I Hate Miles Bonn

That evening, I thought some more about going, not because of Miles but because I wanted to at least have a little fun. The next day I ordered a long princess dress with the idea of wearing a small mask over the eyes like they used to do in the old days. Everyone would know who I was but at least I would have a costume on. In the few days leading up to the party, most of the office staff was in a good mood anticipating the opportunity to cut loose and have some fun.

The office shut down early that Friday so people could go home, get changed and drive to the hotel where the event was being held. I showered, did up my hair and makeup and pulled on my gown. It was fairly full with several petticoats and I could tell it would be warm, perhaps too warm. I decided, much like when we were working that day when the AC was out, not to wear my panties or even a bra. The dress itself was long and modest and no one would know I was going commando.

I took a Lyft to the hotel which would allow me to drink and not worry about driving home. Once I got there, I realized the party was going to be a big one. The company has several hundred employees and when you include spouses and dates, there would be quite a crowd. Inside I was greeted by several coworkers, grabbed a glass of wine and began to circulate. It was fun! Many of the employees were unrecognizable in their fancy costumes but obviously everyone could tell who I was. I mean, how many five-foot ten princesses are there? There was a no-host bar and plenty of hors d'oeuvres, all thanks to the Colbys' generosity. After an hour, a small band started playing dance music and some oldies. Several couples got up and started dancing by the stage. I was asked to dance by several men and we generally had a good time.

Half way through my second glass of wine, I saw Deadpool, or at least someone who looked like what Gwen had described. His suit seemed to be a tiny bit too loose for his frame but I doubt any of the women there would complain. He danced with a few of the women before sitting down facing away from the crowd with a plate of snacks. I tried to ignore him but found my eyes drifting back to him time and time again. And I found myself getting turned on. It had been weeks since my last time with Mario and I realized I was missing a man in bed with me. After several more dances, one with a guy who held me close enough to feel his erection, I realized I could easily misbehave if I didn't get out of there. I excused myself from the dancing and made my way to the table for one more snack and another glass of wine. As I was chewing the chocolate cake with orange frosting, dribbling crumbs down my front, I saw Miles get up and walk towards the exit leading to the restrooms.

It was almost as if I had no control over my body. I put down the cake and made my way through the crowd and towards the same exit. When I got there, he was gone so I waited for a few minutes until he returned. I walked up to him, grabbed his hand and said, "Don't say a damn thing and come with me." I led him down the hall until we came to an unmarked door. Once I opened it, I realized it must have been a small break room for the employees. It had a saggy sofa, several chairs, a small table, a microwave and a fridge. I dragged him over to the sofa, turned him to face me and pushed him down.

He began to speak when I told him, "I said don't say a damn thing and I meant it."

I knelt in front of him, pulled his costume pants down to his knees and quickly followed that by pulling down his tighty whities. Miles' cock was fairly average in size but was rapidly growing. When fully erect, it was more than adequate for what I needed. I needed it in me because I needed, once and for all, to get rid of that craving for his body and my obsession with him and everything he stood for.

I hiked up my dress and straddled him before lowering myself onto his cock. My puss was plenty wet and I slid right down until I hit bottom. Though I couldn't see his eyes through the gauze, when I looked at him, his head was turned as if he was eying the door or the furniture. I rose up until he was almost out of me and dropped back down. It felt good, really good and I was beginning to appreciate, majorly appreciate, having his cock buried in me. I rose up a second time, dropped down on him but when I rose up a third time, Miles groaned and writhed beneath me!

He had come! I was barely getting started and the shit had come, dammit! What a waste! I was pissed, pissed at him for having a hair trigger and, more importantly, pissed at me for my own behavior.

"You shit," I spat out at him. "Thanks for nothing!"

I pulled myself off him, grabbed a napkin from the table and cleaned myself before turning and leaving the room. As I left, I saw him slumped over and slowly pulling up his tighty whities. 'Fucker,' I thought to myself as I tore down the hall and fled the ballroom, 'I go through all that and he can't even last. At least it will cure me of the Miles virus.'

