How I Lost My Anal Virginity Pt. 01

With that, she gave me the filthiest, pleased with herself, sneering look imaginable and stomped out.

If only she'd waited a minute, I could have told her that there already was a God of Wanking -- our old friend Priapus. He was credited with teaching his son Pan how to masturbate, although when Pan got the time to wank as he was shagging all the time I do not know.

Well, she'd certainly spoiled my wank, but nothing for it. I finished my shower, dried myself off and padded through naked to the bedroom to get my clothes on, my still fat cock swinging about.

On the way, I heard a funny buzzing noise and couldn't think what it was. Well, I soon found out! I got into the bedroom to find my wife lying on the bed, her legs spread wide apart, one leg sort of hanging off the side of the bed, getting herself off!

She had a big vibrating dildo up her cunt and wasn't far off coming. My turn to stand there with my hands on my hips!

'Well, well, one rule for me and one rule for you!'

'What's good for the gander is good for the goose,' she retorted.

You know, I'd a suspicion that she'd taken to masturbating...well, I should say...taken to masturbating more. I told you, she wasn't exactly straight laced, but definitely didn't seem to want to know or talk much about sex, even when she was doing it.

She certainly used to bring herself off when she was younger, but I hadn't seen any evidence of it for a long time. But a few times of late, since I'd taken up with Rob, when I was throwing back the duvet I noticed some spots on her side of the bed, just where you'd expect.

Now, as I also told you before, my wife produced a lot of cum. If she'd let it all out there would have been a wet patch four inches across. Well, there often was, but this was different, so I guessed she was catching most of it in a tissue.

Anyway, she came up to her climax with the big dong up her, bucking and moaning. After she'd calmed down, I was about to get my line in about the Greek God wankers...when she rolled off the bed, still clutching the soaking wet dong.

'Here, you like sticking things up your arse...try this for size...it's nice and wet with my cunt juice!' Bitch (two).

And you know, getting it all out in the open...that's the sex with Rob, not waving my prick about...had other benefits for me as well.

You remember I told you I did quite a few things to relieve the pressure? I thought they were all clandestine secrets and it turned out the wife knew all about them anyway! So, I thought to myself, fuck it, she knows so might as well get on with it.

As well as masturbating myself, would you believe it my wife actually started to wank me off (occasionally.) I'd been sneaking off to the bathroom to do it, but now when I woke up with a big morning hard-on, all warm and cosy, I thought I'll just do it right here. To hell with the sheets.

The first few times she just slept through it, even though the bed must have been shaking a bit. Then, one morning as I was wanking away she must have been awake already, as she turned towards me, 'Would you like me to do that for you?'

Would I? Would I not! She rolled over a bit, got my cock and set to work. Wow! It was good, something about a warm hand grasping your cock...

And wearing female knickers! I wore them much more, especially my favourites, lacy thongs. I didn't parade around in them, but I started putting them in the laundry and she never said a word! Even when they were stiff with spunk. Got quite a collection now.

And that reminds me, earlier I said I'd get back to my knicker fetish. Actually, I've been thinking about this quite a lot and while I've got quite a lot to say on the subject I've also got very little. Why do guys like wearing women's knickers? I'll be hanged if I know!

To the best of my knowledge, women don't seem to want to wear men's underpants? Well...there's a whole line now in women's knickers styled like upants, but it's not quite the same thing, is it?

Starting at the other end, so to speak, I've never really understood why men's upants are so...over-engineered. If you've got really big balls like Rob, you might need them, but for most men there's just too much material. How can women get away with next to nothing, while men are wrapped up in like a blanket?

Comfort might be a factor. But I like to wear them tight, so they rub up and down my crack. But some guys seem to like them really loose, camiknickers do they call them? No, that's the sort of body ones. French knickers, that's it.

I guess there's also the thrill of doing something naughty! It's quite fun being out somewhere, maybe having some pompous conversation with some boring old fart, knowing that you're wearing knickers.

You know, I just don't know. But I like it. Wasn't that some comedian's catch phrase? Moving on...

And porn. You know I told you I only did that (as I thought!) in secret. Well again, I didn't make a thing of it, but if she was watching the telly on something I wasn't particularly interested in, now I'd just go to my den, sorry, I have to call it my study, fire up the computer and have a good boggle. Amazing the things you can learn from watching porn.

