I Dearly Want To Help My Brother

Oh God, why was I getting so lost in these thoughts?

It felt like my brother's obsessive emotions were influencing me. Somehow I was affected by what he was feeling.

Right then I got my own laptop off my desk, and set it on my own bed. I looked at the piece of paper with the web page address and I typed it into the little dares box on my web server. Within seconds, I was watching the video start up again.

I couldn't believe I was doing this again, I knew I should stop, but I couldn't help myself.

It was even more emotional for me because I knew my brother had been compulsively watching this same video over and over, literally hundreds of times.

I watched the video right from the beginning with a desperate sort of concentration.

Again, I was utterly entranced by the mysterious mood of this video; it seemed to have an exhilarating power over me. I was losing myself in a way that seemed beyond my control.

The girl looked so pretty and vulnerable, and the boy was so mysterious because you never saw his face.

I watched all the same footage again, and it was so captivating, but my heart started beating faster as the boy's hand came into frame and sort of anxiously pulled on the fabric of the girl's shirt.

The boy nervously asked, "Can I lift this up a little bit?"

The girl softly replied, "well - uhhhm - okay."

As the boy took off the girl's t-shirt, he moved so slowly and so cautiously. As soon as I could see her bare breasts, I did something that I couldn't really control, I hit pause and stared at the frozen image. Then I took off my shirt too, and I took off my bra, and right then I felt kind of silly because my boobs are so small that I don't really need to wear it anyway.

I was lying on my back, with my shirt off and now I could really compare myself to the girl in the video. I spent a long time comparing myself to the girl in the movie. I could look down at myself, and then to the image on the computer screen. My breasts are just a little bit smaller, and - like I said before - our nipples are different.

And right then, looking down at my own chest. I was shocked at just how pointy my own nipples looked. I had always felt sort of embarrassed about my breasts, but right now, they seemed really pretty.

Then I hit play and the video showed the pretty girl in that beautiful pose with her head on the pillow and her arms over her head still snug in the tight white t-shirt, so her bare chest seemed flat and smooth.

I mimicked that pose myself by putting my arms above my head, and it seemed like my breasts were impossibly smooth and flat, but it made my nipples seem even more pointy and hard.

And then came the point in the video where the boy took his pants off, and I could see his erection. Right then, my heart began pounding. I had never ever seen a video like this, and I've never seen a boy with his pants off, even in a movie or photo.

Part of me just wanted to turn it off, but - Oh God - I was so mesmerized by what I was seeing, I just couldn't stop, I needed to keep watching.

This was right where I shut it off before in my brother's room, and now I was SO scared at what I might see. Part of me wanted to stop the video, but I kept on watching.

I was amazed at the close-up of his hard penis and how big it seemed. It was scary and beautiful all at the same time.

The next thing I saw was a sort of close-up of the boys hands on the girl's pants, she was wearing a pair of yellow nylon running shorts, and I thought how I had a pair just like those.

The camera moved in close, and there was a moist wet stain in her shorts, right between her legs. It looked like she had peed, but she was obviously so excited that she soaked thru the yellow fabric.

The boy gently traced the wet stain with his fingertip, and the girl responded by shivering.

You could hear the boy whispering, "This is so beautiful..."

Then he started to pull the pretty girl's shorts off, and I pulled my blue jeans off too, I did it in a way that seemed almost like I was hypnotized. I kicked them off and they fell to the floor. Right then, all I was wearing was my panties.

The girl in the video didn't have on any panties on, and I was shocked to see super tight close-up of her vagina. And I reached over and paused the video.

I was instantly focused on the fact that she had shaved herself; she didn't have any pubic hair. I was lying there on my bed with my head on the pillow staring at my computer as I pulled off my panties. Right then, I was totally naked, just like the cute girl in the video.

The frozen image on my computer showed a close-up of her vagina, and it looked perfectly silky and smooth. And all I could think of was that she was different than me, and I was doing it again, I was obsessively comparing myself to her.

I sat up and looked down at myself, between my own legs. I hardly have any pubic hair, and seeing it felt so confusing. It was light brown, and it seemed pretty, but right then - comparing myself to the girl in the video - it was made me feel so anxious.

