I Once Had a Girl or Should I Say... She Once Had Me

Author's note: My first heartfelt thank-you goes out to Little Alison for her never ending encouragement and support. Without her, you would not be reading this story right now. My second heartfelt thank-you goes out to Viola Moon for her usual outstanding job of editing this story. Without her, you wouldn't enjoy this story as much.

As per usual, all characters are fictitious. And any characters engaging in sex are at least eighteen years of age.

I Once Had a Girl or

Should I Say She Once Had Me.

This improbable story gets complicated quickly, so I'll try to stick to the basics.

My name is Janet Miller, and I have a daughter named Dane. This story begins when my husband, Martin (Marty), was still alive.

I worked for many years as a line cook at a family-owned 'wanna-be' fancy restaurant. That may sound boring, but I credit that fast paced job for keeping my tall, full figured, mid-life body in decent shape. I mean, who needs a gym when you're on your feet and running around all day.

One day, a new waitress named Lisa joined our team. She was young and petite, with an hourglass figure. She had bright hazel eyes, thick shoulder length black hair, just cute as a button. Along with having a bubbly personality, Lisa was kind, enthusiastic and somehow always happy. She was the kind of person that you naturally wanted to be around.

My initial thought was that she would make a great friend for Dane, who was a year out of high school. Not that my daughter needed me to pick out her friends. It's just that I thought Lisa would fill the gaps in Dane's small circle of friends.

Lisa and I hit it off right away, even though I was twice her age. Me being forty-eight, and her twenty-four. We laughed often and she always got my 90s references. We connected on so many levels.

I guided Lisa in understanding how the cooks and the wait staff interacted back in the kitchen. I told her that we had a lot of fun and not to get offended, Dirty words, jokes and sarcasm were a constant occurrence.

Lisa came from one of those chain restaurants where, I'm sure, the environment was quite different. But she quickly adapted to our ways, telling dirty jokes right along with the rest of us. It was funny to see a wholesome faced girl like Lisa dropping F-bombs.

I told Dane one day what a nice person Lisa was and that I thought the two of them could be friends. Dane did not like that I was trying to 'fix her up' with a friend. In fact, she hated the idea.

When I mentioned to Marty how fun Lisa was, he said, "she sounds like a hoot." So we invited her over anyway. She came over the following Friday night for a few drinks.

Marty, Lisa, and I had an enjoyable evening laughing and drinking out on our large patio. Lisa was witty, entertaining, and you would have sworn she was our age the way she spoke about our similar interests.

Dane was upstairs in her bedroom in silent protest. Well, maybe not silent, she had a long distance boyfriend, Ed, whom she video chatted with often.

After several months of having a great time with Lisa every Friday, Dane finally came out of her self imposed exile and joined us. Within minutes, Dane was laughing along with us. Lisa's fun loving personality and infectious laughter was impossible to resist. Soon, every Friday night, the four of us were inseparable. Lisa was like a second daughter to me and Marty.

During the warm summer months we ended up going to a different ice-cream joint every Friday evening. Returning to our patio for a glass of wine afterwards. That's when Lisa started retelling stories from her not-so-long-ago teenage years.

She started by telling us that she was definitely daddy's little girl, and would do anything for her. But her mom was the controlling and demanding type. That's why, the day Lisa turned eighteen, she left her parents house and moved in with her best friend Nicki.

Lisa said, for the most part, she repaired her relationship with her mom, although there was some lingering resentment. Living separately helped, but her mom still wasn't the warm and fuzzy type. Unlike her dad who was.

I always felt a motherly connection with Lisa. So it was no surprise that when we went on those ice cream trips, Lisa would always sit next to me. When I mean 'next to' I mean hips, legs, arms and shoulders touching. I didn't mind. I just figured she was looking for the motherly love she never got from her own mother.

I have to say that I enjoyed the close, bare skin touching. Even on warm nights, I found the extra warmth of our connected bodies comforting and enjoyable. I felt loved. I missed that kind of attention from my own daughter.

Dane loved me for sure, but she was at that age where she needed to show that she didn't need her mother. Dane was trying to be independent, but with only a part time job at a pizza shop, and no ambition for college, she was stuck living with us. Don't get me wrong, I loved having Dane around. She was, however, struggling to find her way in life.

