All Comments on 'Hubby Said No'

Come on this is an abreviated derivative bit of plagiarism. It is not erotic and not really a story.

Doesn't syphilis take decades to advance to dementia? And can't it be treated if it caught early?

It was straight up almost expository writing style narrative. Little emotional color to the language, almost flat.

I had to check out this story to see if it was similar. Although you handled it differently, the premise of the story is very close, although I guess you can say that about half the stories written on here.

I didn't score it, I didn't think that would be fair.

and he did. TK U MLJ LV NV

Although the premise is familiar the outcome is the same. Fucking dead stupid worthless cunt, now burning in hell.

..and it seemed that you wanted to finish quickly. I would have enjoyed reading a story with more substance, although this one is quite nicely written anyway. I sort of missed a description of her reaction as she realized her husband had left. Jumped too far there, I believe.

3*

Good basic plot that fell apart at the end.

It really had no emotion and raised no interest.

I agree with some of the other comments made, it was too short and could have been made into a longer story. Would have liked to have seen a meeting between the two so he could at least vent his anger at her.

I don't know how some people comment this story...The simple a cheated person takes it, the more damages are done in the cheater...For me he was very patient, but he did what he had to do...She died, but even if she didn't her life was ruined for ever...

Flat, boring, but then came to expect that from this 1 page 'writer'. 1*

SEX. When are people going to realize that?

morning asshole annony!!

Not developed. Deserves a 3*, but I gave it a 4 to balance (a bit) of the anony idiot who through in the 1.

The comments MOSTLY seem to say: You should have fleshed the story out more BEYOND just the outline stage. More dialogue would have helped. And Yes, a better written confrontation, and more descriptive scenes with her reacting to his leaving her. Example: She talks to a girlfriend about how she never thought he'd leave her, and doesn't fully understand why he did. Another scene could be after she gets sick, and the full regret sinks in about how he was right all along. How she wishes he was there to care for her, but only if she hadn't cheated.....etc. etc.

One of the big things that was missing for me was in how he talked (or actually DIDN'T talk) to her BEFORE the night she went out to get fucked. He said NO. It was clear. She wasn't listening. Got all of that, but....

He never asked her WHY would she want to fantasize that way? Where did she get the porn? Why did she feel she wanted to open the relationship?

It was all well and good for him to explain how he felt, but he didn't give her any reasons why he felt that way either? They never even talked about all of the conseqences fully. Despite everything, he still failed her in his failure to fully communicate with her.

Even if she fully understood his posistion, he hadn't gotten her to change her mind.

Effective communication would NOT just be "don't do this, and don't say this". He needed to understand the why of it all for her, and worked on combating THAT if he really wanted to prevent the sad outcome of this story from happening.

I REALLY like and appreciate consequences stories. I like to see heartless cheaters punished. I wanted to like your story, and if it was more than just an outline, I probably would have. But this character needed to go through the rest of his life with some regrets. And it shouldn't just be an inability to trust women. When he looks in the mirror, he has to realize that if he were to ask the question

"Did I do EVERYTHING in my power to prevent the tragedy of my first marriage?"

The answer is NO.

Perhaps your story could have explained some of this and kept the same results, and it would STILL have been better, because it would have been more filled out and more of a complete and balanced story.

Anyway, thanks for your effort. Keep writing, and Good Luck!

but the author should know this is a site for sick fucks who have the i.Q. of onions,

wish you would have developed further...

The writing is excellent for what is there. Character development is weak. Kathy deserved what she got but the end was quick and unsatisfying. Two pages of babble from the woman and then in about 4 paragraphs... wrapped up.

Thank you for submitting it. Over the past few months it has become apparent that the tastes of readers and the "editorial" staff of Literotica has committed to cuckoldry as normal and desirable and the destruction of heterosexual males the ultimate goal. Lots of man hating women and queens writing and commenting. Real sick puppies.

This story could have been the exception to the very low standards in Loving Wives as of late. I had hopes but was disappointed.

As of late I have been asking about other erotica sites on the web that are less cuck and emasculation oriented but haven't figured out how to keep track of responses. I can be emailed through the site and welcome suggestions, just not mindless babble.

This wasn't a story as much as it was a paint-by-numbers outline of the standard, dead-horse-beaten, BTB plot. It was like reading a Mad Libs story where only the names of the characters changed.

Jealous and vengeful hubby? Check.

Inexplicably selfish wife? Check.

Divorce/STD's/death? Check.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Maybe reading this same, tired plot over and over again in hundreds of stories is therapeutic for some guys, but it bores me to tears. LW readers often complain about the repetitiveness of the "happy cuck" storyline, and I completely agree. It would be nice to see those same people complain about the monotonous BTB stories.

she should have listen to him. there was no doubt what he meant.