In the Lyft on the way home, I wept openly. The driver was a nice, grandfatherly-type guy who asked if everything was OK and if had I been hurt. Through my tears I reassured him I would be OK and, no, I wasn't physically hurt though emotionally I was a wreck. He encouraged me to get a good night's sleep and assured me everything would be better in the morning. Yeah, like that was going to happen.

For the entire weekend I was a wreck. I cried too much, drank too much and hated myself not nearly enough. By Sunday evening I was exhausted but knew I would have trouble getting some sleep so I took a sleeping pill before collapsing into bed.

Monday morning came far too soon. I managed to get cleaned up and dressed, eat and even drive to the office without breaking into tears. I got there early enough Shelly hadn't arrived, so I went into my office and closed the door. For the next few hours, I worked on a project which had been looming and was surprised to see was nearly eleven when my phone buzzed.

"Erin, you have a visitor."

"Who is it?"

"Miles."

"Tell him I'm busy."

"He says it's very important."

"Shelly," my voice shrieked, "The answer is no, I will not see him."

"But..."

I slammed down the phone only to realize a few seconds later the door was opening. There he stood.

"What do you want?" My voice, I realized, was very strident and harsh.

"I felt we needed to talk. I mean things between us have been..."

"Sucky, that's what they've been."

"Look, Erin, I want to try and work things out..."

"There is nothing to work out!" I screamed as I walked in front of my desk.

"But Erin..." he said as he advanced towards me.

I backed up, my butt hitting the desk causing me to almost fall. I reached back quickly to support myself, my left hand hitting my phone knocking the handpiece off the cradle and my right knocking over my little pen holder, scattering pens across the desk and onto the floor.

"Look, we have nothing to talk about. Nothing!"

"Please listen to me. I know there's something here, I know it."

"Oh, is there, Mr. Two Pump Chump?"

He stared at me with a stunned look before he responded, "What on earth are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, you and your inadequate piece of manhood..."

There was a rapid knocking on the door to which I responded, "No! I'm busy here, Shelly."

The door opened and she rushed in. "Shelly!" I almost screamed, "I said I was busy, now please leave us alone."

With a look of sheer agony, she pointed to the phone behind me and said, "Uh, the emergency intercom is on, Erin, and everyone can hear you."

I turned and looked at the phone. She was right. The handset was on the desk and the red light on the main unit was on. Everything I had said since I knocked the phone over was broadcast throughout the office. Everyone knew!

Have you ever had one of those moments when you suddenly realize your life is immediately going to change and not for the better? Kind of like seeing the police car lights flashing behind you, but maybe twenty times worse? Your heart speeds up, you get all shaky inside and nausea rips through your gut?

I turned off the intercom button, swallowed against the nausea welling up in my throat, collapsed into my chair and whispered, "Would you two please leave?" I heard the door close as my body began to shake with fear and self-loathing. Everyone heard! Everyone heard me call him a two-pump chump. Everyone knew I screwed him. Everyone knew I was coming unhinged talking with him and yelling at Shelly. Everyone knew I was a total loser.

I stared at the wall, heartbeat pounding in my head as my mind raced. After twenty minutes I knew the only solution to my situation. I opened my computer and typed the following:

J.J. Colby

Colby and Colby

Mr. Colby,

I hereby tender my resignation effective immediately. I recommend Trevor take over my position. Thank you.

Erin Kassel

I hit 'Print', rose from my desk and walked through the door to the printer by Shelly's desk where I picked up the letter.

"Erin, are you...?"

"I can't talk right now, Shelly. I'm going to Colby's office."

"But..."

"Shelly!" I warned as she turned pale and looked away.

The walk to Colby's office was the longest walk I ever took, the hardest task I ever did. A hike across the Grand Canyon in the summer would be a piece of cake compared to this. I had given the eulogy at my dear grandmother's funeral and I would rather have done ten more than take that walk up to Colby's office. I could sense, I could feel all eyes on me as I made my way. In the large cubicle office space, you could have heard a pin drop, it was so silent. No one greeted me. No one called to me. I was an outcast.

At Colby's office Gwen looked up at me with the most pitiful, apologetic eyes imaginable. "Ms. Kassel, uh, Erin, I'm so, so..."

"Gwen, is he in?" I interrupted.

"No, but I expect him back in just a few minutes."

"Please give him this for me," I asked as I started to turn to the door.

