All Comments on 'I Keep Reaching Ch. 01'

A good start, it has the beginnings of a really good story - do keep going. with more chapters.

Keep writing -- good story start!!

It isn't crap at all

Keep going! This is the basis of a great story.

Certainly not utter crap, keep it up. Can't wait for chapter two.

Not crap at all, well done

Your writing is well developed and you should definitely continue. I look forward to your next chapter.

I really want to see where this goes. Please, keep writing!

My dick hurts, it's so hard from the epicness of this story. Please keep going.

I already have a full outline of chapter 2 and wrote the first couple scenes. Chapter 2 will likely be at least twice as long but now that the intros are out of the way, I can spend more time on the fun bits. :)

This is a great story. I look forward to many more chapters. This is the best I've read in a while.

you are too modest sir ...

well played

...to what I hope becomes an equally good series. You show great talent and I really look forward to read the rest of this story and other more to come. The setting is realistic, the characters believable, the action not overbearing and the drama only makes it more exciting.

Nothing but a 5* would do here!

Such a hot and well written story.. please continue.. it made me feel close to them both

I fucking love this story. Best story ever.

More, please. Can't wait to see how this progresses. Thank you.

Great concept, poor editing. A number of inconsistencies, though. One example would be the brother's guilt over staying away so much over the last two years when, early on he explains how he dove home every weekend because he missed his family. I also found the positions on the bed difficult to picture. You might consider getting an editor.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

I can understand how you could read it that way, but to be clear, Erik was homesick, not necessarily missing his family. Believe me, there's a difference. The point was that Erik and Chloe had drifted apart. I'll try to be more descriptive in the future.

I'll definitely get an editor in the future, thanks for the feedback!

Very enjoyable. I would have enjoyed some gradually increasing fondling and teasing days before the big bang. You have some talent.

You wound us up like a top, great build up and conclusion. Keep this story going, it's great!

I'm more interested in the psychological aspect of the sister. Good story.

I'm hooked! Don't EVEN think about casually getting around to the next chapter... Great story so far!

Great story. Loving it. More please!!!

You have a great story going now, don't stop. Waiting for next chapter. Thanks

Legend.

More please.

keep going...you had it right there...this story has potential to become one of the best here...just stick to your awesome ideas and great plot towards the next chapters...I'm one crazy fan here already trying to figure out if Chloe's depression has something to do with a huge secret thing towards her bro...well...that's just me who is also a sucker for romantic sibling incest and I hope I am not getting ahead of your ideas nor spoiling your plans for these two...can't wait to read the rest of the story...Thank you for a good read

An incredible description of how emotional need turns into desire, erotic action and relief. I want more. I need more!!

No real endorsements till we see the rest. "Fool me once,...blah blah" y'know.

Nice going though

well done

So you have this girl who is about 19 year old - incidentally an age where humans (at least in the Western culture) in general are at the greatest risk of developing serious psychological problems. This girl happens already to be so mentally screwed up by depression (as her mother thinks it is) or something else, that yesterday she literally tried to kill herself. The readers and the brother in the story at this stage really don't know anything about what has caused her problems this big.

In this existentially utmost serious and vulnerable situation her brother, who has been very remote in her life the last years, steps into the picture "for the rescue". And what does he do for helping and responding to her "I need you"?

Besides staying physically close and to some extent showing concern and human affection, (in its own good enough), talking with her - but mostly on his own premisses (could have been better in the "empathy department", but, hey, what can we really expect from such a young man ...) and watching horror (??!) movies together (well, it was her choice, but ....), - yes, the thing he does is sticking his finger up her ass and introduces her to the in general psychologically very difficult and troublesome theme and experience of incest. He lets his own bodily lust totally take control - letting his, in this situation much needed, affection for his sister be overtaken by his own affect in the most selfish and insensitive manner.

Yes, I know, this site is much about bodily lust and in particular this is the "incest/taboo" category - and surely the author will in later chapter tell us readers that the girl's mental problems grew out of her feeling of lost contact with her dear brother, in particular because she in secret had been in love with him for many years. Still, all the author's efforts of writing in a very lively and good manner, (albeit with a certain need for editing), creates in me a mood where I'd rather puke than wank because of what Erik does to his sister.

So, sorry! No, I don't need more chapters.

But by all means, keep on writing, you have narrative talent. But, this category is a demanding one, if you really take on the psychological aspects it involves you need to be careful with your characters and your readers.

Yep..that's kind of the story. I'm sorry if you're not a fan of the catalyst used to engage the incest, but I do plan on digging deeper into their emotions and intentions. This was just the first chapter, though, and it's exclusively from the perspective of Erik, which I think is an important thing to consider. I was purposely vague in certain areas. Realistically, people don't just immediately open up and spill the entire contents of a story and I'm trying to make this story realistic.

I hope you read chapter 2 when I publish it, probably sometime next week but not sure. Believe me, I am fully aware that depression is a very serious thing and am not casually using it for the sake of making erotic fiction.

Loved It!

When can we expect parts 2 - ?

Mark

Going to run chapter two through an editor today and submit it shortly after.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Was pretty good, I hope you write more.

I can't wait for chapter 2, I keep checking up on it.

...buildup and nice way to end with Chloe wanting Erik that way. I love that she has auburn hair and I love how she wants him, so I eagerly can't wait for Ch. 2. :)

This is a good start (for you as a writer). You definitely have a talent you should continue to explore and develop. My biggest praise goes to your responses to other readers' feedback. It's refreshing to see an author be positive about the comments they receive. That being said, I have a couple for you as well. I apologize if they seem like repeats of others.

Be careful with your timeline. On page one, he notices his mom being awake at eleven in the morning. When he talks to his sister, she tells him about her appointment at noon. He then takes the time to putter around while she gets ready before taking her to lunch, all in less than an hour. Doesn't seem like nearly enough time.

The medical part of this doesn't make a lot of sense to me. She most likely wouldn't have been released from the hospital until it was certain her blood work was good to go, so the appointment would have been unnecessary. More realistically, she would have been under psychiatric care, and an appointment with a therapist would have made more sense.

To lie in the prone position is to be on your stomach. The supine position is lying on your back, which I believe is what you meant. Did I know what you were trying to describe? Of course, but small errors like that can cause readers to stumble.

All in all, I enjoyed your story and am getting ready to read your next installment. Knowing you have sent it through an editor, I'm excited. Keep up the good work!

Mike

Thank you! I tries to send chapter two through an editor but after a dozen emails and two days I just decided to submit it. You're right of course, and I'll be more critical of the timeline in the future.

Love the tenderness of brother and sister falling in love.

I want more! This was definitely one of my favourites!!

Well other than what looked like auto-correct misspelling words, I thought the chapter was really, really good!

Heh, I loved that one bit; Oh, my dick is uncomfortable, lemme just yank my jeans down to my knees and pull most of my dick up above my waistband. Whew, thats better! Rofl!!

Ill have to try that one on the wife, hehehe.

mmmmmm

wow! you got me!

Nice depth of emotion

Good premise.

But the sex, when it happened, happened too fast, and lacked the detils that could have made it erotic.

Three stars.