I Stepped Off The Train - Missing

Missing - I Step Off The Train

This is a stand alone story.

This story is fiction, and you are welcome to imagine the characters as you wish but all characters are 18 years old or older. Events, and descriptions are not intended to be accurate or diagnostic so please don't flame me on that account.

Please vote and comment, it helps me improve my stories. Again: This story is fiction and does not relate to anyone, living or dead.

As with my other 1x: stories, there is an intro, 'Who Am I?' and a concluding 'For those who like closure.' There is also a 'If anyone wonders' where I try to address some things that I think might come up in comments, but it might generate more! But you can skip all of those if you are in a hurry, or don't care.

It was inspired by hearing "Missing" by Everything But The Girl and there are minor part quotes that I believe are well within the realms of 'fair use' and could be considered to be a type of Fan Fiction. (see 'If anyone wonders' for more.)

This story moves back and forth in time and at those points the > or < is a year, but to save mental calculations the year is also added, eg <<< <<<'89. When it is just hours, days or weeks then the marker is ---- or -->-- for one year. I hope that helps

Who Am I?

My name is Tracy and when the song 'Missing' by Everything but the Girl was released in 1995 it broke my heart. It was as if they were singing about me...

Because they were...

Well in my own mind they were anyway.

<<< <<<'89

He was even called Ben, well Benjamin, but Ben to everyone including me.

We grew up together, walking to the same bus stop to go to school. He had an older brother, already in secondary school, and a much older sister, and I rarely saw them. Friends out of habit even though he was always in the year above me, doing things before I could catch up and when I did, he had moved on to the next thing. I was his number one fan and to him I was a face in the crowd of admirers. I didn't live next door, one of the new three story five-bedroom town houses, but across the busy road in the block of old two story two bed apartments.

I was one of his clan, always there, always wanting to know what the latest thing was, best movie, song, fast food, designer, book, console, game, computer. Almost all of which I could only dream about. He hinted his older siblings knew these things and shared them with him.

I Stepped Off The Train

>>> >>>'95

I was thinking about those events as I did the ten-to-fifteen-minute walk from the station to the top of the road, or street, and wander down it again, visiting my old hometown hoping for what? Some emotional reconciliation, an impossible chance meeting. It had been five years, five fucking years of miserable dates and worse boyfriends and lousy sex.

<<< <<<'89

In the autumn of 1989, just after my eighteenth birthday, Ben asked me out... on a date... just me...

And I couldn't go.

But he understood, or so he said; but I cried that night as I babysat my younger brother, though why a fifteen-year-old needs babysitting I'll never know, but mother insisted.

A couple of weeks later he asked me again!!! And I could go, which I did, even though I heard he had taken Mandy out on the date I couldn't go on and they had been seen holding hands... But he had asked me first... right... that's something... isn't it.

Well, we went for a burger and then the second Back to The Future film, he had already bought the tickets for the back row. That lead to kissing and cuddling, lots of kissing and cuddling, though he started with a kiss to my forehand and then my lips. After the film, we went back to his house and his parents were out. We went to bedroom and the kissing resumed and I was wondering, worrying, if it might lead to him wanting sex as I had never slept with a man.

I was on the pill, as my mother, a single parent, didn't want me having the same problem as she had when she was young. That problem being that my father skedaddled once he knew my mother was expecting me; still, that didn't stop her making the same mistake three years later! So I whispered to him. "Ben, I'm on the pill if you want me."

He whispered back. "Good to know." He kissed my neck. "But I'm not going to rush us into that."

No, Ben was better than that, as in better at seducing a virgin. That night my blouse was unbuttoned, and my bra unhooked so that he could play with my tits and suck and pinch my nipples. When I was rubbing his bulge, he opened up his trousers and let me stroke got his penis through his pants. In return he lifted my skirt and put his hand on my panties, and we brought each off. I am not sure how good a job I did, but Ben certainly knew what he was doing. I didn't see his spunk come out under the waist band of his pants and there was a load of stuff where the tip of his cock was touching the hem of his polo shirt, that had run down onto his stomach, so he must have leaked quite a bit.

