I Love Red Ch. 03

There was something about Richard that I couldn't put my finger on. Getting information out of him was like trying to get water out of a rock. Yes, I had wanted to take my time and feel him out, but it was too difficult. He was tight-lipped and would turn the conversation back to me so much that I felt I was becoming conceited. We only talked about about myself.

From what I could gather, Richard was charismatic and seemed to have his shit together: two things that I wanted from my future husband. However, he would have moments of possessiveness and jealousy that he would explain away as his 'deep adoration and affection for me.' I hate to admit it, but I had never had a man display his emotions for me so openly, so I found it flattering.

However, that was the tip of the iceberg. He showed an immediate disdain for Lilith and Caleb. I began to notice his "problem" with them in November; a month after we started dating. It was the twin's birthday month, and they had invited me on their Norway birthday trip. However, I was too busy with the holiday season. Instead, we had a dinner before they left.

I told Richard about the dinner while we hung out at my place. Immediately, his face fell.

"You're going to dinner with Caleb?" he asked.

"No, I'm going to dinner with Caleb and Lilith for their birthday," I responded.

He did not look happy. "Why do you have to spend so much time with them? They're adults with lives just as much as you are," he angrily stated.

"Lilith is my best friend and Caleb is her brother. I haven't been able to see her often because of our schedules, and I don't hang out with Caleb unless Lilith is there. I don't see what the problem is," I said.

Richard glared at me, "The problem is, they are weird. What guy becomes friends with his sister's best friend? Don't you think it's odd Caleb is going to be there? Why can't y'all do a girls' night for her birthday?"

"It's not weird for Caleb and me to be cordial," I countered, "I've spent so much time over there, he's become part of the group and those two are very close. They've always been. I really don't see why you have such an issue with me going to dinner with them. It's not like I agreed to go with them to Norway."

"Oh, so they invited you to fucking Norway? When were you going to tell me?" he suddenly yelled.

I was taken aback. Richard had never raised his voice or cursed at me. "Don't you fucking cuss at me, Richard! If I wanted to go to fucking Norway with my best friend and her brother, I would go to fucking Norway. However, I can't because I'm so busy with the holidays. So, no, I didn't think it was important to tell you," I retorted.

Richard gave me a pensive look before he seemed to calm himself down.

"You're right, I am overreacting. I'm sorry for cursing at you baby. Forgive me?" he pleaded and pulled me into an embrace with a kiss on my forehead. His mood had done a 180. The sudden flip took me for a turn.

"Uh uh. Nope. You don't get to yell at me and then try to get all cutesy," I said as I tried to shrug him off.

"Come on, baby. I'm sorry. Okay? I promise I won't lose my temper again. I just want my girl to myself. You know?" He said as he nibbled on my ear. I stupidly giggled and, unfortunately, gave in. The reality was I should have ended things there. I should have told him to go fuck himself and went to Norway and had a great time with the closest people in my life. But, I didn't.

I wanted to try something different from Richard and wait until we were an official couple to have sex. I felt waiting would make him respect me and make him see me as more than a sexual object to be used and thrown away, as previous guys would "lose interest" as soon as they came. So, trying to practice healthy communication and speaking my mind, I told him just that. He said, "You're already mine, but if the title is what you want, you'll get it."

It took 90 days for Richard to ask me to be his girlfriend. Despite the attention and affection he showed me, I felt that those 90 days were a trial run, a test to see how much I was willing to be without before he deemed me "worthy."

Richard asked me to be his girlfriend by bringing me to the restaurant where we had our first date. I glanced over at him, wary, and he had an excited look. That night started a million times better than our first. I wore a brown turtle neck minidress with my favorite knee-high black boots, staple jewelry, and my go-to black trench coat. I wore my hair naturally, in the afro style he liked, and wore minimal makeup. He looked handsome, as usual: black sweater with slim jeans, gold chain, black Air Force One's, and a fresh haircut.

We sat at the same table and ordered the same thing we did on the first date.

"Deja vu, huh," I joked.

He looked at me with a serious look, "Hopefully not the rest of the night."

"Yeah, hope not," I replied.

We ate in semi-comfortable silence, occasionally commenting on the food, updating on our day, random small talk. I began to relax as the night went on. Near the end of our meal, he called the waitress over and whispered something into her ear. I scrolled through my notifications, trying not to read his lips too hard. The waitress smiled, nodded her head, and walked away. I looked up to find Richard looking at me with a hopeful smile.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"Everything is perfect," he quickly said.