"Erin, you can't mean this!" she exclaimed as she read the letter.

"I have to. Good-bye, Gwen."

When I reached my office, Shelly stood and told me Mr. Colby had just called and asked for me to return immediately to his office. Numbly, I turned around and walked back suffering the silence and the stares again. His door was open and Gwen simply waved me in.

"Please close the door. Thank you. I have your letter here and I would like you to reconsider..."

"Mr. Colby, my decision is firm."

"Well, I'm very sorry to hear that. Yours was the third resignation I received in the last fifteen minutes."

"Third?"

"Yes. First a chap in the tech office, then Miles and now you. What the hell is going on?"

"Mr. Colby, I cannot and will not answer that question. You have my letter and it should suffice. I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am."

"And you have no idea how sorry I am."

There was a soft knocking on the door, Colby asked them to come in and, to my great surprise and horror, Miles walked in.

"Now, you two, I'm going to leave this office and give you some time to work things out. I expect you both to undo your resignations so we can continue to work together and make this the great organization I know it can be."

Once he silently closed the door behind him, I looked over at Miles. He was a broken, devastated man. He started to talk, paused and then spoke.

"Erin, what was that comment about, anyway?"

"Are you serious? After Friday night you have the audacity to ask that question?"

"Friday? What happened Friday?"

"At the party!"

"Erin, I wasn't even at the party."

"You, uh, you were. I saw you. We, uh, well you know what we did."

"Erin, that wasn't me. I wasn't there."

"Then what the fuck happened to Deadpool?"

"I got sick. I didn't go. Someone else must have gone as Deadpool, too."

For the second time in forty minutes, I was devastated. First the intercom issue and now this. I had royally fucked everything up. I must have screwed some random guy and then broadcast for the entire office to hear he had a hair trigger. Everyone thought it was Miles but obviously the guy knew better. Then it hit me; he must have been the third one who resigned.

"So," I said weakly, "You weren't there with me in the break room?"

"No."

"And you weren't the one I, uh, I attacked?"

"No."

"And you weren't the one I called a two-pump..."

"No. It wasn't me."

"Oh, shit."

"Erin, don't you see? It was all a big mistake. We don't have to leave and we, you and I, can try to work things out."

"How can I look at anyone in this office in the eye, ever? Every time I speak up, they'll think, 'Yeah, she's the slut who fucked Miles and I will have lost all respect and authority. No, I definitely have to leave."

"Please don't, I beg you."

"Why, Miles, why do you even care?"

"Because...I...uh...I love you, that's why."

"Love? Are you nucking futs? Love?"

"Yes! I've wanted you for a long, long time."

"You're crazy. You never even let me know..."

"I was going to but then you started dating that guy. I backed off because I respected you too much. It hurt, but I didn't want to interfere."

"And then there's the way you treat me, the way you pick me apart, the way you doubt everything I say in our meetings. You say you love me? I call bullshit."

"And I see your bullshit and raise it one. You want to know why I did those things to you? I'll tell you why. You are the smartest woman, no, you're the smartest person I have ever met. You'll go far in the world, I can tell. And I wanted to help you solidify your thoughts and fine tune your presentations so you'd knock the socks off the Colby's. And those proposals we worked on? Yours were by far the best, your worst one was way better than my best one. I don't know why you even let one of mine get presented, it was so much weaker than yours. You rock in so many ways and I just wanted to help you..."

"While that's nice to hear, it's too late. There's been too much pain and it would be waaaay too embarrassing to stay here. Goodbye, Miles. You can tell Colby my letter of resignation stands."

As I turned to leave, he came up to me and wrapped me in his arms. It felt sooo good but I knew, I just knew I still had to leave. With a sob in my throat, I pulled away from him and left the room.

Back at my office I picked up my purse and the photo of my family on my desk, dropped my ID badge, office key and executive parking pass on Shelly's desk and wordlessly turned to leave.

"Erin, please don't..."

"I have to, Shelly, I have to. And I'm sorry about yelling at you..."

"It was nothing, really, We'll look back and laugh about this some day."

"I don't think so. Look, if you ever need a letter of recommendation, just text me the deets and I'll get it to you. Good luck."

