I Love Luci Ch. 20

Lucifer felt her knowing gaze touch him as intimately as Gwen's body was, and he couldn't help the slight leap of his heart... or his cock. "And admit it," Evvie continued matter of factly to Gwendolyn. "If you felt safe enough, you'd let him do just about anything with our body."

The lowered lashes and crimson flush of her cheeks answered more loudly than anything Gwen might have said aloud, and Lucifer kissed her soundly, covering her vulnerability even as Evangeline narrowed in on it and exploited it. There was something twisted, indeed, in Evangeline's sensual teasing that exposed more and more of Gwen's hidden depths as if she was being stripped bare before him. And she was. Being a shadow in the same mind and body, Evangeline had a home court advantage Lucifer could scarcely imagine. And she was using it as expertly as a surgeon wielding a scalpel; precisely cutting away the curtains of shame and propriety that formed the gossamer wall between Gwendolyn and her undisclosed desires.

"You watched us with Dionysus." Evangeline said without a trace of recrimination or judgement to Lucifer. "I was lucid enough to know it. And you loved what you saw, even as you envied Dionysus. Because you think we cannot accept your inner beast, that part of you that craves our scent as much as our touch, that cannot be so easily soothed with words and a gentle hand." She shook her head, her dark burgundy tresses catching whatever light existed in this dream space. "But more, you liked watching her lose herself. And you wanted it to be you that made her do so."

"Yes." He saw no point in denying it; if they were going to finally lay it all on the table, he was willing to meet them with honesty -- an honesty he chose to acquiesce to, rather than felt compelled to give. And as before, something shifted between them, like pressure equalizing, and he could suddenly feel the tight coil of restraint that existed in both women, something that always held both back before things escalated to a level that was too raw and real. It held Gwen back because she feared she could not truly be loved for all her imperfections... it held Ev back because she feared she *would* be, and that what she truly desired would break the woman she viewed as her responsibility. She was the last keeper of the keys to the soul he so longed to call his own, the last warden to both their hearts, intent on keeping them safe.

But they were long past anywhere one might deem "safe". The more autonomy each soul had, Thoth had theorized, the less her overall power would be; split in two and diminished by half as each woman took back her own essence. But Lucifer didn't see that as being true. Even presenting as individuals in this dreamscape, their hold on him had not lessened or diminished. Instead, they were playing off of one another and coaxing him to give up his control in completely different ways. Gwen with her blushes and soft submission, her eagerness to please him making him want to be worthy of trust. Evangeline with her blunt, direct candor and control, ever the strong partner in crime and ideal soft kid glove to his unyielding and often cruel iron will, who made him want to simply hold her high even as he met her darkness with his own.

"Who are we kidding anymore?" Evangeline demanded. "We were lost the day we bought that damn book and he appeared." She offered a wistful half smile. "But I have no question where we stand... you two do. So I am going to *attempt* to give you at least the illusion of privacy to sort your shit out."

"Ev, don't go." Lucifer gently extricated himself from Gwen's delicate hold and he reached for the woman who looked enough like her twin, but was Gwendolyn's utter opposite. "If we are going to do this -- you both need to hear what I have to say."

She arched a brow but resumed her relaxed position on the chaise and gestured for him to continue. "You know you aren't my only...'partners'..." he began awkwardly.

Ev's expression was bland save for the small smile she was restraining, and failed to hold back her chortle of amusement. "I'm terribly shocked," she said dryly. "And you wanted to let me know I need need to watch for cross-species STDs? Demon herpes?"

He cast her a withering gaze and she actually silenced, even though her smirk remained clear in the glittering of her stormy gaze and the quirk of her lips. "Ev, please." She schooled her expression back to a stoic, expectant look. "I don't just mean sexual partners."

Gwen angled herself up on her elbows to regard him. "Then what do you mean?"

Lucifer took a breath, trying to think of how to explain Asmodeus and Salome. "I mean... I don't know if 'friends' is correct, because both are technically my subordinates. But, before you... they were the only ones I could be... myself with. Salome let me be my darkest self but also my gentlest. Mo... to say we have been through Hell together is literally true. Asmodeus was the only person I trusted. And I know he has been part of the reason why the other Celestials see you as a problem... because he did. He does."

"And when you say they aren't your sexual partners ..." Gwen began, her expression full of confusion.

"I said I didn't mean *purely* sexual partners. They are... more than that. The three of us... we have had millennia to become whatever we are. They are..." he struggled to find a definition.

"Your people," Evangeline offered. "Your charges, your pack, your friends, subordinates, and sometimes slaves." She tilted her head, her shrewd grey eyes on him. "You love them, you hate them, you have tortured them both in good ways and painful ways."

