How I Met My Husband Ch. 03

Chapter Three - Accepting myself as Joanie

"You're going as Joanie," she answered calmly.

I had a sudden panic attack. "I-I can't go outside dressed like a girl!" I said.

"Yes, you can," she said, gently pulling the pair of tighty-whiteys from my hand and replacing them with a pair of panties. "It's from the house to the car, then from the car to their house. You'd be outside for what...a minute? Two? And this early in the day, how many people would be able to see you?"

"But...." I stammered, not being able to finish the sentence. Honestly, I didn't know what the rest of the sentence was going to be. My mind went blank as soon as I opened my mouth.

"No 'buts'," she said firmly.

Despite my misgivings, I did feel a bit of excitement at the idea. After staring at her for a long while, I finally gave in. "Ok," I said. There was a tremor in my voice as I said it, but I didn't know if it came from fear or excitement.

She picked out my clothes, surprisingly conservatively. As I looked at what she'd selected, a thought crossed my mind. "How did you know about 'Joanie'?" I asked. Jim had only called me that only last night.

She chuckled. "He's been calling you that for a couple of days, dear. Cathy suggested the name."

"This 'turning me into a girl' thing has been in the works for a while, hasn't it?" I asked with a hint of accusation in my voice.

"Uh...surprise?" she said nervously. My brow furrowed in anger and she quickly continued. "Don't be mad! It's not really a surprise surprise. It's been in my head for a while now, but even more since you told me you wondered what it would be like to have a pussy. It kind of confirmed my suspicions when you took so easily to the clothes and sleeping with Jim."

"Suspicions? What suspicions?" I asked.

"That you're really a girl inside," she said.

That floored me. I didn't think I was a girl inside. I mean, I've always acted like a guy...hadn't I? I didn't realize I'd voiced that thought until she replied.

"Think about it. Whether you realize it or not, you unconsciously take on traditional woman's roles. You cook and clean more than I do. You were the one that picked out our bedroom furniture and, baby, what you bought was kind of feminine. You don't hunt or fish or work on cars or any other traditional male stuff. You don't 'swish', but your mannerisms aren't exactly masculine either. And back when you lost your job and I said you could be a housewife, you put up exactly zero of a fight."

"Why didn't you say something before?" I asked. There was a lump forming in my throat when I realized that she just might be right, and the implications of how it would affect our relationship.

She put her arms around me and hugged me tightly. "I didn't fall in love with you because you've got a dick, John. I fell in love with who you are. If you'd have been born a girl, I still would have fallen in love with you. The idea of you dressing like a girl, or even doing things with Jim, doesn't upset me or make me want to turn away from you. If anything, it's exciting."

She relaxed her hug, and put her head on my shoulder. "I want you to be happy. I want you to be comfortable with who you are, whether that's masculine or feminine."

"I don't know..." I said. However, a small voice in my mind kept saying that she could possibly be right.

"Tell you what," she said. "Try it for today. We'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. OK?"

"One day at a time," I mused. "I can do that. Ok."

She beamed, then kissed me fiercely. She helped me dress then helped me with makeup. I wore nylons for the first time. They felt fantastic on my smooth legs.

Finally, she placed the wig on my head. "You need to grow your hair out," she said, adjusting it. "Then we can get rid of the wig."

I nodded. I'd had long hair as a teenager, and having it again wouldn't be too drastic a step.

I admired myself in the full-length mirror as Dottie finished getting ready. Damn, I did look good! I loved the way the nylons looked and felt on my legs.

I picked up my wallet from the dresser, then gave Dottie a confused look since I didn't have any pockets to put it in. She took it from my hand and dropped it into her purse. "We'll go purse-shopping for you soon," she said, with a gleam in her eyes. Dottie liked purse-shopping.

"Ready?" she asked me.

I took in a deep breath and let it out explosively. "Yes," I said. There was a hitch of nervousness in my voice.

The closer we walked to the front door, the more nervous I became. By the time Dottie opened it, my hand was trembling. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I could step outside or not.

Dottie took my hand in hers and squeezed it softly. "You can do this," she encouraged. Still holding my hand she stepped out the door, almost towing me behind her. I walked to the car and quickly jumped into the passenger seat. Once seated, I kept my head down, staring at my lap.

"You're doing fine," Dottie said as she sat in the driver's seat.

