Humiliated via Text Message Pt. 02

Author's note:

I appreciate all the reviews and support from everyone who read part 1. I have to give you a spoiler about the 2nd half below. It probably doesn't end the way many people will hope, but I didn't want to embellish any of it. It took a lot of courage to post this story, so I hope you won't be upset if the ending isn't satisfying for some people. The story ends where it ends and there isn't a part 3. I hope you like what I did write though.

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I knew it was a mistake. I knew I wasn't in my right mind. I knew I should let it go, but I couldn't. I had to know who this guy was. There were no clues in the videos no matter how many times I watched. I spent the next 3 days in a flustered, anxious state trying to narrow it down and figure it out. Every time I replayed the scene from the bathroom in my mind, I would feel so guilty about masturbating and so embarrassed at how I was controlled. He had a picture and a video of me in a compromised state- robe open, breasts exposed, saying vulgar things. Curiosity about his identity was making me feel unstable, like my engine was revving but I wasn't getting anywhere.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, in the middle of the week as soon as the kids were out of the house, I took a bath and tried masturbating again. I needed something to kick me out of my haze. I tried thinking about what I normally imagine- on vacation in an exotic seaside town, having good food, good wine, and candlelight and having sex on the balcony while listening to the waves.

Normally, I would feel sort of warm and sleepy and get aroused and give myself an orgasm fairly quickly. This time, I couldn't get there. The water in the bath was getting cold and I could hear the pings from work on my laptop in the hall. The whole experience basically backfired on me because I was even more distracted the rest of the day.

figuring out who he was had consumed my thoughts completely. There were only 2 guys I could think of that might be the guy but neither one seemed likely and my evidence was pretty weak.

I remembered when my car got vandalized, a FedEx van was passing by me in the parking lot. I was upset and in tears and the guy driving it asked if I was alright. I can't even remember if I saw his face. I didn't give it much thought and went to speak with the manager. That stuck out to me as I was being a detective because I did have a minor odd conversation with a FedEx guy maybe a week earlier. It was the first warm day of the spring and we were in the backyard running through the sprinkler. I wanted to get the water guns we had in the garage, so I walked around to the front to get them.

As I was opening the garage door, we were getting a delivery. He asked if I wanted the package or if he should leave it on the steps. I felt self-conscious because I was just wearing my bathing suit and flip flops, and he was not super subtle about checking me out, so I asked him to just leave it on the stairs. He kind of smirked and gave a long stare at my chest then made some comment. Something like, "Are you sure you don't want me to give it to you?" I may be naive but I could tell he was trying to flirt. He didn't wink at me, but he might as well have. If that guy was the same guy in the parking lot, he could know all about us from their system. It could be him. But that's all I really had. It seemed flimsy and I didn't see how I could rule him out or not.

The other guy I suspected was the son of our neighbors across the street. They are an older couple, but their son lives with them. He is either 24 or 25, I'm not sure. The reasons I wonder about him is that the first picture of me walking to my car seemed like it would have been taken by their house. It could have been someone driving past who took the picture, but it definitely came from right there.

Jim and I didn't really ever talk to the older couple or the son, but he did coach our kids a couple of seasons in soccer a few years ago. He was a typical young, high energy coach, but he did kind of flirt with me once too. He was showing my son something about playing defense and he kind of pulled me into the drill to act like one of the players. He touched my lower back when he positioned me on the field and made some remark about whether or not I could play defense against him. He was surprisingly physical with me, brushing against my body aggressively and kind of whispered that he loved playing against me. It seemed inappropriate to me but I decided to just ignore it and leave it be. Maybe that worked with other moms, but not with me. I have no other reasons to suspect him, but I do see those events differently now.

It could also be some totally random stranger, but whoever it was was in my area for sure.

