I Was Wished For?!

[Features: Genie, yaoi, gay, femboy, isekai, Literal Comedy theme, memes]

I was having a bit of a crummy day all said. It was suppose to be nice and relaxing, just me, hanging out, doing as I normally did, playing some games. A fun battle royale game and I did do that but after the second hour, I was starting to feel pretty annoyed at losing so much.

I put it down and it was like life just caught up to me all at once.

27, male, very slightly fat with flabby arms and a bit of a stomach, no real job prospects, just working at a minimum wage grocery store stocking shelves. My last relationship was 5 years ago and I literally hadn't gotten laid since. The closest thing I had was getting a bit closer to a few women online and either mutually masturbating or swapping nude pics with the few people who didn't really mind. It never really went anywhere and it was far and few in between at that. I was staying at a cheap, and shitty, studio, basically making enough for bills and a little bit extra.

My life was going nowhere fast, already was nowhere. Suicide had reared its ugly head on those particularly dark days but I think everyone has those days. They are just harder when you're alone for so long. I wasn't even sure I had friends. I had people I sometimes talked to online but, irl? Nothing. And those people were cool but there hadn't exactly been a lot of talk of us ever meeting up or anything like that. No, they were just online friends. Still, better than having absolutely nothing.

Sigh.

You'd think there'd be some grand realization, some clinching action, some final last moment or straw and maybe there would be. But it's been 5 years since I more or less arrived at this point. And truthfully, it didn't feel bad all the time. Which made it even worse. You can fight and escape a bad situation if it pushes you too far, theoretically. Most people just don't escape situations where they're comfortable and content. I had my moments, of sudden understanding, of trying to push myself to work out, to find a better job, to get a girlfriend.

It never worked out for long. I burnt out pretty quickly. Working out every day was exhausting, finding a new job felt like trying to move to a whole other country by this point, and as for a girlfriend? How. Seriously, how? I tried a dozen dating apps, and I looked alright, I even went as far as to look up tips and try and take better pictures and bios and used them all every day and, nothing. I started believing I was just horribly ugly or there was something wrong with me. It was only those super rare moments I had met a horny woman that had complimented my nude body that let me not sink into total despair. Well, usually.

And all anyone ever said was to "wait. It just kinda happens." and "not try so hard." I hated that advice more than anything else in the whole world. Waiting? Really? You plan on dying alone I guess. It had been 5 years and sitting on my ass had clearly not helped me suddenly get a loving girlfriend or even a friends with benefits or anything. You can't just wait and expect the world to finally give you what you want. Nothing else in the entire universe works like that. And as for not trying so hard, was I? I really didn't know. Sure, I was only multiple dating apps and I was trying but was that really too hard? Why not spread your chances as wide as possible? And that was all the advice I was ever given. "Wait, you can't force it, it just kinda happens." and "don't try so hard, you can't push it too much." Neither of those pieces of advice actually helped me get anywhere at all. I was in the dark. There was no one, there had been no one, that had ever told me the right way to accomplish what I wanted.

Sigh

"All I want is to be happy again."

I sat back in my chair... then fell to the ground.

Owwww.

What the fuck happened to my chair?

I blinked and looked around.

And began to nearly immediately panic, at a rapid pace.

My chair hadn't magically disappeared from underneath me, oh no. If only, really.

No.

I wasn't in my room anymore, at all.

All around me was a pretty decent, moderately sized, bedroom, with lots of anime figurines, posters, and etc etc all around. It looked like a rich otaku's wet dream. They weren't from any anime I'd ever heard of, no, that wasn't the only thing that drew my eye. They all sounded and looked absolutely ridiculous.

"Gut blaster the 5th prodigy."

A separate poster of a woman literally jacking off a futa. Who hands hentai posters in their room?

An anime figurine dressed in glass and with a honest to god speech bubble attached yelling "this isn't even my final destiny form!"

And everything seemed to more or less be in shades of white and pink. Not everything, everything, like some sorta horrible weird nightmare, but like the person's who room this was absolutely loved that specific color combination.

I slowly stood up and turned around and finally got a look at the other side of the room. I had only been looking in mostly a single direction. And I had to correct something about my earlier thought.

This was not a moderately sized bedroom at all. No, I hadn't landed in the middle, just near the desk and computer.