"Yes." He was amazed she seemed to grasp it so succinctly. But it had never been Evangeline he feared to lose; her dominant fire was so like his own. She understood how hate and love could blur, how healthy sexual kink could be warped into something far darker. She knew these things from too many lifetimes having seen it play out over and again. But Gwen... it wasn't that she was naive, per se... but rather that she painted her world in shades of light and optimism that seldom is present in a dungeon. And yet, she didn't look bothered, merely confused.

"I guess I don't understand what the drama is." She confessed, leaning back on the bed beside him. "Am I supposed to be bothered you have other people in your life when mine is rife with them?"

"It is less the nature and existence of the relationships and more the... substance of our intimacy..." he faltered and looked helplessly to Evangeline to once again interpret. She blinked as dawning realization flooded her.

"Oh," Ev breathed. "That fantasy that triggered our nightmares tonight. That wasn't a fantasy." She looked to Gwen and said plainly what he could not. "It was a game he has played before... with them."

It was several moments before Gwen spoke. He watched a myriad of thoughts pass like fog behind her jeweled eyes but he didn't see into her thoughts to know them before she spoke them into reality, fear choking him at what she might think of him. Finally she seemed to come to a conclusion and asked: "Is it consensual?"

"Don't be simple," Ev said softly. "They reside in Hell -- do you think it's rife with consent amongst its prisoners?" Her eyes were cold silver chips, but there was still no judgement as she clarified her words directly to Lucifer. "You have a job. I assume Salome is *the* Salome and the Almighty had issues in her call for the head of John the Baptist? And she was remanded to your tender mercies?"

"Just so," Lucifer confirmed. "I would tell you why that scene is the most potent torture I know for her, but even I have some decency, and that reason isn't my story to tell. I won't betray her confidence like that."

Gwen continued to regard him thoughtfully. "She was your prisoner but you care for her," she observed. "Or you wouldn't hesitate to share her frailties."

"When she accepted her fate -- and it took nearly a thousand years, mind you -- she was already seeking companionship from Asmodeus when I was otherwise engaged. She was in love with John, you know. It is was her mother than truly conceived the plot to use her daughter's beauty and skills to charm her step father into killing the man who spurned her advances and spoke ill of her mother. In the end, her 'wickedness' was that all

men wanted her but the one she truly cared for she had killed. And didn't realize her mistake until her lips touched his while his head rested on a tray for her. Didn't realize she was just a tool until she herself was slain. Asmodeus, being a creature of intense anger and lust, took pity on her, which was very unusual for him. But his sympathy sparked my own, over time. She goes to him when she needs love and understanding. But she still always came back to me... sometimes I think she needs the release her 'punishments' give her. She has never forgiven herself for how blithely she was used. And she has never judged me for my delight in her degradation."

"And you're afraid I will?" Gwen looked truly sad, and he felt wretched as he saw a tear clinging to her lower lashes. "Gods, Luci, what a hypocrite I would be! You're here watching me with how many others? Giving me up to my mundane life every day because you know I'd sooner die than leave my family... and I am certain my domestic bliss is hardly easy for you to watch or understand, being that you're... you know.... 'The Devil' and all." She sat up and met his eyes directly from only mere feet away. "Are we done with the 'but I'm so evil and you're so sweet' pity party? Because I'm tired of being underestimated, and I'm sick of watching you emotionally eviscerate yourself trying to mold yourself into what *you* think my ideal mate is. I know there are going to be things -- scary, dark, horrifying things -- that come with having you in my world. But let me ask you this: Will you ever force me again?"

"No." He said it without hesitation. "I was bidden to show you my worst. And while I am sure you know my worst can come with some very ugly truths, I am not so weak that I can ever be compelled to harm you and... I just don't want to, anymore." He met her eyes, finally putting words to the ugliest truth inside him. "That doesn't mean that I don't.... Fantasize... about you in those situations. But... not unwillingly. Not to hurt you or cause you fear or horror. Not only have you done nothing to earn such treatment from me, but the idea of touching you with the desire to harm you -- truly, intentionally do damage to your body or psyche... It is the only thing I have left to fear, because hurting you again would end me. I would never feel again; I would lose myself to the image humanity has erected of me and I would be utterly lost. I never want your pain to be without pleasure. And I do not crave one without the other."

"But you *do* crave my pain." Gwen said, not shying away from his intent. "Even when you bring me pleasure."

He answered honestly. "I crave your surrender. I crave your innocence as you let me peel it from you one touch at a time, one petal at a time, like a daisy in a game of loves me-loves me not. I crave your passion and goodness and bravery. And yes, sometimes I crave your degradation at my hand. Sometimes I want to drink your tears because I have pushed you past the point of endurance. But I want it to be a path you choose. Because what I want most of all... is your trust. Your willingness and permission, and that is a gift you can only choose to bestow. I cannot take it by force. And I can only pray to be worthy should you give me such a thing."

