All Comments on 'I Think You're My Dad'

Didn't want it to end. Lovely story. Thank you.

How can there be banking online when this story is clearly set around 1995? You really need beta readers and an editor Doc. Seriously, at least get someone to beta read. You would fix a lot of problems.

I started reading and the story simply made no sense. Children have been placed in foster care for many years.

Then, since when are doctors able to take a day off at the last minute. Indeed, the whole doctor's office scene did not seen right.

I might have continued reading the story despite what appeared to be a false premise, but then saw that the story went for 11 pages. Given the faulty start, I stopped, because there was too much risk that rest of story would be as bad as the start.

It's almost like you are attempting to portray child abuse in a positive light because their "intentions were honorable" are you out of your fucking mind? This is getting reported. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. They loved Carol so they should be forgiven? They threatened to have her forcibly submit to to DC? What the fuck is wrong with you? My gods you are an asshole.

A nice slow story. Easy to get lost in the details. Real people. Real problems. Good ending.

Hi, I'm the Devil. I live in the details.

This is an engaging story with a good premise and likable characters. For the most part I did enjoy reading it.

The trouble is with timing and details. While I was able to force myself to look beyond them, they did force me to stop and regroup more than a few times.

A 22 year old woman born in 1973, via IVF which first succeeded in 1978, cannot drive a Honda Fit, have a cellphone, or a Facebook page. I could go on but I won't belabor the point.

It seems that the author had an idea for a story, but couldn't make it work around a date which was a fundamental pillar. The plot could work by having the daughter born later and/or being older. and taking care that things in the world of the story are at least plausible with the real world of the time frame.

I'd give this a 5 for the writing and characters, but can only go for a 4 due to the errors and inconsistencies.

AngelRider - it is FICTION!!

Why do you criticise a fictional story just because you think some 'true life' fact doesn't gel?

Have you no empathy, no love?

The story was great and, much to my disgrace, it had me in tears several times!

j

I enjoyed this story. Thank you🙏

Whilst it’s all very healthy and commendable to forgive, I’m pretty sure that this is just straight up child abuse so perpetrators belong in jail with the key thrown away.

Nice story otherwise. Anita was great.

Ignore the naysayers. Truly a lovely piece of craftsmanship!

True Fact.

Sure, they realize after getting burned by them they made a mistake and many will even find a solid and steady "good guy" to settle down with. However, that call of the bad boy is just sitting dormant in the back of their mind waiting for the perfect storm to come out and play. This happens when life becomes routine and a bad boy comes sniffing around. It's a large chunk of what makes up Cheating Wife stories in the Loving Wives genre.

Lovely read, couple of words but still a good read.

Too long winded. I couldn't read all of this. A little boring. Stolen sperm?!

Loved the story, but wanted to see some justice for Dean.

Well done!

Great story, hope there is a second part. 5

adding to angelrider:

'95 you also had to wait years for google, fb and mobiles with internet and cameras.

I liked it very much. Yeah, there were some issues of questionable behavior on some people’s pert, but overall I liked the story a lot. The writing, the dialogue just seemed real. Natural. I would certainly think it’s a Five Star story.

Well time warps be damned! I thought it was an enjoyable and engrossing story. It's fiction folks! Even the main characters don't exist they are just figments of the author's imagination. I liked the story and hit the 5 star button before reading all the fact checker comments. Glad I did. I hope Mo kicked her boyfriend's ass when she found out what he did to Dean. I guess that's another story.

Thanks for another enjoyable story, Doc and keep writing.

Cheers

SAGE

adding to angelrider pt. 2:

also no dna-tests, no honda fit, probably more.

move the story 15 years up and you have an absolute 5*-winner.

Mom may have taken my siblings but I doubt she took I.

Typical Californication.

It's OK to beat torture a boy without consequence.

Rape a man without consequence.

Keep a man from his child without consequence.

Then it's all happy happy??

No.

This was too much for me. Mother Nature and evolution has bred out the weak and stupid so only the smart and strong can survive. So anyone reading this and tries to take this distorted nightmarish fantasy and apply it to your real life then please don’t!

Don’t waste 27 years of your life on unrequited love. Don’t endure scar bearing beatings, punishments, lies and slander for fear of loosing puppy love. Don’t take being drugged to the point of near death and molested/ raped then beaten into a coma, then said it was all for the best. Don’t realize that you suddenly have a 22 y.o. child with a woman you never slept with and who stole your sperm and didn’t let you know and say it’s all forgiven and invite her into your life.