>>> >>>'95

So six years after that date, and five since he disappeared, what was I doing here? Again? On a Sunday? About once a month, guess which week? For the last three of those lousy years, what thirty odd times? What did I hope to achieve? And then that record, that sodding record, is released and it rips my heart up as if the world is mocking me! I resolved that this time, this actual time, would be the last time as my first time should have been. When I saw the sign that all was lost.

<<<'92

It was my first return visit, two years after moving. I had determined that I would forgive him and go to Ben's house and knock, and ask his parents for his contact details. I was feeling good about making a choice and acting on it and turned into the top of the road and noticed something odd in their front garden. I instinctively knew what it was, but that didn't mean they were not there, a 'For Sale' board doesn't mean they have moved.

I walk faster hoping not to see what I think I can see. But I can. Across the sign is a banner 'SOLD subject to contract'. With a proclamation how good the Estate Agent is at selling houses. I nearly panicked and ran away, but I kept going.

Still, they may still be there... till I nearly get to their front gate, there being a tiny front garden, and I can see there are no curtains at the windows. I should have come last month, or a couple of months ago, or last year, but I didn't. I turn to go and notice a sign on our old block of flats. 'Coming Soon - New Luxury Town Houses - Book Yours Now!' So even my old home will be no more, Ben's parents are no more, there is nothing in this town left for me.

----

Three months later I was back. Who knows why? I didn't. But walking Ben's side of the road made me feel connected to my past, I could imagine him hanging out of the window and shouting down to me, except I cried remembering the last time he did that. Oh and the flats had gone, now just a gap in the row of houses, and like that part of my life, like a lost front tooth.

----

Another three months go by, and I am there again. Even though it's a Sunday some builders are working on the new houses and some wolf whistle at me, but they don't mean it, just like the "I love you's" from my last cheating, lousy lover, boyfriend. He said it was because I always seemed to want someone else and not him, but other women were pleased with what he could do. What he could do was give me an orgasm and then go for it like the clappers, sometimes forgetting the orgasm.

----

Then it was two months, I rationalised that I wanted to see how the house building was going. Not that I cared. I saw a family coming out of Ben's house with a baby and toddler and wished that was me. I had to find somewhere to have a little breakdown.

----

I kept coming every four weeks or so, when I wouldn't have anyone in my bed, or be in anyone else's, from the Saturday night to explain where I was going. Some men made a couple of weeks before either I or they lost interest and moved on, so I missed some of those Sundays, but not many.

>>>'95

It was now a destructive habit to keep coming here and the song in the charts told me so. Ben had a better place, a better life, a better wife, he wouldn't want me if he was still alive, or for Christ Sake, let him still be alive.

So I think back on the happy time as I resolve never, never, to come this way again.

I was in a daydream as I walked down the road, oblivious of almost everything and everyone, remembering the good time.

<<< <<<'89

We had another date and, as his parents were in, we snuck up to his bedroom. He gave me a big hug, brushed my hair on my forehead and gave me a kiss there, before raising my face with a hand on my jaw, and kissing me lightly on the mouth. I nodded and he helped me to take off my top and bra and had me lay on the bed where he again worked on my tits and, he had his hand, this time in my panties, where he worked on and in my pussy until I was shaking and had to grab a pillow and shove it over my mouth to stifle my scream. I had found his erection and tried to get at it, but Ben said. "Wait." So I did.

After I had recovered Ben got me to sit on the bed and then he removed his polo shirt, trousers and boxer pants. His penis, or cock, was already hard and he stood there with it pointing at my face. I had not seen one before, but it looked so nice so I took it in my right hand and started stroking it up and down and I used my left hand to stroke his balls. I looked up at Ben, but he seemed to be waiting for something, so I asked. "Am I doing it right?"

He quietly, almost pleadingly replied. "I was hoping you would take me in your mouth, a blow job."

