I Need to Process This Ch. 04

I started to speak but she put her hand gently over my mouth. "No, Davie, please let me speak."

She looked searchingly into my face, so I took hold of her hand, kissed it, and said, "OK, darling. You speak. How is it all your fault?"

She held my hand in both of hers and spoke in a very quiet voice. "I told you, when we started, you know, messing about, I told you that it felt good to have someone find me attractive. Made me feel sexy. I've not felt like that for a long time, not for years. Nobody ever said I turned them on. I was just part of the furniture. You made me feel good about myself, and I liked it."

She let go of my hands and with the backs if her hands she wiped away the tears streaming down her face before looking at me. "I thought at first it was just going to be a bit of fun, a nice way for us to get over our childhood, to be close. Be friends."

She gave a shuddering sob before continuing, "I thought we could do that, but it just got more and more... like it took on a life of its own. And I loved it, everything, all of it. I loved making you cum, I loved sucking you, and I loved it even more when you made me cum. Honestly, Davie, when you, you know, kissed me down there, it gave me feelings that I'd never had before... ever."

I picked up her hand and kissed it again. "If it's any consolation Mel, it gave me feelings I'd never had either."

"Yeah, well." She paused, then looked at me. "Even then I thought I was still in control. But last Sunday when you were, you know, inside me and we were, you know, fucking, I felt I'd completely lost control of everything... I was scared. And I was ashamed. Ashamed because I liked it... liked feeling you there, inside me, filling me. That's why I shouted at you and blamed you and hit you. I blamed you for everything. I always blame you, Davie. And I know I hurt you, like I always have. I'm so sorry, so ashamed."

She buried her face in her hands, sobbing her heart out and shaking her head. "Why do I always blame you, Davie? Why do I always hurt you? You're so kind to me and nice and lovely, and I always hurt you. Oh Davie, what am I going to do?"

I pulled her into my shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "No need to do anything, darling Mel." I paused for a moment. "Well, you could stop talking bullshit. But apart from that"

She tensed against me and looked up.

"And no need to look at me like that, big sister," I continued. "I think you are amazing, wonderful, clever and all that good stuff. But saying that everything that happened between us was all down to you is, well, like I said, it's bullshit."

She pulled away, shaking her head, and I pulled her back to me, speaking intently. "Listen, Mel, here's the deal. All this started in that Italian restaurant, the first time, when I told you I got a boner when I hugged you in the kitchen at Mum's house. Christ knows why I said it. Maybe because you'd asked if I was gay. And then I told you how I thought about you whenever I had a wank. If I'd kept my mouth shut, none of this would have happened. None of it. I'm glad I did tell you though, and I'm glad about everything that's happened since, apart from, well, being inside you last Sunday. But it's absolutely not your fault. OK?"

She shook her head. "But I told you, I liked what you said about, you know, wanking, and I liked it that you found me sexy. I shouldn't have done that, because you're my brother and I'm your sister. I liked what we did, and I led the way. And now I can't stop thinking about it, about you. I need to process it but I can't. I want us to go back to how we were last week and doing what we did then. And it's so wrong."

She buried her head on my shoulder, and I pulled her close. She was still sobbing, and between gulps of breath she said, "You're my brother, and it's incest and we both know it is, but I can't stop thinking about you that way."

She sat up and wiped her face with both hands, smearing great streaks of mascara over her cheeks. "Please, can we go to bed together? Now? Please?"

For a moment I couldn't speak.

"Yeah. Well. Yeah, of course we can. If you're sure."

"Yes, I'm sure, Davie, really sure. It's all I've thought about this week, all I've thought about yesterday and today. All week, ever since last Sunday, I can't stop thinking about you being inside me." She shook her head as if to banish the thought. "I even thought about it when you were making your speech this afternoon at the funeral."

I laughed at that, but she grabbed my hand and looked at me imploringly. "Please. I mean it, Davie. Please, don't laugh. I want you to fuck me. I do. I want you inside me, just this once. I know I said no fucking, but I can't stop thinking about it, about you being inside me, and how good it felt, and I want it again. Just once. Please? Please fuck me. Then I'll go back to my room, OK? Just fuck me once is all I want... then I'll go."

Her face was wrecked, black blotches all over her face, eyes red with crying. I put my hand up and gently stroked the side of her head.