You know, if I may digress, I really think the whole thing about watching porn is unbalanced. Of course there's unsuitable stuff out there, and of course there's categories of people that shouldn't be watching it.

But there's a great deal of arousing entertainment as well...many's the most satisfactory wank I've had watching a porn video. Some very educational stuff to. And the hypocrisy around it...don't get me started on that topic.

You know my...predilections...now, for I've told you. But do you know my favourite porn? It's watching two women going at it. You notice I've not said two lesbians going at it, because I've got another theory.

If you say, "Boring old fart, get on with the story" just once again I really am going to stop enlightening you with my pearls of wisdom.

Anyway, I think a lot of women like doing it with other women, not because they're lesbians per se (Latin), but maybe in their circumstance it's just easier for them to get more sex without men? Or maybe they like women's bodies more than men? All nice and soft and not hard and hairy. Or a lot of women find intercourse painful...sorry I mean having a big dick up them, I know your vocabulary is very limited...so they'd rather just be tongued by a nice soft mouth, not some prickly beard.

And the wife had taken to watching porn as well! She didn't say anything about it either, but she never seemed to clear the history on her computer. Whenever I took a sneaky look, somewhere there would always be the telltale entry, 'xhamster'.

Anyway, things went along like this fine. I fucked with Rob...I fucked with my wife...I fucked with Rob...I fucked with my wife...I fucked with my wife. Yes, that's right, sometimes we did it twice in one week!

***

Then, you know that way she has of catching me out? One day after we'd had a good screw, she lay back and said, 'You know, I'd like to see Rob's knob. I think you said once it was bigger or fatter than yours?'

Well, strike me down with a feather, 'Oh, do you mean you want to...?

'No NO, I just want to see it...a picture, not the real thing. I got the idea after that last drinks party we had for the neighbours. Do you know, Rob's cock had a big hard-on! The dirty bugger!

'He was wearing quite tight trousers made of that stretchy wool stuff, bit like tracksuit bottoms but tighter. He couldn't have had any underwear on and his cock must have got caught up down his leg. It was long and fat and made a big ridge along his thigh.

'What gave him a hard-on I do not know. I couldn't take my eyes of it, it does look big. Anyway, I looked around and realised that fortunately no one else could see it. Old Mrs Smith was sat next to him, but at that angle couldn't see it. Good thing, she would have had palpitations, probably spilled her wine.

'And then, you know what? A wet patch appeared through his trousers, just at the end of his cock! Would it be, what do you call it in men? His pre-cum? The wet bit must have been an inch and a half across.

'Anyway, I'd like to see what it looks like? That's his cock, not his pre-cum.'

'Err...well,' I said, 'I'll ask him for a picture. I'm sure that can be arranged.'

Then she said, 'Actually, I've had an even better idea. Could you make a little video of it? Maybe with you in action? Like the porn ones? Then I'd get a much better idea of it's size and shape.'

Gosh, Rob and me had set that up rather well!

Took me quite a while to subtly move the chairs, then make sure everybody was sat in the right place, with Rob directly opposite my wife but nobody else could see...and it worked! We'd no idea if she'd take the bait, but we'd got, as they say, a result.

'I'm sure there will be no problem,' I said, knowing what Rob would be rubbing his hands in glee. We weren't quite sure what might have come of our little ploy, but this outcome was fine! I saw him the next day. Soon he was planning the action.

'We can just use my smartphone, you get amazing results with them nowadays.'

And just as I was about to ask how he was going to hold the phone while we did all this, he produced a little clamp stand that held the phone...AND a clever little Bluetooth button that let him turn the video recording on and off! Remember I said ages ago that I thought that Rob had been at this before? Well I think he'd been into filming porn action before as well!

We decided on two, well really three, scenes. I would lean over the table and he'd get it up my arse. That would show the, err, scale of his prick nicely against a known factor. We'd turn round and I'd get it up him.

Then, we would both lean against the table and wank ourselves off at the same time, that would be for compare and contrast purposes.

'This first one's trickiest,' he said, 'as we've got to get the camera angles and the positions just right so that the video shows my cock going in and out of your arse.

