tagHow ToHow to Make Love to Your Car

How to Make Love to Your Car


For most everyone's entire lifetime many people have had an ongoing love affair with their automobiles. While I have observed this phenomenon mostly in the United States, I have also seen the European versions of it displayed on the Autobahns. While the monster cars such as the Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Porsches will take anyone's breath away, I've seen similar devotion to Chevy Malibus, Honda Accords and especially the Volkswagen Beetle. Yes, millions around the world simply love their cars.

Oddly, while some cars will age and fall out of favor, some of the most devoted car lovers will carry on their affair for years and years as their ancient machines keep running and running. I have a feeling that while some people may not remember the first person they had sex with, I bet each and every one remembers their first car. Okay, some of these love affairs are fleeting as people trade in their cars every few years, I don't think anyone can resist that new car smell.

With all the love we maintain for our cars it has been a sad fact that we've never really taken this love to a level above owning and driving a car. Unlike with our girlfriends or boyfriends where love can lead to some wonderful things we seemed to reach a plateau with our cars. Sure we wash and polish them, get them tuned up, perhaps even have a new paint job but we still can't reach that next level, making love to our car.

Well, in this article I will discuss the ways you can actually make love to your car. Mind you I am not writing on how to make love in your car, but how to make love to your car. Yes we can finally experience true, physical love with our cars.

Now, anyone familiar with a lot of porn has probably seen women using the gearshift knob as a dildo, and yes ladies, you are ahead of us men here. Some women have already made love with their vehicles simply sliding the wonderfully phallic gear shift knob and shaft deep into your pussies. For those of you who haven't tried this I'd recommend a few precautions.

First of all ladies, make sure the gear shift knob is compatible with your anatomy, not too wide and certainly not too jagged. The best knob would be a roundish, well worn knob. Of course if you have your own dildo with a hole through the center you could always unscrew the uncomfortable knob and slide your dildo over the gear shift shaft.

For those of you with the gear shift on the steering column, you might want to slide a dildo or rubber ball over the shaft because those mounted there are pretty thin. Of course you'll need a bit more acrobatic approach to take on this gear shift. If your car has a handbrake it can be treated similarly.

One caution ladies, since you can't always be sure where that gearshift knob has been, you might want to use a condom. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't feel as good for the car that way, but that's got to be better that catching some std or something. Also, imagine what could happen without the condom, I mean can you picture giving birth to a Buick?

Besides the gear shift knobs, there are other areas of the car that might fit a lady's fancy. While in college I drove a sport's car which had raised lights in the front with the hood shaped with aerodynamic humps just behind the lights. These were about the size and shape of a man's thigh and hey, it seems a fun way to bump and grind yourself to a wonderful orgasm. Other vehicles may have similar humps and curves that may fit perfectly to a woman's anatomy.

Now guys, it is a little tougher for us, but hey we can't let the ladies have all the fun. One of the sexiest things I have found in a few of my vehicles is the rubber seal that goes over the hand brake. The soft, pliant rubber folds around the brake lever with a long slit down the middle that curves at the top just like a woman. As long as you keep that rubber soft and pliant you can happily finger your wonderful car until it simply purrs. Unfortunately, the brake lever has already popped that cherry and unless you remove the rubber seal here you probably aren't getting your cock between these soft folds.

Speaking of folds you might try some your seats where the back rest comes into the seat portion. I know you've slipped your fingers into those slits looking for change and things. Depending upon your car's design and your body's flexibility, you might be able to slip your cock into this opening. If not, what about the rear armrest? All you have to do is slide your cock into the slit between your seatback and the armrest. If it's too tight a fit, then pull down the armrest and slide your cock underneath it. That plush fabric on your seats will tickle your fancy. Of course you'll want a good fabric or upholstery cleaner to get up the cum stains.

For you more adventurous guys you can try the fuel intake. Now you'll need some soft fabric to line the metal sides of the opening, but wow, throw one leg up on the back of the car and you can take your lady for a ride. While the small amount of cum you'll spurt into her most likely won't cause any problems, I would only try this one time on a tank of gas. You don't want too much semen gumming up your lover's works.

Of course for those of you into doggie style, there is always the tailpipe. Caution, don't try this if your car is hot and bothered already. No, you need your car cold or you are going to have a lot of explaining to do at the emergency room. Anyway, the tailpipe will be dirty and rough so once again you'll want to line it with some type of soft fabric. Nice thing about coming into the tailpipe, you don't have to worry about your cum messing up the engine. No, you take your car from behind and you can cum and cum and cum.

Now there are other possibilities like sliding your cock between the weather-stripping on doors or trunks, but be careful here, one good hard thrust and you may close the door all the way. That's a pinch you'll never forget.

Anyway, if you practice safe sex and follow my advice you may find making love to your car an incredible experience. And hey, if you have any other ideas here, please leave a comment, I have a lovely Nissan just craving my attention. I'm sure she'll be ready for anything you might recommend.

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