What? Was she wearing earplugs when he REPEATEDLY told her how he felt? This story started out okay, but the ending ruined it by being too short. And her quick demise just weakened the story further.

Long time untreated treponema pallidum (some years!) bacteria (Syphilis) causes dementia. This time was too short for tabes and dementia. She was in the second period in the shyphilis or the begining of the third. All phases are treated well with antibiotics to avoid tabes and dementia.

Good tale supporting why married folks should not hang out with single friends at clubs.... A no brainer for most of us.

But the epilogue was pathetic. Someone has psychological issues that need attention.

For starters the did not have a good marriage "They were deeply in love and enjoyed each other's company immensely. They were compatible intellectually and enjoyed lively discussions about both national and international issues." They were clearly mismatched sexually, and moer important, could not talk about sex. She laid out something that turned her on, instead of discussing it, and suggesting acceptable options, he just shut her down.

I'm not condoning cheating, but confronted with a wife who was turned on by something he hated, he suggested nothing in return. Lots of people enjoy seeing that which they themselves wouldn't want in reality. He didn't bring up tole playing, no new positions, exhibitionsim, sex toys, other porn movies.

In general, I think you migjht want to work to bring nuance and subtley into your work. Try to make the characters closer to average, forget 36DD tits, go with 36B. try to show more personality in the characters.

The cheating was sort of over written, following her in a borrowed car, the dancing in the bar in the early evening? Maybe 40 years ago, but nowhere I've been in the last 20 years, her picking up a guy in front of work mates is another oddity. Why broadcast that you're a slut to your co-workers. He follows he to the stranger's house peeking through the window., running away, and the retrubition, not at all beleavable, You hit so many cleche's it did seem like you were checking them off of a list. Too much of the same old same old.

Realistically, in the end, she knew her marriage was dead, and when he ran away, she should have shed a brief tear for the end of her dead marriage and the failure of earlier dreams, and moved on with her life. You want revenge? Obvioulsly she is a poor judge of character, make her next husband a dissolute shit bag wife beater!

There should be no exploring your spouse wanting to spice up a marriage by fucking others or cheating. She knew his stance but did it anyway but people in commited relationships cheat often so I guess she just didn't care

....too many gaping holes to make its mark.

About as erotic as a root canal. (Assuming you are NOT a masochist!)

2*

5 stars.

It served her right to get the syphilis.

It's "assets" not "asserts."

death from syphilis, dementia all in a year bullshit. this story makes no sense .

I know the BTB die-hards will flame me, but a death sentence for one-time when she (stupidly I admit) thought he wanted it, is a BIT extreme, don't you think?

Second, I know she was apparently too stupid to listen to what he SAID, instead of what she wanted to hear, but hopefully HE was a LITTLE more intelligent, heard what she said, and presumably knew what she was going to do.

Then he follows her, SEES her going into the house, and simply snaps a couple of pictures and walks away? Why not pound on the door, grab her and say, "I TOLD you I didn't want this!"

Then she either realizes her misunderstanding and leaves, or she says screw you, I want this, and THEN he can dump her ass!

Although it could have been a better btb story it was adequate. Anything is better than the swinging/willing cuckold stories that dominate this category. Gave it a 5 also, not to piss anybody off, just because we need to keep these writers around. Too many of the sissy wimpy swingers and cuckold already on this site.

Watched my best friend go thru almost exactly they same situation except his ex-wife

contracted HIV. It was found in bloodtest about 30 days after incident and formed full blown AIDS shortly after. She passed less than 2 years later leaving their 2 little girls and crushing My friend again.. He dates but has trust issues to this day.

Life imitates art?? or Art imitates Life?? it is a shame either way.

And "slutting out with co-workers", not happening, especially publicly, from my experience in a faily large workplace, this wife would have been treated like she had a bad case of Ebola, none of us want to be 'condemned by association". I find that these people realise sooner or later they are being shunned, when the divorce happens as it inevitably does, they disappear from the district.

Yes HIV would have been better and before the new medicines and with the old type viruses would have coused quick death during AIDS. Not clishe, but true 20 years before. The author had to chose this but I gives 5***** for not cuck story.

@KarenE

In the real world, STDs are real - often a death sentence and if not often with life long consequences. And nobody does it to the cheater but themselves. As to why not try to stop her? Why bother? She is a slut. The idea that a spouse can stop their partner from cheating is ridiculous. Once she decided to cheat she wasn't worth staying married to. Cucks live with it. Real men don't.

