I Do Do

Teah Saunders was engaged to Hancebridge Jones.

She met him in college, and ever since she's been madly in love with him. She was a Southern Belle out of Birmingham, Alabama who moved to Atlanta when she got accepted to a historically black university.

Teah was often ogled by men (and even women) of all ethnicities. She was a little ditsy, but her body was to die for. Her B cup breasts were fashioned like halved lemons and her behind had an inverted heart shape.

She had a tapered waist line that made her hips and thighs look huge. She loved to wear little black dresses, tight jeans, and open toe heels and sandals.

Teah only had one talent: pooping.

It was all she was good at her entire life. Taking a dump was her calling, and she was close with nature.

Teah also loved good southern cooking. She was a bottomless pit whenever she ate. Her intestines were almost animal-like and her bowels were cavernous.

Two days before the big wedding, Teah had dinner with Hance's parents. Mrs. Jones didn't agree with her son marrying a girl like Teah, but she accepted it.

Mr. Jones promised to help Teah's mother Rhonda pay for a small wedding. Teah wanted to be married in front of a scenic waterfall at a state park in April.

Hance's father had left him some land in Maryland and that was where Hance and Teah would settle down.

Teah started thinking, and that got the gears in her empty little head turning. She knew she was all that.

Teah knew in her heart that her modeling career would take off as soon as she landed a good agent.

She'd be famous and wealthy.

So, where would that time for love and marriage?

She dreaded the thought of sharing her wealth with a spouse who would exploit her at every turn. She had to make certain that she'd never be put into a position where she was the cash heifer in the relationship.

Upon suggestion by a fellow sorority sister, now a divorced mother of two, Teah decided to have a chat with Hance a month before the wedding. It was a talk that would financially free Teah, or fiscally doom her.

Hance met with Teah in her subsidized rental on a Monday night. She had the weekend to think about what she wanted to say to her husband-to-be.

When Hance arrived, the door was unlocked. The TV was on the black entertainment channel and the cable remote was on the table next to an opened can of iced tea. He noticed a paper plate with pizza crust.

"Teah?" he asked. "I'm here."

"I'll be out in a minute," Teah called from the back.

Hance sat down and flipped through channels.

Hance heard the toilet flush and smiled. He knew exactly what Teah was doing back there. He heard the spraying of air freshener and the running of sink water, followed by the vent fan being turned on.

Teah came out of her bathroom wearing cyan blue running shorts with white trim and white stripes on the sides, a light blue halter belly shirt, and matching Terry thong slippers. She tossed a black hair magazine on the nearby chair and put her hands on her hips.

"I just gave birth from my butthole," she said.

Hance showed Teah a piece of pizza crust.

"Eating this shit, I guess you would."

Teah rushed over to Hance as he stood and jumped on to him, wrapping herself around him. She kissed him deeply before he fell back on the sofa with Teah on his lap, facing him, her legs folded under her.

Teah leaned against Hance, her head on his chest so that he couldn't get up, or even try to leave her.

"My butthole is so sore," she told him.

"Why'd you call?" he asked.

Teah got off of his lap and sat beside him, her legs folded under her. She removed her Terry slippers.

"We need to talk about our financial future."

"You mean money?" he asked.

"We're getting married next month, and as your wife, I need to know that my future with you is secure."

"All I want is you. I'll take care of you."

"How do I know you'll always carry me?"

Hance had an answer he knew wouldn't satisfy her.

"You'll just have to trust me."

"That's not good enough, Hance."

"Are you saying I'm not good enough for you?"

Teah looked at the TV, picked up the cable remote and put the volume on mute.

"Let's say my modeling career takes off and you're doing whatever it is you do. Let's say one of us makes it big and the other doesn't. Can I trust you not to come after me in court, if things don't work out?"

"Teah, you think I'll have a problem if you make more money than me? I don't care about money."

"Well, I do. I don't want it to tear us apart. So, I want to know if you'd be okay with an agreement that will prevent us from fighting over who gets to keep what, should our marriage be dissolved."

Hance looked around and laughed.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked.

Teah was straight-faced, and it was scary. It was a side of her Hance had never seen before. She cut her eyes and picked at the French tip on her right big toe.

"You think I'm money hungry, don't you?"

"I think you're confused, Teah. How do I know you're not doing this to benefit yourself?"

Teah grinned at him, but she was still serious.

"You'll just have to trust me."

Hance got up and moved toward the door.