The next thing I know, the waitress is placing a plate of tiramisu in front of me with the question, 'Will you be my girlfriend?' piped on the plate in chocolate frosting. I can't say I was shocked, but I was uncomfortable. I hated public gestures like this. I glanced at Richard. He wore a huge grin and reached his hand out to hold mine. I looked at our joined hands, then back to him.

"So, will you?" he implored.

My spirit-man immediately yelled 'NO'. The word reverberated around my skull. It was so loud I thought Richard could hear it. I was nervous and tense. His hand tightened on mine as I continued to look at him. Finally, I said, "Of course, baby," and leaned over the table to kiss him. I knew I was making a mistake.

He drove us back to my place. Since he had asked me to be his girlfriend, I thought tonight was going to be the night we had sex. However, I was still a little uncomfortable with the public display. So, I decided I needed to just get it over with and have sex with him. Maybe that wasn't the best headspace to go into sex with, but I needed to do it to make myself believe I could make this work.

As soon as we parked at my apartment, Richard's hands were reaching towards me. He leaned over the console to grab the back of my head and bring me in for a kiss. His fingers tangled in the curls on the nape of my neck. I let him pull me towards him and our lips met. Our mouths pressed into each other, his lips were hard and unyielding. His tongue pressed against the seam of my lips, trying to force his way in. I ignored it and continued with the makeout, slipping my hands over his shoulders. His tongue pressed again and I relented, allowing it to enter my mouth and duel with my own. The smacking noises were loud in the quiet car. He sat his hand on my knee and ran it up my thigh. When he reached the hem of my dress, he pushed further, attempting to wedge his hand between my thighs and touch my sex. I put my hand on his to still it, not breaking the kiss. He attempted, again, before calming and moving his hand to my knee. When I relaxed, he went full throttle, shoving his hand up my dress.

I quickly pulled back. "Hey! Chill out!" I said while moving his hand. "If you want to do more, then let's go inside. You don't want to get put on a list for public indecency? Do you?" I asked.

"Yeah, baby. Let's go in your place," he said with a heavy look.

We got out of the car and he practically ran up the stairs to my front door. I took a little longer, trying to build up the courage for what lay ahead of me. I got to my front door and began to unlock it. Richard stood directly behind me, his erection pressing into my bottom.

As soon as I unlocked it, Richard impatiently pushed the door open from behind me. He steered me into the entryway and quickly took off his coat and shoes. Slowly, I followed suit. He sat on my couch and waited for me to walk over. When I sat down, he reached for me again, pushing me onto my back. He climbed atop me and we began kissing, him settling in between my parted legs.

Our tongues fought and our teeth scraped as neither of us was willing to submit. His hands went to my hair again, aiming to hold my head in place. He began to grind into me, his jean-clad erection pressing directly into the lacy thong I had on. I could feel my slowly leaking from the friction. I loudly moaned, which caused him to press harder into me.

One of his hands moved from my hair and groped its way to my thigh. As his hand pushed my dress up, he kissed his way down the side of my neck. My neck was one of my erogenous zones and I held in my annoyance when he stopped where the collar of the dress was and kissed me on the mouth, again.

sat up and pulled my dress off, leaving me in just my matching red lacy bra and thong. He grasped my breasts in both hands and leaned down to kiss my chest and the tops of my breasts. He took my bra off and threw it over the side of the couch. I did the rest of the work for him and took my thong off. Then, he took his shirt and belt off. I had seen his naked chest in pictures before, so I was unsurprised by the sheer volume of muscle and etched abs.

"You like what you see?" he asked in a sexy voice.

"Yeah," I breathed with a lick of my lips.

He captured my lips again and pushed me back to lean on the arm of the couch. He kissed my lips a final time before journeying down to my breasts, stopping to kiss each nipple, and further to the soft roundness of my belly. His tongue dipped into my belly button for a second before continuing south. I could feel the heat building in my neck and nether region as he got closer to my honey pot. He parted my legs further putting one over each shoulder. I waited with bated breath.

