I Hate You, I Need You

I lie here curled on my side. My hands resting under the pillow, the blankets tucked up to my chin. The space behind me so desperately empty. I need you there. Your warm hard plains, pressed against me. I miss your strong arms wrapped around me. Your long legs, too heavy when they lie twisted around on top of mine. My anguished want radiates from me. Can you feel it wherever you are? "Come to me, please" my mind silently screams. It is unfathomable to me you can't hear my craving, surely it reaches you, compelling you into my bed.

I hear the door handle twist, the outside sounds of the busy street entering my home for a moment, the door quietly closes. I wait, holding still. Your footsteps echo down the hall. I lie facing the window, my back to the door. I close my eyes and I feel your presence in the doorway. I dare not move, continuing to silently beg for you.

I feel your weight on the bed, the double shudder as you kick off your shoes. Fully clothed you lift the covers and climb in behind me.

Tears prick my eyes in relief as your arms wrap around me, your long legs spooning mine, your hand sweeping back my hair, your lips rest on my neck.

I don't move, or speak, I am still angry with you, for making me need you and want you this badly.

Your lips start to move, your breath in my ear, you push the strap on my black tank off my shoulder, drawing a line of kisses. "I'm here now baby" I hear you say, your kisses and fingers continuing their line falling back over my bare shoulder. You tell me I smell good, as the fingers of your flattened palm find the hem of my shirt, pushing underneath, lightly massaging my skin on my lower, and then upper back as you draw upwards, taking my tank with you. A desperate moan escapes my lips as my breasts gently bounce, released from my top, the cold air almost overwhelming my sensitive globes. I fucking need you. I'm not going to say though. You cold prick. You who comes into my bed, uses me and leaves.

Your hand runs along my side, my breath quickens I am helpless as I squirm back into your lap. Both hands reach my breasts together, full hands cup my soft round orbs, my shoulders pull back, pushing me into your palms, you squeeze hard. You pull me against you, and press your body to me, a hint you want me too. You tweak my nipples, rolling them and pulling them, one hand leaves trailing my stomach, it sneaks into my panties. You find me wet and grunt your approval, your knees kick my legs apart, fanning me open, my panties pushed to the side, your fingers rough and quick on my clit, makes me moan. Your jeans are still on, your bulge rubs against me. I fight the urge to reach back and unhook your button, pull down your zipper, as much as I need and want your cock, to have it spring free, I won't reward you. I need so much more from you, I should be stopping this but I am powerless to resist. My ear is filled with your breath, now shallower, hurried.

Long, strong fingers find my entrance, plunging one finger to the knuckle, then two. Grunting now with your effort, you're swearing, growling, my hands fist under their pillow, my hips rolling to you. "Fuck my fingers slut." as you slam them into me. I come apart, your heavy breath in my ear, your draw your fingers away, gingerly, are you being tender?

Your T-shirt and hoodie come off together in one motion, at the same time you kick your jeans and shorts off. You push me to my back, your thighs around my ears, your thick and heavy cock is pushed down my throat. You don't ask me if I like it, instinctively you give me what I want. Your growl again, loud and deep, your hands opening my thighs, you head dropping between them, you devour me as you fuck my face. Your moans reverberate into my deepest corners, my hands cup your tight ass, as I choke and gag around your cock slamming into my mouth, I run both hands lightly up your back, digging my nails into your skin I drag them back down, marking you as you come down my throat. I explode again on your face, you lap me up.

You move so you are lying flat on top of me, nose to nose. Your blue eyes shine in the blackened room, holding mine a hard, dark look that ruins me. You drop your mouth to mine kissing the corners of my lips, licking up the traces of you. I give in surrendering. Opening my mouth I taste myself on your tongue deep and demanding, your raw emotion sending shivers of panic and pleasure through me. I breathe the scent that is uniquely you, my hands begin to roam, over your skin, your hard lines rising and dipping in all the right places. I love the weight of you on top of me, squashing me into the mattress, feeling protected and safe from the world, knowing the greatest pain is to be delivered, rushing in to fill the void when you leave.

Your cock is hard again, you have started to move, coating it with my wetness, I am moaning as you draw up and down my wet folds. You are teasing me, you have so little you are willing to give me, I won't let you torture me further. I shove your shoulder hard, rolling us until I am on top. Your eyes widen, the hurt and pain permanently etched there replaced momentarily with surprise.

I lower myself onto, your eyes darken, You fill me, stretch me I don't stop. I need this. Biting my lower lip I continue until my pelvis rests on yours. My hands planted on your chest, I rise and fall taking all I can from you. Your hips begin to rise to meet me, I hold your eyes, hate fucking you, knowing when you leave this time my heart will shatter. I no longer look for a reason or way to love you, tears stream down my face as I come apart, your cock throbbing and emptying into me.

I sit atop you, my chest rises and falls beneath a light sheen of sweat, still shuddering, you cradle me gently, rolling me to the bed, you pause a top me, still inside you drop a single kiss on my forehead, your breath ragged you inhale one last deep breath, before you leave. Silently you dress, I watch waiting for you to turn, to speak, waiting for one last look as you rise from my bed, then gone. My top bunched under my arms, my panties still pushed aside, I lay on the sheets the cold forgotten. Your seed on my thighs, your sounds echoing in my mind, your aroma hanging in the air, I hate myself more than I can hate you, for wishing you here.