How to Build Self-Worth

The other two guys at the bar were each a couple of seats away on either side of me. They seemed more fixated on the game than anything else. My eyes met one guy's seated at a table a few feet away. He smiled at me and nodded, almost like he was acknowledging my outfit and how I looked in it - or at least that was HOW I hoped he was thinking. I smiled back, nothing overdone but enough to let him know I was available.

He apparently got the message which both excited and worried me at the same time. Excited because he started to pick up his drink and napkin to move over to next to me. Worried because it was just a little too easy. Was he a player? The last thing I needed was a serial adulterer looking just to add another notch to his belt.

"Hi, my name's Kyle," he introduced himself, holding out a hand for me to shake. I noticed the wedding ring immediately.

"I'm Kelly, nice to meet you Kyle," I responded, accepting his hand and shaking it briefly. I saw him glance down at my hand and he certainly couldn't have missed the diamond on my ring finger.

"So pardon the cliche Kelly... but what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this on a Sunday afternoon?"

Cliche... yes. Did I mind... no. I glanced at his hand and saw the wedding ring which made me feel good. It was the single guys you really had to watch out for.

"Nothing really, just thought I'd have a little wine."

Kyle looked at my wine glass, then at my legs and then finally up top my boobs and over to my hand where I was sure this time that he noticed my own wedding ring.

"So you're a Steelers fan?" I nodded and he smiled as he asked, "I take it your husband is as well?"

"Well, he's at the game with my dad so I guess you could say that," I said with a slight frown.

"And he left you home all alone?"

I just nodded and he continued, "Well I have to say, if MY wife looked like you I that dress I'd never leave her home alone, let alone in a place like this."

"Thanks," I said trying to act embarrassed at his compliments.

"Seriously... that dress fits you like a glove."

"Well I'm glad SOMEBODY noticed today," I sighed, taking another sip of wine. Kyle put his hand out and rested it on my knee. It was a little bold but nothing overly so. I pretended I didn't notice.

"So why are YOU here today Kyle?"

Kyle rolled his eyes and answered, "Business... I'm from Atlanta and this is my first time in Pittsburgh. It's a nice city. Was hoping to get tickets to the game but with the weather and all I guess that it worked out for the best."

Not exactly telling me much which was actually a good sign. Guys who jabber too much are usually just all talk and no action.

"Family?" I asked.

"Just the wife these days... empty nesters. Two daughter, both graduated and married," he replied and then asked me, "And you?"

Hmm, obviously I'd misjudged his age. He had to be in his mid-forties I was thinking based on his introduction. Oh well, why not? "Just married last year, no kids yet."

Kyle huffed a little saying, "Don't rush into it, enjoy life. We got pregnant two months after the wedding so it was like barely had a honeymoon and then it was all about kids for the next 25 years."

"We can't have kids," I said with my eyes downward, "But we're looking to adopt."

I didn't see any reason to explain WHY we couldn't have kids. Besides, it might not help me along here if this guy found out that my husband was sterile from an STD he'd picked up before moving back to Pittsburgh with his mother. It wasn't anything that could hurt me now but during his last physical the doctor did some tests in case we wanted to start a family and that was when we learned the awful news.

Kyle at least had the common sense to avoid pursuing the subject. In any case I changed the subject quickly.

"So it must be nice now to have the house with just you and your wife," I said, trying to draw him out a little.

"You would think," he answered, looking a little dejected now himself, "Things don't always work out that way. Now if I had a wife like YOU then I wouldn't be looking for an excuse to leave town every chance I get."

With that he moved his hand up my leg. It was just a fraction of an inch and almost imperceptible should anyone be watching but I could feel his touch against my skin.

"And I bet you wouldn't leave me home for a stupid football game."

With that I acted as though I was fidgeting in my seat with the effect being I pulled my leg up a little but higher to expose just a little more thigh. Kyle responded with some movement of his own such that he was now sitting right up close to me with his hand now firmly on my thigh.

"You know Kyle, I bet your wife wouldn't appreciate where your hand is right now," I teased him but making no effort to push him away.

