How to Build Self-Worth

Such was the case this past Sunday. I woke up a little late and had to hurry to get to my dad's before church started for our traditional "pre-church fuck". It's something we'd started years ago as a whim, my dad fucking me just minutes before we left so that when we walked in and took a seat barely ten minutes later I was still tingling between my legs and his cum would be dripping out of me. Mmmmmmm, talk about an erotic situation! It was even better if my pastor was there to shake my hand without a clue as to where it had been a few minutes earlier.

Typically Sunday morning sex with my dad is was what I call quick and dirty sex. I don't undress but rather simply lift my skirt or dress up to reveal my panties. True, wearing them is a bit of a waste of time but he seems to get off taking them off of me. Once my bare bottom is exposed and ready for him to fuck we don't waste any time with foreplay. Usually I'll play with myself during the drive over so I'm ready as soon as he is - which is as I walk in the door and he is standing there with a full erection in anticipation. Typically he cums in just a few minutes which is good as we end up late to church half the time. It's more of a "tick in the box" sort of thing than a real fucking but it's important to me that we maintain the tradition, especially now that I'm married. Steve rarely went to church with me so it's just me and my dad, the way it used to be.

This morning I arrived to find my dad in the garage packing up his football tailgating gear. Damn, I'd forgotten it was a Steeler game day! Oops, Steve was still sound asleep when I left the house, something my dad was quick to point out.

"Hey, where's your horny husband Kelly?" he asked as he packed, "We should've left a half hour ago. You didn't delay him, did you?"

Didn't I wish! My last view of Steve was laying naked on his side in bed, his wonderful dick all soft and flopped over against a lush bed of black pubic hair. Yes, I HAD been tempted but as late as I was already there just wasn't enough time.

"Noooooo, but you better call him as he was still sound asleep when I left."

My dad cursed softly and I admonished him for his language at which he just rolled his eyes.

"Daddy, it IS Sunday so of all days not to swear..."

"Yes my little church girl," he teased me, reaching out to pat my butt.

"Speaking of your little church girl...," I said softly, lifting my skirt and pulling my panties to the side to reveal my bare pussy, all wet and ready for him.

My dad sighed, "C'mon Kelly, how about a rain check? I'm already running late and your husband's not helping matters."

That may be true but by now his favorite parking spots would be taken anyway so what would it hurt to spend another five minutes maintaining our tradition? It was what I WANTED to tell him but instead I was an obedient daughter and didn't say anything more although my pussy certainly wasn't happy about the outcome. Like damn, I'd passed on Steve and now my own dad wasn't going to do me. Not a good start to my day.

My dad kissed and reached under my skirt to finger me quickly.

"Mmmmmmm, you're a horny girl this morning... Hmmmmmm, why don't you see if your Aunt Linda's hungry?"

As much as I knew my aunt would make me feel good, what I needed right then wasn't pussy - I wanted a hard COCK! It was one of those times when suddenly I wanted to be fucked so badly it was like my pussy hurt. Maybe it was because I was NOT going to get laid that made me so horny for it, who knows. Whatever it was, I was really feeling low suddenly.

"Daddyyyyyyyy, PLEASE... I want YOU to fuck me!" I begged him, reaching for his crotch and pressing against his dick.

"Kelly, how about just once giving your old man a break. I don't want to be out a mile away from the stadium and if the guys can't hold my space, that's where I'll be if I don't get going now, especially if I have to wake up your husband. So blame him, not me."

With that he kissed me and got in the car and drove off, leaving me standing there in the garage horny as hell. I looked at the large round Coca-Cola clock on the garage wall and saw I still had a half hour before the service was underway. The sign outside said it started on the hour but I knew it was more like a movie where the first fifteen minutes wee advertisements.

For a moment I thought about going up to see if my Aunt Linda was awake yet but then that would mean missing church. Unlike my dad who could get off in five minutes given the right incentive, once I got started with my aunt it would be an hour at least before I could get away again and I didn't want to miss church. Bad enough not getting laid but I wasn't going to compound things by not showing up for service either.

