I Spy in England 1633

I started to write this work of Historical Fiction using the Thees, Thous, etc, so familiar to you all from the King James Bible, for the direct speech of the characters. It soon started to sound forced and unnatural so I reverted to my more usual style.

Any similarity between people, either living or dead, or any rich families is purely coincidental.

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Looking back, he was lucky. He was descended from one of the noblest families in Dorset and he was rich. Three sons and a daughter had all survived childhood. His wife was still beautiful and at forty was just developing the sort of plump rump that he liked. They had been married for twenty years now. The fifteen year age difference had created a bit of gossip at first but nobody thought anything of it these days. Their fourth child had caused his wife some nasty complications but she came through it. They still made love, not quite as often as they used to, but no further offspring had materialised.

Looking down, he could view the village of Corfe Castle laid out below him. As well as the castle, he owned the village that was named after it.

Looking outward, he could see the Isle of Purbeck in all directions until it reached the sea. Poole Harbour to his left, Swanage in front of him. Kimmeridge Bay to his right and Wareham to the north behind him. He owned everything he could see.

Of course Purbeck wasn't an island really. It was sort of bulge out of Dorset but the Bulge of Purbeck didn't have the same romantic ring to it.

God had ordained that he should be Lord of these lands just as God had, for reasons that only God knew, ordained that King James of Scotland should be King of England. God had subsequently ordained that his son should be King Charles of both England and Scotland. Neither King James nor King Charles was an idiot so the Royal court is based in Westminster rather than Edinburgh.

He tried to stay well clear of London. There were too many dangers. Pick the wrong side on a controversial subject and you could be in trouble. The King believed that God had given him the 'divine right' to rule as he saw fit. Many in parliament saw things differently. He supposed that, if he had to choose, he would side with the King.

He was far happier here in Dorset. He was as passionate about his wife as he had ever been. It was her wicked sense of humour that had first attracted him. After they had married it was her pure naughtiness that had bound them together.

Even after twenty years she could still surprise him. From touching him under the table when he was giving a judgement in a local dispute to insisting that they have sex on the highest turret of the castle in a thunderstorm.

That night the rain lashed and lightning forced its way to earth wherever it could. Torrents splashed between her arse and his stomach. Almost deafened by the thunder, the lady was draped over an embrasure, with her face to the wind screaming, "Oh God, I am coming to you!" in an attempt to be heard above the storm.

There had been at least one infamous death at the castle. He prayed that he wouldn't be remembered as the lord who was struck by a thunderbolt while clamped to his wife's backside.

Another thing that was wonderful about her was her generosity. He would always jest that she was trying to make the village poor rich and him poor. But it wasn't just his money that she gave but also her time. Lady Mary was forever visiting the sick and needy. Bringing them little comforts which she carried in a wicker basket.

Apart from Lady Mary, his other passion was the view from the top of the castle. He loved the fact that it changed from day to day. On a clear day he could clearly observe ships at sea. Below him he saw the streets and lanes of his village and all the toing and froing of the villagers.

He loved it so much that he had treated himself to a present. A very, very, expensive present. A marine optical telescope. He wasn't usually guarded about what he spent but he had kept the cost even from his wife.

The telescope had been made in Holland. When it finally arrived a young university man had come with it. He was there to instruct Lord John in how to set it up on its stand and how to focus and use it.

He was astonished. Everything was five times larger when viewed through the telescope. The ships on the sea. The people in the village. The birds in the trees.

He spent days peering through it at anything and everything.

Lord John showed his new plaything to Lady Mary. She couldn't quite get the notion of closing one eye. When eventually she glimpsed a passing fishing boat she said, "Lovely dear." Just as if she was seeing some proud mother's new born baby for the first time."

He was even more deflated when she added, "If you want to see ships more closely, why don't you go down to Swanage Harbour.