"Where are you getting this? Why are you doing this now? You getting off on this, Teah? You asked me to come over here so we can have an argument?"

"We're not arguing. We're having a discussion."

"About money," he turned to her. "Money that we don't have and things we have yet to do."

"Then, we should come to a legal agreement."

"Agreement? Like a prenup?"

Teah stood, arms folded to her chest.

"Whatever I make from my modeling is mine and whatever you make from your career is yours."

Hance paced before Teah, then stopped.

"You're putting me in a tough spot."

"I just passed what felt like a billiard ball from my rectum. Don't talk to me about tough."

"Teah, I'll do anything for you. But, this prenuptial agreement is not a good idea. But, if this is what you want, I'll do it. I want you to be happy."

Teah smiled and hugged him.

"Fuck my ass before you go."

"You just took a poop," he said.

"I'm all emptied out back there."

Hance looked down at her glossy toenails, then he looked down her back and saw the tops of her smooth butt cheeks in her cyan blue running shorts.

"Got any lube?" he asked.

Teah darted into the kitchen and came back with a 17 ounce plastic bottle of extra virgin olive oil.

"Good enough," Hance took the bottle.

Teah walked Hance to her bedroom.

"I'm still on my period. I wanna fart out your cum, after you unload your creamy jizz in my asshole."

"I'll have the agreement ready for you next week."

The bridesmaids consisted of Teah's friend Gina Smith and three other women from Gina's close circle.

Gina's husband Tom Smith was Hance's best man.

Teah's mother Rhonda shared one of several two-way CB radios with Hance's father and other wedding coordinators to make sure everything ran smoothly.

Rhonda saw the chauffeur waiting next to the white stretch limousine and checked the time.

Rhonda entered the hotel suite rented for the bride and found the bridesmaids chattering with each other.

She turned down the volume on her two-way radio.

"Where is she?" Rhonda asked.

A bridesmaid pointed to a single white door.

Rhonda went over and banged on the door.

"Teah," she said. "Open up."

"I can't get up," Teah said behind the door.

Rhonda looked at the bridesmaids.

"How long has she been in there?"

"Twenty minutes," the bridesmaid guessed.

Rhonda removed a bobby pin from her hair and picked the lock of the bathroom door. She opened the bathroom door and quickly shut it behind her.

Rhonda found Teah sitting on the toilet hunched over with her legs apart, her towel-wrapped head in her hands. Rhonda jabbed Teah with the antenna of her two-way radio. Teah sat up and looked at her mother.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Rhonda asked her.

Teah nodded and put her head down again.

"You're getting married in two hours."

"I know, mom. It's just that I'm bloated, and this thing in my butthole won't budge."

"Get up," Rhonda told her.

"I can't stand up," Teah said. "It'll hurt."

"Get off the toilet, Teah."

Before Teah could respond, Rhonda pulled Teah by the arm, forcing Teah to get to her feet, though she held onto the sink, still hunched over.

Rhonda opened the bathroom door.

"Get out," she told the bridesmaids.

Rhonda pulled Teah over to the bed where Teah curled up into a fetal position in only her bra with a bath towel on her head. Rhonda sat down beside her.

"Sit up," Rhonda said.

"I can't sit up. It'll hurt."

"On your knees," Rhonda smacked Teah's butt.

Teah got to her knees, extra careful not to shift her upper body too far vertical too quickly. She let her butt cheeks rest on the heels of her feet.

"Open up your butt cheeks," Rhonda said.

Teah held her cheeks open and let her anus relax.

"Push like you have to poop," Rhonda said.

Rhonda saw nothing but darkness in her open anus at first, then came the head of a hard, dark mass.

The chunk of extrusive fecal rock looked absolutely painful trapped behind Teah's stretched anus.

It had the look and texture of fine-grained basalt.

"Sweet Jesus," Rhonda professed. "Why didn't you tell me you were constipated?"

Teah collapsed onto her side, like Rhonda would give her a warm mineral oil enema right there.

"I can't do this today," Teah said. "Call it off."

"The fuck I will," Rhonda swore. "You are walking down that aisle today, young lady."

"I can't even stand up, mom! It hurts!"

Rhonda quickly shoved Teah's head downward.

"What are you doing?" Teah asked.

Rhonda got behind Teah, held on to Teah's big butt like she was roping a calf, and wet her right thumb with her mouth. She placed her wet thumb between Teah's butt cheeks, causing Teah to yelp and break free.