Hmmmmmm, fifteen minutes more or less... time for one thing to cure my "problem". I stepped into the basement from the garage and flopped down on the couch, my favorite spot in the family room. Many a time I'd laid here and gotten off, either by myself or with someone's help. Why not once more?

Pulling up my skirt, the couch felt cool against my butt as I sat back and spread my legs apart. Touching my crotch, it was slick with my wetness as I'd been practically dripping while hoping my dad would do me. It didn't help when he'd briefly put his finger up inside - not long enough to accomplish anything but enough for me to want more.

It took me less than ten minutes to get off as I rubbed myself with one hand and cradled my boobs with the other. While it may sound fast, in reality I was so horny that I had to hold myself back to stretch things out longer. Somehow or another my aunt didn't wake up although being two stories up from the basement I suppose the neighbors would've been complaining before that happened.

Feeling somewhat satiated but not fulfilled, I headed for church where hopefully I'd relax and settle down a little after being spurned by my father. While my pussy was tingling when I took my seat, it just wasn't the same as when I was holding in my dad's cum. Worse, when I got home I knew Steve would be gone to the game with my dad and who knew what time they'd be home. After the game they liked to hit the casino right down the block from the stadium. For all I knew they might be home until midnight, or later.

I knew things weren't right when in the middle of the pastor's prayer I found myself thinking about how much it bothered me to have my dad just toss aside our little tradition as if it meant nothing to him. Yes, I knew I was being harsh and with the exorbitant price he paid for his season tickets who could blame him for not wanting to be late. And yes, it was partially my fault for running so late that I was pressuring him when had I been on time then maybe he would have wanted to do me.

During the boring sermon I daydreamed about sex with my dad and how it has evolved over the past eleven and a half years. I wondered if the older couple beside me had any idea why I was smiling to myself. What if they knew my thoughts were about how I use to wait anxiously for him to come home from the office so I could throw myself into his arms and beg him to do me. It was like having sex for the first time all over again in that I couldn't get enough of his attention. True, he'd always paid me a LOT of attention before but nothing like the kind of attention he was giving me now.

During my later college years things cooled down between us of course for no other reason than I wasn't home. During those years my father turned to my younger cousin Kristi and I think that was when things really changed between us. Not that it was anything bad, just more mature and less frantic. After all, by the time I graduated I wasn't a teenager anymore so who could blame him for seeking one out?

It should go without saying that the biggest thing to happen to me which changed my relationship with my father was my marriage. It only makes sense as I was marrying a man to be my lifetime soul mate, partner and lover. I pledged myself to him, vowed to submit to him as the Bible commands, even more strongly than to my father. While my dad was still extremely important to me, my husband was now the number one man in my life and there was no way this couldn't be reflected in my sexual relationship with my dad. Still, I WAS still his only daughter and that was something no other man could claim. Steve was my husband but he never can take the place of my father in my heart - or my pussy.

As church finally let out I just sat there in the pew for a few moments, praying and looking to God for guidance. Over the past hour or so I'd done a lot of thinking and my mood had changed to something more melancholy than horny as it had been when I arrived. For the first time in ages I found myself doubting myself, almost like back when I was a young teen wondering if the boys would ever want me the way they did my best friend Beth with her ridiculously early developing bustline.

Indeed, it wasn't THAT many years ago that my dad wouldn't have turned me down for sex in ANY situation. When it came to concerns about his season tickets or his little girl's needs his priorities were perfectly clear. True, it wasn't HIS responsibility to submit to me like I did to him but still, he never turned me down out of love for me. Not that I had any doubt that he loved me now but obviously I didn't turn him on the same as I did as when I was a high school slut.

What really ticked me off was that even my own husband hadn't bothered to wake up to fuck me before I left. Sure he'd been out late the previous night with my Aunt to some sort of sex party but it wasn't like he was drunk or anything as alcohol isn't even permitted at those events since you only had to be eighteen to be there. OK, so maybe I could've helped jump-start things by starting to suck on his dick while he slept but I was already dressed in my Sunday church outfit so I would've had to undress first and then been even later to my dad's - not that it would've mattered as it turned out.