'With just the two of us, we'll need to do two or three shots from different angles. Bit stop/start. Oh, and remember to make plenty of noise when we're doing it, plenty of Oh's and Ah's and Fucks. Louder the better.'

I must say I hadn't actually thought of it before, but plenty of amateur porn films are really wooden, because the camera is just set up and never changes.

Anyway, Rob fiddled around with the position of the camera, then he got behind me and sort of twisted to one side so you (that's the camera) could see the whole of his cock and balls and my arse. He switched on the camera, then started rubbing his tool up and down my arse before shoving it in. I let out I thought a very convincing, 'Ahhhhh...fuck.'

He shafted me for a bit with us both groaning away, then he stopped, pulled out and moved the camera to the other side and more or less repeated the process, but sort of more vertically downwards, if you know what I mean. Then we swapped over and I shagged him. Same procedure, couple of shots from different angles.

I thought we were done at that, then he said, 'Now we need a ball shot.'

This time he put the camera down on the floor, zooming it in. He entered me again and kept that up for a minute, his balls flying back and forwards. All about as unsexy as you can get. I was starting to have new respect for porn film guys...

The next shot of us wanking was much easier. Rob just lined up the camera to take in both our groins. But first he suggested that I put on my stockings and a pair of nice little knickers. 'Spice things up a bit that way.'

We started wanking, then he turned on the camera, but he only took half a minute. 'Pictures of wanking are a bit boring, but when you think your going to come quite soon, tell me and I'll switch on again.

You know, I always have a problem when I'm wanking and wearing knickers. I can never decide whether it's better to push the knickers down and wank above so to speak. Or to push your cock out through the leg and wank that way. I opted for cock up.

I wanked away, 'I'm starting to come...'

He turned on the recording, I kept wanking for a bit, then shot my load. Well, I've told you before, Rob seemed to have total control of his ability to spurt. Sure enough, within a few seconds, Rob ejaculated as well. Job done.

It's a funny thing, Rob could last much longer then me, but I actually shot out far more stuff than him. My first spurt was always the biggest, shooting out horizontally often a foot, but then I spurted another...oh...five or six times usually. It was great, I could feel every wave pulsing up my cock. Rob in comparison didn't really produce all that much.

Well, that was it and we got back to normal business (if you can call my little escapades with Rob normal!) I was expecting him just to send the video to my phone, but he said, 'I'll edit it a bit and pop it through.'

A few days later, I found an envelope through our flat door with a USB stick in it. I plugged it into my computer and watched. It was amazing, superb! He'd got about seven minutes out of it and had cut and pasted it all together into a really good porn video! I watched it several times. Couldn't believe that was my cock.

I wandered through to see my wife, who was tapping away on her computer. 'Remember you were asking about Rob's cock a few days ago? Well look at this!' She plugged it in and ran it. Her face was a picture.

'Gosh, is that what you get up to? Yes, Rob's cock is definitely bigger than yours, but he doesn't shoot as much.

'He's got big balls mind you, and they certainly shoot backwards and forwards when he's shagging you.'

She finished watching it, then just ran it again. As I'd seen it four times already, my mind wandered. Well actually, not very far. My wife was sitting at her really old fashioned desk. It was that stuff, what do you call it 'stripped pine' or something. The top was quite low, that's why she'd chosen it.

I'd long ago realised that it would be at a perfect height for me shagging her. And I'd fantasised about getting it up her cunt then her bum hole right there.

I'm afraid when she was out I'd also got into a dirty little habit of wanking straight onto her desk, standing just where I would have liked to fuck her. I could feel myself starting to get a hard-on just thinking about it...

'You know, I think I'd like to try that now.'

'Wh...what...?' Was I hearing things???

'Hey, you're day-dreaming, probably about sex, aren't you? Did you hear what I said?'

'Err...I think I did, but for the avoidance of doubt could you just say it again?'

'I SAID...I'd like you to fuck me in the bottom. It doesn't look too difficult.

'Actually, I've been watching quite a lot of women having it done on xhamster and now I've seen you and Rob at it, I think I'd like to try it. How would we go about it?'

'Right there, on your desk,' I said without thinking. 'Not much needed, just get your knickers off and lie on the desk while I fetch some lube.' I was out of the room and into the bathroom cabinet at a run.