***********

Two years passed, and we continued to enjoy our fun-filled Friday nights. Lisa was practically one of the family at that point, and was often part of our birthday and holiday celebrations. Our 'mutually adopted' mother-daughter relationship strengthened over that period as well.

Lisa didn't date patrons or workers at the restaurant, (a great policy, don't get your honey where you make your money) so she used several dating apps.

Lisa's frequent dates became fodder for conversation most Friday nights. Lisa was anything but shy, so discussing her date's personality as well as his and sometimes her sexual prowess wasn't off limits. She often spilled naughty details about her experiences for entertainment purposes. Her promiscuity sounded so exciting, I found myself living vicariously through her.

One night, out on our patio, after a few glasses of wine. Lisa told us that she often double-dated with her best friend Nicki and her boyfriend. She showed us several pictures on her phone of the four of them out at a bar and having a great time. One picture was the typical best friend, big smiles, cheek to cheek pic of Lisa and Nicki. Another pic was with puckered lips, pretending to kiss each other.

I really don't know why I asked this question, probably too much wine. "Um Lisa, have you ever kissed a girl before?"

"Oh yeah, plenty of times. Just about every time we double date. Nicki and I love to kiss each other in front of our boyfriends because it drives them crazy!" She said proudly.

That was not the answer that I expected, and my wine soaked brain quickly came back with. "Is that the only reason?"

As soon as the words left my lips I knew that my question went too far. Marty's and Dane's stern look towards me confirmed it. Lisa's sly grin and squinty eyes looked directly at me. "I'll never tell." We all laughed it off and I never mentioned it again.

That night while laying in bed next to Marty, I couldn't get the image of Lisa kissing her best friend out of my head. It made me quite aroused. My tipsy brain wandered and I pictured Lisa and Nicki in a loving embrace, kissing passionately.

I found myself imagining Lisa's petite, naked, creamy white body, being touched everywhere by the taller, nude, blonde haired Nicki. I imagined Lisa making love to her best friend in a warm, loving way.

My hand made its way to my pussy while I continued visualizing the gentle lesbian fantasy of Lisa and Nicki. My breathing quickened, and I started lightly circling my clit while I pictured Lisa and Nicki in a loving yet passion filled sixty-nine.

They were gripped tightly to the other's warm body, moaning, licking and enjoying each other's pussy with reckless abandon. My mind imagined their youthful enthusiasm taking each other to new heights of sexual bliss. Finally my mind's eye saw each one of them twitching and screaming "fuck" as their all consuming orgasms ran through them.

Then it was my turn. My eyes tightened, my toes curled, and my legs closed tightly. Waves of tingles rippled across my skin. I experienced a marvelous orgasm of my own, barely stifling my own whimpers and moans by biting my knuckle.

Now you might wonder why Marty didn't hear me, or feel the bed moving. Well, the man sleeps like a rock, especially after a few drinks. I swear he wouldn't wake up if a truck hit the house. He also wears an eye mask and ear plugs. A leftover habit from when he used to work third shift.

As I laid there in my post orgasmic bliss, I wondered why my fantasy brain made me think of Lisa and Nicki. I've masturbated to images of two women making love before. I think every woman has at some point, but this particular fantasy was far more vivid than the others. I dismissed it as not being an issue. It was just a fantasy I told myself.

It didn't take long before those thoughts weaved their way into my daily life. I often caught myself daydreaming about Lisa and I making love. Each time, I imagined our sexual interlude going a little further. It wasn't long before I was masturbating every day in the shower to images of my lips pressed tightly to Lisa's. Our hands eagerly gliding over our willing bodies. Then finally, using our fingers, we brought each other to the heights of a trembling orgasm.

Soon, even at work, I fantasized about Lisa. Her cute dimpled smile and bright sparkling eyes was all it took for me to imagine us together. In my mind, her clothes melted off her young body while my hands glided over her smooth sensual curves. My pulse would race and I would quickly feel hot in an already warm kitchen. Finally, a noise somewhere, would jolt me out of my sexy daydream. I asked myself, should a fifty year old straight woman be having sexual fantasies about a twenty-eight year old girl?

