagen relinquishes her claim on my client's business."

My solicitor whispered. "Erin, as I have already said, that is a pretty good offer. I think you should take it."

"Like hell. I want half that damn company."

He sighed with a deep resignation. "All right, it's your funeral." He addressed the Mediator. "Sorry, but that offer is unacceptable to Mrs. Collhagen. She wants a full fifty-fifty split, including the business."

James slammed his closed fist down on the table, microphones, laptops, pens, they all jumped. "Bloody hell, you money grabbing bitch. It's not enough that you humiliate me by carrying on an affair with your boss, but you want half my company. I sweated blood for that business. You are not getting your money grabbing mitts on it."

The Mediator said loudly, "Sit down, Mr. Collhagen. This may not be a court of law, but it still requires a modicum of decency. Any more of that behaviour, and I will end this session right now."

James solicitor grabbed him and pulled him down. In doing so, I heard him lecturing him very harshly.

Once everything calmed down, I replied. "James, you are an idiot. I have never had an affair in my life." I slammed down a folder onto the desk.

"In there, my stupid husband, are sworn affidavits from Graeme, and Amanda. They were both present at dinner with me the night you walked out. In those statements, they both deny the existence of any affair, or wrongdoing."

He sat staring at me, the anger bubbling away, just under the surface.

With a deep sigh, I added. "Furthermore, your campaign to discredit me with my family has to end today, because if it doesn't. I am suing you for slander, and libel. You have no right to try and turn my family against me."

"Fuck you." He snarled as he shoved his chair back and stormed out."

As the room recovered, James' solicitor stood up and said. "Can we get a few moments to let Mr. Collhagen collect himself?"

"If your client cannot behave, then please don't bring him back in." She spoke very forcefully.

They came back in about half an hour later and James was still fuming, I could see the anger in his eyes. His solicitor started. "Can we please start a process of negotiation. If you aren't prepared to negotiate, then this is a waste of time."

"I'm happy to negotiate, and in good faith. However the one non-negotiable is the company. I will not relinquish my claims against it."

James bit his lip as he tried to retain his minimal composure. "Why are you doing this, what's to be gained by it Erin?"

"I only want what's fair, James. You have carried out this campaign of terror by trying to alienate the family against me. You know damn well there was no affair."

"The hell I do. I saw the way you danced with that arsehole. I'm not an idiot, Erin."

"For god's sake, I have danced with Graeme, once in my whole life. Mandy was sitting right beside you that whole time. Nothing happened."

"Bullshit, I watched the way you dressed, the way you flirt with men. Ever since you went back to work, you've changed."

"Good lord, James, I did nothing more than share a few jokes, and danced a little. That is not an affair."

"You're not getting the company, Erin. I'll burn it to the ground before I let you get your money grabbing hands on it."

"I guess I will see you in court, then. I hoped maybe we could find a way to work together, but if that's all there is, then I guess we will have to rely on the judicial system to sort it out."

I could see his solicitor cringe. I think he knew as well as I did that the law was going to see things differently.

That was it. James stormed off in a fit of anger with his solicitor hot on his heels.

Things deteriorated quickly from there. The solicitors exchanged letters, in the end, I instructed mine to find a court date.

The court hearing was going to be a hard fought ordeal. James wasn't giving an inch.

It went on all day, James was rebuked several times for his obscenities and continued interrupting. His solicitor became infuriated with him, the judge was quickly running out of patience. It was bedlam.

The session was eventually cancelled and James fined one thousand dollars.

One month later, the court case was rescheduled and we went through it again. James shot himself in the foot; again he couldn't hold his tongue, and his continual allegations of cheating and infidelity fell on deaf ears. The judge decided in his infinite wisdom that the only fair course of action was the complete fifty-fifty split. I was awarded half of his company.

As we walked out of the courtroom, James attacked me, not physically but verbally. "You fucking bitch, you better stay away from me. This farce is not happening. We will appeal."

"Appeal all you want, James, but it won't change anything. I'll see you at work Monday."

He looked shocked. "You stay out of my affairs, bitch. If you come hanging around our yard I'll have you locked up."

Graeme was just as angry, and on Monday, he walked into my office. "I'm sorry, Erin, but I refuse to sit idly by while that fool goes around casting those degrading insults against Amanda and me. To make those disgusting allegations, and in a court of law, no less. I apologise, but I am suing him, and it isn't going to be pleasant."

I wasn't shocked, really; I couldn't blame Graeme, I was close to doing the same myself. "Graeme, do what you have to. Believe me, I am on your side, and I will do anything I can to help."

"Thank you, Erin, this is not your fault. The man has had a mental breakdown of some sort. Even so, it is going to cost him a lot of money."

I grimaced, my mind spinning. What a fool he was. He could actually lose everything.

Graeme saw me thinking and he said quietly. "Erin, he offered you a financial settlement. If I were in your shoes, I would take it. Once I am finished with him, he will have nothing."

Up until that point, I had been determined to take half of that business, but this changed things. Now, I had second thoughts. If I took the best offer, I got a financial settlement and kept the house. I rang my solicitor and instructed him to take Jame's offer, so long as we signed the paperwork immediately.

Unsurprisingly, he accepted.

Graeme went straight for the jugular, and his lawsuit went live the next week. His lawsuit was for over a million dollars. Loss of reputation, damage caused to his business caused by the unfounded allegations.

My Son, Gerard, knocked on my front door. Shocked, I stood aside and waved him in. "Nice to see you, Gerard." I held my arms open for a hug, but he stood his ground. "Mum, this is ridiculous, this court case. For heavens sake, can you please try to convince Graeme to drop it?"

"Gerard, all Graeme wants is an apology. If your father just retracted his ridiculous allegations, and publicly apologises, Graeme will drop the law suit."

"Why should he, Mum? Dad knows about your affair. Why is Graeme trying to ruin Dad?"

I pulled out a folder and passed it to him. "Have a read of that while I make us a cup of tea."

He sat at the table in the dining room. Contained in the file were the, sworn affidavits. Not only from all of the office staff, but it also included, polygraph tests, all carried out by court approved experts. Taxi drivers who drove Graeme, Amanda and I separately on the night he walked out. Several other statement from our friends who were present at the functions where James accused me of inappropriate behaviour. All of them showed how ridiculous James accusations were.

As I placed Gerard's cup in front of him, he glanced up at me with a very concerned expression on his face.

"My love, does any of that look like I'm having an affair?" He winced, turned away. "Gerard, you're my son, and I love you like nothing on earth, but some of the things you have said to me are particularly hurtful. I will say again, I have never ever cheated on your father. I don't know why you can't accept that, but it's the truth."

He sipped his tea thoughtfully, as I added. "Gerard, there are photos in there of Graeme, believe me, if I wanted to have an affair, he is the last man I would choose. Believe me, I could do better."

"Then what the hell's going on, Mum? This is just crazy. Why didn't you tell dad all this?"

"For god's sake, son, do you think I haven't tried. On the night he made those horrible allegations, he was invited to come along. That was a huge night for me: Saleswoman of the year. All I wanted was to enjoy some nice company, accept my award and enjoy the support of my husband. You know what. He never even said congratulations."