Rhonda grabbed up Teah's butt again and smacked Teah on her right cheek to make her hold still.

"Bite down," Rhonda said to Teah.

"What are you going to do, mom?"

"The bridal lingerie that came with your wedding dress costs $500. We can't have this thing smearing up that nice satin thong. So, I'm going to push your poop back into your butt."

"Please don't," Teah exclaimed.

"Hush up, child. Bite down on the pillow."

Teah did this and shut her eyes.

When Rhonda's thumb sank into Teah's anus and felt the tip of the turd, she forced the tip of her thumb against the head of the turd, causing Teah to scream.

The bridesmaids outside the door were horrified.

Rhonda ground her thumb deep in there until she felt like the stool was well hidden in Teah's colon.

Rhonda went to the bathroom to wash her hands.

When Rhonda came back, Teah was sitting on her bottom, but she wasn't moving. Rhonda produced an 8 ounce flask and a medication bottle. She showed Teah four pills in one palm and the flask in the other.

"Take these," Rhonda said. "Then, drink this."

"Is that alcohol?!" Teah asked, troubled.

"Put the pills in your mouth and drink this."

Teah popped the pills and took a swig.

Teah gasped and coughed. Rhonda laughed.

"What the hell is that?!" Teah asked.

Rhonda took a long swig.

"Good old cinnamon whiskey, commonly known as Fireball. Those pills are oxycodone, aka percocets."

Teah took the flask from Rhonda and took another swig of cinnamon whiskey. She burped and gave the empty flask back to her mother.

"In about twenty or thirty minutes you're going to feel a buzz and you're going to feel really nice. It'll be like that turd in your butthole doesn't even exist."

Teah finally stood up straight.

"I'm ready to marry Hance."

"Get dressed," Rhonda said. "We're all waiting."

The limousine ride out to the state park was about 40 minutes, but it seemed like it was longer than that.

Once there, Teah was taken into the tourist center where final adjustments were made to her flare, body-contour wedding dress with a wide wrap collar. She was given elbow length, fingerless bridal gloves.

Teah thought about wearing four inch pumps that came with the wedding dress, but decided against it at the last minute, realizing that she'd be crossing slightly rugged terrain to reach the area before the waterfall.

On her feet were white crochet foot adornments that posed as barefoot sandals. She slid on white wedge flip flops and was driven in a golf cart to the start of the nature trail to the rock falls where her future husband awaited her arrival. Teah was given a white bouquet.

Teah started down the footpath, smelling the scents of the wet ground and various plant life.

When Teah came to the opening with the waterfall, her knees almost gave out. She saw Hance in his white tuxedo, with Tom and the other groomsmen.

Then, came the second shocker. An older man in a suit approached Teah with his arm out to her.

"Daddy?!" Teah asked.

Teah's father George got beside her and she locked arms with him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Your mom told me you were getting hitched," said old George. "Only fair that I give my only daughter away to this decent, young man."

Rhonda rushed in and dabbed away Teah's tears.

Teah carefully made her way toward the ceremonial area before the falls. She removed her white wedge flip flops before George helped her onto the stage.

George bobbed his head to Hance and positioned Teah directly in front of him. Teah looked as if she was hyperventilating as she stood face to face with the man she would spend the rest of her life with.

When the pastor started talking, Teah shut her eyes and breathed easy. She listened to the waterfall nearby.

Teah opened her eyes and found Hance putting a diamond wedding band on her right ring finger.

When Hance got hold of her hands, Teah shuttered and felt her anus open up wide.

The crowning turd had caused her to close her eyes again, until the fecal mass sank back into her rectum.

Hance looked to the pastor before he pulled Teah close and kissed her on the mouth.

Teah made fists with her toes as she threw her arms around Hance and kissed him back.

Hance and Teah took dozens of pictures.

Teah wanted a loaded wedding album to show to her friends. She was smiling so much, it made her cheeks hurt. She was so in love, so happy, so bound up with rock hard poop.

The fecal mass was cemented in her rectum where Rhonda had pushed it back with her thumb.

But, the painkillers Rhonda had given to Teah took the urge to defecate far from Teah's mind.

George and Rhonda looked at Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

They all approved of the union. Whether it would last or not was up to their children.

The reception was back at the tourist center where Hance and Teah cut a three layer wedding cake and fed each other pieces of it.