After leaving church I sat in my car, placing my Bible on the passenger seat and fastening my seat belt. Just as I was about to start the car I watched as a guy walked by with his two young girls in tow. Ahead of them were three teenagers I knew from the youth group, all three terrible teases. From what I'd heard that was all they did - tease, but they obviously had a great time doing it.

I smiled to myself as I watched the father holding his girl's hands but his eyes were fixed on the girls asses in front of them. Wow, when was the last time a man like him stared at MY ass? OK, so maybe I didn't wear quite as short of skirts as the girls were but then at 27 people stopped shaking their heads at "youthful inappropriate behavior" and started accusing you of flashing young boys and arresting you.

Wow... suddenly I felt SOOOOOO old. I bit my lip as I watched the girls move on, suddenly insanely jealous of their youth and blissfully naive existence. Those days had been so much fun and now they had passed on out of my life, at least it felt like they were.

The more I kept thinking about things the more I wallowed in self-pity and indulgence. No doubt had my cousin Kristi been with me she would've just slapped me and told me to get a grip which probably would've worked even up to this point. As it was I started the car but when I reached the end of the parking lot instead of turning left to go home, suddenly I made a hard right turn, almost smacking into a car that blared its horn as it swerved to miss me. The driver flashed a middle finger at me and I couldn't help but think he had probably just come from church. Just another hypocrite.

Where was I heading? For the moment I didn't know other than it wasn't home. No way was I about to sit in our lonely apartment and feel sorry for myself all afternoon and night. For now I was just heading towards the city, destination unknown...

It was like I was on autopilot as I navigated the busy post-church traffic and entered the long tunnel heading into Pittsburgh. Breaking out into the sunlight on the other, I smiled as I always did as if by magic the city that hadn't even been visible on the horizon a mile or so behind me was now suddenly laid out in front of me. Crossing the river I headed downtown to my favorite hotel. I guess when you're feeling down there's no better place than one filled with pleasant past memories.

Seeing the hotel ahead I wondered how many times had I'd been here now for one thing or another. Everything from meeting one lonely husband for a night of adultery to being one of the "party favors" along with my cousin at a company party where for over three hours I was fucked almost non-stop and finished the night literally covered in cum from head to toe (yes, some men actually like to cum on a girl's feet... go figure.)

I recalled once how Steve had brought me here once while we dated, daring me to see how many men would try to hit on me. He scored me on a scale of 1 to 10 where a one was leading from them groping me on the dance floor all the way to a ten if they tried to give me their room key. At the time that's all it had been - one massive tease for the benefit of my boyfriend but at times like this it brought back so many memories and thoughts.

Thanks to my antics with Steve, I found myself thinking the large lounge that was always filled with business travelers from out of town of all shapes and sizes. It was early Sunday afternoon but I imagined that for men traveling it would be a time when they had nothing better to do than to sit in the lounge and drink while they watch the game on the big screen. No doubt being away from home they'd be a bit horny. Mix that with a few drinks to lower their inhibitions and who knows what they might do if a girl walked in all by herself. Hmmm, maybe I should find out?

By now I was at the entrance and decided to splurge on valet parking. Hotel garages can be dark and creepy, especially when you're a single girl all alone. As I came to a stop the valet opened my door and I smiled as I noticed his eyes drifting down to where my dress was pulling up as I worked my way out of the car. I suppose a "nice" girl would've tugged it down as she turned in the seat but the last thing I was in the mood for was to be a "nice" girl.

Taking my valet ticket I started to turn to go inside when I thought for a moment and asked him to wait. Undoing my coat, I tossed it out flat on the back seat so I wouldn't have to worry about it inside. Maybe they had a coat check but if they didn't then I wouldn't want to carry it around with me all afternoon. I felt goose bumps rise on my exposed arms and shoulders but it was a quick few steps to get inside where it was nice and warm again.