"I really don't give a crap what she thinks anymore," he grumbled, spreading his fingers apart to cover more of my leg with his hand.

At that point something happened on the TV as groans emerged from the other guys watching which caused us both to look up and see what had happened at the game across the river. Personally I could have cared less but it seemed the appropriate thing to do at the time.

The result was a bit of a reset as Kyle moved his hand back to my knee again. We started talking about Pittsburgh, things to do and such. Other than what he had told me earlier, the topic of his family and marriage stayed off the table... or the bar I guess in this case. Actually that was a good sign so far as I was concerned. Had he brought out the family photos and bragged about his wife then anything more than a creeping hand would have most likely been off the menu.

One glass of wine down and another magically appeared. Kyle smiled and told me not to worry, he was on an expense account and would take care of my bill. Yep, works every time!

One glass of wine was unusual enough for me but to tackle a second was definitely not my normal routine. I'd have been just as happy to order a Diet Coke but then I'm sure Kyle was working on the assumption that if he got me drunk then I'd be easier prey. Little did he know just how easy I was planning to be!

"So tell me Kelly, you're pretty dressed up and here you are wandering into a hotel lounge on a Sunday afternoon," Kyle said offhandedly, trying not to appear as nosey as I knew he wanted to be, "I hope you don't mind if I ask why?"

I hesitated before answering, not because I didn't know how to answer but I wanted to appear not to know.

"Well, this is what I wore to church today and I didn't go home to change."

Kyle smiled at that and I noticed his hand moved back up again to where it had been before.

"Really? Wow, I need to start going to church if babes like you come dressed like this," he chuckled and then added, "You know, I've always wondered how a girl can even sit in a tight dress like that."

We both laughed at that one, more than it qualified for but it didn't matter. Then he just sat there and waited for me to respond to the other part of his question. Again I paused for moment and averted my eyes as if I was embarrassed to say anything.

The hand inched up a little more to where he was just a couple of inches from the hem of my dress.

"Hey... it's OK, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I took another swallow from my wine glass and sighed softly.

"Guess I'm just a little depressed is all."

Kyle squeezed my thigh and said, "So why don't you tell me a little more about this husband of yours."

About the LAST thing I was going to tell him was the truth so I made up what I thought was a pretty nifty story.

"I don't know... we were high school sweethearts and I've never really dated anyone else. He's never ignored me like he did today... well for the most month or so."

With that I pretended to hold back tears and noted that Kyle took advantage of my "weakness" to inch his fingers up until the tips were just up to my dress.

"Sorry," I said with a little choke in my voice, "I just worry he's cheating on me."

Kyle leaned over until his face was maybe a foot or so from mine.

"Well, all I can say is that if you were MY wife I'd never even look at another woman."

Little did he know just how many other women my husband had done a lot more than just look at since we got married, LOL.

"Well, I noticed his shirt smelled of perfume that wasn't mine after he came home late from work last week. And then it seems lately like he isn't interested in... well, you know... sex."

Rather than push his fingers under my dress which would have been pretty forward given how tight it was around my legs, Kyle started to slowly rub my leg, running his hand from my knee to my dress hem.

"Sounds like a jerk to me," Kyle murmured and then he quickly apologized, "Sorry, that was uncalled for and I shouldn't have said anything."

"No it's OK," I assured him, "I guess I was just thinking that maybe I should give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Have you ever cheated on him before?" Kyle asked in a tone that was maybe more optimistic than what would have been considered appropriate.

I just shook my head and bit my lower lip before answering with, "Oh no! Actually he's the only one I've ever done it with."

Well, that was quite a whopper but one thing about men... they'll believe just about anything if they're horny enough.

Kyle sat up a little and I wondered if maybe I'd laid it on a little too thick but then I knew I had my hook caught.

"You know Kelly, that's pretty incredible. You just don't meet many people who can say that these days... you know, they've never been with anyone other than their spouse. Especially someone that's as beautiful as you are."

That was sweet of him to say about me, especially given that such compliments and observations were exactly why I decided to take this little jaunt. Another drink of wine and I pretended to be getting a little bit tipsy. It wasn't all that hard as I was indeed starting to feel the effects.