This was an absolutely massive bedroom the size of the "living room" of my studio apartment.

And as I turned around, my heart nearly froze in a combination of fear and confusion.

I don't know why, but I had figured I was alone. Maybe I was still reeling from, what, teleportation maybe? Who knows. But I was most certainly not alone. Standing in front of me were not 1, but 2 people.

The first seemed vaguely familiar. They had pink hair in an interesting, anime-esk style but it looked almost unnervingly natural. She had, of all things, a pink and white... school uniform? Definitely a Japanese school uniform. Pink skirt with white lines running through it, white shirt, pink uhh whatever the thing that goes over the neck and shirt is, a big pink bow on the front of it, and some black bows in their hair. They were, also, wearing white thigh-highs.

This girl had picked a theme and done her best to absolutely stick to it. She was thin and utterly flat chested. I nearly kicked myself for having my eyes pulled to that fact and moved on to the, arguably, much more interesting person in the room.

Because they had no legs.

Floating in front of me was the upper torso of a person, wearing nothing but a bra and various jewelry, with her lower half literally being smoke and coming from of all things, a lamp.

I was standing in front of an actual fucking genie. Was I? Was I really or had I been knocked out from that fall into this strange world?

I got my answer in probably the most ridiculous way possible.

"Master!"

That was what the pink-haired girl yelled at me, in jubilation, like they wanted to literally throw themselves at me, and my mind had nearly left the station trying to understand what the fuck was going on. I, of course, utter the single most useful phrase in the human language.

"What... the fuck?"

Belatedly, a small part of me recognized myself as being a bit hostile but a much much larger part of me was utterly confused and not in a real position to care.

The genie turned to me and I had a spike of fear wedge itself deep down around my chest.

She looked at me and winced, with a clearly guilty look on her face. Her next words did absolutely nothing to make me feel any better about what the fuck was going on.

"I am so, so sorry about this."

What the fuck, continued, again.

Before I could formulate a good, proper, response to whatever the hell all of this was, the pink-haired girl started talking again.

"Welcome to my world Master! I tried to freshen up the place. There's only a few acts of mass terrorism and they're all on the other side of the globe!"

What.

Before I could parse out that statement anymore, the.... Genie?... started talking, looking pained.

"Look, you deserve an explanation. You're kinda, here by, accident?"

"An... accident?"

"He's not here by accident!" The girl said and literally pouted and puffed up their cheeks. I swear, they were starting to go from vaguely, to incredibly familiar and I just could not place it.

"Well, yes, but, anyway, so. Ughh. Look. I am a Genie."

And she looked at me, waiting for me to take that in, before she continued.

"And someone made a wish to come here."

"I didn't make any wish to show up here."

I mean... I had just asked to be happy but...

"No. Not you. We're in, well this, the wish was simple. They asked to be in a certain Comedy Hentai as the main protagonist."

Excuse me, what?

"And that went all well and good. They're out there having a good time, becoming a harem king but, well, I accidentally left my lamp alone and untended to. And Astrolo here found it."

Holy shit, it was all coming to me. My moment of clarity has awakened. It took the name and the double braided long strip of hair going down their back as they turned their head to really place why they seemed so familiar.

There was an anime, I'd never watched it, called "Destiny" about some nonsense or something. Honestly, even as far as animes went, it had a decently ridiculous premise. Something about literal servants and masters. Sounded like a massive slave anime to me, all said and done. But then again, I'd never actually seen it so who really knows.

And one of the characters in it had become a meme. A massive meme. Because, because they looked like a girl but was actually a...

"And he made a wish."

A boy.

"Yup! Do you want to know what I wished for my new Master?"

I looked at Astrolo and then back to the genie. She looked extremely physically pained.

"I wished for! A mostly straight man who was kinda lonely but not that lonely, who hadn't gotten laid in a while, who could coerced into wrecked my tight boy Bussy, who liked pie but not like, like liked them ya know? And who had blue eyes and brown hair and-"

And it went on and on, and on.

It had at least 12 different versions of "Will eventually end up fucking me in my ass" said in the most lewd and weird ways possible, comments on my loneliness, a few on my physical appearance, but also a bunch of random absolute nonsense like "Isn't a fly fisher cuz that's kinda really lame. Who does that?" and "isn't actually a domestic terrorist, or at the very least, was no longer one" and etc etc etc.