I was hoping my nervousness would go down on the drive to Jim and Cathy's house, but it didn't. I just knew that the cars that we passed on the road saw me as a man dressed up like a woman. I could feel their disdain, hear them snickering at me in my mind, even though I never lifted my eyes to the road.

"We're here," Dottie said, pulling into a long driveway.

Surprised at how quickly we'd gotten there, I looked up. "Wow," I said, looking at their house approaching. It was big, and set quite far back from the road. It was easily twice the size of our house.

"I know, right?" Dottie laughed as she parked the car and turned off the ignition. "Wait till you see the inside. It's GORGEOUS."

I couldn't see any other houses from where Jim and Cathy's house sat, so I was a little less nervous when I got out of the car and followed her to the front door. I expected her to knock, but instead she surprised me by pulling a key out of her purse and unlocking the door.

"Cathy gave me a key," she explained when I gave her a questioning look, then opened the door and we stepped in.

"Cathy? Jim? We're here," she called out as we went into what I assumed was the living room.

Cathy appeared first. She walked over to Dottie and kissed her, then kissed me too. Jim appeared a moment later.

"Hello, beautiful," he said to me, putting his arms around me and pulling me against him. I turned my head up as he bent his head forward, our lips meeting. The kiss went on long enough for Dottie and Cathy to snicker.

I was starting to get really turned on by the time he broke the kiss. "C'mon, let me show you around," he said, taking my hand. As we walked out of the living room, I gave a questioning look at Dottie.

"I've been here before," she said, sitting down on the couch with Cathy. "I wanted to talk to Cathy anyway."

The house was as impressive inside as it was outside. Five bedrooms, one turned into a study, and a den with a wet bar. The living room was huge, probably half the size of my and Dottie's entire house. I actually "ooh'd" at the kitchen. Big, with lots of counter space and stainless steel everything. I felt a twinge of jealousy...the things I could cook in there!!

"So what do you think of our humble abode?" Jim smiled.

"It's beautiful," I answered.

"I'm glad you think so," he replied. There was a lilt, a happiness in his voice. We went back to the living room.

"So, lunch?" Cathy said when we returned. "I was thinking Venustiano's. I'm in the mood for Italian."

"Uh," I stammered. "I thought we were having lunch here?"

"Joanie's nervous about being outside, being seen as a woman," Dottie explained to Cathy and Jim.

"Nonsense," Jim scoffed. "People will see you and wonder who that hot chick on my arm is."

"I don't...uh, I think I'd like to stay here," I said quickly. "Please?"

"No, baby," Jim said firmly.

Both Cathy and Dottie laughed when I blurted out, "Uh...we can stay here and I'll suck your dick after we eat! Just don't make me go outside!"

Jim chuckled. "Nice try, but we're still going. ALL of us."

I gave Dottie a pleading look.

"No, Joanie, you need to do this. It won't be anywhere near as bad as you fear, I promise," she said.

I was outnumbered and I knew it. "Fine," I said grumpily. At least I wouldn't be by myself.

Lunch was good. I was very nervous as we walked into the restaurant but as time went by and nobody pointed and laughed at me, I began to relax. It helped when Jim said that several guys had checked me out, but I wasn't sure if he was being serious or just trying to make me feel better.

Lunch was delicious, and afterwards we went back to their house. For a change, Dottie sat next to me on the couch with Jim and Cathy across the coffee table from us. As we sat in the living room, Dottie asked me, "So you like their house?"

"God, yes," I laughed. "It's beautiful. And the kitchen is incredible."

Jim and Cathy exchanged a significant look, then nodded to Dottie.

"Joanie, honey," she said, hesitantly, "what do you think about moving in with Jim and Cathy?"

"Uh, what?" I said, utterly blindsided by her question. That she called me "Joanie" again didn't even register.

"Moving in with Jim and Cathy," she repeated.

"What?" I said again, my mind still not comprehending what I was hearing.

"Living with Cathy and Jim," she said.

"Why? Where is this coming from?" I asked slowly.

Dottie turned to Jim and Cathy. "Can we have a moment alone?" she asked them.

"Of course," Jim said. They rose off the loveseat and walked out of the living room.

"Ok," she said, nervously. "Everything out in the open. I've been keeping something from you."

My heart dropped and I felt a knot form in my throat. I knew it, she was fucking Jim. And he was probably better in bed than me. A bigger dick, as I've seen AND experienced. More of a "man" than me. He could probably give her the baby she wanted when I couldn't. And he was a lot more successful than me, richer than me. I was going to be replaced...