Kyle's hand was slowly working its way from the top of my leg in to between them but with my legs crossed it wasn't all that easy. In any other situation I would have kept them crossed but in this case I thought a little un-ladylike behavior was warranted so I lifted my leg and placed it aside the other with just a little bit of separation, using my heels to grab the bar-stool underneath to keep my balance.

The whole time Kyle never moved his hand so when I was situated again I leaned over and whispered, "Does this make it easier?"

For just a moment I thought Kyle was embarrassed but then I think he figured if I was going to be so bold then why not go for it?

"You know Kelly, for a young wife who hasn't been with any other man other than her husband you're being pretty forward."

I knew where he was leading me. Was this real or just a setup? Maybe I was a hooker looking for some action. Even worse, what if I was an undercover officer looking to bust some out of town guy on the hunt for some local pussy?

"Ok, you got me," I confessed and I could have laughed at the expression on his face. Even his hand started to pull back so I reached down and put my hand over his, pulling it back until he was in between my legs.

"I HAVE had sex with another guy but that was at my bachelorette party and they got me so drunk I didn't know what I was doing. The only reason I even know it happened was because they took a video of us. Well, I know better than to drink too much since then!"

As if to emphasize the point, I reached over and grabbed my wine glass, taking a good couple of gulps this time.

"So THAT's what you weren't telling me?" he asked, looking a little bewildered.

"Isn't that enough?" I said as if I couldn't believe what he had said, "It's not like I'm some kind of prostitute or undercover cop or anything like that."

"Well that's not what I meant," he quickly said, backtracking from the conversation.

"So then tell me Kyle," I whispered just enough to be heard above the game, "what DID you mean?"

The gears were spinning in his head as he seemed to be debating with himself on what to do next. Was I just a tease? Was I on the hunt? For that matter, could he believe anything I'd told him? Was I worth the risk?

Considering my entire purpose in being here today was to see whether or not men were interested enough in me to take whatever risks were needed to have me, I'd say I'd probably already achieved that goal. Kyle wanted me, no doubt about that. I felt myself warming inside as his hand moved along the inner part of my thigh, my most sensitive part of my leg.

He wasn't answering so I decided to up the stakes a little bit.

"I tell you what Kyle... let's make a bet. What do you say... am I wearing panties or not?"

"And how will I know if you're telling the truth?" he said, a smile coming to his face.

"Let's just say you won't have to just take my word for it," I said in a teasing voice as I put my hand over his and pressed it against me tighter.

Kyle then pretended to go through this soul-searching muse as to what to do when I knew what his answer would be from the start. He didn't disappoint me.

"So what if I get it right? Wrong?"

I giggled and licked my lips just enough for him to see me do it.

"Does it matter?"

At that Kyle laughed again but I could see the lust building in his eyes. For the first time since we met I felt confident that he was going to fuck me. The only questions now were when and how.

"Why don't you stand up for me then and let me get a good look at your butt?" he asked rhetorically.

I just shrugged and slipped off the edge of the stool, not bothering to hike my dress back down to where it should have been. Well, "should" from the standpoint of Emily Post, not mine.

"So... like my ass Kyle?" I teased him as I turned slowly in front of him. he started to reach out to touch it but I pushed his hand away and warned him, "No touching, that wouldn't be fair. You have to guess based on what you see only."

Kyle acted as though he was making a determination to bring about world peace or some other momentous decision. Putting his hand to his chin, he gazed at my ass for far longer than it should have taken for such an easy decision. Finally he sat back and crossed his arms almost defiantly as he rendered his decision.

"It would be easy to say you weren't wearing anything under that sexy dress based on how tight it conforms to your body and the total lack of panty lines. Still... given the technology today panty lines aren't as easy to spot these days and frankly, you just don't seem like the type who would go out in public commando. Yeah... you talk a big game but I suspect that's all it is... talk."