Well, ya saved me from spending time writing comments on this. This pretty much summed up what I was going to say, including "LW readers often complain about the repetitiveness of the "happy cuck" storyline, and I completely agree." Repetitive is repetitive, whether it's pro or con.

If you ignore your spouse and do whatever you want then you are not really in a two way loving relationship anyway. Once you cheat you deserve what ever happens; even if that is contracting a deadly disease. And frankly, that is easier on the non-cheating spouse. Death is so final.

For those of you that wanted it to be a BTB or "what if..." or "why didn't he..." story.... Write one yourself and submit to other critics.

It was flat,was done by rote,and there was little to make it believable or enjoyable.others have pointed out the problems with syphilis killing her,and hiv even in the pre cocktail days takes a lot of years to become full blown.@Sgt major if your friends wife developed aids that fast,it meant she had been infected years before....which if that was anywhere within the last 20 years or so,pregnant women are,routinely tested for hiv,so if she had young children she couldn't have had it Ling enough...this could have happened in the 80's before they tested women who were pregnant,and she had been infected long before.

While it is true that the basic plot of a btb is pretty straightforward, it is in the nuances that a story happens.For example,the guy who infected her could decide she infected him and killed her them committed suicide....I also wonder about him needing to be bisexual,if the guy was screwing women only bareback he could get infected,the largest vector of stds by far happen from straight sex with people who aren't bi,so what was the point of the guy being bi? The fact he picked anyone up for unprotected sex is the point.

Reads like a thinly veiled threat. Do hotwifes threaten you? I suppose the lifestyle is going to feel threatening for some guys, well don't worry, i don't think ALL women are brazen hussys that need to be kept in check with strong male leadership.

And here is why. Others have said it; this was a paint by numbers story. There was no imagination and this could have gone many ways if you had thought about it. At one page you rushed the story, as well.

You had potential and wasted it. For that, I could only give you a 2**. But,, by all means try again but this time think about what you are writing and check with an editor.

Sincerely,

C

but the notion makes me sad. Every bonobo female is a hotwife and every male is a cuck. If that's where you want to be on the evolutionary scale... go for it.

To each his/her own but don't claim "enlightenment" or "openness" for promiscuity and looking to satisfy baser instincts first. The woman (or man) who has multiple casual partners may have persuaded herself/himself that they are more free but they have lost the freedom to be faithful to her/his partner.

Too bad you didn't flesh it out more. You also should have done some research on syphilis.

While STDs exist and syphilis is a nasty one, she sure died from it awfully fast! It usually takes years for it to advance to the stage where it's no longer curable.

"By the time she was concerned enough to go and see a doctor she had advanced stage syphilis." Hitler had syphilis for over a decade. He was reportedly in the dementia stage during WW II. She would've been diagnosed when she went to the doctor for a physical LONG before she entered the final stages of the disease.

I'm not a huge fan of killing off the Wifey character, unless it's cleverly done and she's excessively evil. This Wifey wasn't excessively evil, and it wasn't cleverly done. She was just dense.

3 Stars. You have some talent, but you need to develop it some more. I recommend some online writing workshops.

paint by numbers

cliché

formula

badly researched

poorly written

I liked the story--FUCK THE DICK HEADS who did not like the story. Fucking asshole crack heads.

Most boring story ever

I loved the fool who said "Dancing is the same as sex, when will they understand that?".

Reminds me of the joke why don't Methodists fornicate standing up? Because god might think they were dancing.

Seriously anon, I danced with my mother at my wedding, that's incest? My wife danced with her father, hugged him and put her head on his chest. Incest?

I suspect anon had to get someone else to write that comment for him/her

. It was a well used but entertaining storyline until you put the epilogue at the end.

Flat and emotionless story which makes you feel that the author is lecturing you.

a brief sketch, in outline form.

She didn't pay attention in class, there was a test later, and she failed.

I was with you there until the ending. Too much like a 50s hygeine film. This can happen to you! Thanks for the scare tactics. They worked decades ago.

thanks for the offering.

This site is about erotic fantasy. To me that means stories that don't let the real world intrude. In the fantasy world of this site, everyone is always ready and available for sex, and all encounters ultimately end with amazing orgasms. Kids, jobs, paying bills, grocery shopping - none of that real world stuff gets in the way. There are no consequences - unwanted pregnancy, disease, broken marriages, damaged reputations - and of course there's no need for birth control. That's all part of the fun and fantasy (I believe that Nancy Friday, while analyzing sexual fantasies herself, acknowledged that the ultimate goal of erotic fantasy was sexual excitement).

