All Comments on 'I Wanna Mommy fo' Chwismus'

Perfect. Thankyou.

perfect Christmas love story

Loved it. 5 stars.

Very sweet story. Now I need to dry my eyes and get back to work. 5*

Very nice Christmas tale. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

See ... Santa does make "mommies"

Wonderful story. Truly Christmas magic!

5

What a sweet fantastic story! Best of luck in the competition! Five stars all the way.

Cheers

SAGE

PS: Happy Holidays to you and yours!

10 stars isn't even close. Beautiful story, and maybe next Christmas, mommy and daddy will give her a brother or sister, or both. Don't ever try to hurt Eve's beautiful daughter Mandy, or her husband!

Excellent. 5 stars!

Merry Chrstmas indeed!

Aww! What a sweet sweet story. Stars to infinity.

Merry Chwismus! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wonderful! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about love, patience, grieving, parenting, and Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. This is an easy five stars.

Merry Christmas to all.

I’m a sucker for love stories. It was so wonderfully done. Thank you for your Christmas gift.

Nice story and I shed a couple of tears. Very well done. I don’t know why anyone would say it was disappointing, unless they don’t like a happy ending

A well written love story is good for the soul. Thank you. 5*

Well written, beautifully paced, great character development, and an appealing little girl - what's not to love? Of course it's sappy and predictable - it's a Christmas story! And a very well-written one, indeed!

A well written story and well developed characters. I loved it, exceptionally fluid storyline and I had tears flowing in parts as I read it. Being a 68 year old male it is kind of unusual for me that it occurs reading a story. I really enjoyed reading this one.

Delightful story!

5

i love this story if they had 10 stars this one is 11 star in my book

Wonderful, sweet story - 5-stars.

Lovely heart-warming story. Well done

Very nice Christmas story, although I still want to kick Cameron's ass a little bit! 5/5

Thank you for this Christmas story. Sorry I could only give it five stars. Because it deserved more.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Good "feelgood" with just the right amoint amount of descriptive sex.

We together are sooooo misty with such a beautiful love story to make needy hearts swoon ❤❤❤

Thank you for touching us our hearts so deeply

[07.12.23]

Top Tier!

Cliched but the little twist at the end after she gave him the Thanksgiving ultimatum was nice.

11/10!!!!!

Beautiful Story.

Loved the story. It was great. It was a great love story

Enchantingly sweet little tale.

Not sure about the phonetic writing of the little girl’s lisp. I know that it formed somewhat of a punchline at the end but it was pretty annoying to read.

Was enjoying the story but lost interest when Cam explained his wifes passing "over a glass of wine". That's just wrong! This is a Christmas story! It should've been either hot chocolate eggnog or warm apple cider. What's the deal with ALL writers having their characters drink some form of alcohol ALL OF THE TIME?! I'm almost 60 and I don't drink OR smoke. Disgusting habits. 2*

What a great Christmas story!

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

A very enjoyable read. I like the writing style!

I'm speechless. What everyone else has written. Wonderful story.

Wonderful story with a beautiful ending.

Gave it a 5☆

Who does not love a love story !

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Not just 5 stares but the whole Milky Way

Great story

I thought that the grandmothers would show up at the end but they were there in Eve's heart!

GOOD!!!! Really good! 5*

Excellent, especially loved the ending.

Beautiful Christmas story!! Big 5!

Nice.

Best little present ever! ;}

THC

Lovely story, Trionyx! Very well written and it brought a tear (ok, more than one) to my eyes. 5* and best wishes in the contest.

Nothing beats a classic romance with good characters and a story that flows well. Cheesy, maybe, but why not, it’s Christmas

I agree with SouthernCrossfire, lovely story which also brought tears to my eyes at the end.

Cam is a typical man, needing to lose something before he can admit he needs it. I blame his broken X chromosome! [all males are mutants if you know your genetics ;-) ]

I really appreciate it this story involving Cameron, Eve and Mandy. What I really enjoyed most was that everything you proposed, you addressed and you fulfilled. I recently read a story from another author on here that proposed several things but the author in question only dealt with one of those three things, and it was remarkably absent of a complete development. When I comment on something, I like to analyze the entire story, not just how it felt, or how much I enjoyed the overall theme of it; I look at the whole picture, and I feel like you invested a very nice bit of yourself in the story, and I did read the comments, which reflected many of the readers did notice that as well. So definitely, congratulations on a job well done overall!

