I Understand

"Yeah, yeah, you hope I understand," John coldly spoke. "I do understand." He stopped eating and pushed himself back from the table. As he stood up he told Diane, "I've lost my appetite."

As he walked away he told her, "You look very nice for him, I guess you couldn't wait until tomorrow. When you see David Summers tonight, tell him to drop dead for me."

John disappeared into the living room and the sound of the TV filled the dining room. Diane sat quietly at the table with her head in her hands. For the first time, she seriously reconsidered her actions. After several minutes she stood up and cleaned the table. This was not the time to hesitate, she needed to stay true to her feelings. She texted Janice, "Can we meet earlier? I'm leaving in five minutes."

John heard the front door open and close. He drank his beer and looked at the TV, he realized he had been sitting there for 20 minutes and had no idea what channel he was watching. He felt the sadness pressing on his chest, it felt like a great weight making it almost impossible for him to breathe.

John pulled the box out of his coat pocket. He popped two of the pills in his mouth and chased them with the last of the beer. For the first time in his life, he took sleeping pills. He knew he would never be able to go to sleep without help. He also knew he would need all his strength for Saturday morning.

Diane arrived first at the bar and got a table for the three of them. As she waited she noticed the scene at the bar. Men and women were doing the dance of seduction; but to Diane, it seemed like a dance of desperation and loneliness. Was this to be her fate? She was saved from her thoughts by the arrival of her friends.

Diane watched her two friends approach her table. She noticed they appeared to be on a mission and braced herself for their onslaught.

Lisa sat down and looked at Diane, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you out of your fucking mind? You are going to cheat on your husband with some piece of shit asshole motherfucker from work? Are you going through menopause or started taking drugs or fell and hit your head? This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard someone doing and I used to think you were one of the smartest people I knew. If you go through with this you have to be the dumbest cunt bitch I have ever met."

Diane simply answered her friend with, "Good evening to you too Lisa. Yes, I'm doing fine how about you?"

Lisa just looked at her friend. Diane could see the anger and hurt in her eyes.

Diane turned to Janice, "Your turn."

Janice shook her head, "You know where I stand on this adventure of yours. I would say more but I'm afraid I wouldn't be as polite as Lisa was."

Diane smiled a sad smile, "You think you could cuss better than Lisa."

Janice replied without a smile, "Well, no one can cuss better than Lisa, but she left out the words, slut, whore, cheater, adulteress, idiot, and maybe worst of all disappointment. But there is one thing I do need to tell you. I think you are planning on making the biggest mistake of your life but I love you and I will be here to help you no matter what you do."

Lisa just shook her head, "Shit, Damn, Fuck, what you want to do is so wrong and so stupid, but I'll be here for you too. Just to let you know I will be saying 'I told you so' over and over."

Diane hugged her friends and said, "Thank you for your love. I know you can't support what I'm doing but it is wonderful to know I can count on both of you afterward. You both know I don't do anything halfway. I have committed and it's time for me to bring this to its natural conclusion."

Lisa pleaded softly, "Diane there is nothing natural about cheating, and being committed to cheating is the opposite of the true meaning of the word commitment."

Diane sat quietly for a few minutes and then stood up and said, "I need to finish my errands for tomorrow. I have a bottle of wine coming, please stay and drink in memory of me."

Diane completed her errands and pulled up to a dark house. She collected her thoughts and then sent Janice a lengthy text message. She knew Janice was angry with her but also knew her friend would help her.

Diane opened the trunk of her car. She realized she couldn't keep her purchases in the car overnight, they would be too cold to wear tomorrow. She would hide them in the hall closet downstairs. Afterwards, she slipped into the bed beside John and tried to go to sleep.

That night sleep wouldn't come to Diane. Finally at 3 am she got out of bed and went downstairs. She saw the wedding album on the coffee table and figured if John could look at their album she could too. After two pages, she closed the album and wept. She had to make him understand.

At 5 am she abandoned the idea of sleep and went into the guest bathroom to shower. After showering she put on some of the lingerie from VS and then opened the garment bag and put on the beautiful item inside it. She pulled out the suitcase she had packed earlier and carried it out to the car. Then she put the Victoria's Secret bag next to the suitcase.