Gwendolyn raised her hand to brush her fingertips lightly across his jaw, and he leaned into her gentle caress. She leaned forward to catch his downcast gaze. "I don't have a problem with whatever you choose to do with anyone else so long as you are acting with the honor and integrity I know you are capable of. I can't pretend to know how Hell works for its prisoners. And I cannot speak for anyone but myself when I say that I have my trepidations about if I am fit enough for the sort of play you crave. And maybe I'm not... in which case, it's a good thing you have Asmodeus and Salome. I never want you unfulfilled to suit my preferences; it wouldn't be at all fair when I seek pleasure so readily from others. And I cannot promise there will never be a time when I have to tap out and say 'this is too much for me' but... is that not what safe words are for? And honestly, it takes a considerable amount if pressure off, not being the *only* outlet you have for your darker desires."

He just blinked at her, and he heard Ev's low, throaty chuckle and he glanced at her as her hands raised in an unsurprised "well, there ya go!" gesture toward the woman now sitting up in the bed, oblivious of her own nudity, focused solely on making him *feel* the truth and acceptance in her. She clearly had trepidations, but she truly meant everything she said and her sincerity tasted of cool peppermint and vanilla on his tongue, reminding him of her scent when he knew he was showing her something new and perhaps a little depraved like sugared vanilla in the heat.

Evangeline rose to leave them, but Gwen moved swiftly from the bed and across the space, taking her hand and causing Ev to stand still. "You don't have to go." It was soft, hesitant, and a little afraid.

Evangeline paused and took a deep breath. "Oh, I don't know if that is a good idea." She turned and regarded her near-twin. "I mean... that might be too weird even for me."

Gwen grinned. "You don't have to *do* anything. But I know you love a good show." A wicked glint caught in her eyes, and her gaze never felt Evangeline's as she asked Lucifer over her shoulder. "What do you think, Luci? In the mood to give my near-sister a show?"

Still a little shell shocked at how smoothly this had evolved from what he had been so certain would end this dream for him, Lucifer wasn't entirely quick with his verbal response, but the reaction of his body was quite clear without a vociferous validation. Seeing that her back was to him, he did speak and when he did, Ev's gaze swept him from head to toe, over Gwen's shoulder, still clad in the suit he'd donned today, but the expensive fabric did nothing to hide the firm length of his body even as it strained behind the ebony silk blend, which still showed evidence of Gwendolyn's wet heat as she's ground her nude body over him as he kissed her earlier. When their gazes locked, he swallowed and forced himself not to get *too* excited -- while it might arouse the fuck out of him to imagine these two locked in an intensely sexual scene, it was obvious Evangeline wasn't certain how she felt about that and he didn't want to press her. But he *was* certain he could make a game of it that would entertain her, and he knew it would be a game that Gwen would be happy to assist with, because she loved to be on display. This was... different... but also completely natural feeling.

"I know we can make it worth the price of admission." Lucifer said, his lips forming that knowing, razor smile she knew so well, one promising illicit things.

"And what is that?" Ev asked, quick to catch the hidden messages possible in his words. "The price?"

"You wound me," Lucifer responded hand clutching his breast beneath his crimson tie. "To the quick. For you, merely your undivided attention."

"Sounds like a 5 cent carnival hootchie dance number is the best you can expect then," Gwen said with an eye roll and a grin.

Suddenly they were like sisters, Evangeline swiveling her gaze at the barbed joke, and responding in kind: "*I* am not the one with clear ADD that presents like a crow with shiney objects! At least my undivided attention lasts! You get distracted by the change of lighting in a room. Surely that is worth more than five cents!" After a moment, they both stopped and then a moment later, laughed.

Evangeline begrudgingly hugged Gwen. "It is nice to do this. Just this." And for once, Lucifer didn't think about anything sexual as he merely enjoyed the sight of them holding on to one another, neither at all fazed by Gwen's nudity, doing the one thing they had never really been able to do before... simply hold one another in love and gratitude shaped over so many decades of shared suffering. Simply hold one another and silently say "thank you".

He didn't know if they would stay together, if there was a way other than Michael's blade to separate them. But he did know no matter what their path, he meant to walk beside them both on it. He knew often times there would be others walking with them. Because they both needed those others. Gwen especially. And he felt... shockingly accepting of it.

He thought about what he had told Brigid, but if he was honest with himself... they had already stolen his soul. One with her kindness and faith, the other with her steadfast calm certainty of him. Maybe it wasn't perfect... maybe it was.

One thing he did know was this:

Loving them. That was definitely worth the price of admission.

THE END... for now. 😉