The next day, I couldn't even focus on work and just laid on the couch working it through over and over in my mind. My anxiety was spiking and I felt a strong pulse in my stomach. I kept trying to breathe slowly to lower my blood pressure but I was getting out of control. I finally just broke down and grabbed my phone and opened up the text chain from him. I wrote to him to say that I really need to know who this is. I told him what I did was a mistake and to please do me the favor and let me know who you are. I said I would keep it between us but I had to know just for my own sanity.

He didn't respond right away and I essentially laid there staring and waiting for maybe 30 minutes. I lost track of time and I sat there breathing, feeling my adrenaline flowing.

Finally I saw the 3 dots. He was responding.

He sent back a video of him lowering his shorts and masturbating.

"I'll think about it and let you know. But for right now, I want you to watch that and tell me that you like what you see."

I felt a crushing frustration that it was so difficult with him. The more I resisted, the more crushed I felt. I clicked on the video and watched it.

Part of me tried to remember what kind of shorts he had because maybe that was a clue. The other part of me felt turbulent. I felt like it put me in a very sexual place out of nowhere. I am not a very sexual person normally by any stretch. Jim and I have sex somewhat regularly, but there are big gaps between sometimes because he travels so much and we are always with my family, eating at my sisters' homes, fixing up the house. There isn't always time or energy. I rarely feel in the mood for more than just intimacy without sex, but I can get into a sexual mood at times.

What I started feeling on the couch was one of those times and it was powerful. I watched the video again and realized I was getting very aroused. I rationalized it as being pent-up from starting to but failing in the bath. I put my hand inside my shorts and started massaging myself. I closed my eyes and started feeling really good. I heard my phone ding and I remembered that I hadn't written back to him. I got instantly nervous. I can't explain it really, but I felt like I did something wrong. Like when I was a student and the teacher scolded me.

I read his message again and my heart fluttered. I thought for a minute about what to write back to keep him engaged but I didn't want to be completely honest.

"I'll admit, it is very impressive" is what I hurriedly replied.

"I watched that video of you a few times. I love seeing those big jugs."

"What are you going to do with that video? Please, just tell me who you are. I need some answers. Please."

"The video is for me, Karen. I don't really give a shit if anyone knows what you did, but I am not planning on showing anyone else right now. What I want you to do if take off your shirt, lay down and record yourself saying "thank you for letting me see your big cock"

Two waves washed over me at that moment. I felt sick that I was doing this in my own home in the middle of the day. I was also feeling intense sexual feelings. I could tell I was blushing deeply and my skin felt very sensitive. Because I was already laying down, I just took my shirt off and laid back on the couch. There was a voice in my head screaming for me not to do it. I knew it was a bad idea, I could feel it in my bones but I ended up just watching myself do it all. I recorded myself with one hand and I continued masturbating with my other hand. I made sure he would be able to see my bare breasts on the video. I tried to look right into the camera to say the line, but I didn't have the power to do it. I kind of looked down and felt ashamed but I said:

"Thank you for letting me see your big cock. I feel excited right now." and then stopped recording.

I kept masturbating and waiting for him to reply, but there was no response. Maybe he was upset with me. Maybe he was just busy doing something and couldn't reply. It kind of dawned on me that this seemed way more serious to me than it did to him. To him it was like a game even though I was having a meltdown the whole week.

I was still touching myself and getting impatient. I felt a dingle in my stomach and then these long waves rolling up my back. Like deep bass on a piano or something. My muscles contracted and trembled and I orgasmed very hard.

As I laid there after, I started literally talking to myself and asking if I was out of my mind. I put myself together and took a shower hoping to get some focus to do my job.

I kept checking my phone every 5 minutes for the rest of the day but there was nothing from him. The next day I was debating the idea of writing to him again to keep the pressure up. I was able to resist doing that for about 2 hours and then I caved again. I knew what he wanted so I tried including more of what he might want as I asked him my question.

"Look, I wanted to thank you for the attention. I'm sorry I was rude last week and I am grateful that you sent me those videos. Your cock is really impressive and it makes me excited to see it. I promise I will keep your identity a secret, but I need to know who you are. I am desperate. I can pay you money if that helps too."