***

I like the slightly different take on this, which was basically the single guy with a young daughter. When I read some of the comments after reading your story, I actually did get the sense that some of the story did kind of feel like a Hallmark movie... but I didn't feel like it was excessively so by any means. I don't really know that except for maybe some small part of the story, like I'm talking maybe 5% of the time, that I thought it was sappy or predictable. Cameron was the father grieving over Suzanne, and you made Mandy feel very real in the sense that I don't know that I've ever heard a little girl wants a mommy for Christmas, so that premise was very unique, at least in my reading experience here. So you started with something quite novel, and just on that piece alone, you succeeded very well.. because it wasn't like you somehow used Mandy to draw them together unnaturally. Sometimes the little girl can be the plot device by which you bring two people together, but they also have to be the right people. Now, I have to say that I don't believe the odds being incredibly high of any single man with a child finding a college student that just happens to be studying child psychology to actually happen. So yes, there's an element of convenience here, but it's not out of the field of reason, because so many female students would take something like Elementary Education, and hence child psychology would not be out of the question. So I can buy they're pairing on that basis. The other thing is that you draw Eve as very responsible, and while this is not unheard of, I think if there were any one shortfall in your story, I would have to say it would have been about explaining why she was so responsible. Was she this way because her parents drove her to be this way? Was she this way because she was a little bit of a wild child in high school, had a bad experience but yet had an experience that snapped her back to reality sharply, and that's why she is such a stickler for details and her grades? Did you employ some type of beta reader or readers? I'm thinking that if somebody had gone over that part, they would have asked that you spend more time to developing Eve's reason or reasons for becoming this way and being this way. This is especially true because unless the average person has had their head in the sand somewhere, no one's missed the news reports of students at the average college being pretty much party hounds... so you see what I mean? If there were a true falling- down point in the story, I would say that was it.. but by no means is it some type of a serious omission that derails story, nor is it something that such an oversight that I would deduct a star from. The way you employed was very believable, and the fact that Eve bought Mandy a beginning readers book is such a sweet and loving gesture, because one of the best qualities you can still in child is a love of learning, Plus a curiosity to go with it! You succeeded brilliantly on using that one point to the story is advantage, and unless I miss my guess the voting is over.. and I'm just going to be point blank direct.. you deserved to finish much higher in the voting if it is already over with a story, because sometimes I see fives given away rather frivolously, without any teeth to the analysis of the story, because frankly too many readers concentrate only on how they felt about reading it, which is very subjective and frankly rather worthless as any type of rating tool for any author. Needless to say I digress.. so getting back to the story, you even approximated Mandy's speech about as well as I've seen done for her age, and she wasn't always the balling, sniveling, uncontrollable little wretch that a little girl of her age might be because she doesn't have a mother.. frankly some fathers under the best circumstances would have no clue how to tackle or manage. So, I felt you sold and developed Mandy very well.

***

When addressing Eve and Cameron as a couple, you directed both according to their respective needs and characters at the appropriate times. In other words, Cam was grieving former husband, but yet he was still a man. You did draw Eve as more assertive and perhaps to some females, a shade aggressive? However she was not truly pushy, and she was very understanding with giving him time to try to get over his dead wife. I felt you painted the angst over that loss quite well, and you didn't overdo it at any time. I even felt the time elements you used as milestones accurately reflected about how long it might have taken for a man in a similar circumstance to at least get to a point where he could handle a new relationship. Now, the only part I'm a shade unsure about as well.. would be how aware he was of Mandy's needs. Now it's not like because he's a man he has no idea.. of course not! The thing is he almost seems more like a woman in that way, because women with their children tend to be very practically minded, so perhaps a couple of readers here and there sense that, although I didn't see them comment about it. I did think however that you largely drew him accurate to what a guy with a young little girl might be at at such a stage in his life.

***

Certainly when you force them apart by Eve taking the action she did, I would say you employed that well as a catalyst to bring them together. This is probably the part though where some said it felt like a Hallmark movie, since Hallmark loves to take these romance stories, develop them with predictable elements, often with overly sweet and convenient plot devices, then very close to the end.. something like about 15 minutes before the movie would end, give them this ultimatum yet somehow bring them together in a way that's too rushed and too easy to see coming. I will give you certainly the benefit of the doubt on this one, because from the stories I've read you've not resorted to this tactic as something that you needed to resolve them. I would also say that having Mandy basically present the gift, and then to get Santa in on the act, was a nice little touch.. at least one that I've not seen nor anticipated. So uniting them in this way I felt was novel enough for me, and really the entire story was charming, considerate, and largely very well developed. I guess the only other thing I would say that could have been kind of off to some readers.. would have been that the two mothers both didn't pounce all over Eve for being in love with their son / son in law. They did seem to lack a little bit of that very well-known female intuition, or at least motherly intuition, that is usually always the case. But at no point would I say any of the three things that I've noticed even combine together, would detract from this story being a hands down five!

***

Definitely thank you for a very well-written story, with nothing significant underdeveloped nor left out, nor unaddressed. While on the balance there were a couple of things that you could have improved.. and your storytelling we're definitely not lacking, as well as the overall development of the storyline, the characters, and the point you clearly wanted to reach. The point of the story or at least the contest, was to have this kind of let's say effect on people, and I think you managed all the elements well in the best sense of all the stories I've read so far. Well done!

Excellent description of relationship development, tasteful description of intimacy and good plot tension. Thank you.

A real good read, set at a great pace. Well plotted and very well scripted. You put a great deal of time and effort into this and it shows. Thank you.

I almost didn't read this story, but I'm glad I did.

Nice story progression and relationship development.

Hopefully there will be a follow-up story in the future.

This was really nice. Thank you.

Well, another example of your HUGE Talent and Outstanding Creativity, THANK YOU ! !

If "One" were to scroll down to a comment below, "they" can observe what I think may be the longest and most positive observation of your talent and creativities. That in itself may define your "Peer Group", in which you may not have many peers.

BEST WISHES !

Eve needed to tell Cam "I'll marry you, but I reserve the right to tell you whenever you're being a fucking idiot by taking me for granted. A MONTH without taking to me at all, even after you INSTANTLY realized what a fool you are, and then you ambush me with this!?!?! Seriously, you need to be slapped across the face."

5 stars. Because there have been times in my life when I was exactly that kind of idiot, too.

The author knows how to pull tears.