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Tensions had been rising between the King and Parliament. He wished that the King would give just a little. That was the way England had always worked. Everyone pretended that the King was in control of the country but deep down everyone knew that if the King lost the support of the people he couldn't rule at all. By the people, Lord John meant people like him. Not the people he viewed through his telescope down in the village.

In some respects, he was like the King of Purbeck. He ruled the ordinary people but he still had a duty to keep them on his side.

King Charles didn't quite understand these things. But still, Lord John hoped he would never have to choose between the King and the people. But if he did he would probably choose the King.

In the same way if he had to choose between the old religion and the new religion he would probably choose the old. But after so many years of backwards and forwards between the two it was safer to wait until the vicar of the Church of St Edward King & Martyr told you what you believed.

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At each evening meal Lord John would say to his wife things like, "You visited Mother Toomy today. Did she like the apples, honey and cheese?"

At first she asked, "How did you know what I took?"

"Telescope!" he replied.

Initially, she found it amusing but the novelty soon wore off. He would tell her where she had been and what she had taken them. Then, she started saying, "Telescope?" as soon as he mentioned what she had been doing.

Slowly, he found that he was less interested in ships at sea or the movement of carts on the Wareham Road and far more absorbed by the daily actions of village folk. It was fun to know that you could see in great detail what people were doing when they had no idea they were being watched.

Who was sneaking from houses they had no business being in. Betrothed couples canoodling in the fields. Women lifting their skirts to relieve an itch in their private parts.

On a fresh spring morning Lord John had one eye closed and was watching with some fascination two women who were fighting by the cross in Market Square. Just when it looked as if blood would be spilled two burly men pulled them apart and the whole thing broke up.

Turning the telescope towards the fields in the hope of spotting another amorous couple he spied Lady Mary gaily strolling along the track close to the Corfe River that the milkmaids use when they walked from the outlying farms to the village.

She was wearing a large straw hat. Over her arm was her basket. From the way in which she was swinging it his lordship doubted that it had any contents left in the basket. She could be returning from any one of three farms.

Lord John stood up to relieve his eye.

Further along the track, just after a bend in the river path, he saw a figure skulking half out of sight. Adjusting the angle and focus of the telescope he was able discern a village lad of about eighteen or nineteen. It was immediately obvious that he had his breeches unfastened and his erect cock in his hand.

Lord John was sure that it was the lad's intention to wave his John Thomas at any passing milkmaid.

He wasn't too surprised at this. Lord John knew all too well the weaknesses of young men. He had himself been sent down from Oxford for having an erection in an inappropriate place: his Tutor's Wife.

Lord John smiled as he realised that her ladyship was on a collision course with boy with the stiff dick. He wondered who would get the biggest shock.

He followed the movement of the unaware Lady Mary. One supposes that he could have tried to shout a warning to her but he felt that she was probably well out of earshot. Besides, he couldn't watch and shout at the same time.

The lord felt the tension as his wife got closer. Anything could happen. The lad may just jerk himself off and go home and she would never have an inkling of her near miss. She could be horrified and attack him with her basket. If she saw his dick the young man may realise who she was and run for his life.

Whatever the outcome he hoped it gave her a thrill of some sort that he could tease her with.

As his wife rounded the bend the young man stepped forward and waved his tool towards her in the belief that as she was wearing a skirt she must be a village woman. Lady Mary broke stride momentarily but then strolled past the young man.

After four strides she placed her basket on the ground and turned to walk back towards the lad. Lord John couldn't be sure if the young man had recognised her ladyship. The straw hat covered part of her face.

Lady Mary took the stiff prick in her right hand and pulled on it four or five times. The lad threw back his head and shuddered. Lord John felt his own cock twitch.

His wife just turned away and continued on her way stooping to retrieve her basket without pausing.

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When they had finished their supper that evening and were alone, Lord John said, "Madam, I must have words with you."

"I rather thought that you might," said her ladyship.

"I observed you as you walked by the river this morning."