I knew the answer... It was yes.

Let me backup a bit... I never romantically kissed another woman. I never had one of those girl-on-girl experiences that some women talk about. You know the one, where they describe a drunk passionate kiss or drunk sexual encounter with their best friend or college roommate.

But I almost had one with my study buddy, Cleo, back in the day. We both struggled with college level math and often studied together in the library. I don't know what it is about college that makes some girls want to experiment, but many did.

There were the obvious ones, the girls that just didn't care who knew. Then there were those that tried to hide it, but I noticed them. They were easy to spot. I just had to look for the girls that gazed at each other almost constantly.

One day, I just happened to be sitting where I could get a perfect view of their hands roaming over each other's thighs under the library's large sturdy tables. They would try to hide their excitement by acting as if they were seriously studying some book together. I often smiled to myself as I watched their hands slip in between each other's legs. I nudged Cleo then nodded in their direction. Cleo would notice the same thing I did, then we'd giggle to ourselves.

I felt very close to Cleo and often daydreamed about her and I becoming one of those secret couples. I regularly fantasized about us eagerly kissing in some secluded area. I know I gave off the vibe that I wanted to experiment, she just never picked up on it. Or if she did, she didn't want to act on it.

Now, I realized how badly I would have loved to have one of those early kissing-a-girl experiences. After all the fantasizing I've been doing about Lisa lately. I found myself entertaining the idea of making love to another woman. And that gave me a thousand butterflies in my stomach.

It was around that same time that Marty got a new job, which required him to start work at 4am. Dane's long distance boyfriend, Ed, returned from his military deployment overseas, resulting in her spending most of her time at his place. And, since bad news comes in threes, Lisa found a nice guy, Miguel, a hard working immigrant contractor and spent a lot of time with him.

It wasn't all bad I guess. Lisa still made time to come over every-other Friday night. And since Marty went to bed early and Dane was out with Ed. That left just me and Lisa to keep the Friday night tradition going.

We went to the ice cream shops like before, only this time she looped our arms together while we ate ice-cream. It was a wonderful expression of her daughter-mother loving affection for me. Her tenderhearted touch gave me goosebumps. I also noticed her fragrance this time. The light, airy, Jasmine and vanilla scent brought me back to my youth.

Our closeness often stirred up those enjoyable butterflies in my stomach. Kissing Lising Lisa's young sensuous lips would flash in my mind for one second then disappear. My pulse would quicken and my palms would get sweaty. I couldn't believe my body was acting this way.

After our trip to the ice cream shop, we came back to a quiet house for a glass or two of wine. Similar to what we usually did when we first started the tradition. But now, it was just me and Lisa sipping wine in the corner of my L-shaped kitchen rather than the patio.

Like many couples that have been married for over twenty five years, Marty and I drifted apart. Our sex life had faded to just a few times a year. Maybe because it became boring. Maybe it was because we just didn't care anymore. And now, Marty going to bed at 7pm, meant our sex life would be almost non-existent.

If it wasn't for my daily shower masturbation session fantasizing about Lisa, I wouldn't have a sex life. Of course, I couldn't mention that to her, so I let most of our conversation center on HER spicy sex life. Lisa somehow felt extremely comfortable sharing her most intimate sexual details.

Like how the excitement of having sex on the hood of Megel's car in a dimly lit parking lot would get her pussy incredibly wet. Or the spine tingling orgasms she would get while he sucked on her stiff little clit in the back seat during a lunchtime quickie.

I remembered being young and in love, so I understood the fun naughtiness of it. But it's what she didn't say that really caught my attention. Most nights, when there was a lull in the conversation, Lisa would look at me, not with just any look. The look that we've all seen at one time or another... the look that said, 'I want to kiss you.'

I watched her seductive eyes flick back and forth between my lips and my eyes. She parted her own lips slightly. My heart raced with the possibility that she might actually do it. Her head would tilt almost unnoticeablly towards mine as I trembled with excitement.

Looking into her eyes I could see the angel/devil fight going on in her head. Should she or shouldn't she? Then her eyes would pop open all the way as if she was startled. A second later she would step to the side to collect herself. She would start a new conversation, and pretend that she didn't just want to put her sweet young lips on mine. I felt like I was being teased.