I read the story with mild interest. It was not as erotic as others I've read, and the arguing between the couple over the idea of her having another man just seemed to be getting in the way of the action. I stuck with it as I wanted to see where it was going. I wondered if the woman would be proven right, that her husband really was turned on by the idea and that it would either end in a threesome or with them having amazing sex (typical plot paths for the "wife wants to try another man" storyline). I didn't find the ending to be at all erotic or exciting. Instead it was just sad and depressing. Maybe I'm old fashioned; I want my erotica to have a happy ending!

I spent several minutes reading many of the other comments and mulling over how I felt about the story, and why. I even picked another of your stories ("Immaculate Conception") and read it, just to see how something else you had written compared to this story. I noticed that both stories had negative consequences for the person (a woman, in both cases) who cheated. Are all of your stories morality tales that focus on cheating women, and the consequences they must deal with? If so, we obviously have different ideas of what constitutes erotica.

This is actually the first time I've commented on any story on this site, although I've been here many times and read many stories. I think the volume of comments and the extreme reactions led me to want to throw in my own two cents.

Why not have Satan himself jump up and brand her with an everlasting firey "A" on her chest? That's just as realistic as her not treating syphilis and dying with dementia in a year.

How can they be well matched but can't talk about sex? If one party says their sex life needs spicing up, it does. If the other party doesn't think so it just means he's satisfied and she's not. The "satisfied" partner needs to do something to keep the other in the fold if he loves her instead of just an image of her. It can be done or it's at least worth trying. Just shutting her down without coming up with alternatives is a recipe for disaster. The unsatisfied partner will cheat or leave. The unsatisfied partner, after trying to improve things in the marriage, should ask for joint counseling. If that fails or is refused, of course she should seek a divorce instead of cheating.

I agree that storyline is much better to show the betrayed husbands find better woman instead of the cheating ex wives, but the authors must build more energy to write the stories into that direction. With a quick twist to close a story is easy.

i get the feeling the writer of this has been cheated on in the past, to have her die is kinda fucked up man, if you dont like cheating that is fair enough but it is supposed to be an erotic story. what the fuck?

Will not criticize you for venting because, at least, you wrote a story to do it. Good on you. You were in such a hurry to get to revenge you ignored medical facts about the progress of that disease. Sounded more like aids in its timing of symptoms but like syphilis in the actual body symptoms. Overall a weak effort for readers but hoped it helped your emotional state

Someone said this might reflect something personal, but this wasn't your first tale. I think Iron Dragon said it was more outline than story. I think he's right. We all get an idea, get excited, and pour it out without thinking. D.Q. Steele's "When We Were Married" was the closest to what I thought was a personal experience, especially the beginning. If you haven't, you should read that. In fact you should read all of DQS's stuff before you write another word. Just my opinion mind you.

she got what she deserved, too bad it didn't last longer. now half of the rest of his life he wont trust a woman, while although it's a good rule of thumb, if everyone did we wouldn't have the population we do now.

Why all the negative comment about this story? Yes it would be nice to get the storyline more fleshed out with details, but at the end of the day she got what she deserved. Personally I liked it and would not have blamed the author if they went even heavier on the revenge. Still you can't please all the people all the time.

....because, again, you didn't get your facts straight. The rushed conclusion with bad, nay, false medical information was a story-killer for me, but more damning, was that you wrote a character that was so obsessed with an idea that no amount of clarity would break through her clouds of delusion.

It is also very likely that she'd been fucking around for some time, possibly a very long time and was unconsciously trying to "get him on board".

His response was not very realistic. Too much in keeping with the "gentler" tradition in these halls and not the world we walk through every day.

YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE YOU WRITE A STORY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO DELVE INTO ANYTHING YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ABOUT.

I've read Assumptions and now Hubby Said No. A bit simplistic. I'll give one more a try.

I think this author is a pathetic moralistic nasty little wanker

nuff said

...being a one-woman-man does not fit, right?

Anyway (as usual) a story with hardly any content or plot and (also as usual) way too short with only just a page.2 stars

till the bitter end for not understanding the meaning of NO. TK U MLJ LV NV

It's not paying attention to the details that hurts a story.

stories and cries and bitches like the fag he is. You really have to ask yourself why this retard reads these and then complains about them or the writer. I gave it a 5 for content and the idea of the husband typing to get the wife to stop her idea of cheating! The end justifies the action. And dear annony eat shit and die. God you are a asshol

Who dies from syphliss? Poorly written story.

NOBODY could be as stupid as she seemed to be. As she herself said, she didn't hear what she didn't want to hear.