"I rather thought that you would," she said.

"I saw what you did," he said.

"I rather hoped that you would," she replied.

"I had to take myself in hand afterwards."

The lady was greatly relieved by this. She was sure that it was a rule that if a husband produced an erection while observing his wife being obscene with a strange cock that was as good as giving his consent.

"I rather expected that you would," were her final words.

Lord John took the Lady Mary into his arms, lifted her off her feet, carried her to her chamber and fucked her lustfully.

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Two days later while they broke their fast, Lady Mary told his lordship, "It is my intention to summon the baker's lad here today and admonish him for his gross impertinence the other day. You may, if you wish, hide behind the tapestry and watch. You might find it pleasing to see. That way you won't need to use your infernal telescope."

Within the hour the young man stood before her ladyship and stammered his apologies, "I did not know it was you my lady. I would never be so rude as to..........."

"Be quiet!" Lady Mary said quietly but with authority.

"Unfasten your breeches."

"M'lady?"

"You heard me plainly enough. Unfasten your breeches. Don't tell me that you are shy."

His lordship didn't know quite what he had expected as the lad revealed his wedding tackle. But he was sure he didn't expect it to be decent.

Lady Mary placed her hand under the baker's boy's semi erect cock and patted it upwards on each word she spoke.

"So - you - think - it's - fun - to - show - your - cock - to - village - women."

"No, my la..............."

"Silence, I will talk. You will listen."

"That sort of behaviour is something that I will not tolerate."

The lad's dick was fully erect now. Lord John wasn't surprised, so was his.

Lady Mary had the head of the cock in the palm of her hand and was twisting it back and forth as if she were removing the top from a scent bottle.

"You left a sticky mess on my hand when last we meet. Kindly don't do that again," she went on.

The young man was straining trying not to let himself go. Lord John was doing the same behind the tapestry. He decided that it may be best if he put his hands behind his back.

Lady Mary now had the lad's shaft gripped firmly in her fist and was slowly moving it up and down.

"If you tell a single soul about any of this, Lord John will have you branded as a liar and then he will have you gelded. Do you understand?"

"Yes, my lady. I won't say a word."

Seman gushed and trickled down onto Lady Mary's hand and then found its way between her fingers.

"Damn it. It was my intention to send you off unfulfilled. Get out of my sight," she shouted.

He was gone in a flash; if you will forgive the pun.

Lord John stepped out from behind the tapestry and said, "I hope that it is not your intention to send me off unfulfilled."

As he felt her sticky hand close around his throbbing penis he thanked God that God had ordained that this mischievous woman should be his wife.

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It wasn't all fun being a Lord. Once a month he had to preside as a magistrate at the court in Wareham.

Most of the cases were petty in nature, very petty.

The only accusation this month was of a woman who was charged with committing a lewd act with a sailor while drunk.

"Who makes the accusation?" asked his lordship.

"I do, my lord," said the publican.

"Did you receive any payment for this alleged lewd act?" Lord John asked the woman.

The woman answered, "No Sir, I would never do such a thing. I swear!"

"Who paid for the drink?"

"The sailor," said the landlord.

"And who did he pay?"

"Why, it was me, Sir," answered the innkeeper.

"So the only person who gained financially from this alleged lewd act was you, my good man, is that not so?" said the lord.

"Well, I suppose so," answered the landlord.

"Are you sure you want to press this charge then?"

"My lord?", asked the man.

"Do you wish to stand before this court and state that you made a profit from debauchery?"

"No, my lord."

"So, are you sure you want to press this charge then?"

"No, my lord."

"Case dismissed!"

The woman called out, "Sir, they put me in the Clink with the other drunks. During the night someone buggered me. You couldn't find out who it is that still owes me a Brandy, could you?"

"Case dismissed!" repeated his lordship.

Lord John didn't stay at Oxford University long enough to study Jurisprudence but he always felt as if he could have done great things if he had.