"No, my darling Mel, I promised I wouldn't fuck you, and I meant it." She shook her head and more tears came. I smiled and said quietly, "But I would like to make love to you, if you'll let me. I really do want to do that."

I stood and held out my hand. "Come, let's go to bed."

We stood facing one another, and I took her face gently in my hands and kissed her softly on the lips. "But the rules are still the same, Mel. Your pace. If you want me to stop, I will. OK? Just say the word."

She nodded. "I need to have a shower," she said quietly.

"OK, I'll have one after you."

She looked down at the floor and almost whispered, "We can take a shower together if you'd like. Would you? I'd like it if you would."

I took her in my arms and kissed her again, then started to undress her. It felt almost like a religious ritual, an act of worship, as I lifted her shirt over her head and slowly undid her jeans. Unspeaking, she nodded and undid my shirt, pulling it over my shoulders and stroking my chest with a slight, wide-eyed smile on her face, almost as if it were the first time she had seen me like that.

I rolled her jeans down and knelt to pull them over her feet, taking her shoes and socks with them. My heart was beating like a jackhammer. I kissed her pussy through her pure white panties before sliding them down, but as I did so Mel put her hands on my head and urged me to stand.

She pulled my face towards hers and kissed me deeply as she unzipped my fly and slid her hand into my jeans. The touch of her soft hands was electric as she pushed down my jeans and then my shorts. At the same time, I reached behind her and undid her white bra, releasing her lovely full breasts into my hands. She was so fucking beautiful it almost hurt to breathe and I bent to kiss her hard, pink nipples.

I was completely naked now, and Mel gripped my cock, firmly but softly, closing her eyes and shuddering slightly. "I thought I would never hold you again, Davie," she said. "I love your hardness."

Suddenly, she dropped to her knees and slid my cock in her mouth. I looked down, and the sight of my naked sister sucking me was almost unbearable. Her head moved slowly, and she looked up at me, murmuring quietly. Almost immediately I felt myself coming to a climax and pulled her away from me.

"Mel, baby, please stop. I'm going to shoot in a minute and I don't want to do that. Not yet." I picked her up to her feet, and again kissed her before taking her by the hand and walking with her into the bathroom with its big walk-in shower.

We stood close as the warm water tumbled over us, and Mel reached for the shower cream, pumping it into her hands and lathering it first onto my chest and then my back. I took the bottle from Mel and repeated the process on her, sliding my hands over her breasts and her stomach, then round to her back and her firm, muscular buttocks.

She grabbed the bottle in turn and soaped my cock and my balls, then between my legs while I washed her pussy and thighs. Everything was slow, gentle, loving and incredibly erotic. I could scarcely breathe with excitement at the thought I was going to make love to my darling sister. I gently cleaned Mel's face of the mascara streaks then pulled her to me and kissed her. She ran her hands over me and over herself, rinsing off the foam until we were both clean. Mel gave her shy smile and nodded. I nodded back, turning off the water.

One of the great things about old-fashioned hotels like the Midland is that they have really big, fluffy towels, and I wrapped Mel and me in one of them, holding our wet bodies close as I did. Gently and with infinite care, we dried each other, then walked back into the bedroom, hand-in-hand.

As we stood next to the bed, I held her close and, to be sure, asked again if she was OK. Her answer was to put her arms round my neck and pull my face down to hers down, kissing me passionately and running her hands down to my cock.

Again, I held her hand to stop her from doing too much -- I really was very close -- and I eased her gently onto the bed, kissing her all the while, then moved slowly down her body. She smelled lovely, as she always did, and I breathed in deeply. She moved her legs wide apart and I slid my tongue down there, spreading her pussy lips and nibbling her clitoris as she moaned quietly. I thought I'd never do that again either, and coming back to her felt utterly wonderful.

I went down further, kissing the insides of her thighs, then moved up, stopping again between her legs, then pushing her thighs higher so that I could fully reach her pussy. I brought up my right hand, opened her labia with my fingers, and slipped in my tongue as far as it would go. With my left hand I stroked her belly and reached up to her breasts, tweaking the nipples between finger and thumb.

I had just enough awareness to think that this was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me, and I wondered when I would wake up and realise it was all a dream. Then Mel moved against me, urgently, reminding me that this was glorious reality. She was moaning softly, humming almost, stroking my head, and pushing her pussy against my mouth.