After 22 excruciating minutes a reply came through.

"We can make a deal. We can meet in person. If you agree to give me a blow job, I will let you know who I am."

Sending obscene videos from the safety of my home was one thing, but actually meeting him in person was a whole different level. I hadn't even thought he would ask to meet. If he met with me in person, I would at least see his face. If it was the neighbors' son or the FedEx guy I would know for sure. Maybe there was a way to agree but not have to go through with it. Maybe I could convince him it was wrong or be annoying and make him want to leave once I saw his face.

I had to take a deep breath and consider what I was about to write, but I said:

"Ok. We can do that. Just one time and then no more contact of any kind. Is that okay?"

I immediately wished I had included something obscene to help him agree but he wrote back right away:

"That's fine, Karen. It better be a great blow job too. I bet you have a soft, wet mouth. I can't do it today. This weekend works better."

Jim was going to be flying to Orlando on Friday morning, so I knew this weekend might be the best timing. I could wait one more day because there was a light at the end of the tunnel now. Before even replying, I called my sister. She knew I was having bad anxiety all week but I told her it was because work was crazy. I hated lying to her but I needed her to do me a favor. I said I needed to get over the hump at work this weekend and it would help me a lot if she could have a sleepover with the kids. We did this probably 3-4 times a year anyway so it wasn't a red flag request for her. She agreed but asked if I wanted her to stay with me while Jim was gone. She could tell I was not right and she was worried. I was able to convince her that I just needed to buckle down with no distractions and thanked her.

I texted him back and said I wanted to do it on Saturday. I made sure I included the words "suck your big cock" in the message and for the first time it was actually easy to type.

Friday was a long day, but once Jim went to the airport and my sister picked up the kids, I actually did buckle down at work. I kept myself distracted from him all day and went to bed early.

A ding woke me up at 1am.

"I need to make sure you are for real. You need to do something else before I let you suck my dick."

I groaned, thinking this was all set already.

"What do I have to do?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow before you leave."

I had no energy left to mull it over and I fell into a deep sleep almost immediately after. I forgot he wrote that until seeing it the next morning again.

Saturday was a long day and I must have cleaned the entire house just to keep my mind busy. I had no appetite all day and barely ate anything. I felt like I was in a daze. I was shuffling around the house waiting.

Finally in the evening he texted me. He told me I was going to stop at this gas station near my house first. I was going to wear a tshirt and no bra. I was going to bring one of Jim's neckties. I was going to go inside the minimart and lift my shirt over my breasts, exposing them to anyone in the store and walk up and down the aisles. Then I was going to pay for gas, and pump my gas, with my bare breasts out. Then he would tell me where to meet him for the blow job.

It seemed like a fuzzy dream to me. I wasn't making choices really. It was like I was watching myself do things. My brain broke and so did my spirit at the same time. I felt like I was psychologically backed into a corner and the only way out was to just do whatever he told me and not resist, or complain, or negotiate.

I saw myself typing back that I would. I saw myself walking up stairs to our bedroom to change. It was a little chilly for May but I put on jeans because I wanted to cover more of my body. I took off my shirt and bra and found a tshirt I could wear. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt obscene. I would never in a million years go out in public in a tshirt without a bra. I felt exposed with the shirt on and I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be bare breasted in public.

I saw myself get my keys and start the car. I drove to the gas station. I knew he could see me in my car. I don't think anyone followed me, but he could be parked nearby. I looked for a FedEx truck but didn't see one. There was a family getting gas and an older guy at the counter inside. I waited for them to leave. The older guy was buying scratch-off tickets and talking a lot. I was getting impatient waiting for him and I could feel that I was grinding my teeth.

When he finally left, some guy walked in and I had to get back in the car to wait him out too. When he got in his car, I figured now was my best chance so drove to a gas pump and then got out of the car and hurried into the minimart.