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"My darling, it is soon to be the anniversary of your birth. Is there any treat or largesse that I can grant you to celebrate it?" asked Lady Mary. "Apart from another telescope, that is."

Lord John smiled at her jest.

"Well, since you ask. The only thing that my heart desires is to witness you lending a kindly hand to another young man as you did before," he answered.

"Now, that would be a treat for both of us," she said. "But I fear that it would be unwise to handle another village lad.

"One, we can denounce as a liar and a deviant but two may be too many.

"We would need to travel a little. Maybe to Dorchester or even Salisbuury."

"Yes, yes, Dorchester would do. I am little known there. We could stay in the best inn for a few days. Would you mind travelling that far in the coach?" said the lord.

Her ladyship laughed, "Is that the coach with your family crest on the side?

"It may be better if we disguise ourselves as a modest merchant and his wife and stay at a reasonably priced inn. We could ride," said Lady Mary.

"Would it suit you to ride sidesaddle for twenty miles?" he asked.

"You know that I have been riding since I was a young girl. Besides, the horses would only be walking, they wouldn't be following the hunt.

"A day's shopping in Dorchester would be lovely too."

"I thought that this treat was for me," chuckled Lord John.

"Oh, it will be. It will be," the lady concluded.

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To maintain the impression that they were just a middling merchant and his wife, everything had to be second best from their clothes to the horses they rode.

His lordship borrowed his steward's bay. Her ladyship kept the old grey mare that she had had for years. It wasn't what it used to be.

Lord John was a little uneasy. Normally, they would travel with an escort. As their journey was clandestine, that wasn't possible. His wife insisted that he left his pistol and sword at home. Only a rich merchant could afford such weapons. If he was a rich merchant he would surely have an escort as well. She thought about these things.

One advantage of not using the carriage was that they could take the bridleways for most of the journey, well away from the main roads with their cart ruts and potholes. It also meant that they got to pass through some of the county's smaller hamlets.

They stopped for refreshment at two places. At these little inns, her ladyship got to speak to the ordinary people that she loved so much. At both, she paid well over what the simple food and drink was worth. It wasn't so important to remain incognito out in the countryside.

It took a full day's slow ride to reach Dorchester. They both knew that the horses may not make it if they were ridden too hard.

The Market Town had altered little since Lord John's last visit. They took the best room at the fourth best hostelry. It was near the top of the building but extended to its full width and was quite large with windows on both sides. The bed was clean which pleased her ladyship. In one corner was what one might call a linen press or wardrobe.

They had a good meal and a restful night's sleep after their long journey.

The next day they went to see what the shops of Dorchester had to offer. Lord John stated that in order to stay in character he hadn't brought too much money with him. This would stop them being extravagant; which a middling merchant would never do. Lady Mary had her own opinion but kept it to herself.

She bought a few furbelows but luckily she saw nothing expensive that she really wanted. In truth they were both slightly distracted.

When they returned to the inn, her ladyship called for a serving girl.

"When we arrived I noticed a young groom. A strong built lad with fair hair. Do you know the one I mean?" she asked the girl.

"Thomas, mistress?"

"If that is his name. How old is he?" said the lady.

"One and twenty, I believe, mistress."

"He will do. Please tell him to come here. I wish to speak to him regarding my horse."

She gave the girl a silver ha'penny. She grinned and bobbed a curtsey as she left the room.

Lady Mary instructed her excited lord to hide in the wardrobe but to leave the door slightly ajar.

When the groom arrived he was very sheepish, fearing that he had done something wrong.

"You wanted to see me, mistress. Have I displeased you?"

"No, not from what I have seen so far," she answered. "Are you the sort of lad who can keep a secret?"

"Yes, mistress."

"If I gave you a half crown would you allow me to do something and promise never to tell anyone?"

"For two shillings and sixpence, you could steal the Crown Jewels and I would not tell the King himself."