A cold tongue licked from my asshole to the top of my clit. He parted my lips and pushed them back, exposing my growing bud. He pointed his tongue and swirled it around my clit. Then, he pulled back and blew on it. I shivered and let out a small whimper. I was quickly changing my mind about sex with him. He let go of my lips and used one hand to stroke the top of my clit in slow circles. He slowly penetrated me with the pointer and middle fingers of his other hand. His fingers crooked up, finding my G-spot. I grunted at the feeling. It had been many months since I had had sex, and I missed the penetration.

"You like this?" Richard asked me. "You'll love it soon."

I groaned in response. Richard began to like my clit, again, placing long strokes against it. His fingers began to firmly thrust into my needy pussy. He earnestly finger fucked me, causing my juices to grow and drip out of me. He moaned into my pussy.

I was quickly approaching orgasm. He continued moaning as he sucked on my clit. The added vibration was making me buzz. I could feel my vagina start to contract, the movement pushing his fingers out. He did not let up.

"Richard, I'm gonna cum," I breathed. He sped up trying to force it out of me. Then, he completely stopped. I yelped in surprise.

"What the fuck?" I asked breathing heavily and on the precipice of orgasm. I tried to finish myself off, but he grabbed my hands.

"If you're gonna cum, it's gonna be on my dick," He said with a growl. He took off his belt and slid his pants and underwear down and off his legs. His erection jutted out between his legs. He was about 7 inches long, but was a little skinnier, girth-wise. His shaft was smooth and the same dark honey color as the rest of his body and his bulbous head was a deep rose color. He pulled a condom out of his discarded wallet and rolled it on. I pushed myself flush with the back couch cushions.

I pushed myself flush with the back couch cushions. I was very nervous about this part, which is why I wanted to orgasm so badly from the head. Richard was very braggadocious about his sexual prowess and had promised me "a night I would never forget."

He came forward, coming into a squat. He grabbed me under my knees and pulled me forward. His cock lined up with my quivering entrance and he surged forward. We both gasped.

He moved in closer, folding me into the couch. In this position, I was sure to cum. He gripped the back of the couch and began to thrust faster. I moaned as I bounced on the couch. He sped up until he began to jackhammer into me. I tried to match his thrusts, but he was going too fast. He suddenly pulled out and moved me so I was on my hands and knees. He pistoned into me from below. Again, I tried to match his thrusts and thrust back, but he was too far gone.

Richard grunted and groaned into my neck. I attempted to reach him for a kiss, but he pushed my head down onto the couch in an attempt to deepen my arch. Despite the speed, I started to build up into orgasm. The room was filled with the sounds of his grunting, my groaning, and the slaps of his hips as they met my fleshy ass. In the position we were in, he kept missing that spot that would set me off. So, I decided to help him and reached under to rub at my clit. Again, he stopped me.

"Don't touch my pussy," he said, leaning over me and pinning that hand to the floor with his. Richard continued to grunt and groan over me. The energy in the room changed. I started to get rug burns on my knees from the friction. It became uncomfortable as he continued to thrust furiously and I started to dry up with the repetitive movement. I closed my eyes and waited on him to continue rutting so he could cum. I wished he had let me give him head so he could cum faster.

My vagina started to hurt. The dryness created a burning and my body clenched to push him out. I guess he could feel me starting to flinch away from his strokes, as I felt his fingers start to rub my clit in hard circles. Immediately, I felt a rush of renewed wetness, and relief in my parched lips. This time, though, I couldn't get into it like I had before. My mind started to wander as my orgasm sat dormant. In my head, the forbidden object of my desires popped up Caleb Vatore.

In my head, Caleb became the man thrusting behind me and I relaxed more. Imagination Caleb was slowly stroking into me, making sure to angle down to hit my g-spot over and over again. Caleb would tenderly kiss up my back and make love to my mouth as he fucked me. I whimpered at the idea, fully thrusting back. I grasped my breasts with one hand, kneading them in the way I would imagine Caleb doing. Richard continued to rub my clit and I saw Caleb's hand instead. Soon, I was cumming.

I could feel Richard's thrusts getting shorter and his grunts getting longer. He would blow soon. I moved my hips faster in his hands, working towards my orgasm. Finally, I came. I bit my lip to avoid yelling out Caleb's name. My orgasm spurred Richard's and he came almost immediately after, his hips pushing harshly into my bottom. He dropped back on his heels, releasing me and I collapsed onto the couch. We were breathing heavily. The room was scented with sweat and sex.

I was painfully sore, and guilty. Again, I came thinking about Caleb. But, this was worse; I was actually with Richard. I quickly excused myself to the bathroom, picking up my phone along the way. I went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I sat on the toilet and began to text Lilith as I used the bathroom.