Wow, he really didn't have a clue! Still, I thought it was pretty hot that he had no idea about my background I wondered what he would say if he knew the truth about the hundreds of men who have fucked me over the years, not to mention the who knows how many that I've blown.

"Oh really?" I said, my turn to cross arms.

"Yeah, it may not be much but it's there I'll bet," he said rather smugly as if he had me nailed.

He waited for me to respond but I just sat there with a slight grin, teasing him as best I could. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Soooooo? Am I right or wrong? I KNOW I'm right so pay up sister.

I leaned back in the stool and crossed my legs once again, letting my dress ride up even higher this time but still well low enough that he couldn't verify his guess one way or the other.

"Let me put it this way Kyle," I said slowly, "What you see is what I got."

Kyle just laughed softly and shook his head in protest. "No way, I bet you've NEVER gone out bare ass in public."

I almost choked trying to hold back the laughter. Just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.

"So what do I get for my prize?" he asked.

Shaking my head, I answered, "Noooooo, you don't get a prize because you're wrong."

"Prove it then," he came back quickly and rather forcefully this time.

"Here? In the middle of the lounge?" I protested in mock modesty. I shook my head answering with, "No way, there's people watching us for goodness sake."

"Well, it appears we're at a standoff. I claim I'm right and you say I'm wrong but yet you won't provide any proof one way or the other. Doesn't seem quite fair to me."

He seemed to be becoming truly agitated but I wasn't about to go out of character this easily and just sat there silently as if I didn't know what to say which just seemed to agitate him all the more.

"So what's this all about anyway? You some kind of cock teaser or what? Hubby leaves you all alone so you go out on the prowl but when things get a little too personal you pull back? Yeah, I should've seen it coming."

I pretended to be hurt by his comments and if I was a better actress I'd have tears streaming but it was the best I could do just to look down and act as though I was upset.

"I am NOT a cock teaser," I murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

I'm sure in his mind I was playing right into his hands. Lonely housewife spurned by her husband out trying to act out her revenge only to have her bluff called and now wanting to prove she wasn't bluffing in the first place. Of course all that meant was now I was in position to do what he wanted... or so he thought. Little did he realize that now I had HIM in the exact position I wanted!

Kyle reached into his short pocket and pulled out his room key, putting it on the bar and sliding it over in front of me.

"The prove it... here's my room key. Go up ahead of me and I'll be there in a few minutes."

I wanted to grin and give a big "YES!" but instead I stayed in character and acted as though I wasn't going to take it.

Kyle reached out and put his hand on my leg, this time sliding it up until his fingers were under the hem up to his palm placing them precariously close to me crotch but still far enough away as to keep him in the dark as to my underwear status.

"C'mon Kelly... you know you want it," he urged me, "Don't you want to show your husband how it feels to be left all alone while he goes off and has a good time at the game. I bet he's flirting with every girl he sees. Why let him do this to you without fighting back?"

I picked up the card key but just held it between my thumb and forefinger, holding it against the bar and rotating it slowly from one edge to the next.

"I don't know... I guess I really hadn't thought this through..."

Kyle huffed and held out his hand, "Screw it then bitch. Give me back my key and then go back to being a slave to your asshole husband. You deserve him."

I clutched the key in my hand and held it to my chest defiantly.

"Fuck you," I said which was quite uncharacteristic of me as I almost never swear but then everything I was doing was not "normal" for me so why not? "I'll show you... but you better be there in two minutes or I walk."

With that I slide off the chair and without bothering to pull down my dress I started to walk out of the lounge. Just as I reached the entrance I turned and headed back to him, pretending to be sheepish.

"What room number?" I said with a slight frown.

Since he hadn't told me I couldn't tell from the key where to go. Of course I knew that from the moment I picked up the key but I thought it added a nice touch to emphasize my lack of experience in such situations.

"628... turn right out of the elevator and it's on the left," he said, clearly pleased with himself.

I headed back out again and couldn't help but notice the looks from several of the guys. Maybe they were no wishing they'd been the ones to approach me when I came in instead of Kyle.

Without a look back I made my way to the elevators and pushed the UP button. A door instantly opened and I was on my way up.