I Think You're My Dad

Anita asked her mother to drive her car that day. It was old and not as nice as Anita's little Honda, but she agreed. They shopped a little but bought nothing then had lunch at the buffet. Anita didn't care much for it, but she knew her mother loved the salad bar.

"Mom, when did you figure out I was with Dad?"

"I suspected when you told me about the karaoke. It wasn't so much what happened as it was the way you talked about it. I could hear how it made you feel. Then after seeing him in your sunglasses there was no doubt. What really has me perplexed is why I dreamt of him that night. Something had changed when I woke up Friday morning. I didn't hate him anymore. The dream reminded me of the love."

"Have you ever heard of Reiki?"

"It's one of those kooky faith healing things isn't it?"

"It's a healing thing at least. I have no idea how it works. Dad and I were sitting at the table after he sang. An older couple came over and joined us. The lady's name was Shelly. She's a Reiki practitioner. She told Dad that she picked up that there was something that needed healing. She asked to borrow something of yours. I gave her the diamond ring. After they left Dad and I talked about Reiki. He told me that Reiki Masters believed they could heal things from the past. She asked him how and when he gave you the ring. That was to give her a target in time to work. When she brought the ring back the next day, she left a note with it. She had done her healing Thursday night and had a good feeling about it. That was the night you had the dream."

"Anita, this is all too weird. You can't go back in time, Reiki or no Reiki."

"Mom, when you look up in the night sky what do you see?"

"I assume you're expecting me to say stars."

"Right. But you aren't seeing what the stars look like today. The light takes years, sometimes thousands of years, to get from those stars to our eyes. You're looking at the past not the present. If you can see the past maybe you can reach it. I don't know. What I do know is that something happened that night that allowed you to remember your love. It changed you somehow." Carol began humming the Twilight Zone music. Anita laughed. "Dad did the same thing after I pointed out the date on this." She handed her mother a folded piece of paper. She opened it and read.

"My darling D, I had a dream last night. I always thout we would have a daughter. She would have black hair, dimpels, and brown eyes. I was wrong. She's going to look like me but with gorgeous dimpels like you. She'll have your sence of humer, God forbid, and will be smarter than both of us. We'll call her Anita after my Mom. Just thout you should know. I'm wearing strawberrie lipstick tonight, so I hope you sneak a kiss or two at Town Hall. I love you. Your future forever wife, Carol. XXOO"

"Oh my God! I did write this. Mr. Ross caught us kissing that night, but he let us off. D loved that lipstick."

"I suspect it was the lips, not the lipstick he loved."

"Anita, can I keep this?"

"It belongs to Dad. I forgot to give it back to him."

"Forgot?"

"Okay, I liberated it from him. I planned to give it back after I showed you. Now you can give it back."

"Anita, a lot has changed. I don't hate him, and I realize now that I still love him but I'm not ready to face him. I don't know that I ever will be. You give it back to him."

Carol folded the paper and pushed it across the table to Anita. She looked it over for a moment then pushed it back.

"No, I'm not going to do that. You keep it."

"It's not mine to keep," Carol replied.

"Then just leave it on the table. The busboy will find a place to put it."

"You're being a shit."

"I learned stubborn from the best, Mom."

Carol put the paper in her purse.

"Anything else you wanted to do today?" Carol asked.

"Yep, one more stop. I'll drive."

They left the restaurant and Anita drove to the Ford dealership.

"What are we doing here?"

"Looking at Mustang convertibles."

"For what?"

"I'm giving you back your Fit and trading in this clunker for one."

"Anita, we've got to put our money back for school. We can't afford this."

"I've got it all worked out. Come on."

They had no more than stepped out of the car when the salesman came to them.

"Afternoon ladies. What can I help you with?"

Anita handed him the keys. "We'll need a trade in value for this. Then meet us at the Mustang convertibles."

"Give me about ten minutes," he replied grinning.

He was seeing dollar signs. Anita and Carol walked to the Mustangs. Four were convertibles.

"What color do we like, Mom?"

"Not black or dark blue. They show dirt too easily. The yellow is a bit much. How about we look at the white one?"

Anita opened the door and got in. The car was boring with black cloth interior. It was an automatic and had few bells and whistles. She climbed back out.