The pretty girl on my computer screen had sort of narrow hips I do, and maybe longer legs. My hips are just a little bit wider than hers. And her tummy was a little more firm, and my own tummy looks like I still have my baby fat.

I looked back and forth at my own crotch and the close-up freeze-frame of girl on the screen, I was focused on her smooth shaved vagina, and myself, between my own legs. Right then, all I could think about was shaving myself.

I felt all weirdly obsessed about how smooth the girl looked, and my mind started spinning.

I thought about these confusing issues for what might have only been a few seconds, and then I closed my computer, got off my bed and - even though I was completely naked - I walked down the hall to the bathroom. I closed the door, got a new razor out from under the sink and stepped into the shower. After the water got really hot, I used some of my brothers shaving creme and carefully shaved away my pale brown pubic hair. It was funny, I took my time with the razor moving slowly and deliberately. I felt a deep need to make myself as silky smooth as possible.

After the shower I stood in front of the steamy mirror and looked at my own image.

It looked so funny to see myself without any pubic hair, I mean - it felt like I was 12 years old again. My tiny little breasts added to the feeling of being younger than I really am. My hair was still mostly dry, and I searched the drawer under the sink for two little hair ties.

I stood naked in front of the mirror and brushed my hair, and then I put it into short little pigtails. When I looked in the mirror it seemed a little bit silly, they jutted out on each side like it did when I was in Jr. high school. My hair is almost too short to wear it with pig-tails, but I kept the little hair ties in place. Part of me really wanted John to see me like this, I really wish my hair was a little bit longer, to match the girl in the video, but this was the best I could do.

Leaving the bathroom felt so sneaky. I knew I was alone in the house, but I still felt nervous about being naked in the hallway, even for just the few seconds as I ran back to my room.

I closed my bedroom door behind me, and locked it.

Then I climbed back up onto my bed, lay my head back down on the pillow, opened my computer and immediately pushed play on the video.

It was that same close up of the girl's shaved vagina, and seeing it again felt so strange, but I was so relieved that mine looked just like hers, all smooth and clean. It made me feel satisfied.

Again, I was immediately swept up in the poignant images of the video.

I watched my computer screen, and the next thing that happened was the boy took a bottle of baby oil and started pouring it all over the girl's naked body. I recognized the bottle, it was the exact same bottle I had seen in my brother's room on his night stand next to his bed.

I had used that same brand of baby oil one time last summer, I was with John at the lake. He had the same kind. It was this sweet smelling apricot oil, I remembered that I really liked the way it smelled.

It was so funny, knowing that John had that same bottle on his night-stand in his room. As I watched the video, I could almost smell the clean fruity fragrance.

The next thing in the video was almost too much for me to watch. The boy climbed onto the girl's torso, and he started to rub the girls oily nipples with the tip of his erection. Oh my God, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

There was an intense close-up, showing the very tip of his penis rubbing against the girl's hard oily nipple. It just went on and on and on. I wanted to turn my eyes away, but I couldn't, I was totally riveted by what I was seeing.

I was shocked at how much emphasis there was on the way the boy was rubbing his oily head of his erection against her hard nipples. It felt like the camera must have been less than an inch away from what was happening.

The imagery was scandalizing, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel that there was something about it that seemed really beautiful, I mean, I was absolutely swept away by what I was seeing, it was just so loving. The girl on the bed was staying almost completely still, and this added to the haunted emotion of what I was feeling.

I put my hand down between my legs and I began rubbing my self, I just couldn't help it. The smoothness of my freshly shaved vagina felt absolutely magical.

I masturbate pretty often, but it's always at night in the dark when I'm under the covers. But now with the light on and watching this video at the same time made everything seem a lot more arousing for me. And now that I shaved, it felt so smooth that everything felt a thousand times more thrilling.

The close-up of the girl's erect nipple was sort of mimicking my own firm clitoris. The tip of his erection was rubbing back and forth, over and over. I started rubbing myself - my plump clitoris - with the exact same rhythm of the image of the video, back and forth, over and over. I truly couldn't help myself, I was literally hypnotized by what I was seeing on the screen of my computer.