Suddenly, without warning, she climaxed, her belly going into a spasm, her whole body shaking as her legs shot out straight and she clenched my head between her thighs. Slowly, very slowly, she subsided, and I gently licked her still-hard clitoris, causing her to quiver repeatedly.

I worked my way back up her body. I loved the fact that I was becoming familiar with all of her shapes and hollows, her gently rounded stomach, the flatness between her breasts, her pink nipples. I took my time, but eventually I reached her lovely face. She had a slightly glazed smile on her face.

"You make me feel wonderful, Davie."

"You are wonderful, Mel."

She opened her legs and moved against me. My cock was hard as a rock, and I could feel the head of it pressing against her hot, wet pussy. I kissed her gently.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

She looked at me and nodded. "Yes, Davie, I'm sure. I'm scared, a bit, and I know it's crossing a line. But I'm excited as well, and I want you inside me. Please."

"OK, but like I said, if you want me to stop at any time, just say so. Yes?"

She reached up and pulled my face to hers, then kissed me delicately on the lips. "Thanks, Davie, but it's good. It feels so good. It feels right."

She moved slightly and so did I, and the head of my cock slid into her, so slowly and oh so-very-gently.

She gasped slightly, so I stopped and said, "Sorry darling. Did it hurt?"

Mel smiled and shook her head. "No, darling Davie. It's lovely. Just that it's been a while. A long time. Years." She gave a happy, gurgling laugh. "Apart from last Sunday, and that doesn't count, does it? It's lovely," she repeated. "Please don't stop."

She was hot and wet and soft, but tight, and I pushed myself forward slightly, watching her face. Her eyes were glazed, her lips parted, her tongue flicking in and out. Then she moved some more, closing her eyes and pulling me further into her. She whimpered quietly, shook her head, and pushed down hard. I was deep inside her now, her heat and soft wetness gripping my cock, and I started moving rhythmically.

Our movements synchronised as she lifted her belly up against mine and wrapped her legs round me. I held myself up on straight arms so that I could look down on her. She was now staring up at me, nodding, her jaws clenched together, her hands clasped on my upper arms.

I'm not sure how long it lasted, but slowly I felt her building to another climax, her whole body shuddering and quaking. I moved faster, and just as I felt my own orgasm coming, she erupted like a volcano, grinding her pussy hard against my pelvic bone. Almost immediately I shot my load of cum into her as she pulled my face down, kissing and licking me, shaking her head and almost growling in ecstasy.

I nearly lost her, but I held on tight and stayed inside her as we both enjoyed the slowly subsiding after-shocks. Eventually we slowed to a stop, and I kissed Mel gently on the lips. As I slipped out of her, I told her that I loved her. She smiled up at me.

"I know you do. I love you too, Davie," she said, slightly panting. "I know it's wrong, but you make me feel wonderful."

I eased myself down alongside her and kissed her again. "You make me feel wonderful as well," I said. "That was absolutely beautiful."

"Mmm, it was. And you're right -- making love is much better than fucking. Even if it was incest with my lovely brother." She stroked my face and whispered, "I feel lovely and sleepy. Do you mind that I'm sleepy? I've not been sleeping too well." She paused and frowned slightly. "Can I stay here tonight, with you? Please?"

I kissed her and said with a smile, "I think that might just be possible. I do love you. Let's adopt the spoony position!" I turned away from her and she wrapped her arms around me.

I felt the weight of her breasts on my back and her thighs against mine as she kissed me between my shoulders, just like before. "Much better than fucking," she murmured. "I feel completely loved-up." Almost immediately she drifted off to sleep, as her breathing grew deeper, and her arms became heavier.

It felt wonderful lying there, feeling my beautiful sister's body against mine, but I had my mind set on the future. Whatever else happened, I could not, would not, let her go, not now, not ever -- we'd come too far.

I'd talk to her in the morning about staying on another night, but it was the long term that bothered me. OK, so we only lived a couple of hundred miles apart, but I didn't think either of us would relish a four-hour journey to meet up. We had the house, of course, but even that was a hack. Better than nothing though.

I started to drift off to sleep, thinking about spending every weekend at the house, and it was a lovely thought: domestic bliss, going to bed together, waking up together, making love, sharing good times. Then I realised that I knew what we had to do. I almost woke Mel up to talk to her about it, but she was so warm against me that I decided to talk to her in the morning. We had time. We had all the time in the world. And we had each other.