"Get in what do you think?"

"I looked at the sticker. I think it's way above our budget."

"Just get in and check it out. Please?"

Carol got in and immediately frowned.

"The black interior is like a dungeon. Since we're dreaming anyway it should have leather interior, five speed, CD, and GPS. Now let's go look at used ones."

Carol got out. The salesman walked up to them.

"How do you like it?" he asked.

"I'd rather have red and I don't like the black cloth interior. I'd also like a stick, CD and GPS," Anita replied.

"I have one in the showroom you should look at."

They walked into the show room. It was bright red with white leather interior. Anita and Carol grinned at each other and walked to it. The salesman opened the driver's door.

"Hop in, Mom."

Carol got in and Anita went around and sat in the passenger seat. Carol was love struck. It had everything.

"I love this. Now all we need to do is win the lottery," Carol chuckled.

"How much with our trade?" Anita asked.

"I can give you two thousand off the sticker with your trade," he replied.

"If you want to sell us the car find us someone that can do better than that," Anita replied.

"That's the best I can do."

"Then send your boss over here. He'll do better," Anita told him.

"Anita!" Carol scolded. She got out of the car and turned to the salesman. "Do you have any convertibles in the used cars?"

"I do. Follow me."

He turned and started toward the door. Carol followed him. When he opened the door, Carol turned to speak to Anita. She was still sitting in the Mustang.

"Anita, come on," Carol said.

Anita grinned. "I need someone over here that would like to sell this car!" she shouted.

Everyone turned to look at her. Carol and the salesman hurried back to her.

"Anita, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find someone that's interested in selling me this car."

Another man walked up to Anita.

"I'm Tom Givens, the sales manager. How can I be of service?"

"Would you like me to buy this car?" Anita asked.

"Yes, I would," he replied smiling.

"We've been offered two thousand for our trade. Your salesman has offered to take that off the sticker price but isn't willing to dicker."

"I see. How much are you willing to spend?"

"What's the sticker price? I haven't looked," she replied.

"Forty-two thousand," he answered.

"Then I'm willing to go thirty-five with my trade."

"I can go thirty-eight."

"Thirty-six," she said.

"Miss, we have to make a little on the car."

"Then work with me, thirty-six."

"I'll go thirty-seven but that's absolute rock bottom."

Anita got out of the car and walked around it. As she passed her mom, she winked then walked the rest of the distance back to the sales manager. She looked him in the eye for a moment.

"Thirty-six cash. Take it or leave it?"

"Sold!" he replied.

Carol rushed to her and pulled her away.

"Anita, what in heavens name are you doing? We don't have thirty-six thousand dollars."

Anita got her phone and as Carol watched she opened her banking app then showed her the balance. Carol grinned.

"Your father?"

"Uh huh. He told me to pay off all the school loans, cover the next two years of school and buy a new car."

"Knock yourself out then."

"It's gotta be in your name. Insurance on this baby would eat me alive."

"I'm sure it would."

They followed the sales manager into his office. Carol had just picked up the pen to sign the papers.

"Hold on, Mom," Anita told her. Anita looked at the man. "We'll also need nice floor mats and a full tank of gas." She was smiling.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"Nope."

"There are several styles in the parts area. Pick the set you want and either a Mustang shirt or hat. We'll fill the tank too."

"Hat or shirt for each of us?"

He laughed. "One for each of you. Can we sign now?"

"Oh, don't let me hold you up," she replied smiling.

Carol signed the papers and Anita transferred the full amount from her account. Minutes later the confirmation of payment came through.

"It'll take about an hour to prep the car. Pick out your mats, hats and Ts. I'll get you a box to transfer your things from your trade. Anything else, ladies?" Both shook their heads and then his hand. Anita and Carol started toward the door. "Anita?" he said. She turned to him. "If you're ever looking for work, come see me."

"I just might do that."

They were putting belongings in the box when her mother came up to her.

"Where did you get the ability to pull something like that off?" Mom asked.

"From a movie. I think it was Robin Williams. Pretty cool huh?"

Carol laughed. "I wish your father had seen that. He would have loved it."

Anita teared. "I've waited twenty-two years to hear you say something like that. Please talk to him."