First things first... the ladies room to check myself out and freshen up a bit. All I had with my was a small purse just big enough to hold my driver's license, a small hair brush, one tube of lipstick, a VERY small bottle of perfume (the samples they hand out in stores work great for this purpose) and a little cash. It was just a carry purse without a strap but a girl can't leave without something in her hand.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I fixed my hair and added a little lipstick before stepping back to take stock. My dress wasn't one of my sluttier ones as I had to wear it to church but at the same time it wasn't exactly overly conservative. I smiled as I thought to myself that I had to maintain my reputation after all. If I ever showed up there in a long dress to my ankles I think people would have stared more at me than they do now. It had thin straps to hold it up which to me worked better than going strapless as straps allowed for a deeper cleavage and it didn't have to fit so tight against me to keep it from falling down. It wasn't like some of my "little black dresses" where half my boobs show nor did it ride up as high as my typical "date-night" dresses and skirts. The fact I wasn't wearing panties wasn't obvious and I would have had to practically pull up the hem for it to ride high enough to show anyone.

What I DID like about this dress was the way it clung to me. It was like pulling over a tube top that extended below my hips. Tight on my ass, it then pulled in tight along the tops of my legs all the way down to maybe a third of the way to my knees. I remember the first time I wore a dress like this and how weird it felt to walk in it. It was like somebody had wrapped a huge bandage around me from bust to thighs. Being so tight it didn't ride up all that much as a loose skirt would but at the same time when I DID pull it up, it stayed up - a useful trait at times.

One thing I liked about this hotel was that they provided warm cloth washcloths in the restroom. I dampened one with hot water and went inside the handicapped toilet where I had enough room to move around without banging into the toilet paper holder. Lifting up my dress, I reached down and cleaned my pussy to wipe off any of my dad's cum that had leaked out of me during the service. The guy who left it there might enjoy seeing it but I didn't think anyone else would be turned on seeing dried cum on me, especially down there.

Using a second washcloth to dry me off, I pulled my skirt back down and straightened it out. Opening the door, I almost bumped into a couple of older women that had somehow entered without me hearing them. Thankfully I'd hidden inside the toilet as I could just imagine what they might have said had they walked in and seen my cleaning dried cum off my pussy and thighs. One last touch of perfume to my neck and wrists and I was off...

Entering the lounge, it was obviously game day as every TV in the place was tuned to one game or another, half of them to the Steelers of course. For a moment I thought of my dad and Steve and wondered how they were doing. It wasn't raining yet but the skies were threatening. Why people want to sit in a cold football stadium in the rain when they could be home warm and dry is beyond me - especially when I could be sucking their dicks as they watched the game!

I took a quick look around, debating where to sit. There were a few tables as well as booths but they didn't seem appropriate for what I was planning. The bar area had high stools and at the moment only had a couple of guys there so I walked over slowly and lifted myself up to take a seat. Crossing my legs, I could feel my dress trying to pull up but as tight as it was on me it only came up a few inches keeping my ass well covered. I was sitting sideways on the stool so I had to twist myself to face the bar, leaning on it slightly to keep my balance.

The barkeeper came over quickly and asked if he could help me. For a brief moment I was tempted to tell him just HOW he could help me but instead I just asked softly for a white zinfandel. He poured me a glass, a little fuller than I think he normally would have and I just smiled and asked if I could run a tab. If I was lucky, I wouldn't be paying it!

Looking around as discreetly as I could, I counted maybe five men in the place. Not surprisingly there were no women except for the waitress wearing just a football jersey and dark fishnet stockings. From the looks of things there wasn't anything else under the jersey. She looked maybe in her late teens or early twenties and was obviously working for tips given the way she was flirting with each guy and moving her hips as she walked the room.

So much for the competition, LOL. All the guys were mostly in their thirties and forties from the look of it. One guy might have been older than the others but then it could have been just the grey hair. A couple were in dress shirts and slacks while the others were more casual - like jeans and a polo shirt, that sort of thing. The old guy wore a sport coat but he seemed to be the type that never went anywhere without it.