"Bye, Erin, I'll miss you terribly," she cried as she gave me a big hug. I turned and left my office for the last time.

I was numb for the next few weeks. I could barely function. The office number as well as an unidentified caller's number came up on my caller ID a couple of times but I chose to ignore all of them. I finally called my folks and asked if I could move back for a few weeks. I could tell my mother wanted to know why but she was a great mom and simply said yes. I had all my stuff put into storage, took a few suitcases of clothes and personal items, and drove the long twelve hundred miles back home.

My folks, especially my mom, were great. They didn't ask questions and didn't pry. They simply took me in and gave me the unconditional love only a parent can give. After three or four weeks I was feeling better and I realized they were probably missing their empty nest. About that time, I got a text from Mr. Colby. In it he said he wanted to offer me a letter of recommendation and I responded thanking him profusely. His text triggered me to get serious about a job search so I went online to see what might be available. I applied to several positions and once I gave them J.J. Colby as a reference, I would hear back within three days. I interviewed at three and was in the middle of deciding when my mother came to me one evening.

"Who broke your heart, Erin?"

"What?"

"You looked like someone who was deeply in love and were dumped or who found him with another woman. Who was it?"

"Mom, it's way, way more complicated than that."

"But you love him, don't you?"

It was the first time I had ever been asked that and it caused me to ask myself the same question. Maybe I did love him. Maybe his explanation about his office behavior was true. And there was definitely no 'maybe' about my attraction to him. I mean, look what a stupid thing I did because I wanted him so much. It cost me my job and my pride and I still hadn't slept with him. Yes, in a tiny way I had to admit maybe my feelings were a lot stronger than I had thought.

"Yeah, Mom, in a way, I think I might. But it's over and I'm moving on with my life. I'll choose one of these jobs and I'll be out of your hair soon."

"Oh, Honey, you're not in our hair and you're welcome to stay as long as you need to recover."

"Thanks, Mom. You guys mean the world to me."

-----

Eighteen months later...

My private line from my secretary Kaitlyn buzzed late one Friday morning.

"Yes?"

"Uh, Erin, may I come in for a second?"

"Sure."

A few seconds later there was a soft knock and she slid through the door, closing it quickly behind her.

"The CEO and HR want you to look at a candidate for the R and D directorship position."

"Oh? That's kind of out of my area, isn't it?"

"I don't know but being as you're VP for operations, I guess they want your input on any of the hires for leadership positions. I got the idea they like him and..."

"Oh. Well, set up an appointment and..."

"He's in the front office and they wanted you to interview him now, if possible. And I know you'll want to interview him once you see him. He's serious eye-candy. His FS is ninety-five to a full one hundred."

"Kaitlyn, you know that's inappropriate," I said trying to keep a straight face. Kaitlyn was single and always checked guys out, giving them 'fuckability scores,' even though I tried, usually with a barely semi-straight face, to discourage such behavior. But she was sweet and young as well as a great secretary, so I tended to turn a blind eye when she slipped up now and then.

"Let me go get him," she said as she dropped his CV on my desk. I ignored it as I have long made it a habit to not look at CVs until after I have met the person, preferring to get a gut feeling before looking at their background details.

"Here she is. Ms. Kassel, let me introduce Miles Bonn. Mr. Bonn, this is Ms. Kassel, our VP of Operations."

I was absolutely stunned. A sly smile creased his lips and that tiny dimple popped into view as he reached across the desk to shake my hand.

"Hi, I'm Miles Bonn, nice to meet you Ms. Kassel."

"Uh, nice meeting you. You're here for a quick, informal interview, I take it?"

"Yes. I've applied for the head of R and D over at the Smith Road office and they wanted to get your blessing."

"Uh, thank you Kaitlyn, you may go now," I said to get the ogling young woman out of the office. As she left, she pretended to fan herself behind Miles' back.

"So, where were we, Mr. Bonn?"

"Well, as I recall, the last main topic we discussed a year and a half ago was the fact that I had..."

"Mr. Bonn," I admonished with a smile, "Let's keep this strictly professional. Uh, what are your strong points that you can bring to this organization?"

"I can bring loyalty. Once I've made a decision, I'll stick with it, no matter what it takes."