"I will. I promise but not yet, okay?"

"You promise?"

"I promise."

They sat on the bench outside to wait. A short while later the sales manager drove the Mustang up and parked in front of them. He got out and handed Anita the keys. They shook hands again. Anita used the remote and opened the trunk. After closing it Carol headed toward the passenger door.

"Mom, you need to drive."

"This is your car, baby girl. You should drive."

"Not gonna happen. I don't know how to drive a stick."

"Then why'd..."

Anita started laughing and handed her the keys. "Put the top down too."

They got in the car. Carol started it up and put the top down. She adjusted the seat and mirrors.

"Ready?" Carol asked.

"Music, we need music," Anita replied.

Carol turned on the radio and froze. 'Never My Love' was playing.

"Still think it's all coincidence, Mom?"

Carol grinned as they backed out and drove away. They took the scenic route home, and they got a lot of appreciative looks as they went through town. When they parked in front of the house Carol turned to Anita.

"When we were sixteen, D and I were talking about the future. We planned our house. He told me one day he was going to buy me a red convertible. I'm glad he got to keep that promise with you."

"Correct me if I'm wrong here but whose name is the car in?"

"Mine but it's your car, not mine."

"I can't drive a stick."

"I'll teach you."

"I don't want to learn. I like my Fit."

"Anita..."

"Mom, Dad kept his promise. He's still got one more left to keep but you need to talk to him first."

"Anita, we were sixteen then. Neither of us are the same people we were. I don't know who he is now and he sure as hell has no idea who or what I am."

"Oh bull! You're still the same people only better. He loves you and you love him. You both have me. You belong together. You always have but you're going to at least have to crack the door to let him in. Then you can both take all the time you need to get reacquainted. There's no rush once you open the door, but you have to open it. Now, let's take some cheesecake pictures with the car."

They got out and took pictures with each of them posing with the car. Anita chose one of her mother sitting on the door with her bare legs extended toward the trunk. She sent the pic to her dad with the message 'You kept your promise.' Her reply came moments later.

'Absolutely beautiful! Nice car too. Did you get one?'

'I don't need one. My little Fit is perfect.'

'Thanks for helping me keep the promise. I love you!'

'My pleasure. I love you too!'

Anita considered telling him about the meeting tomorrow but decided she'd wait. A short time later Carol asked Anita if she had sent her dad a picture of herself with the car. She asked her mom to send one since they were on her phone. Carol looked through the pictures and sent it to him via text. His reply came back about fifteen minutes later.

'She's beautiful like her mother. I like your car.'

'Thank you. It's Anita's car.'

'That's not what Anita says.'

Carol smiled. She may not have opened the door, but she had at least looked through the peep hole. This was their first exchange of words in over twenty-seven years. It was short. His first words were flirty, and he didn't seem to mind at all that his daughter had just spent forty thousand dollars buying her a car. "What kind of man has he become?" she wondered. She knew she loved the boy she'd known so many years ago. Anita loved the man. That was obvious. Would she? Carol had promised to contact him, and she would, but not yet. Everything was moving so fast and she was still afraid because she would have to tell him the secret she had kept for twenty-three years. He knew part of it already, but not the worst part. "What would happen then?" she wondered.

Anita did agree to let her mother teach her to drive a stick, but not yet. Maybe in a few days. They spent a quiet evening together. Anita sat on the couch reading the latest Stephen King novel. Carol was in the recliner opposite her with a paperback. Anita watched her mom. Her eyes weren't scanning the pages, they were just staring at them. Anita smiled realizing that mom wasn't turning pages either. She was deep in thought.

"Thinking about him, aren't you?"

"Um, what?"

"You're thinking about Dad, aren't you?"

"I was uh, thinking about what to wear tomorrow."

"You were not," Anita chuckled.

"Are you a mind reader now?"

"I'm a Mom reader. When you're deciding what to wear you open the closet doors and sit on the foot of your bed looking at the options. You were thinking about Dad."

"Maybe I was making out the grocery list, smartie pants."

"You do grocery shopping on Wednesdays. This is Thursday. Admit it."

"Maybe I was. What of it?"

"Oh nothing."

"Don't you 'oh nothing' me. What's on your mind?"