"Cathy and I have been seeing each other for a lot longer than I told you," she said.

Wait, what?

"You're not fucking Jim?" I managed to croak out.

A look of confusion crossed her face. "No. Why would you think that?" she asked.

"I, uh..." My voice trailed off. I couldn't voice my fears.

She saw me flounder and helped me. "You think that Jim and I are sleeping together? Is that it?"

Unable to speak, I nodded.

She smiled. "No, silly. I told you I loved you regardless. There isn't a man alive that can replace you. It's Cathy."

"How long...." I croaked out.

"A little over a year," she said. "It went from just sex to...well, something more. I care about her like I care about you."

"What about Jim?" I asked. "He doesn't have a problem with you and her?"

"Not in the least," she said. "In case you haven't noticed, he's attracted to girly boys. Like you. They love each other, but they mostly do their own thing sexually."

Still overwhelmed by everything, I completely missed that she'd called me a "girly boy". What did dawn on me was that the dots that needed connecting finally came together in my mind.

"So..." I said, slowly, "all this was so that you and Cathy could be 'together'?" Unbidden, my eyes were starting to fill up with tears.

Dottie nodded, her face with an expression I'd never seen before: determination, tinged by worry. She quickly added, "'Together', but with you. And Jim too, of course. I care about Cathy and want to be with her, but I never want to give you up at the same time. And Cathy would never give up Jim."

"This is too much, Dottie," I said. "I'm not comfortable with this. This is...too fast, too sudden."

"I didn't mean this instant," she said quickly, mollifying. "When you...we...are ready."

I didn't answer, trying to find the words to convey the feelings of fear and uncertainty I was having, but not being able to. I stared at her helplessly.

She put her head on my shoulder. "We'll talk about it more tonight, when you and I are in bed. Ok?" That she stressed the "you and I" part did make me feel a little better. It made me feel like she wasn't really throwing me to the wind over Cathy.

Dottie sensed my mood, and we made our apologies to Jim and Cathy and left. She drove, and my mind was so wrapped up in what she told me that I barely noticed getting out of the car and walking into the house.

There was a uncomfortable cloud in the air and neither of us talked much. She did ask that I stay dressed as Joanie for the rest of the day, which I reluctantly agreed to. When we went to bed, however, I made love to her as a man. The promised conversation that we were supposed to have, the one about moving in with Jim and Cathy, never came up.

As we laid there afterwards, with her asleep in my arms, sleep eluded me as my mind went over the events of the day. I knew that I loved Dottie completely and unconditionally. That wouldn't ever change. However, I realized that being with Jim filled a need I didn't know I had. It was something of a shock to me that I LIKED being his "girl". My sleep that night was troubled by the realization.

Dottie had already left for work by the time I woke up. I found a note next to the coffee pot.

"Jim asked if Joanie can come by his house so he can talk with her. He'll be home all day." She signed it off with lots of hearts drawn on the paper.

Part of me was excited about the idea of seeing Jim, but another part was worried. I'd have to drive myself, as Joanie, to his house. Dottie had to almost pull me out of the house yesterday and I wasn't sure I could walk out of the house dressed like a girl by myself.

It took the rest of the morning to work up the nerve, but eventually I showered and shaved, put on make-up (proud that I was able to do it without Dottie or Cathy's help), got dressed, and forced myself out of the house and into the car.

The closer to Jim's house I got, the more excited I became. By the time I knocked on his door, I could barely keep my hands from shaking.

"Hello, beautiful," Jim said, smiling, as he opened the door to see me standing there. I blushed at his compliment, then quickly walked inside. He closed the door, then took me into his arms and kissed me deeply.

I melted, luxuriating in the sensation of his strong arms around me and his tongue dancing in my mouth. When he finally broke the kiss, he looked down at me and said, "You don't have to knock, you know."

"I-I didn't know," I stammered. "I wasn't sure if I should just walk in."

"Of course you should," he said, releasing me then taking my hand and leading me through the house. Before I realized it, we were in a bedroom. I felt a thrill run through me as I realized what he wanted, then a shock as I realized it was what I wanted too.

"Get in bed," he murmured, taking his shirt off. My mouth watered at the sight of his cock when he pulled his pants and underwear off, then I quickly stripped down to panties and bra and sat on the edge of the bed.