The neon lights were very bright and the air conditioning was on full blast. I was starting to get goose bumps on my arms as I walked to the back of the store. I almost chickened out and didn't think I could do it, but I saw a car with its blinker on at the red light across the street and knew they were coming in soon. I felt the impulse to just do it right then and I watched myself grab the bottom of my shirt and lift it up over my breasts. I laid it on my neck and put my hands at my side.

My legs were like jelly and I almost fell into the bread on the shelf. My eyes lost focus and I was feeling overwhelmed. I managed to slowly move to the front and at some point one of the Indian guys at the counter noticed me. I could feel him staring as I walked past him and down the next aisle. I saw myself in the curved mirror in the back of the store and realized how vulgar the scene was. Every step I took, my breasts swayed and wobbled and no matter how slow I tried to go it didn't matter. They looked even bigger in that mirror and I felt a powerful wave of humiliation.

I wanted to hurry and go pay for the gas before anyone came in so I walked more quickly up the next aisle. At this point my vision got a little clearer and I was able to see that both counter guys were staring at me.

I walked right up to them and gave them a $20 for the gas. They were both kind of giggling and one of them said "can I touch?"

I ignored him and repeated that I wanted gas. He said "gas is free if you let me touch" and he moved his arm forward. I backed away and turned to walk out the door, leaving my $20 on the counter. I quickly walked to my car and opened the gas tank to start pumping. As I was leaning over the pump, I could feel my breasts swinging into each other. I was super self-conscious and I was also cold. I was shaking a bit, maybe from the chill, maybe from my adrenaline. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if I could spot him or if anyone driving by could see me.

The guy finally activated the pump and I was counting down the seconds until it finished.It was taking forever. It dawned on me that I didn't need to pump all of the gas. I did what he said and I could just stop and get back in my car. 7 or 8 dollars was plenty for me keeping up my end of the deal. The counter guy came out and said I still had paid for more. I tried to wave him off and say I was in a rush but he kept walking towards me watching my exposed breasts wobble around as I waved him off.

I pulled my shirt back over them and got into the car and locked the door. He tried to talk to me through the window, but I just waved and drove away. I pulled into a Panera down the block and parked. I texted him:

"Are you happy? I did what you told me. I know you saw."

He texted me back pictures of me paying with my breasts exposed, jogging to my car, pumping gas. I knew he had to be right across the street because of the angle of the pictures. I looked over my shoulder to see if I could see a car with a guy in it, but all I saw was a bus stop. No pedestrians right there. I looked at anyone walking but I was half a block away and it was dark so it did no good.

"You are going to meet me behind the sanitation building, by the dumpsters in the corner. You're going to give me a blow job, but you're not going to see me until it's over."

I didn't know what to write back, but I managed to type out:

"How will I do that?" then realized I forgot to make it obscene so I quickly added, "How can I suck on that big, thick cock without seeing you?"

"When you get there, tie the necktie around your eyes as a blindfold."

My plan to try to see him then not go through with it was going to be more difficult now. I thought about maybe waiting until I heard his footsteps and then taking the blindfold off. I ran the scenario in my mind and I wondered if he would get angry. Maybe violent. Maybe I should text one of my sisters that my car stalled at that parking lot and I needed a ride. That might put them in danger though.

"Go there now and wait" his text interrupted my anxious ruminations.

I tried to think of what to do, but I knew he might be able to see me right now so I did what he said. I drove down the road and turned where he told me, then saw the sanitation building. I felt afraid because it was all becoming so real and it was dark and intimidating. I almost drove past it and went home, but I couldn't do it. I was so close, there had to be a way to get out of this still.

I pulled into the parking lot and received a text right away, before I even put the car in park.

"Take off your shirt and put it in the trunk. Then get back in the passenger seat."

I looked around to see if I could spot the light of a phone in the corner. There was a wooded area right next to my car and I stared into it hoping for any sign, but it was dark. I popped the trunk and then lifted my shirt over my head and got out of the car, keeping the door open and the car running if I needed to get out of there. I jogged to the back of the car, topless and threw it in then closed the trunk. I ran back around to the passenger side and got in.