I was being word blasted into smithereens.

Eventually, the deluge of absolute insanity stopped, or at least slowed down.

"And that he was from the same world that other guy came from!"

That was it, that was the actual important part of all that shit.

"What."

"Yeah yeah! That guy was so rude! He practically hated me for no reason, the weirdo!"

The Genie spoke up.

"You... continually tried to get into his pants."

"Well, they were nice pants." Astrolo said with a lewd smirk.

"But don't worry Master! My aching, throbbing, self only has room for one Master! And you are already so much better! Especially in the looks department." And now I found the same lewd smirk directed at me.

A shiver ran down my spine.

"Genie, I want to go home." And there, that was when the grimace and guilt nearly crushed her face.

"Impossible master! I already used up the third wish after all."

I blinked, once and then twice. Wait, no, hold on.

"Unlike genies of legends, they miss a step. Not everyone gets unlimited wishes and there's far more rules than just three or four. One of the many is that it's 3 wishes, maximum, and they... are all gone. I literally can not get you back to your home."

I was... stuck here? I was still reeling from, from everything and now on top of all that I was also stuck here? What, no that's a bit. That's way too much to handle. That's way too much all at once.

"And now... I have to go. I can't, literally can't, stay here any longer. I am sorry. My only warning to you is to remember that physics and reality here don't work like you are use to. This entire place is based around a Comedy Hentai. Best of luck to you."

And with that, the genie was gone.

Oh god. Oh no.

I collapsed to the ground, just sitting there.

"Master, you'll catch a cold if you sit on the ground like that. There's much better places to sit... like my lap!"

"You- you-, I'm gonna need a while."

My brain was trying to make sense of too many things at once.

Genies, magic, teleportation, a porn world reality, being wished for, being trapped here, standing in front of a meme version of a literal anime character, my brain felt like it was going to explode into pieces.

Astrolo luckily just sat there and gave me time, looking at me with a smile. Ughhh. Way too much to handle at the moment.

I laid down on the floor, just saying fuck it at this point, and closed my eyes and let my thoughts and brain wander until some semblance of reason won out.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I woke up laying in bed.

That was fine, I kinda needed that bed.

It was ruined when I felt someone laying beside me.

"Morning master! Or well, evening."

I literally jumped out of the bed and nearly flew away from them, my heart hammering.

"What the fuck?!"

"Huh? Oh! But Mastterrr, you were going to catch a cold if you kept laying on the floor!"

"But why are we laying next to each other?!"

"Well, I figured master might want some, eggs and sausage for breakfast or maybe even-"

"I'm not gay!"

After all of my thinking to put my brain even into a semblance of order from all the fuckering that's happening to me, that fact had stood out the most. Astrolo had wished for me. Nearly me specifically, judging by how much they had described and said.

But I wasn't gay, I wasn't into men, at all.

Astrolo winked at me.

"You're mostly straight but you can't resist my charms forever master! After all, hasn't it been a little while since you've, done it?"

Oh good lord no.

"Look, I, appreciate your interest? But the answer is no."

Astrolo just kept smiling wider and walked over to me.

"Are you sure master? I wouldn't mind some ranch dressing after all." Then they laughed lightly, winked, and put two fingers up in a sideways peace sign. A classic anime girl pose that I was still shocked to actually see irl.

I was even more horrified to realize I was vaguely considering. God, had I been alone that long?

"Uh, ya know, all out of ranch."

"Oh, then we could do stuff crust pizza and I can be the pizza."

"Nope, uh, ya know, I think I hear my wife calling me from beyond the grave. She's telling me no."

"Weird, it'd be the first time I'm hearing that type of moan."

Said with a smirk. Oh god.

"C-can, are you incapable of not making innuendo's?"

"Oh I've got an end you can indo all day master."

Ughh, that one was terrible.

"Astrolo, let's be serious for a moment. I, I'm glad you wished for me..." and to my continued shock I really meant that. Wow. But it made a weird form or kinda sense. It just, always felt good to be wanted. Especially wanted so much they brought you from a whole other universe, probably. Sure, it wasn't exactly like that, but still. I would have pegged good money only extremely weird perverts ever wishing for-

I looked at Astrolo.