"You've been dying to ask me about him ever since I got home."

"I have not."

"Have too." Anita laughed.

"Fine! So, what's he like?" She closed the book and sat up in the chair.

"He's got eyes that seem to look into your soul. And when you speak to him you know every word is being heard and understood. His smile is the real thing. There's nothing fake about it. When he speaks. I don't know, you just want to listen to him. He'd be perfect recording audio books. Manly voice but sweet and authoritative too but gentle. He's smart, really smart. Not just book smart either. He understands people and the world. He sees beauty in things the rest of us overlook. He's lonely, and you can tell right off that he's missing the one thing that would complete him.

He's movie star handsome. Strong arms, and his hands...I don't know what it is. They're manly but soft and gentle. When he holds your hand you just don't want to let go. And when he hugs you, oh heavens, you're being hugged. It's not hard, you just sort of melt into him. He's a quiet man by nature. I'm sure I drove him nuts with all my questions the first couple of days, but he was patient and answered everything honestly and openly. He'd make a great teacher.

He's an excellent cook. Completely comfortable in the kitchen and has the most beautifully put together kitchen I've ever seen. He picks up after himself and does little things for others that they probably don't even notice. He's been in his house for three years and I was his first ever guest. The girls he works with adore him. They try to include him in things they do outside of work, but he rarely goes. Alex said he's a loner. She works with him in the clinic. The patients love him. She said many of them refuse to see anyone else.

I told you, I think, about the pictures on his wall. In his bedroom you have a wall dedicated just to you. His furniture is nice but as far as decorating he needs a woman's touch, pillows, pictures, that kind of stuff. He loves plants and has a bunch indoors, but on the patio, he's got veggies, herbs, and flowers everywhere.

He didn't ask much about you. That surprised me and I asked him about it. He said it was none of his business and that if you wanted him to know you would tell him. You did come up a lot. I told him what an ass Chad had been. He was surprised that you put up with that for ten years. He held doors for me. Offered his hand to help me up. Offered his arm when we walked. It wasn't an act either. He really is a gentleman.

Mom, if I could pick a man for you of all the ones I've ever met. I'd pick him. Heck, I hope I can find one even close when my time comes. He's set a new standard for me in just the few days I was there."

"Anita, why would a man like that even want someone like me?"

"Why would a man like that ever want anyone who wasn't like you? You're just like he is. The only thing he has that you don't is the degrees. You're the perfect complement to each other."

"He's a success in everything he touches."

"Except one thing. Dad told me success, happiness and peace all come from inside. Not what you accomplish or have. You've invested your life raising me and if I must say so myself you've done one hell of a job. Everyone that knows you adores you. You're caring, honest and you're everything you've taught me that a woman is supposed to be."

"Anita, in your eyes I could probably walk across Grand Lake."

"And not get your shoes wet, but that's not the point. You are all those things. Now's your chance to choose to love and be loved. Whatever you think this horrible secret is, it won't matter. Dad and I love you no matter what."

"That's easy to say."

"Mom, history books are full of people who've done worse things than you could have possibly done. Their children, husbands and wives may not have liked what they did, but they still loved them. Love isn't something that just goes away. If it's real love it stays love."

"When did you get so knowledgeable about love?"

"I was raised by a very loving woman."

* * * * *

Chapter 05

Carol laid awake for a long time thinking about what Anita had said. Maybe there was at least some truth to it. She had been a success raising Anita with the exception of exposing her to Chad for ten years but that had shown Anita what wasn't good in a relationship. As far as being a person, she had tried to be a good one. There were four things in her life she regretted. The way she hadn't given D a chance to talk to her in the drug store. Being a party to Dean's rape, even unknowingly. Keeping Anita and Dean apart for all those years. And the fourth one. The one that everything could hinge on now. The one that ate away at her every time she thought of it.

She woke up early and still tired then went to the front porch to drink her coffee. Carol smiled looking at the shiny red Mustang in her driveway. She picked up her cup and walked to it looking it over. The sticker was still on the window. She read through the specifics. There were a lot of things she had no clue what they even were but other things she had no idea it had. It would be fun learning all of them.

"She's a babe, huh?" Anita called from the porch.

"Beautiful," Carol replied.