All Comments on 'How Do I Write the Next Line?'

Excellent story! 5*. Very well written. I wish I knew why the cheating started but that is the unanswered mystery that is a personal pet peeve that just makes it more like the real world, we don't always get the answers.

Damn! That was one fine story. Maybe your best one.

5

Wow! If you aren't already doing this for a living, you ought to be. Great story!

Well done

Great story. 5⭐.

Like a previous comment, I am tortured by not knowing the why and how.

But in the end, only Carolyn could have answered that question.

Story bookmarked to reread on occasion.

Thanks for sharing.

Excellent story. Great narrative, really impressive characters and credible development. The big loose ends relate to Caroline's affair, but maybe that's another story to be written. I enjoyed this one very much and thank you for sharing.

Thoroughly enjoyed that. Thank you very much,

You are so great at writing believable, complicated and flawed characters. Thank you for your stories!

People are complicated; love is complicated. So is life. What you've done is put words together showing us that in spite of the complications, love is the real winner. I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. . One of your best stories yet. Thanks for posting

Another great read, and yes unfortunately the new generation would definitely say 80's music is old.

Absolutely brilliant PM! You made it very realistic & a lot of times we don’t always get the answers we seek, such as to why Carolyn cheated. I thought you placing this story in Romance vs LW has great move as i can only imagine some of the unpleasant comments. I need to read more of you work. Thank you for your story! 5* all the way.

Another classic from PeytonMirabelle. I always enjoy the references in your stories from songs or other things of our time here. The best ever is your line, "it's not simply post-nut clarity". I have to find a way to use that one in the future. Thanks for your writing for our enjoyment.

This was a great story, keep writing you have great talent

Very fine writing! 5 stars. The plot elements of themselves are more or less Lit. staples, but your masterful handling of character development and dialogue made this story quite outstanding. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Excellent story-telling! You wrote a well-crafted story and explored a wide range of emotions without being sappy. Like other commenters I wondered about her motives as well as the particulars of the affair - but as they also said, sometimes in life we never get all the answers. Please keep the stories coming - they are very much appreciated. — Mac

First class writing: pace, narrative and character development created a credible and fulfilling resolution.

Peyton, This was likely the first of your work I've read (can't say why). This was excellent - not just good or very good. Characters & narrative were uncommonly believable - or just coincidently well aimed at my perspective (unlikely). I D/L'd 3 more, and have high hope for those.

I would rate this a 5, having only done 3 or 4 in the last 6 or 7 yrs. Bravo. If this keeps up, you'll be in several 'top' lists.

My best to you and yours,

-Dreaded Anonymous

Excellent story. Well paced, strong characters, and a strong ending. I liked how you wrapped the ending back to your introduction, coming full circle. Thanks for an enjoyable read.

Great writing, engaging characters. Thank you!

Outstandiing! Like life itself, a bit untidy, yet compelling.

Thank you for not romanticizing the affair as Josie (and "Same Time Next Year") did. You clearly established the characters and plotted a convincing story. Well done.

I liked it, although the desperation the MC went through was tough to read. I was a little surprised that he burned the songbook... that was in many ways the embodiment of his family... as well as his marriage. I was expecting him to give it to his bitch daughter. But hey, it is what it is. Good read. 5 ⭐ stars and a heart.

Always a happy day when Peyton puts out a new story. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent with us.

Please accept my apologies for not voting more than five stars.

As franceman has pointed out, only Carolyn could explain why - and she isn't here to do so. I just hope Lucas and Josie can get their act together.

Personally, I don't care about "B."

Really well written, as always. Great job disguising the plot lines early on. I was expecting the story to be about a loving marriage scenario, and I was scratching my head trying to see where you were leading us. The sudden death of Carolyn was an abrupt shift but opened the door for a well worn widower romance ploy. Nope. Off we went on a new direction that kept the reader off balance yet engaged. I’ve read several stories on the site dealing with post death infidelity reveals, but this story was one of the best. It is a piece of art and worthy of emulation by new writers. 5.0*

Thank you for an excellent story. Thoughtful, well written, and tantalizingly incomplete. Still dealing with unanswered questions from my own marriage. Your story actually helped me on the road to moving past her. Thanks again.

OG

Loved just about everything in this story. My only qualm is the last of it when Ted speaks to the ether telling Carolyn that he will probably always love her in some way and forgives her. That's just so much bullshit. At least 10 years pf cheating, lying, disrespect and encouraging the same from his daughter. Whatever she was telling Vi about how much she loved him was just camouflage to hide her disdain for Ted. That revelation would surely kill any affection he'd had for her when he realized none of it was returned. That cheating tramp was all about her boyfriend not Ted. Forgive her? She poisoned his relationship with the daughter and put the daughters marriage at risk as well. No, I don't see any forgiveness in all this.

Well written but should've been placed in the Loving Wives category instead. Personally, after the kids took whatever they wanted, I would've burned everything else and dumped the ashes down the toilet. 4*

Depressing. And why would he forgive her?

Great. A bit too convenient that he has the best friend just there waiting for him. I would have told Lucas to run. If she feels this is fine and romantic then he is doomed. I would have flipped to on Josie and asked her how she would feel if her husband had a lover for ten years? Would she be fine with that?

As for the dead wife... I would have pissed on the ashes and dumped it down the toilet.

Very excited to see a new story from PM. Whar a well-told tale! Thanks! If you edit a master file, “banner” should have been “banter.”

This was very well done. It is a good sign when my only critique is that I felt like you could have lived in a few of the moments longer, and that is in no way to say you didn't let things breathe. Going through all of Ted's pain was rough, but you made the positive moments feel very earned and the bits of humor sprinkled here and there were good as well. Most importantly for me, Vi felt like she earned her happiness too. I like when I can feel good for a couple in a romance.