She walked into the kitchen and wrote a short note to John, she chuckled to herself, she was leaving him a Dear John letter. She put the note on the coffee maker, turned off the lights, and walked out to the car. She pulled out of the driveway, determined to finish what she had started.

John woke and looked at the alarm clock. It was 6:15 and as he turned he realized he was sleeping alone. The thought occurred to him that she hadn't waited for tonight, he had pushed her to David Summers. The picture of her laying in David Summers bed struck him to the core.

For the first time, he second-guessed himself. Should he have just let her have one night to 'experience' another man? She had promised to be only his after that one night. Had he lost a lifetime of happiness over his ego and pride?

As John pondered his plight, he realized he could never love her again if she went to David Summers. He had lived with her putting their children first because that is what a mother is supposed to do, but he could never live with her putting another man before him. They had both earned, over the course of 22 years, the respect and loyalty of the other. She would expect nothing less, he wouldn't accept anything less. He hoped she was in the house, maybe she had slept in one of the other bedrooms.

John checked all the bedrooms and found no sign of her coming home last night. As he walked into the kitchen he saw the note on the coffeemaker. He opened the letter and read the brief note, "Please understand" was all she had written.

Falling back into one of the kitchen chairs, John began to cry. He had feared this, but in his heart, he had expected her to stay, to forget this crazy idea, to remain his wife.

After starting a pot of coffee he went upstairs. He quickly showered and dressed, then filled a duffle bag with some clothes and went downstairs. John filled his travel mug and then his thermos with coffee and walked to the front door. After taking a long last look at the house that was his home, he turned off the lights and closed the door.

The cold morning air hit him as he walked down the steps. He had forgotten to start the car but thought the cold would help wake him up and maybe bring him out of the funk he was feeling.

As he walked to his car he realized it was running. He opened the back door, and as he put his bag in, he saw the suitcase and Victoria's Secret bag in the backseat. He looked into the passenger seat and saw Diane asleep in the car. He softly closed the back door and stopped as he reached for the door handle. He cried tears of joy at the sight of his wife, his love. He knew now that they had a chance.

John took a deep breath and opened his car door. As he sat in the car Diane stirred and looked at John. "Good morning," she softly whispered as she wiped her eyes.

"Good morning," John answered. After a short pause, he asked, "How long have you been out here?"

Diane looked at the car clock and replied, "About two hours. I couldn't sleep and then I was worried you would leave without me so I decided to wait in the car. I filled the car up and got us a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for the trip."

John opened the donut box and said, "There are only seven donuts in here."

Diane was finally awake and replied, "The dozen were for both of us, and I have already had mine."

Smiling, John grabbed one of the donuts and let it melt in his mouth. He told her, "This will hold me over until we have breakfast at the Virginia Diner. How do their Country ham and creamed biscuits sound to you?"

Diane shook her head, "I'm not dressed to go in the Virginia Diner."

John was confused, "Diane, the Virginia Diner doesn't have a dress code, you can wear just about anything in there."

Diane smiled, "I know you can wear just about anything but you can't wear just about nothing." As she finished speaking she opened her coat to show John the purple lingerie set."

"Well, that is just about nothing," John agreed. "Is that a new winter coat too?"

Diane replied, "Yes, I exchanged that dress for this great coat. In case you didn't check the Victoria Secret bag, I returned the other lingerie and purchased these items just for you."

Diane put her hand on his chin and lifted his head to look into her eyes. "This outfit and the body under it is for your eyes and your eyes only for all the days and nights of our lives."

After a short pause, she continued," I'm sorry for the hell I have put you through these past months. You were right about just about everything. There were only two things you were wrong about. Last night I dressed for you and no one else and I did meet Janice and Lisa. The second thing you were wrong about was about me having sex with David. David never entered our bedroom. I didn't close my eyes to think about him but I couldn't look you in the eyes because I was so ashamed of what I wanted to do. I'm embarrassed to admit the shame I felt didn't stop me from planning to be with someone else."

She looked at him and quietly said, "I do truly understand now."

He kissed her and put the car in gear. There would be much to talk about, a lot of work ahead of them to repair their marriage, but his heart leaped with joy as he realized she did finally understand.

As John passed the Virginia Diner on Route 460 he looked over at Diane. She had fallen back asleep shortly after they reached the highway. He hoped he would have to spend all day Monday undoing what he had done on Friday. They would have much to talk about and he realized that any honest conversation would have to include his confession.