Me: 'Girl....'

Lilith: 'Yes? How did your date go? Did he ask you?'

Me: 'Yeah he asked me'

Lilith: 'Aaaaaaand?'

Me: 'I said yes ofc'

Lilith: 'Can't say I'm not a little disappointed, but if ur happy I'm happy :)'

Me: 'lol ik....'

Lilith: 'What else is going on? Is he there? Did y'all seal the deal?'

Me: '...'

Lilith: 'OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!! How was it?'

Me: 'The head was good lmao'

Lilith: 'What about the other stuff?'

Me: '....leaves much to be desired but I did nut twice so'

Lilith: I'm sure that'll get better with time...if he's able to make you nut then there's nothing to worry about babes'

Me: 'Yeah ik...'

Lilith: 'Don't worry about it, go back to your man and I'll ttyl... love u!'

Me: 'Love you too...gn'

I finished up in the bathroom and returned to the living room to find Richard drinking a glass of water under the throw blanket I kept on my couch.

"About time you came back. I'm gonna go piss," he said and went to the bathroom. I sat on the couch and stared into space. I couldn't get over the fact Caleb popped up, again, during an intimate moment. It was so frustrating that I had this stupid crush on him.

I scrolled through my contacts as I waited for Richard to come out of the bathroom. From the sounds of the video on his phone and the small grunts I heard, he was going to be a minute. I came across a contact on my phone that I only used once: Caleb Vatore.

I nibbled on my lip, my thumb hovering over the 'Text' option. I stared at it for another minute. I looked behind me, towards the bathroom. Then, I clicked on it.

Me: 'Hi"

I sent the message and then threw my phone on the other side of the couch. To prevent myself from checking if he texted me back, I got up to grab some chips and then turned the TV on. I couldn't say what was on the TV. I stared at the moving shapes and colors with the laugh track. I felt more than heard my phone buzz. I looked over my shoulder, again, before diving for my phone.

Caleb: 'Good evening, Gem'

I could hear the text message in his voice. The particular way he would say 'Good evening' and the look on his face as he said it. I held the phone, staring at the text. Another one came up.

Caleb: 'How are you? It's pretty late'

Me: 'I'm well! And yeah ik it's late but I'm up...bored'

I felt so bad saying I was "bored," but I couldn't tell him the truth.

Caleb: 'Well if you're so bored...do something. I think there's a poetry book or two you would enjoy ripping up'

I had flashbacks from the study.

Me: 'Lol ikr. Those books in your library aren't safe'

Caleb; 'I have a state-of-the-art security system but you're so devilish you might be able to slip past lol'

Me: 'Devilish? Whatever do you mean? I'm an angel'

Caleb: 'You're more than meets the eye...but you've definitely been an angel to me'

I stared at his words, blushing at the compliment.

Me: 'Have I really? I haven't felt like much of one recently'

Caleb: 'What's wrong? Have you talked to Lilith about it?'

Me: 'I've mentioned it in passing but I didn't get too deep into it tho'

Caleb: 'You should come over tomorrow and have a night in with Lilith. I can be your personal entertainment for the night :)'

I read and re-read his message. "Your personal entertainment for the night." I'm sure he meant entertainment for me and Lilith. I waited for him to send a text correcting himself, but it never came.

Caleb: 'Gem, you there?'

Me: 'Yeah I was responding to Gina about a launch'

Me: 'I would come over tomorrow but I'm working on candles and cleaning the apartment up'

Me: 'I'll come over next weekend and spend the night with my favorite twins'

Caleb: 'You know I always look forward to seeing you in all your glory'

Caleb: 'I'm going to go to bed now, I have to get ready for a meeting tomorrow'

Me: 'Oh okay I'll let you go then. Sweet dreams Caleb'

Caleb: 'Sweet dreams Gem. Call and text me anytime'

I read his texts with a warm feeling growing in my chest. I felt a smile playing on my lips. The smile fell from my lips as I felt a single run down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. I sat on my couch, naked, cold, and lonely. I wanted to be cuddled and kissed; bask in the afterglow of a session of lovemaking. Instead, I sat on my couch listening to my boyfriend shit in the bathroom. I padded to my kitchen to get a glass of water, the tears starting to flow freely. They came faster than I could wipe them away.