I watched for along time, the imagery was so beautiful, and the loving sensations were building inside me. I was getting so close to cumming, and at the same time I was so aware that my beautiful brother had been watching this same video over and over. Somehow, knowing John had watched this made it all the more exciting.

I thought about the baby oil on his night stand, and I realized he must have use it to masturbate, while watching this pretty girl getting her nipples rubbed by a boy's oily penis. Part of me wanted to run over to his room and grab the bottle and use it, to make my own clitoris even more slippery than it already was. I wanted to but I didn't, I was getting too close to cumming.

Then, the little girl finally pulled her arms out of the t-shirt above her had, and she took hold and wrapped both her hands around the boys erection, and pressed it hard against her own breast. Everything was oily and delicious looking. She was looking up at the boy and at the same time she was sort of pumping her hands along his penis.

Then, I could hear the boy whimpering, and the girl was pumping her hands faster, and the camera moved in really close, and I watched as the boy started cumming. I was utterly entranced by the stream of thick white liquid pumping out of his erection and soaking the girl's hard nipples and small breasts.

Oh my God, watching the video was making me insane with desire and I was suddenly rubbing my wet vagina with a sort of frenzy, I was on the edge of my own orgasm. I was getting SO close, I was imagining cum squirting all over my chest, just like in the movie. I could feel the powerful sensations welling up inside me, I was just about to explode.

And then I heard the door downstairs.

I heard my brother's voice shouting, "Hey Sis, you home?"

Oh shit - Suddenly my heart was pounding from fear. I closed my computer and jumped out of bed.

I stood there naked in the middle of my room, I was looking at my naked body in the mirror on the back of my bedroom door. I could see my body heaving from my own deep breaths.

Then I heard John in the hall, right outside my door, "Hey Sis, are you in there?"

I nervously replied, "Uhh - yeah - I'm - I'm here."

My brother said, "Good, I'm home a little earlier than I thought."

I stammered, "I'll - uhhhm, I'll be out in a - little bit."

John spoke through my door, "If it's okay, I was hoping maybe we could talk, if this is a good time?"

He sounded sad and worried.

I spoke in a shaky voice, "Uhhm, yes. That - would be nice."

He said, "Thanks, I'll be in my room."

I nervously turned and stood naked in front of my set of drawers. My heart was pounding, partially because John surprised me but mostly because I was just on the verge of what felt like the most powerful orgasm ever.

Before I knew what I was doing I was searching thru my drawer, and I found a white tank-top that I hardly ever wear because it's just a little bit too small. I didn't know why, but I put it on, and I didn't put on a bra. That just felt silly, my breasts are so small I don't need one anyway.

Then I dug through another drawer and found a bright yellow pair of nylon running shorts. I pulled them on without putting panties on first, I was feeling all emotionally frantic, and I was in a hurry to talk with John.

As I walked out of my room in the hall, I realized just how much I had been affected by that video. I was SO close to cumming when I heard my brother's voice. It kind of freaked me out, and I didn't realize what I had done. I had just fixed my hair and dressed myself exactly like the girl in the video.

I paused for a moment just outside his door, and my mid was awash in the image of that boy squirting cum all over the cute girl's nipples. I took a deep breath and tapped on his door.

I sounded so skittish as I said, "John? It's me."

He answered, "C'mon in Sis."

When I walked into my brother's room, he was sitting on his bed and when he looked at me, he immediately smiled and exclaimed, "Oh my God, Sis, your hair looks so cute!"

I nervously replied, "Really? I feel like I'm still in elementary school."

"Don't worry, you look adorable. I love it!"

It felt so wonderful that my brother would act so excited about my hair. But at the same time, I was totally aware that the cute girl in that video he's been watching had her hair in pig-tails almost exactly like mine.

I was standing next to his bed, and I could see myself in the mirror in front of me, the mirror he had above his dresser.

I was shocked to see that there was a moist wet stain in my shorts, right between my legs. It looked like I had peed a tiny bit, but it was obviously wet from me, I had gotten so excited watching that video that I had soaked thru the thin yellow fabric of my shorts.