John remembered back to that evening seven years ago. He was in San Francisco at the quarterly corporate meeting. At the time he was a division head and his gamble had paid off tremendously for his company. Foreign companies were buying up their American competitors but John had seen an opportunity. He championed the idea of buying an Italian company with great engineers but severe cash problems. His mentor, the CEO, had Ok'd the purchase and it was a great success. The purchase brought in several teams of experienced engineers in the product field they were having difficulty entering. A large plus was the access this company gave the rest of the corporation to the European Market and the Italian company's established presence in the Chinese market. The deal would end up being worth billions. It was the crowning achievement of the CEO's career and put John on the corporate fast track.

Diane was back home in Virginia with the boys at a school band concert that night so John was celebrating his success with his coworkers and especially with Debi Maris, a beautiful marketing rep from another division. Debi and him had a long term "friendly flirting" type of business relationship. He had drunk just enough to lower his inhibitions but not enough to lower his libido. They danced much closer than a married man should with someone other than his wife. She pressed her sex into his leg, and rubbed his erection through his pants. When she put her panties in his open hand, they headed up to her room. In the elevator, they kissed and groped at each other. He freed her breasts as the elevator door opened and they quickly walked to her room. Debi tossed him her blouse and bra just before opening the door to her room. He watched as she unzipped her skirt and stood nude in the open doorway, reaching for his hand.

But John couldn't move. He realized it was physically impossible for him to enter that room. He knew his erection had left him. For the first time in a few hours, he thought of his wife and the wonderful family he had at home. He looked at the beautiful Debi Maris and couldn't think of a single reason to go into her room. He backed up two steps and then ran, literally ran, back to the elevator. He entered his room and showered, wanting to get rid of Debi's scent.

It was 1 am at their home in Richmond but he called Diane, he needed to hear her voice. After several rings, she sleepily answered the phone. John assured Diane that he was fine and nothing bad had happened then he told her the good news. He told her of the success of his gamble and the promotion with a huge raise. He cried as she excitedly told him how proud she was of him and how she knew he would be successful. She told him how much she loved him. He realized through his tears that he had almost shared one of the greatest moments of his life with the wrong woman. Diane's opinion and happiness was all that mattered to him.

As John drove to the beach he knew he had to tell her. He had to make her understand why he truly understood what she had been feeling. He had been in her position, which was why he could listen to her and honestly say 'I understand.'

Once Diane recommitted to her marriage, David Summers ceased to be of any interest to her, John or this author. But inquiring minds want to know so...

Epilogue

David Summers sat alone in Fred Davis' office at Richards and Sons. Fred was the vice president of HR at Richards and David had been sent to his office the moment he walked in that Monday morning. He didn't understand why he was here. OK, he had missed a couple of work deadlines recently in his quest for Diane but felt he could make up the work quickly.

The meeting had messed up his plans for this morning. He needed to talk with Diane about what had happened last weekend. Not only had she stood him up but she had sent her two friends, Janice and Lisa, to tell him. David remembered being afraid of that Lisa woman. His father had spent 25 years in the Navy but he couldn't hold a candle to the way that woman could cuss. She had embarrassed him right there in the lobby of the Jefferson Hotel. He remembered that even hotel security seemed afraid to intervene.

David looked around the room and his eyes focused on a photo hanging on the wall. He stood up and walked to the photo which showed Fred Davis and another man posing next to a citation sized tuna. A wave of uneasiness gripped him as he recognized the other man in the photo. He had never met the man but had seen his photo many times on Diane Thomas' desk, the man in the photo was John Thomas.

As he turned to go back to his seat, he froze as he saw the picture on Fred Davis' desk. It was a family portrait of Fred, his three boys and his smiling wife. He now knew the last name of the woman who had cussed him so thoroughly, Lisa Davis. He now understood why he was here.

Thank you for reading this little story. I would like to make a suggestion before you move on. I recommend you read the story again; but before starting, get a bottle of your favorite beer, wine, liquor, or in my case a large package of Almond M&M's. Now, start reading the story again and every time you read the word understand or understood take a sip, shot or bite of your choice. I can guarantee it will be fun and my writing will get better the more you drink.