Okay, alright, that checked out but still, the sentiment was there.

"But this is all a lot you know? Why, why did you even wish for me and all that other nonsense you said?"

Credit to Astrolo, they at least made a token effort to be more serious than a constant splurge of lewd nonsense.

"It's no fun alone. You're not the only person who hasn't had anyone in a while, in a variety of ways. That guy who wished to come here literally replaced the guy I was aiming for and it's been too long. So! I wished for my perfect man!"

I was stunned by the fact that apparently Astrolo wasn't just a bunch of memes in a trenchcoat and could be real for more than 2 seconds and the fact that apparently, I was their version of a perfect man. What?

"Me? How on earth can I be your idea of a perfect man?"

"Because" and Astrolo smiled and looked at me closely "You're just like me."

And I saw it. Sure, me and Astrolo were wildly different people, extremely wildly, but there was something there that I recognized. He had said it himself hadn't he? He was lonely. But there was something more to his. I don't know what had caused it but he wasn't just lonely. Or at least, it wasn't as casual as mine was by any means. Something has caused to Astrolo to feel like he was the loneliest person on earth.

"What's wrong?" I found the words slipping out of my mouth.

Astrolo's composure never cracked, there was no deep hidden set wounds that suddenly appeared or anything like that. Astrolo was having fun, he was lewd, and he was basically a big jokester, at least in this weird universe, but he did wear his heart on his sleeve. And I could tell, quite easily tell, that he was vaguely upset.

Vaguely, as in, it was an undirected feeling.

Upset though, more as in, he was extremely angry in his own way.

"My world is a joke. Not cool bro." and he huffed.

"But now that master is here, everything is going to be okay!"

I found myself wincing. The last part of asking for someone from where this new protagonist had come from made a whole lot more sense. Astrolo literally found out that his world was semi-fake and a comedy at that. Not cool was putting that extremely mildly. I thought, for a brief second, if my whole world was like, a novel or something. It would be kind of a bummer to know that I was at least semi-unreal.

"Yeah but like, there's plenty of people other than me right? I mean, like, people that look better or have a better personality or are you know, actually gay."

"But I like how you look and your personality is perfect for me! It means I can drag you around and do whatever I want and you'll hardly resist." Astrolo said, calling me a complete pushover, without a shred of shame.

"And as for liking guys, well, I'm sure you'll like me! We can do all sorts of fun things together, like play smash bros." That last part was said practically without any lewdness at all but I still squinted my eyes at him. God, he did look good and oh no. I wasn't gay, truly, really, but it had been so long... and he looked like a girl. My brain was having trouble, trying to tell me it was a girl in front of me when I knew it wasn't.

I gulped.

I was really gonna do this huh?

Maybe I should have thought this through or gotten to know Astrolo or a literal billion other things but god damn it, fuck it. It had been too long. Not just sex wise, everything wise. Who was the last person that actually wanted me, outside of a few pics on the internet? Who was actually interested in me? I have a brief spark of realization that I was the equivalent to some guy in our world wishing for like, a catgirl girlfriend or something but man, did I not care.

If the femboy from a hentai wants me, then, well, so be it.

"Ok. Ok, we can do it, let's ju-"

I had slightly turned away from Astrolo to gather the courage to say that and when I turned around, my eyes were bulging from my head as he was already completely naked and staring at me, with his hands on his hips and a frown on his face.

"Well, are you coming or not?"

That was impossible, literally impossible, no can get undressed that fast. Right. Comedy world. It was funny and thus it was possible. Gonna take my brain a while to reconcile and learn the basic structure of reality.

Also, you know, a while for me to stop staring at his frankly massive dick. Holy crap, he was a shower and not a grower and it was at least, currently, a floppy 8 inches. It was destroying my mind and helping the rest of my brain finally accept that "holy shit, this is a guy, with a penis and balls, and I just basically agreed to have sex with him after knowing him for about 5 minutes at best.". Another, much more scared part of me, was realizing that I didn't feel that much aversion and was spiraling, trying to figure out if I was gay this entire time, was actually just into feminine guys and didn't know it, if the world itself was affecting me, or Astrolo was special.