My heart was still beating fast, and part of me wanted to run out of his room, but I just couldn't, all I could do was just hope he wouldn't notice.

My brother looked helpless, and he stared at me. Then he said, "I really mean it, your hair looks totally cute."

I was worried the way he was looking at me, but it felt SO nice to hear him compliment me and tell me how cute I looked.

I replied, "Thank you, you are always so kind to me."

He was sitting on his bed, and I awkwardly climbed up next to him, just like we've done a thousand times over the years. It had always felt normal and peaceful to sit side by side on his bed like this. But right now I was feeling so nervous.

And then I saw that big bottle of baby oil of the night stand next to the bed, it was the same bottle from that video. For some reason, it was reassuring for me to see it so close.

I felt so shaky, but I told John, "I know you've been feeling upset lately, and I've been worried."

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me with a lost expression.

I added, "Please John, I'll do anything to help."

My brother warily stated talking, "I've been wanting to tell you about - some stuff - that's been going on in my life, and I - I feel like you are the only person in the whole world I can talk to."

Earlier in the day my brother nervously told me on the phone that something was wrong. But seeing him so close to me, and knowing how emotional he was just made me feel such a deep need to help him.

I asked, "Is everything okay?"

He replied in a really sad voice, "Oh I'm not sure, I've been - well - I've been sort of obsessed lately, and I don't understand what's happening."

I asked, "What do you mean?"

But I knew exactly what he meant, he was obsessively watching that beautiful video over and over.

There was a long pause, and after a moment he cautiously spoke, "I feel like I'm living in a sort of dream world."

He seemed so shaky as he spoke.

I encouraged him, "I want to hear more."

"I feel like I'm lost in a place where all I can do is think about - well - about one thing - it's a beautiful dreamlike fantasy."

Hearing those words I knew he was talking about that movie.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I'm not sure, I mean, you are my little sister, and I love you so much - but I don't know if it would be - well - if it would be okay to tell you."

I looked into his beautiful eyes, and I told him, "Please, you can tell me anything."

In a far away voice, he whispered, "I feel like I'm lost."

He didn't say anything more, he just stared at me. He was on his knees next to me, and I was sitting up leaning against the headboard of his bed.

Neither of us said anything for a long time.

The silence was really mesmerizing, and I just stayed still and let him look at me. His eyes were moving, and he was surveying my entire body. The way he was looking at me made me feel so beautiful.

Then I realized that I was moving, and it was almost like I couldn't control what I was doing. I slowly slid down and stretched myself out on the bed until I was lying with my head on the pillow. Then I put both my arms up over my head and let them lay on the bed.

I stayed motionless like that while my beautiful brother looked down at me, and his expression was so emotional.

Right then I was flooded with an unnerving thought, I realized that I was lying exactly like the cute girl in the beginning of that movie. I was wearing the same clothes, and I had my hair in short little pig-tails, exactly like the girl in the movie.

I was afraid to move, it felt so unfair that I would precisely mimic the very video that had been haunting him. Part of me wanted to run away, but I just stayed still.

He just stared at me with such an expression of longing.

Then he whispered, "I'm so worried. I feel like I'm getting lost in a beautiful fantasy world."

I asked him, "What are you thinking, right now?"

He spoke slow, in a haunted voice, "Oh God Sis, I'm amazed at how beautiful you look - you just seem too perfect - it's like a dream."

I loved hearing him say that. I stayed still as my brother gently caressed my hair and my cheek. I smiled meekly as I looked up at him.

And then I whispered, "This feels nice."

Oh my God, I realized was my brother staring at my breasts.

And then looked down at my own chest, and I was immediately aware that he could clearly see my nipples through the tight fabric of my tank-top. They were really hard and pointy in a way that sort of scared me. I wasn't wearing a bra, and my nipples were SO obvious under the thin fabric of my tight white shirt.

I knew I should just get up and run out of his room, but I didn't do anything, I just let him look.

Letting my brother stare at my chest seemed so forbidden, it felt like I was hypnotizing him.