I woke early with an overfull bladder, bursting for a pee. I lay there for a while, listening to the sound of Mel's breathing. It was slow, rhythmic and deep, and I guessed that she was still out of it. I slid quietly out of bed and quickly went to the bathroom to relieve myself. There's nothing quite like having a piss when your bladder is full, is there?

I quickly washed myself in the shower, brushed my teeth, dried off and sneaked back into bed. Mel was in the same position as I slid in alongside her, but she opened her eyes as soon as I lay down. She pulled the sheet up under her chin in a way that I was becoming familiar with, and grinned at me.

"You've got a lovely bum, Davie. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

I leaned forward and kissed her. "Not until now," I said with a smile.

She returned my kiss then reached up and put her hand over my eyes. "I need a pee as well, but no peeking. Promise?"

"Oh, definitely no peeking Mel. Promise."

She slid out of bed and scampered to the bathroom. As she did so, I said, "You've got a lovely bum as well."

I listened, smiling, to the sounds of her peeing then taking a shower, then cleaning her teeth.

She came quickly back to bed, and as she did so she said, "You were watching. You bad lad." She smiled and kissed me. "I love it when you look at my bum."

"Are you happy?" I asked. "You know, with where we are."

"Mmm yes," she said. "Very happy. Bit sad too, though."

"Why sad?" I asked.

"Well, you know, in a few hours we'll be checking out of the hotel and you'll be heading north and me south. Just a bit sad. When will we see each other again?" The sheet was back under her chin as she asked, and she was frowning slightly.

"Ah, I had a thought about that. Do you have to go back today?"

"Erm, no, not really. No," she said. "But don't you?"

"No. I can go tomorrow, or on Monday morning even, as long as I get back by lunchtime. That will work for me. What about you? Can you stay?"

"That would be wonderful if we could," she replied, so I grabbed the phone on the bedside table, rang reception and extended my booking. "So decisive," Mel said with a smile. "I love that."

We lay facing each other, looking into each other's eyes and I felt myself getting hard against her. I returned her kisses, but as I moved to hold her, she pushed me away slightly, giving me a serious look. It was another of the mannerisms I was getting used to -- and learning to love.

"You know, I don't think anybody ever made love to me. Not really. Not before you. I mean, no-one has been inside me for years, not since my operation. But even before that, it was only fucking, I think. Nobody ever made me feel like you do, so alive, so loved." She grinned. "Loved up. Tingling. Nobody really made love to me before. Ever."

She had tears in her eyes, and I leaned forwards to kiss them away.

"Well, maybe we should do it again, just to make sure you still like it."

I took her sweet face in my hands and kissed her gently. Her mouth opened and she gave one of her lovely moans and pushed her body against me. I kissed her neck, and her shoulder before reaching down for her hand and putting it to my lips.

"I love kissing you," I murmured. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of doing that."

She smiled happily and pulled my mouth to hers, pushing her tongue between my lips as she did. "I'm wet," she whispered, then took hold of my cock and rubbed it against her pussy to prove the point. With a quick movement she moved on top of me, sitting astride me, and moving the head of my cock against her open pussy.

She closed her eyes and moaned. "That feels so good." She smiled down at me. "Is it OK, me being on top?"

I nodded and moved against her. "Yes, of course. It feels wonderful, incredible. Heaven."

She shifted position slightly and held my cock as she slowly slid down on me. Then she put both hands on my shoulders, arms straight and she arched her back slightly and moaned as I filled her. Gently she moved back and forth, rocking her hips against me, rubbing her pussy against my pelvic bone and moving my cock inside her. She kept her eyes on me with that serious look, almost as if watching to see if everything was OK. I returned her gaze and smiled, and she bent down to kiss me gently on the lips. "I love making love to you, little brother. I really do."

All of my senses were focused on the feeling of my rock-hard cock inside her, and her wet warmth as she gripped me. I reached up to stroke her breasts, feasting my eyes, and she cupped my hands in hers, lifting her breasts up and arching her back. She threw her head back, shaking her waves of thick black hair. I took her nipples in the crook and forefinger of each hand and rubbed them gently as they got hard. Mel moaned with pleasure and squeezed my hands harder on her breasts.