On reading the first paragraph I thought he was going to jump off the cliff. The last part of the story was a good ending and ended the story well. A well earned 5 points.

Nice story...Thank You! 5 Stars!!!

Great story and well written!

Thank you very much.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Loved the story. This could have been in "Loving Wives". The characters where well thought out and developed. The wife and oldest daughter suffered from the same delusions, "What they don't know will not hurt them" that is until they know. Then it is their fragile ego at fault, not them. I am glad he went to see the other man, serves he piece of dung right. I hope the daughter pulls her head out of her ass and realizes the damage that she and her mother have caused. I hope she realizes that when you cheat that it is not fantasy and effects living people. I found it very hypocritical when she found out about her Dad and Vi. It was OK for her Mom to screw around but not her father?

Great story!

Personally, I could care less if there were more details related to Carolyn cheating on her husband. She cheated for almost half of her marriage. She had no remorse about cheating and had no intentions of stopping until she was killed in an automobile accident. In general, people cheat because they can and because it doesn’t hurt them to hurt you. Cheating is an abusive power dynamic. It’s not about monogamy or midlife crises, it’s about entitlement. Cheaters manipulate to maintain their advantage over their spouse and affair partners.

Josie had best get her head out of her ass. The share fact she condoned and supported her mothers cheating and kept her secret reveals her true attitude about cheating in general. Lucas has no reason NOT to believe that she wouldn't cheat on him. As far as he comment about "Egos", well I think cheaters are the ones who have an issue with egos. Cheating is a profoundly narcissistic act. Cheaters need to feed. They need lots and lots of validation that they’re special, sexy, and understood by only a special chosen few. Cheaters, they’ve got a hole in their soul where empathy and connection should be. They like cake — having both the affair and the marriage.

Very good story. Thanks for posting.

Loved this ... couldn't put it down.

Great story. I know what you mean about "are 80's songs old now?" - I'm 61 and I think songs from the 60's are oldies. Past my prime.

You did a great job with this story, I loved it. Painful at parts, but it felt like it was true to life.

I'll be watching for more from you and now I'm off to see what else you have written. Thanks for the story!

A wonderful story, both well crafted and well executed. 5 stars.

Thank you for this well crafted story. I couldn’t put it down. I will share it with my wife.

I have wondered why people cheat. I don’t get the answer in this story. It just seems so destructive, why go there. Thanks for sharing.

5 Stars.

Good story. I wonder why Carolyn cheated. I feel the need for closure!

I don't understand him forgiving her in the end, but agreed with burning the songbook. After all it was a lie.

If anyone did what she did to me, they would probably never find her body, and I'd have a rock solid alibi on standby. How does he just forgive her? I really don't get it. Not up to your usual standards, for sure.

I loved the story and I've sent a PM with additional comments. 5*

Unrepentant in the fullness of her betrayal, if you listen to Dante, Carolyn is in one of the two innermost circles of hell, either that of betrayal or that of frauds. I regret that there was no repercussions shown in the story for the behavior. The MMC's forgiveness is only for himself, although I cannot believe he would hold anything akin to love for her anymore. In that aspect, this story is unrealistic and difficult to empathize with.

Strong opening, but too predictable in the further stages - what a pity !

Therefore only 3/5 stars, sorry ! 🤷🏽

Yes, some 80s songs are very old and worse still dated.

The trouble with using the daughter as the proxy is that you can never get the same emotional content, because unlike a lying cheating wife, a child is yours by blood.

There's not much to forgive or be angry with Vi about, the relationship ended, he just threw her away on the say so of his wife. If anything Vi should be pissed with MC.

/

@shadracht, no one but English majors even read Dante, let alone believe in his mindless ramblings. His inferno is a treatise to the miserable pathetic worthless lives that him and his fellow god botherers lived. The Cathars were right, hell was lived on Earth.

/

@anon 25 days ago. Couldn't disagree more. Cheaters do it for all sorts of reasons, but they do it because they can, obviously. Nothing to do with a power dynamic, though I'm sure that some might have strange petty reasons like that. I'd imagine that first among all reasons is that it fulfills a need and they enjoys the act. Clearly many cheaters are wracked with guilt, but let's be clear, many cheaters do it on the way out of a relationship. The existence of long term cheating where the cheater actually loves both is a vanishingly small number in the whole scale of things.

We know when a story ends. We don't have to be told.

Good story. Amusing / interesting comments. Wonder what happened with Brady and his wife? Did the wife ever follow-up for more details. Did that marriage explode?

Forgiveness is an interesting topic. Many people mix up forgiveness with forgetfulness. They are not necessarily tightly intertwined. Forgiveness means cutting another's power over you. Once you can give up the "that shouldn't have happened", etc. and simply recognize that something did happen and cannot be changed, you can move on without dwelling on it and trying to "solve" it. There are whole books written about it. Simple in concept, really darn hard to do sometimes! I find it interesting to read comments about forgiveness or lack thereof about many LW stories.

mfj

In reply to the ending question; YES, 80's songs are now OLD. Give it another 20 years and they'll become OLDE.

THANK YOU for a very well crafted story.

Happy Holidays,

Paul

Really like your writing; this storyline and characters not so much. For me, apparently an exception, too melodramatic, not unlike a whirlwind soap opera.

Appreciate when a story has the word" End" when it's finished. So many stories continue and the reader doesn't know if it's over or not. This was a very entertaining story that kept one reading to the very end. Five stars for a fine read. Much better than 90% of the trash posted here daily. Thank you. (signed ML)

It's just beautiful!!!!

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