Now I wasn't that naïve, I knew what he meant, I just hadn't done it before and only heard friends discussing it and sharing some pictures from a little Climax magazine she had stolen from her older brother's bedroom. One that you couldn't get in the newsagents. Also, in 1989 you couldn't get more than photos over dial-up internet, not that I had a computer, and my mum couldn't afford the phone bills if we did. So, I opened my mouth and took his cock in it, using my tongue to wet it and experience the novel, salty, musky, taste. Ben thrust his hips slightly, so, getting the hint, I moved my head more, taking him deeper and imitating what I presumed it would be like if he was in my vagina.

I looked up at him, and he was looking down at me and smiling, so I increased my efforts and he put his hands gently on my head and used them to encourage my efforts to go faster and deeper and I heard him groan. I kept using my tongue to keep his cock wet and also to flick over the underside. I must have been really working at that, as I felt my hands, on is shaft and balls, getting wet as well.

Then Ben started to moan and held my head tighter and urged me to move faster, to do more, and I felt his balls tighten, he muttered something but his hands were over my ears, then it happened. He groaned and then I was shocked by the sudden squirt of something in my mouth. I choked! Was he pissing!? I pushed him away in shock, but it was just a single shot. The second shot hit my forehead. The third, over my shoulder and then drips on my neck and then tits.

I looked up in shock and then had to wipe away the stuff running down into my eye. Ben looked, well I'm not sure, I suppose confused but then sad. "Sorry Tracy, I thought you knew about when men come, I did say."

I tried to smile, the stuff in my mouth didn't taste bad, possibly good, like his cock but stronger. I decided to pretend I knew more than I did. "Sorry, I didn't hear you and I was surprised as I thought it just leaked." I looked at the stuff on my fingers and decided to suck it off. Yes, the same stuff. Ben's impression changed, with a small smile, so I did the same thing with the stuff on my neck and tits and his smile widened. However, I noticed his cock was going soft and shrinking, so nothing more was going to happen that night. I really didn't know as much as I should.

We cleaned up a bit more and amongst apologies we discussed what had happened and we both learnt, well I did mostly. We kissed and then he showed me out of the house and watched as I crossed the road. My mother gave me a hard look as I came in, but I just said 'goodnight' and ran up the stairs.

----

For ladies reasons I put off the next date until two weeks later. I practiced two things, firstly with an icing rolling pin, which was not quite as thick as Ben's cock, but totally hard, sucking it and seeing how far I could take it before it was too uncomfortable. The second was to get a teaspoon of yoghurt and put it in my mouth and swallow immediately. I had no way of squirting it, but at least I wouldn't be surprised next time.

We did the usual burger and movie before we got back to his house, and it was in darkness. I hesitated. "You coming in? I have a treat for you, my parents are away."

I wondered about the treat as I suspected it would me more of the activity that we had done last time. When we got in, he headed to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of white wine from the fridge. When he opened the bottle it made a pop sound so I asked. "Champagne?"

Ben turned and smiled. "Oh, I'd love to be able to give you that, but this is similar to it, Prosecco, apparently women like it more anyway." With that he handed me a glass and the bubbles tickled my nose and it tasted a bit like Shloer, a sparking grape juice that my mum bought for special occasions. I forgot that this was wine as it was sweet and had about three glasses and was feeling very relaxed by the time we went upstairs.

We sat on the bed and after his little ritual of kissing my forehead and then lips, we were kissing and cuddling, and Ben was working on my tits through my top and I was looking forward to doing what we had the last time. I was quite giggly as Ben got my top off and then my bra, before he played with my tits, caressing them, and sucking them.

I laid back on the bed, so, so relaxed, my hand feeling his bulge with my right hand and running my fingers through his hair with the left. I feel Ben flip up my skirt and get his hand in my panties, but this time he slid them down to give him better access and as well as rubbing up and down my slit and clit, I felt him putting his fingertips in me. A new sensation.

Ben clearly knew what he was doing as my body was starting to shudder and I was moaning and then let out a scream that would have got people thumping on the walls in my little apartment across the road. I think I may have briefly lost consciousness as the next I knew Ben was gently stroking my tits and pussy as I came around, both exhausted and full of energy.

I knew what was next and struggled to sit up on the side of the bed and, as I did, Ben removed, rather than replaced, my panties. But as my skirt fell over my lap I thought no more of it. Once sat there, Ben stripped off his shirt, trousers and boxers and stood waiting for me to pleasure his cock.