This is not a sane or stable mindset and I cannot fathom how this can be a romance as it seems like more of a nightmare to me. Maybe this could be in the “How To” or “Horror” section though there is no sex, but then again there was no real romance either.

Very nice, long, romantic tale with an excellent, second twist revealed near the end. Anita was a great character, Dean was the definitive Mr. Nice Guy trying to do the right thing, and Carol was likable most of the time, really stepping up at the end to help bring it to a satisfying conclusion.

Two issues stood out. There are issues with quotation marks in parts of the dialogue where there’s a long monologue. The intermediate beginning quotes are missing in places, making the dialogue a bit harder to follow. The other issue is the dates. April 1st 1966 Is an important date in the story and Anita was born about seven years later (making it 1973?). She was 23 or so, possibly setting the story in the mid-90s, before texting and DNA testing were as common. One of them (Anita, I think) used 23 and Me (founded 2006) and the other (Dean?) used Ancestry (founded 1996, but not common for several years afterward) for DNA testing.

Overall, excellent work with neither of the issues really affecting the reader’s enjoyment of the overall story so I gave it 5 stars.

Truly loved this excellent story!

Would be a good story, but far far too many errors. I will add one more. If you’re conceived around September 1 and born around April 1, you’re TWO months premature. Just sloppy all around, so you keep gettin pulled out of the story.

Wonderful, wonderful love story. Enjoyed it.

Had to stop reading after three pages of back-and-forth-dialogue without story...

I'm not done with this story yet but I needed to point out that your timelines don't make sense. First of all the mom is 43 and her daughter is 27 meaning she got pregnant when she was fifteen... yet in the story Dean knew that she got pregant 5 years after the last time he saw her when she was 17 or 18 (not clear on that) meaning she had her daughter when she was 23 or 24... so really she should be 50 or 51. Then the daughter is supposed to have been born in '73 which would make her 47 or 48 today which in and of itself isn't a problem yet there is no indication that this happened 20 years ago, it is written as if this is happening present day.

Awesomely well-written. Thanks

Wish I could have given this 5 stars, but the date issues and excessive length were too much to ignore.

Great story. Ignore the nitpickers. They probably couldn't write nearly as well as you do. And I suggest that avail yourself of one of the very willing editor/proofreaders available on this site. The kinds of errors are mostly things an editor would fine and correct, and that you as writer would never see unless you let it sit untouched for a few weeks, then came back to edit and proof. An editor is faster, and easier, and catches more.

I think there is a good three or four page story buried deep in there somewhere. Please consider editing this (WAY) down.

One of the best stories I've read in a long time.

The George Stewart reference was perfect! I happen to favor Storm.

Ignore the dates folks! There is reason behind your confusion; that is part of the story.

This is a strange place to be worrying about math!!! I read a story for pleasure, NOT to look for fault.

somewhere east of Omaha

I liked it a lot except for forgiving Mr. Worth. If they did that to Dean without real justification, they probably did it to many others over the years. It should be reported and investigated. The home would be taken over by the state and lawsuits would probably put it out of business. Also, the timeline doesn't work very well. If they were together in 1966, They would be in their 70s now. The technology of cell phones and GPS etc. place them well after the early 1990s which the 27 year gap would have put them. I can live with that since it was a sweet story.

What a great story. Certainly a top 10. Thank you

Great to see Reiki mentioned accurately.

This is a great romance.

Other than the Reiki shit, political view & sermon bout his "god". I would have liked to hear Dean's thoughts on LGBTQ, same sex marriage, equal rights too

Why? He’s a fictional character.

The end feels a bit too sudden. Yes, everything seems tied up and taken care of, but it almost feels like, "now we're together, close the door." Long good build with specific details of location and that, but again an almost abrupt ending.

I loved the story. It made me cry, more than a few times, both happy and sad tears.

Not many stories can make me weepy but this one somehow resonated with my psyche. If you do a follow-up, don't forget the secrets of the box!

Lovely story, really hoping for a sequel.

Ignore the Anon venom, they are losers. Not sure why they even read the Romance stories other than to try and belittle those with more talent than themselves. I would have thought 11 pages was more than their attention spans could handle....

5/5, maybe even 6/5. Thanks for this.

Enjoyed this story. All eleven pages of it. Can't believe the sadistic bastards, who could beat a 14 year old child , repeatedly, in order to drive him away!! Loving Carol and wanting to split her from a"bad hat" boy, was absolutely NO excuse for this brutality. Nothing short of a few broken bones and smashed faces in retaliation, would have been satisfactory! Also, Mo's boyfriend and his buddies needed to have been taken care of. I know this is a romance story BUT Dean was too full of the milk o' human kindness. 5 * 's.