He walked up in front of me, and I leaned forward and took his hardening cock into my mouth. God, I love the way he tasted and the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of lips!

"Oh, Joanie baby," he groaned as my mouth flew up and down his shaft. "Jesus baby, slow down...you're gonna make me cum too quick!"

I didn't stop, or even slow down. Making him cum was all that was in my mind.

"Joanieeee," he moaned softly, his hips twitching in time with my movements, then I felt his cock throb hard. I swallowed and swallowed as his glorious cream filled my mouth, only stopping when he grabbed my head and gently pulled his cock out of my mouth.

"Damn, baby," he said, a bit breathlessly, looking down at me as I looked up at him hungrily with cum-coated lips. "That was the fastest I've ever cum in my life, but somehow I think you needed that more than me," he said.

I blushed at the truth of his words. I had needed it, and needed more.

"Fuck me?" I asked, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

He smiled, then pushed me towards the middle of the bed. As soon as I was on my back, he pulled my panties off then crawled on top of me, and I felt a rush as his weight settled on me. I jerked back as his lips found mine...he had to be able to taste his cum on my lips, but that didn't stop him. His tongue explored the inside of my mouth as I moaned softly into it.

He slid down my body, his lips trailing kisses down my face and neck, then started sucking and lightly biting my nipples. GOD, that felt good!! My dick, pressed against his chest, throbbed hard at the sensation. I could tell that he was stroking himself back to hardness as his mouth paid attention to my little titties.

"On your knees, baby," he growled, rolling off of me abruptly. I groaned, not wanting him to stop what he was doing but rolled over and put my knees beneath me, my ass exposed and available to him. Eyes closed, I felt him shift on the bed and expected to feel his cock press against my rosebud. I knew it would hurt, but I wanted him to RAM himself into me and fuck me long and hard.

Instead, I felt a tickle against my asshole. I jerked at the sensation and realized it was his tongue. It traced lightly around my opening, then pushed a little bit inside. It felt...weird, but erotic. He continued to lick my ass...my "pussy"...making me squirm.

It felt good, but it wasn't what I wanted. "Fuck me, please," I groaned.

I felt him pull back, then heard him chuckle. "Anxious, are we?" he said.

"Yes," I moaned in frustration. I was so goddamned turned on. I needed him inside of me.

The bed jiggled again, and I felt his cockhead press against my asshole, already wet with his spittle. He slowly pushed forward into me, but I didn't want slow and gentle. I pushed back against him hard and his cock speared into me. I gasped in pain and triumph as he filled me completely.

"Fuck!" Jim groaned at the sensation, his hands tightening on my hips. "You're one horny bitch, aren't you?"

"Yes," I moaned. "Fuck me...fuck me hard."

I don't know how long he fucked me. The harder he rammed himself into me, the more I begged for it. All I was aware of was his cock pounding into me, being his, being used by him. My hand slid underneath me and I stroked myself in time with his thrusts. I came, stayed hard, and was stroking myself to another orgasm when he stiffened, pumped into me hard enough to shove me forward on the bed, and came inside me.

"Yessssssssssss," I hissed, feeling his cock throb inside me. My own dick throbbed as I felt his cum pulse into me, and I joined him in a second orgasm.

Slowly, he relaxed, letting his cock slide out of me then collapsing next to me on the bed. Out of breath and feeling quite sated, I rolled onto my side facing away from him. Now that I'd cum...twice!...I was a little embarrassed at how much of a slut I was acting like.

"You're...incredible," he said, moving up behind me.

I didn't respond, just smiled.

"So, have you two talked about it? Moving in, that is?" he asked, his arm going around me and pulling me close to him. His soft wet cock nestled in the the cleft of my ass.

"No," I admitted. "We were going to, but never got around to it."

"I understand," he said. "It's a big step, I know. But I want you to know that this would work...you living here. And Dottie too, of course."

That he added Dottie as almost an afterthought made me warm inside. I could tell that he was interested in having ME there. I felt desired, and that feeling was incredible.

"What do we do with our house?" I mused, as much to myself as to Jim. We still had twenty-five more years of mortgage payments to deal with.

"Sell it," Jim said, and I could feel his shrug from behind me. "Or keep it and rent it out if that would make you more comfortable. That way, if things don't work out like you want them to, you'll still have a place."