I took his shaft in my right hand at the root and his balls in my left and opened my mouth and literally sucked him it as he wasn't fully hard, but I revelled in my power as he grew immediately. I started moving my head back and forth, sucking and licking and Ben stood there with his hands behind his back for a while and then brought them around and stared to stroke my shoulders and neck. I'm sure he would have reached down to my tits, but I had my arms in the way.

Occasionally, he would stroke my hair but I didn't worry that he would grab at me again. My play with the roller meant I was confident to take him right to the back of my mouth without gagging and that seemed to please him as I could see him smiling down at me.

I could tell he was getting close and then he brought both hands to my head, to encourage my movements. but lightly so he didn't force me. The first I felt was his balls twitch, then his shaft, and then I felt the first jet of cum in my mouth! Then he grabbed my head firmly; but didn't pull me down on him.

As I was expecting it, and had practiced swallowing, I gulped it down before the next one. I swallowed that, but had to breathe, so the next two built up, but were fortunately smaller and weaker. As I had both his cum and his cock in my mouth, I used my tongue to swirl it around which caused a groan and his grip relaxed so I was able to swallow and then gently suck him clean as I removed his already softening cock from my mouth.

He laid me on his bed and the came to lie beside me and we cuddled and kissed, but his right hand were roaming over me as we lay there. It wandered down to my skirt and flipped it up before he gently stroked my pussy and I, without thinking about it, widened my legs to give him more room to work on my lips and clit and I could feel I was so wet. He curled his fingers in deeper and was working them in and out, fucking me with them and my breathing got shorter as my pleasure built.

So, I was a bit disappointed and confused when he slid off the bed, although we both had had orgasms, so that was it for the night. He got something out of a bedside draw, but is body was in the way, then he turned and kneeling on the floor, he helped me turn across the bed. His hands lifted and spread my legs, before sliding down to either side of my pussy, where his fingers spread me in front of his face.

Then he kissed me! Kissed me right in the middle of my open sex! Then his tongue licked me! And probed me! And did all the things his fingers had done, but so much more sensually! He worked his mouth, lips, tongue and even slightly his teeth, on my whole sex, from the very bottom to the top, seeking out my clit and my entrance and my body was reeling in sensations again. My arms were spread wide, grasping at the bedsheets as if to hold myself down against the rising tide of pleasure.

I hadn't realised he was holding my tits until I felt the thrill of him pinching of my nipples. Then I orgasmed and my hands flew to Ben's head to feel the source of my pleasure and to hold him there and his movements slowed as my body recovered a sense of connection with the world. Ben brought his right hand back from my left tit and worked it between his face and my pussy, and then I felt him put two fingers in my and still gently kissing, licking, and sucking on my clit, he moved them in and out, getting deeper and deeper, oh so deep in me.

His hand must have been palm up as the fingertips curled and ran along the front of my vagina and suddenly, they hit a sensitive spot that made me gasp. Having found that spot, Ben's attention to it became relentless, even as I screamed and bucked, my hands now back holding the sheets in desperation not to leave this world of pleasure. I must have phased out again as the next I knew I was like a rag doll with Ben just gently massaging my mons with his left hand. When I looked down, he was sat there like the king of the world, and he was, he was king of my world, and I couldn't imagine a better place to be.

Then there was a wicked glint in his eye, and he picked something up and I head a slight humming. Then something hard and cool pressed against my clit and it was vibrating, and I gasped, instinctively raising my legs, but Ben used his left hand to prevent me clamping them together. The source of the vibrations slid downwards and across my opening, before returning up to my clit. The sensations were good and so I relaxed and spread my legs again and it did the same thing two more times.

Then, on the way down, it didn't so much as pass over my opening, as centre on it, moving around a few times, and then slowly, and relentlessly, it penetrated me, the vibrations making me shiver with pleasure and, as it passed that now sensitive spot, to gasp. The vibrator, for that is what is must have been, but I only knew what other women had said, continued its journey until there was nowhere left for it to go and then Ben brought it back out, almost all the way, before he slid it back.