I loved the story. Although I am really surprised at the number of comments people are making in this story about dates and what existed and when. I mean this IS a fictional story posted to a smut site whose most popular categories are science fiction and incest. If you want super realistic stories then this probably isn't the site for you. Yes, there will be inconsistencies because it's not exactly easy to create your own world or story much less write it down comprehensively and enjoyably. Far better than some of the other things I have read here. Keep up the great work.

It was a delightful read. I'm not usually one for stories where it's mostly dialogue, but you did a good job of pulling it off.

Lovely story, but it left me with a feeling of being unfinished, kinda sad, I really thinks it deserves a better ending.

Use your imagination

Nice story . Five star to bad you cut it short this looks like you kinda cut it short hope you can get more going pick it back

A wonderfully delightful story. You did a great job in leaving your readers wanting more. I too want to read more. Definitely worth 5 stars. Wish I could give a higher rating but . . .

At 10th page I had enough of a nice guy act.

No man would take beatings like the ones told here, I wouldn't my bros wouldn't.

Paybacks a bitch for everyone, specially Mo since today is all about being a gentlemen to ladies even if they don't deserve it.

This was a great love story that the ending really didn't finish the story. The story needs to continue of the two of them becoming a family again and any struggles they might have. Well Done 5 stars

Just FYI - I abandoned this story and rewrote it in a different locale with a different approach to getting the family together. I also fixed the timeline/technology issues. The new story wound up about 100K words and was mostly focused an Anita.

DocWords

In your comments 8 days ago you mentioned that this story was rewritten and published somewhere else. Can you share where that is as I would love to read it.

Thanks

Rancher46

Finest Kind

I’ve never commented, but this is hands down one of the best— if not the best— stories I’ve read in here! Absolutely incredible. Thank you fir this

Nice story...

I loved it . You did yourself proud.

Dam was a great story. But would have loved to know how it ended a bit farther down time line. Also would love to know where you have the revised one so I can read it also.

Awesome story but it sure could use an epilogue!

Having grown up in a children's home, without the beatings, this story touched a nerve (or 12). I have reread it at least twice and like it better each time

Please do a Part 2 and finish it in a grand ceremony and they have a great beginning of a long happy life... Thanks

One the best stories I have read in a long time! This could be made into a good movie. Thank you, I enjoyed it!

A truly sweet and wonderful romance! One of the best I’ve read on the site. More like this, please…!!!

Well done! That is one fine job of plot knitting, Doc!

very nice even though it was predictable. 5 starts.... The only problem I have is your hangover treatment. No Dr. on the planet that deserves to keep his license, would suggest hair of the dog. Dehydration is the main cause of hangover symptoms and more alcohol will only make the problem worse. ... Assuming there is no allergy to aspirin, use it instead of Tylenol as it increases blood flow and will help with pain; high dosage vitamin B complex to replace the water-soluble vitamins lost to dehydration; and lots of water, again for dehydration. The nausea med is a bonus if you can get it. And FYI if a patient is vomiting that much from so little alcohol, they probably have an allergy to it and should never drink period.

LOL - thanks for the anonymous hangover advice.

Sorry readers, but I need to address the hangover issue. Some symptoms early in the hangover are from alcohol withdrawal. Hair of the dog can most certainly help that. Aspirin does not increase blood flow. It inhibits platelet adhesion which can slow flow. Aspirin should not be given to a person with stomach issues. Tylenol is the proper medication since it does not cause gastric irritation. There is no science behind the use of high doses of vitamin B complex. The human body, when a certain alcohol level is reached, triggers vomiting to try and prevent potentially fatal alcohol poisoning. If a person is allergic to alcohol, anonymous is correct - they shouldn’t be drinking. This was not an allergy - this was an acute alcohol ingestion scenario. She had at least 5 shots of vodka in a very short period of time. For someone who isn’t a drinker, that’s a lot. The story was fiction but the approach to the hangover was accurate. As a clinician for over forty years, I’ve seen it used many times. I still wouldn’t recommend either Google or Literotica to learn medicine. If anonymous would like to discuss the issue, you’re welcome to send me an email. DocWords

Hey Doc - wow I loved every minute reading this story. One of the best. Looking forward to exploring the rest of your stories

Masterpiece. You did totally gloss over a 10 year marriage and losing both their virginities though. Still really liked it.

Her marriage and their virginities had nothing to do with the story.