When I got back, she'd done as I asked and was lying on her back on the desk, her skirt pulled up showing her cunt and arse. I did what Rob had done and got a cushion under her head, then got her to hold her legs up. Lovely sight. I dropped my tracksuit bottoms and my now erect cock popped out, no underpants.

'Good to go,' I said.

'OK, but if I don't like it and I ask you to stop, can you stop straightaway?'

'Of course,' I said, perfect gentleman, although I wondered if I would be able to stop if I had it up her.

Anyway, I stepped gingerly forward. I was sure I had only one chance, that if I messed up, she'd never let me try again. I would have really liked to rim her as well, but I guessed that was a step to far.

So, with my finger soaking in lube, I very gently started rubbing around her arsehole. When that was going quite well and she started making little moaning noises, I slowly worked my middle finger into her arse. That produced slightly more moans. Then, two fingers, no negatives. Three, OK...more 'Ohhs' and 'Ahhs' now.

Well I just worked away steadily with my three fingers until her bum hole felt really loose. I'd been holding my cock with my other hand, all coated in lube. I took out my fingers and her arsehole formed a nice hole! No time to waste, as I knew it would close in again quite quickly.

I got my knob head up against her and gently pushed. Just sailed in! This time, 'Oh...oh...gosh...oh oh oh!' but she didn't ask me to take it out. I slowly started to drive my prick in and after a dozen strokes I had it in her to the hilt. I held it there, giving it a few little...rotations. Yes, that's a good word.

'Oh Jesus Christ...fuck me...fuck's sake...fucking cunt...I've never felt anything like that.' I'd never heard my wife swear like that. I was holding her arse with one hand, so I got the other into play on her clit.

I was going very carefully and slowly, like I said one bad first experience and that might be that. I know my wife of old. Then, 'That's so good...but can you do it...fuck me...a bit harder and faster?'

Could I? I speeded up and rubbed her clit harder. That was it, her back arched and she had the most tremendous orgasm.

You know that thing they call 'la petite mort' (French) when an orgasm's so intense a female can pass out? I'm not sure that didn't happen to her!

When she came, her sphincter muscles contracted round my cock and that was too much for me. I shot my load up her. I could feel my stuff pumping out and I just kept shafting until it was all out. Quite quickly, my prick started to go down. I pulled out.

A short silence, 'Well that was very nice. Much more intense than I was expecting. Everything down there was...quivering.

'You should post that video on xhamster. I think I'll go for a shower now.'

A few weeks later, by then I'd fucked her in the arse about four times. We worked out a modus operandi (Latin). When I was feeling her fanny, I'd let my finger slip down and rub her arsehole. If she fancied it, she's let me keep going, if not she'd just moved my hand away like before.

After another week, after I'd shagged her in the arse again, I plucked up the courage to say, ' Would you like to do it with Rob? Experience his bigger cock?'

'Hmmm...I'll think about it.'

Wow! Now that was interesting. She didn't say 'NO', she didn't say, 'No...I don't think so', she'd said maybe!

I left it for another week and after I shagged her there again, I said 'What about Rob?'

'Yes, I...think so. I think I'd like to experience his big cock. I just don't want him to think that I'm just there for screwing. You'll have to make it very clear to him that this is a one off, probably not to be repeated.'

'Absolutely,' I said. 'Where do you want to do it?'

'Oh, his place definitely, I wouldn't like to think of being fucked by him here in our flat.'

***

Well, we set it up for a week or so ahead. We give ourselves a good rinse out in the shower. I got the wife just to wear a t-shirt and skirt with one button, no bra and no knickers. I stripped down as well, just a polo and trackie bottoms, nothing else. We got to Rob's flat door and he met us, wearing a silk dressing gown and I guessed nothing else.

We were all a bit stiff and embarrassed at first, then Rob poured us a glass of wine. I must say Rob always served excellent wine, better than most of the stuff we drank at home. That relaxed us all a bit.

Rob sat in an armchair, me and the wife opposite on a settee. We made some small talk about the gardens, as you do. Then Rob somehow undid the tie on his dressing gown, the fronts kind of slipped apart...to reveal that the bugger already had a huge hard-on! My wife noticed it first, 'Oh!'