At the same time, I was dealing with my own feelings and emotions about Lisa. The love I felt for her was splitting in two. Part motherly love, part, I don't know, a lusty romantic love, I guess. I found myself wishing she would finally kiss me. But, fantasizing about kissing Lisa... and actually kissing Lisa, would be a huge leap. Not an unwanted or undreamt of leap, but a leap into the unknown nonetheless.

Lisa often made an excuse to leave soon after our 'almost' kiss. Leaving me to wonder if one day she would actually go through with it. I wondered how I would react. Would I kiss her back? Would our eager tongues get playful? Would we end up making love, like I wanted to oh so many years ago?

Then one Friday, Lisa showed me a ring and announced that she and Miguel were engaged. That they would be getting married in about two months, because... she was 6 weeks pregnant.

She said it was one of those times where she ran out of her birth control and Megel promised to pull out. She said that he did, but apparently not soon enough.

On one hand, I was thrilled for her, and congratulated her. On the other hand, I was disappointed that our kiss would likely never happen. We hugged tightly, then opened a bottle of wine to celebrate. Lisa declined for obvious reasons, and drank sparkling grape juice instead.

We talked for an hour about the whole situation while I finished three glasses of wine. A serene silence fell over us, and Lisa gave me that, I-want-to-kiss-you look for the hundredth time.

But this look was a little different, her smoldering eyes looked deep into mine. Her hand slowly slid up my arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake. My head tilted down slightly, my eyes fluttered and my heart raced as I bit my bottom lip.

Her lips seemed to move glacially slow towards mine. My eyes slowly closed as the anticipation built up to a fevered pitch inside me... it felt electric. Her warm breath meant her cherub-like face was an inch from mine. My heart pounded in my chest. Then it happened, our lips touched ever so gently. It was a sweet, warm, tender kiss. And yet, there was also an air of confidence behind her lips.

There was no hesitation on her part once our lips met. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. Her hand that was on my arm slid up to caress the back of my neck. I was both shocked and relieved. Only one second passed before I happily joined in. My hand caressed her neck as well.

She moaned.

I moaned.

Her kiss sent wondrous shivers down my spine.

Visions of Cleo flashed in my mind as my hands automatically pushed slowly through Lisa's shoulder length hair. I lovingly returned Lisa's kiss. My heart raced as her silky smooth ruby lips pressed hard against mine. Her strawberry lip gloss reminded me of Cloe.

She caressed the side of my neck, letting her thumb graze over the top edge of my ear. Slowly pinching and massaging it, she apparently found an erogenous zone that I didn't even know I had. I let out a soft moan as goosebumps raised on my neck. I felt my heart rate double while my mind shifted into a fantasy world where kissing young women almost half my age was a normal occurrence.

My moaning and goosebumps seemed to be her signal to bring her other hand up to do the same to my other ear. It felt amazing. Tiny little electric pulses shot directly to my pussy. I moaned as my fingers kept exploring her soft, shiny black hair.

As I was dealing with that new exciting pleasure, her long tongue pressed deep into my mouth. I moaned loudly and felt my knees getting weak. My heart hammered in my chest. My pussy became increasingly wet. My wine induced fantasy brain wanted more.

Our tongues lazily played with each other. It was both romantic and erotic. Finally, I decided to break our kiss. I leaned back, but Lisa followed me, our lips never parted. She didn't want our kiss to end. She really wanted me! I was thrilled.

Several things started running through my alcohol and dopamine soaked mind. First, am I gay? I absolutely loved what was happening, AND I certainly wanted things to go further. Or was this just years of suppressed curiosity finally coming out? Or did I really feel THAT kind of love for Lisa? Questions that were impossible to answer coherently with her tongue exploring my mouth.

Second, even if this goes no further, do I tell Marty? If it does, how do I keep from telling him? What if he catches us? I know I'll be guilt ridden.

My last thought was... I'm 50 years old. I'm sure this will be my one and only chance to find out what it's like to make love to another woman. My one and only chance for a do-over from my college years. My one and only chance to live-out that experimental time that never happened for me.

Lisa finally broke our kiss, she looked lustfully into my eyes, then whispered. "Do you want me to stop, Janet?"