The only part I found farfetched was the IVF/rape/sperm extraction. IVF doesn't succeed every time, I'm just glad it worked the one time they did it. Other than that Dean is the most easygoing human being I've ever heard of... After everything I can't believe how he just lets it all go. Would love to have seen their wedding, talking to Debi, Jeanette, and Mo... Why didn't any of them try to get the two of them together? Why did it take their grown daughter and 27 years before they met back up? Anyway, such a great read.

One of the best if not THE best.

Very well written.

5 🌟

Bill S.

Extremely well written. Wish there was more but "All Good Things Must Come To An End". To bad I can only rate this as 5 stars, deserves much more. Definitely worth Fav and re-read.

Average story, you wrote the man as a saint who apparently never had any relationship with any woman since he was a teenager who basically created a shrine of his high school girlfriend. Yeah that’s a bit weird and honestly he sounds like exactly like most of the men from the Loving Wives category who get walked all over by their wives. He has little masculinity, he comes across as weak (taking beating for years and then just accepting it is not strength), and he is a 43 man who apparently is so pathetic that he was incapable of dating.

The story would have been FAR more believable if he was also divorced. As it is, you made him a pathetic weakling. It’s difficult to have any respect for a man like this. In real life people move on or try to move on with their lives and find others when they can’t get with who they want. That’s life and that’s normal behavior.

I don’t understand the desire of so many authors in this place to write the protagonist men as basically saints who otherwise stay celibate until it’s inconvenient. It’s terrible writing and really shows a lack of fundamental understanding of men. You tried to write a Disney style magical romance with a tragic past but all you succeeded in doing is writing a man who is a Gary Stu with no flaws.

Great story! In one of your earlier comments, you said you had rewritten the story. Have you posted it or published it somewhere else? If so, where?

I have never posted it.

sorry, just drags along. Meh.

i think its time for more chapters.

Even as long as it was you kind of needed to tie a bow on it, their wedding, a reunion of his family.

While reading it I thought that Dean might have known of indiscretions that the adults at the home might have had with each other so that was why he was beat (just what went through my mind). He seamed to have a good flow of money maybe a light touch on how he did accomplish it (I know not being married helped a lot). This story has so many avenues it could continue on. But like many stories here and life we can only assume it was "and they lived happily ever after." BTW I have seen saline IVs used to help with the over indulgence of alcohol Dehydration my self I have Never over indulged in alcohol so I have never had a hangover. Whereas he carried a torch for Carol it is not unheard of hell I still have love for EXs I have.

I liked it very much. Thank You for writing it.

One of the best ones I have read here, thanks

Please, please, please and a very BIG PLEASE, write the remaining parts to this story, I wanna find out how they get on.

I know this was 11 pages but it was a fast 11 pages that I wanted more of. A love story that had been interrupted for decades like in this story deserves a better wrap up. Still, 5 stars and faved.

Very well done. The passages where they first heard each other's voices over the phone were excellent.

The best love story I have ever read. The pace is outstanding and the dialogue is magicaL. You have a special gift for dialogue and you keep it in line with the way each character would normally speak and react. The psychology is commensurate with the subject and the sex of the people in the story. Congrats and thank you. Please have several other chapters with these same partners.

5* +++++

BJ

I just reread the story after six days and I am in complete agreement with my prior comment. (Look at the signature)

5*+++++

BJ

BJ: thank you.

Part 2, Please.

"The best way to support the authors on this site is to let them know what you think of their work, or just tell them hello and let them know you are a reader."

Hi, Doc. The story is excellent, but obviously has a sad side in years lost. The end is full of hope. Fits the Romance formula very well. 5/5 or 100/100 if you prefer.

I wish to apologize for all the hurtful things said in the comments by people with n understanding of real life. A wise man once said, "Meekness is strength under control." Rejoice in the appreciative comments of those who enjoy good literature.

I don’t comment on story much but this one I do

This is the best story I have had the pleasure of reading had me in tears serval time I I never done that before thank you

The men who beat him and the boys who beat him deserve some retribution. Then perhaps forgiveness. The men beating him for loving the girl feels more like sexual jealousy, not love.

Yes I know it’s fiction.

Absolutely beautiful story. Loved it. I'm glad there was no explicit sex in this story, it really didn't need it. The love and compassion between the 3 main characters is awesome. Excellent read. Thank you

Didn't want to stop... congratulations on a good story

Good one!

Beautiful story. Although, I got the impression it read (to a small extent) like a daytime TV drama. That was ok. I read through it and did not take stars away.

Wonderful story!

That was an awesome story, thank you for sharing it. Just awesome!