While I DO agree with those who say you can't stop someone from cheating, in THIS case, where she somehow managed to convince herself that hubby was turned on by it, if he had crashed in on them, told her, "Look, I'm here, he's here, and I'm TELLING you I DO NOT WANT THIS!" even someone as apparently clueless as she seems to be would have to accept it and come home.

... only by beating the last little piece of brain out of her dumb head.

Undiagnosed and untreated syphilis does lead to dementia and death. If she was too stupid to listen to her husband, she definitely was too stupid to realize she had an STD and get treatment.

Good story, unfortunately this is a story that some real cheating wives should read. believe it or not too many women get an STD just the way she did and a lot of them tend to try blaming it on their husbands or boyfriends. Well in your story all I can say is the bitch got what she deserved.

I like a dead cheater but it all seemed pretty flat to me.

Almost everyone I went to school with, including myself have had at least one failed marriage. But the real shocker is how many of the girls who stepped outside their marriage for sex contracted STD's and gave them to either her husband or another lover. More stories should have the spread of STD's as an element of their stories. And I personally know at least five women who had teddy bears for husbands. They wouldn't harm a fly. But when they found out their wives had had affairs, they beat some sense into their wives...and the men were almost beaten to death by a jilted husband and a group of his friends. Not enough stories of this nature either.

but I wonder did she learn anything. TK U MLJ LV NV

Story started well but tailed off to the ending 3*

Retarded ending to this story. I give it 2 thumbs down !

5 to help the score.

fag cuck shit.

because dear annony is a old ugly fag ass fag with ED who hate everything

5*

He is her 3rd husband. She has cheated the entire marriage. Details exposing her found on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com. TRUE STORY REAL LIFE.

Details on Facebook took place she was in 50s and a grandmother. She never used condoms. She requested and engaged in anal sex. She stuck tongue in lover's butthole and licked for 15 minutes. She begged for golden hower on clit. She loved to give blowjobs and eagerly swallowed. She never checked for diseases.

Husband knows and is lucky

LUCKY HE WAS NOT INFECTED.

SHE REPEATEDLY LEFT CUM FILLED PANTIES FOR HUSBAND TO FIND AND PRESS FACE INTO. WORD IS HE LICKED THE CREAM FILLED CENTER

THEN I HEARD HE BECAME ILL

MAYBE HIS LUCK RAN OUT

This should be the outcome of all cheaters.

Yuk, I guess...

At least it was a short piece of crap.

Did not waste more than about 2 minutes of my life.

Most cheaters are discovered when a spouse passes on an STD to their faithful spouse...or they become pregnant and hubby has had been 'snipped' or has no sperm count...or children accidentally see and tell...or a neighbor tells...or they are seen by an acquaintance of their spouse. Need more stories like this.

I am so sick and tired of all these stories where the woman has either D or DD boobs. How about just having a woman with cow udder transplants instead?

One sentence took this good story down a notch for me.

"Kathy was heartbroken. She never realised how Mike really felt."

I think this guy was pretty obvious about how he felt AND how he would react to her cheating. Thanks for the story.

She ended up getting them both out of the gene pool.

I cannot begin to tell you how many affairs have been uncovered when a spouse passed on an STD to their victim spouse. Or because they got pregnant while hubby was away or had been cut off from sex by the wife.

The only thing real about this is that the husband doesn't want the wife to cheat. Why does she want to go out and get strange? What delusional idiot hears her husband guarantee divorce if she cheats, and doesn't believe? The only logical explanation would be that she wants out of the marriage, but that is never explored. The BTB ending is just silly and stupid.

I wouldn't call this a BTB tale. I'd call it a consequences tale. She fucked up, she paid the price. Realistic or not, this is fiction. Many of us enjoy when a cheating wife goes down. Fiction allows for all kinds of consequences for her actions, extreme or not. You want reality, watch the news.

Of course it's fiction. However, good fiction has a sense of reality to it. If the author had not written this woman as having an MBA, it might just be believable that she could be so stupid. But the author writes her as smart and with a graduate degree, except that she's also dumb and obtuse as a post. No match.

Let the cheating cunt die. good ridence to a whore.

Lets hope she died in pain, and choking on her own blood in agony.

Fuck her!

Simply an outstanding story. All I would have to do is change a few names and it would tell the true story of what happened a few years back in my community.

Meh.

Ending was dumb. Male fanatasy not reality. Could have been a good story if the author had put some thought into it

I know we don't get paid for our writing but if you're going to write at least put some effort into it. Syphillis is a long slow process and now days people don't die from it. You should have stopped at the end of the story and left the epilogue off.