But, Teah gestured for Hance to feed her more of the cake. Hance whispered to Teah that it would spoil her dinner. Teah made it known, in the form of a joke, that she was hungry and that she was ready to eat.

During the toast, Hance's best man Tom stood up and said kind things about Hance and Teah.

Teah ate while Tom spoke, but looked up at him to look as if she was interested in what he was saying.

When Tom ended his short speech and toasted to the newlyweds, Hance leaned in to kiss Teah and got a mouthful of southern baked Macaroni and cheese.

After the overly dramatic bouquet toss and the less interesting garter toss, Teah was ready to leave with Hance. Her belly was full and she wanted good, raw, cervix-pounding, animalistic sex.

Hance and Teah got into their regular clothes.

Hance wore a dress shirt, a jacket and jeans.

Teah had on a little black dress and evening sandals.

The newlyweds waved goodbye to everyone before they got into the limousine headed for the casino hotel.

Hance and Teah didn't say much to each other for most of the ride. Hance just ogled his wife in her black halterneck, body-contour dress.

Teah's legs were crossed and her hands folded on her pelvis. Her feet were lovely in her strappy, stiletto peep toe high heels. Teah noticed Hance noticing her.

"You like my French tips?" she asked him.

"You are so divine," he said. "You're a goddess."

"I hope you will serve your goddess well."

"How did I ever get so lucky?"

Teah got onto his lap and kissed his face.

"I want to be the mother of your children."

Hance produced two glasses for him and her.

"What about your modeling?" he asked her.

Teah reached for sparkling wine, poured some into both their glasses, and put it back into the ice holder.

"You'll be my manager," Teah said. "You'll find me working in the industry. You'll help make me famous."

They toasted and drank.

Teah grabbed the bottle and drank from it. Hance snatched the bottle away from her and she laughed, wine running down her chin and on to her dress.

When they arrived to check in at the casino hotel, Teah noticed that men were looking at her while she walked. In the elevator up to the suites, Hance and Teah were on opposite sides of the car.

Teah looked pretty shit-faced, but showed no signs of intoxication. Hance just stared at her hourglass body in the tight dress, thinking of everything he wanted to do to her once they were behind closed doors.

They got out of the elevator and found their suite.

Teah stepped out of her strappy, stiletto heels and held them. She looked at Hance, eyes wide.

"What?" he asked.

"Am I not a goddess?" she asked him.

"Fuck yes," he told her.

"Carry me," she said to him. "I am divine."

Hance opened the suite door and quickly scooped Teah up. He found the memory foam king sleeper and carefully placed her on it.

Teah sat up on her elbows and rubbed the soles of her feet on the cool bedspread while Hance set the mood with lowlights and smooth jazz music.

Hance got on top of Teah with the front of his left thigh between her open legs. The heat from her genital area was intense as he kissed her.

Teah sat up and eyeballed him.

"We gotta get out of these clothes."

Before Teah could pull her little black dress over her head, Hance was already nude, balancing himself on one foot, trying to remove his ankle sock.

They hopped into the stand-up shower where more kissing and caressing took place.

Warm water relaxed Teah's body, causing the inner workings of her bowels to begin moving all that she ate down into her descending colon.

Teah was drying off when she felt that massive fecal wad shift downward and bury itself in her anal canal.

Teah cut low whisper farts as the fecal impaction slowly began to dilate her rectal walls. The desire to defecate became stronger when stretch receptors were pushed to their limits within her temporary storage site.

Instead of lingerie, Teah put on a black high waist, double slit maxi skirt that stopped at her ankles and a black long sleeve belly shirt. She chose to go barefoot.

Hance had on nothing but his boxer briefs.

Teah stood there with her hands on her hips, her silky black hair still in a bridal updo. She thought in her mind that she needed to break this man down, so that he'd obey and serve nobody else, but her.

Teah pushed Hance down on the bed and quickly mounted him. With her turd right there on the edge and peristaltic waves propelling the feces toward the opening of her anus, Teah adjusted herself over his cucumber-shaped erection with her maxi shirt still on.

Teah rode the shit out of Hance, saying dirty things to him about her pussy and her asshole.

Hance groaned while Teah bounced on his erection with her head back, her eyes shut, her pussy gushing.

Hance sat up and held Teah close, her arms and legs coiling around his body. He got on his knees and let Teah readjust herself on his erection.

Hance's dick was smeared with white cream and Teah's vulva was puking thick vaginal secretions.